Can You Hear Me Now?

Current residents: I think we have three people in my pod attached to alarms that go off every time they try to stand up, so lots of beeping and babysitting in the vicinity. Mildred the crazy talker is still here. One lady I thought was “normal” and went to strike up a conversation with, told me she has 8-3/4 kids. “We started with two, and now we have eight and three quarters.” Further attempts at conversation proved that she is not, indeed, “normal.” There is one old man who can’t communicate but is always trying to wheel himself (at a snail’s pace) into my room. Even when I’m not in here. There are so many old, sad people sitting out in the TV room at any given time it’s a depressing sight to see. I mostly hole up in my room and surf the ‘net. Except when my Soap is on. There is another lady here that watches Days so between the two of us we make sure the TV is on channel 7 by 1:00! Now I can delete all the saved up episodes on my PVR, I think I’m pretty much caught up. It doesn’t take long, a few minutes/week is all you really need. But what happened to Nicole? She was in prison for the kidnapping but I don’t know how they wrote her off (for now). I know she’s having a baby in real life so I expect she’ll be back.

AH called me tonight. “What is it you like? A mocha?” Soy vanilla latte! He showed up moments later with Starbucks and had all the female staff in my pod a flutter. A young, tall, dark and handsome man in a nice suit doesn’t come this way very often. He couldn’t stay long (of course, always on the run) but it was so nice of him to drop by. With a latte, no less. I’ve had more lattes while staying here than I ever did at home! Tee hee. The other night I talked to him about the kitties, and told him he should take them. “My wife is HIGHLY allergic”. I said, jokingly, “well, get rid of her” and he said, not so jokingly, “I’m working on it”. He then told me a little about what is going on at home right now, and it looks like there could be another separation happening there. No big surprise, but we’ll see how long this one lasts.

I don’t think having a latte at 6:30 pm was the smartest move ever.

That was written yesterday. It is now Saturday night and I recently got back from an 8 hour visit to my home! I got lots of work done! I cuddled kitties! I didn’t cry! I walked lots! The swelling in my feet went waaaay down! I used my Chi Machine! Of course the swelling will come back by tomorrow, but it was nice to see all I need to do is sit in my lift chair with my feet up and walk to and from the bathroom a few times to get it down. Oh, and I’m sure my Chi Machine helped. Man, I miss that thing.

I figured out that if I can move into an apartment with wider doorways/wheelchair access to my office and bathroom, I could definitely manage at home with a little more home care. Even just another hour at night. I’d even be able to work more, sitting in my comfy power chair. It would be so much better than assisted living. I’d keep my independence and my cats. I’m going to talk to them AGAIN about self-managed care. I don’t care about all the reasons they said it wouldn’t be good for me, I think I have many reasons why it would be good. And it’s cheaper for the Province to fund me for that, then it would be to live in assisted living or a group home.

Nick has come by my room the past couple of nights, just to yack. The staff over here give him a hard time when they see him in my room; the staff on his pod could care less if I’m visiting him. I think it’s because my room is very open and everyone can see in here, whereas he is tucked away in a corner where no one notices. Although Nick says the staff over here are busy bodies who need more to do lol

We were talking last night about living arrangements, and Nick said “you have to keep your independence”. He’s right. I talked about the Law of Attraction, and how the more help I started getting, and once my dad came back into my life and started doing everything without me asking him to, I lost the ability to do it. He said that is exactly what happened to him, that when he moved in with his dad and stopped doing a lot for himself because his dad did it (housework, shopping) he lost more and more until he ended up here. Very familiar story! Unfortunately, we can’t tell people to STOP helping us now, because we really have lost the ability to do this stuff ourselves. But the more we can do, and try to do, the better. I growled at my dad today when he went to lift my right leg out of the car before I even tried to do it myself, first. I have to teach him to stand back and watch me try, first, then help only if I can’t. Instead of always being 3 steps ahead of me and doing stuff for me before my head has even registered that I need to do it.

That’s why even though I grunt, groan and bitch every time I get myself to the bathroom here and need to one-handedly pull up these damn Pull-Up thingys AND my pants, and get myself back into my wheelchair and do my best to get my right foot up on the foot rest, I won’t stop doing it. I am the one that asked to get out of the diapers and into the pull-ups so I could try on my own! And yesterday I didn’t even need a nurse’s assistance to get my foot back into the right place. I’ve been 100% independent in the toilet so that’s pretty big news around these parts. I made sure they documented it!

Tom still hasn’t been in the dining room for meals, so I went to visit him today. He had been moved to a private room, and there were paramedics in with him. Yikes. I tried to go again later, but the paramedics were still there talking to him and said they were “taking him somewhere”. That’s not good. Chuck has been replaced at our dining table by Rick, who it turns out used to be one of Nick’s teachers. He has Parkinson’s disease and his wife (who also has MS!) is his primary caregiver, who has been hospitalized so Rick is here until she’s raring to go again. I just hope they don’t meet the same fate as Clive and his wife. Clive was the man who sat at my dining table in the care center in 2006, who also had Parkinson’s, who had been a teacher of mine, whose wife was his caregiver… but they had to be split up because of their different care needs. That’s a part of marriage you just don’t see coming. You’re supposed to take care of each other until you die, right?

Rick drools a lot. I told him on Monday he’d get the rounds of physio assessment, exercise options, see a doctor… he told me he gets his exercise by rescuing drool lol

I brought my memory card from my camera with a bunch of un-uploaded cat photos on it. I need to go through that tomorrow! If I have time between my mom coming to spend the day, and Shawna coming to give me a shower around 4:00. Shower! Whee!

Hello, I’m here, still alive. Just so far behind in posting anything that I’m going to do this in note form to get caught up. I will need to review Twitter and Facebook statuses to remember my life.

Oh, but first, I want to point something out. I realized something recently that I forgot to mention in my last post. If you have EVER written me an email to my donna@innereyes address or left me a comment that you thought I would respond to (especially first time commenters) and you never heard back from me, it’s because I learned via something Robyn said in her Wordpress blog that spam filters are catching these emails. That was a major “A-HA” moment for me, because I have received a lot of nice emails out of the blue from readers, and I have answered every one of them by just hitting “reply” and using the default innereyes address they sent it to, yet I never heard a peep from these people again, even when I asked them a question back. So I am SO SORRY! I receive all the emails and comments that get sent to innereyes, but I will respond from a different address from now on. This has probably been going on for years! Don’t hate me, if you’re even still reading or you stopped because you thought I was a stuck up snob. I DID respond to you!!

Anyway, about my exciting life you keep coming back to check on:

- I got my PVR hooked up. Telus said they’d be here between noon and 2:00, and they book “4 to 5 hours for the installation”. They arrived at noon, it took 15 minutes max, then they left. No doubt to go spend the sunny afternoon on a patio somewhere on their employer’s dime.

- I love my PVR

- A client came by with his tax stuff (yes, he’s always late) and because the receipts were an unorganized, wrinkled mess-in-a-box, I sent him home and told him to come back when they’re sorted. That USED to be my job, but I am so over that shit. Between my vision issues and the use of only one hand, I am not fighting with receipts anymore. And it really doesn’t bother me if I lose clients over it. I’m not enjoying my work much anymore, so I think it’s time to figure out something else I can still do. Like write that damn book…

- “Samantha Who?”, a TV show I absolutely love, has been cancelled. I joined the Twitter campaign to save it, but I don’t know if it’s helping. Catch the final previously unaired episodes Thursdays starting June 25 on ABC (John Taylor from Duran Duran is on the 25th! Wheee!) They’re showing repeats on Friday nights until then. Great show. Stupid ABC.

- Speaking of stupid ABC, I am watching The Bachelorette although I’m not really paying attention. I do hope the best for my Alberta girl Jillian, however. She’s a sweetie and, hey, the Calgary Stampede was even mentioned in one episode. Yeehaw!

- They did a cockroach inspection in my building because there have “been complaints”. SHIIIIIIT!!! There is no sign of them in my apartment, thank God (and kitty cats), and I hope and pray it stays that way. Once roaches invade a building that is IT. I’m hoping the complainers were really seeing small mice. Because I’ve had that problem and DID get rid of that!

- I’ve been going for physio fairly regularly. Unfortunately, the entire process of arranging the ride, getting out of my apartment, waiting for the ride, the ride itself, exercising, then doing it all again in reverse is sometimes too much for me that day and I have to cancel. Oh, how I wish we could get PT in our homes. The Range of Motion I get from my home care worker is great, and I got it increased to 4X/week, but it’s just simple stretches and doesn’t do anything to improve strength.

- The Executive Producer of the Oprah show is following me on Twitter. She asked her thousands of followers to tell her how long they’d been watching, favourite episodes, etc. and she would follow a few back. I sent several messages because I have been watching Oprah since 1812, and even remember her appearances on The Tonight Show and David Letterman back when she was promoting The Color Purple and her “new show”. So her Exec. Prod. Sheri Salata is following me now and I have yet to say anything brilliant to make her think “wow, we must fly that girl to Chicago and put her on the show.” Maybe she’s not too impressed that I whined about the cost of shipping an Oprah show mug (not to her, just in general). But, seriously? I got an Ellen Degeneres show mug, a book, and shipping to Canada, all for $35US. An Oprah mug is $12 PLUS $35 for shipping! I can’t justify that. I love my Ellen mug, by the way. Great handle.

- AH has been in Lebanon for the past couple of weeks. One of the political parties there offered to fly out any Canadian families with dual citizenship for free, for 30 days, if they voted for them. Not too corrupt now, is it? I don’t know the voting procedures over there, but I’d like to know how they can be sure the vote is going to them? Anyway, I guess their tactic worked because they won.

- I attended a mini high school reunion of a bunch of us ladies that went to school together. It was all organized through our re-connecting on Facebook. It was great fun, my friend Lisa picked me up and although I was assured the location was wheelchair accessible, our gathering was held in a private room that was up two little steps (with no railing otherwise I could have managed). I don’t have one of those chairs you can tilt backwards to roll up steps (I have safety bars to keep it from tilting backwards, but times like this it would be nice to be able to remove them). So two big, strong bartenders carried me in my chair up the steps. Times like this it would also be nice to weigh 92 pounds. Anyway, we had fun, the food and service was amazing, everyone looked fabulous, have fabulous lives and families and money, and I came home and wanted to stab myself. Heh.

- The following weekend my friend Kim and her daughter came into town (from Red Deer area) and we went to Cora’s for lunch. I want to eat there every day.

***Tee hee! I started typing this entry several days ago and right now it is Sunday, June 14. Today my dad, brother and his girlfriend picked me up to go for lunch and wandering through Prince’s Island Park. I talked them into going to Cora’s for lunch. Hee!***

- I downloaded and have been listening to Deepak Chopra’s “Quantum Healing” audiobook. It makes so much sense. I was shocked to hear it was recorded in 1989. That’s 20 years ago! He was talking about this stuff even back then! I wish I had heard it 20 years ago. Of course, 20 years ago I was in good health and wouldn’t have sought it out. That’s the thing; when you are in good health, you don’t think about your health. When you’re struggling with your health, it is all you can think about. Therein lies one of the problems. An interesting part of the audio is the good reminder that our cells are constantly dying off and being replaced with new ones. The skin is replaced every month, the liver every 6 weeks. Over the course of a year we have an entire new brain! The stomach tumor diagnosed a few months ago is not composed of the same set of cells as is there today, now repeating the pattern that was set into place earlier. Our cells replicate based on our patterns and beliefs. Happy thoughts produce happy molecules, unhappy thoughts produce unhappy molecules. Although cases of spontaneous deathly cancer cures and disease remissions are rare, they do happen enough to believe it is possible to change our patterns and heal. Chopra says “everyone’s body knows how to heal a cut. Apparently a few people have bodies that know how to cure cancer. Every day a few cancer cells arise in your body, and automatically the DNA, the intelligence in your body knows how to take care of them. So called “spontaneous” remissions are nothing more than an exaggerated phenomenon of what is happening all the time”. There is a lot more to it than that, obviously, and it makes me want to look into Ayurvedic medicine a lot more. I’d like a body that knows how to heal MS! Louise Hay has always said to use the healing affirmation “I am willing to release the pattern in me that has created this condition.” I do say that every day, but not very often and I probably follow it shortly after with a swear word or two so a lot of good that does me!

- Speaking of cells and cell health, I’ve been taking StemEnhance in the large doses for just over a month now. No difference yet. But if the new stem cells I’m making are a part of my old MS thought pattern, and I don’t make healthy cells, then by enhancing the amount I make, could I be making myself worse? Ahhhhh. Of course the scientist behind the product would say “no”, but my basic common sense has me wondering. So every time I take 2 StemEnhance capsules I now follow it with a 1/4 tsp. of Ambrotose, which is supposed to support cellular health and “cell to cell” communication. I know from personal experience (I started taking Ambrotose in 2000) that it is a good product and certainly helps with MS fatigue, but like every other supplement I got lazy about taking it and the cost is so high… but since I have a couple of unopened jars around here I decided this was as good a time as any to commit to taking at least minimal amounts along with the StemEnhance and it should be a great combination! If the claims are true, StemEnhance makes MORE stem cells, and Ambrotose makes those cells healthy. I am an MLM distributor’s dream! Also, a human guinea pig. I’m going to call some StemTech people today because the more I think about that, the more it has me worried. Otherwise, I plan to do this for at least 2 more months before I draw any conclusions. And the next place I’ll use my credit card is right here. I really need to win a lottery, this stuff is expensive!

- I went to the information session on Self-Managed Care. Wow, they sure do overwhelm you and don’t make it easy for you. I think I will go for it, though, because at this point I really do need more assistance than regular home care can provide me with. However, I am looking at at least a year long waiting list so it won’t happen anytime soon. They only have 500 people in the program (out of the 11,000 home care clients in the city) with 58 people on the waiting list. No one gets in unless someone leaves (death or move to assisted living) plus they prioritize the waiting list. Since I’m already receiving a fair bit of home care service with my 6 days per week personal care, 4 days range of motion and an hour every 2 weeks for homemaking, I’m told I’d be at the bottom of the priority list. Bah. Anyway, I’ll be assessed at some point to decide on how much I qualify for (I want to hire someone that can help me get in a POOL!!!) and get on that list. As it is, any friends or family that visit me become automatic caregivers for the duration of their visit because I don’t have one! And that is not fair.

- The assessment will be done by my O/T, but he’s a little busy for me right now because I received my approval letter for the power wheelchair!!! I’m not sure when exactly I’ll be getting it, but I AM getting it! Woo hoo!

- I saw a couple good movies, He’s Just Not That Into You and Role Models (soooooo funny! Jane Lynch at her hilarious best!) I have seen commercials for movies I want to see, and some that… well… Eddie Murphy needs to stop making movies.

- I may bitch about our government from time to time, as is my right as a voter, but I am truly blessed to live in Canada. I read other blogs and what other MSers go through and the costs to get medication and help and I am so lucky. Also? Signed another one year contract for my rent subsidy. Between my AISH (Assured Income for the Severely Handicapped), my rent subsidy and all medical and home care costs paid for, a person can actually live a modest life with a little dignity and not file for bankruptcy because they can’t afford their medical bills. Of course, I still think our Health Care system is a “Sick Care” system and as I choose natural health products, procedures and supplements I’m on my own, when it comes right down to it I do take a couple meds I don’t have to pay for and see doctors and dentists and stay in hospitals and get a POWER WHEELCHAIR and daily help to shower and dress and… I’m lucky. Thank you Government for letting me count.

- This You Tube sensation is a local guy. He made front page news here. He needs to go on Ellen, no one would appreciate the power of one person dancing to start something like that more than her!

I think the cats knocked my card reader onto the floor in behind the shelf where I keep my Macbook, so I can’t get to all the pictures on my camera. So these are from my dad’s Blackberry again.

Pita and Pepper had a stare-down the other day. It started in the living room with Pepper ready to smack down Pita, but turned into a staring contest with Pita slowly walking backwards and Pepper following her, never taking their eyes off each other, ready to pounce at any moment. It’s times like this you realize why you MUST have more than one cat.

And the winner is… Pepper!

But Pita is still a STAR.

For the first time in a long time, I can honestly say I’m feeling good, and looking forward to the future! My God, it’s been forever since I felt this way.

I think it’s a combination of a few things. For starters, my big shipment of StemEnhance arrived and I’m working my way up to 2 capsules every two hours. I’m really hopeful that this is going to help me a lot. I also met with my new Physiotherapist I’ll be seeing at the hospital near me, and he was so positive that I can get some mobility back, that it made me more optimistic, too. He is really nice, and I’ll be seeing him twice/week for the time being. I’m sure I will eventually be referred back to the group exercise classes at Living Well with a Chronic Illness, which is fine as long as I’m able to do it. But for now, I’m thrilled to have some one-on-one P/T for at least a month or so. Between physio, Range of Motion exercises with my home care and my Chi Machine, I’m getting a decent amount of exercise and will hopefully be able to add walks up and down the hallway to that list soon (when I I feel stronger and more balanced and confident!)

Once I decided to pursue self-managed care, that took a load off, too. Even though it may take 6 months or so to set up, at least I can look towards the future and the possibilities of having a lot more help getting out and about and getting to the POOL and even a fresh salad prepared for me once in awhile (I seriously will not prepare or eat salad on my own, but if it is prepared for me, even from a bag, and handed to me I will not only eat it, but I will enjoy it. I need a wife). I tried to get into the self-managed care presentation on May 7 but it was booked solid. I’ll be going next month. And if you don’t show up, you are BLACKLISTED. They have huge waiting lists. That’s why even if I decide to do it and get my assessment it takes months for the funding to come through. So, in the meantime, if StemEnhance does its job I won’t NEED extra care, thankyouverymuch.

The other thing that has helped lift my spirits is that I FINALLY got the proper forms filled out and went through the numerous channels and made several phone calls to get Access Calgary to change my mobility status from “ambulatory” to the fact that I will mostly be using my scooter (and power chair, if I get it) when I go out, so they stop sending me regular cars and send me wheelchair vans or busses instead. This gives me a whole lot of freedom! Yesterday I went to my physio appointment ALL BY MYSELF! Until I get my power chair I will still need my dad to take me to most medical appointments in my folding chair because my scooter is too big to fit into most offices (and restaurants and live music venues and other places I want to go). But now I can make arrangements to spend an afternoon wandering downtown or in another mall besides the one next door (which is a great little mall and very handy with a Wal-Mart right there, but a change of scenery would be nice. Plus they don’t have a MAC counter or a Purdy’s).

The downside to that status change is that I will never have AH as a driver again because he drives a regular car. Not that I’ve used Access in the past year anyway, and not that AH and I even talk much these days, but it was always a nice thought that there was a chance he’d be the one picking me up and even if the trip was a loooong city-tour one, I wouldn’t complain because I’d have a nice person to talk and laugh with. He’ll just have to get a wheelchair van now, that’s all haha

And that brings me to the next thing that has helped my outlook on life, seeing AH again and having a nice evening out with friends! Shawna and her boyfriend Billy took me out for dinner last weekend, and since Billy and AH are friends (we are the reason Shawna and Billy met in the first place) and our birthdays are the same day, he came along too! I haven’t seen AH in over a year and have barely talked to him. It was so great to see him and reminded me how much I like talking to him and how much fun I have just being around him. And how kind he can be; he reminded me he gets all the movie channels and will record any movies I want to see, and he’s going to bring me pure bovine colostrum (colostrum is really good for your immune system, digestive system, all kinds of things and although you can get it in supplements, AH’s wife gets it directly from the Hutterite’s cows for free). He mixes it with a bit of milk and makes a kind of yogurt out of it. Sounds yuck but it is really good for you.

Billy and Shawna at dinner. Playing with my MacBook photo settings.

Me and AH. I obviously smudged out his features because after everything I have said about him in here, I don’t think it’s a good idea to reveal him completely!

And now that I’ve played around with those photos, I have realized I saved them that way and will never be able to see the originals again. Ack!

Anyway, long time readers know AH and I went through quite a lot there a few years ago when we first met and he was separated from his wife, but I’m pleased to say that although I still think he’s a very attractive man, there is absolutely no physical attraction there anymore. And the more I get to know him as a friend, the more I piece together all the lies he was telling me back then to get me to go out with him (I figured out a doozy last week). It may be water under the bridge now, but man, I don’t understand how any woman could be with a man who lies so often, easily, and effortlessly. That’s scary. At least I’m not the one married to him.

Shawna will be here any minute so I’ll need to take a blog break. I think we are going to see a movie later. Getting out with friends certainly helps a girl going through some rough times handle it better!

So I mentioned about a year ago that I switched my TV from the only choice we used to have, Shaw Cable, to the new service from the phone company, Telus TV. Free digital, one year free service, yadda yadda yadda. So my one year free is up, and when I got my bill yesterday something didn’t seem right, so I called them to ask about it. Also in my mail was a letter from Shaw, asking me to come back to them and they’ll give me a free PVR. I’d also heard Telus was giving away PVRs to new customers. So I decided I am getting a free PVR, too. I called them about my bill, and after that was explained, I told him I’d heard about free PVRs and that Shaw offered me one to go back to them, so what could Telus do for me? He said - get this - “oh, they are not free PVRs. If you agree to a new three year contract, you get a PVR unit and we will set it up for you at no charge. The cost for rental is $20/month, and we credit you back the $20.” So… what you’re telling me is the PVR costs $20/month, but you waive that fee? How is that not free? He put me through to the customer loyalty department where a new guy said “so you want a PVR, and you don’t want to pay for it?” Yes, please. “We can do that.” I asked him if the PVR is “free” for the first year, or the three years of the contract, or what? He said “you don’t pay for the PVR as long as you use Telus TV.” Correct me if I’m wrong, as I’m sure the Telus people will, but that, my friends, is a free PVR. I get it installed next Sunday (yes, their techs work Sundays!) and really look forward to being able to pause live TV so I can go to the bathroom and not miss anything. Apparently I am the first person to say that to the guy on the phone. “Everyone always says ‘go to the kitchen’.” Well. Everyone is obviously LYING.

Shawna and I went to see “17 Again” last night. It was cute. Zac Efron is hot. I’m sorry, but he is. I’m 41 and I’m allowed to say so.

I feel exceptionally good today. I don’t know if the StemEnhance is starting to kick in or what, but I am liking this. I can actually say I like life again, and I haven’t been able to say that for a long time. This is good. Last night I was in bed and I remember feeling sooooo good, snuggled in my comfy bed in my awesome sheets (1200 thread count Egyptian cotton I got for a steal off eBay) and fluffy duvet and just feeling blessed and lucky. I don’t know where it’s coming from, but I hope it keeps on coming. I’m pretty sure listening to Wayne Dyer’s Being in Balance audio on my iPod every day for weeks hasn’t hurt. That stuff has to register at some point.

I am still having a grand ‘ol time on Twitter. I follow some hilariously funny people. Some actors aren’t funny unless they are reading from a script. I don’t follow them for long. But some ARE (Aziz Ansari, I’m looking at you) and even better are the writers that write their funny lines for TV. That’s pretty much what I do on Twitter; laugh and re-tweet things that make me laugh. And toss out the odd original update/observation. I do follow a few friends and authors of blogs I read, and have even connected with some pretty cool people I might not otherwise have come across, but I’m no power-Twitterer. Those people scare me.

Time to fill up the cat food bins and get on my chi machine. Ciao!

I just want to smoosh my face into Pepper. I often do.

I’m finally getting caught up on my sleep. A visit to my doctor last week resulted in some new medication which is helping with muscle tension and spasms (I think I’ve got Restless Leg Syndrome which kept waking me up). I’ve stopped using my sleeping pills because they weren’t working anyway, and I think what may be helping the most is the “Insomnia Buster Bundle” I downloaded. I bookmarked that site many months ago because I read somewhere how great those downloads are. I’ve since downloaded and burned several recordings to CD such as this one and this one and this one and this one, and am planning to send myself on a retreat without actually leaving my home, to give myself a good week or so to do nothing but meditate, listen to these CDs, use my Chi Machine, take all my vitamins and supplements and eat healthy, because taking care of myself properly is a full-time friggin’ job!

I’m mega stressed. What about? All sorts of things. My mobility seems to worsen every day and instead of thinking positive and attracting health and well-being, I’m crying and upset and pissed off and only attracting more negativity. I can’t seem to turn it around (hence getting that “stop negative thinking” download). I’m angry because the mat platform I ordered over a month ago, that was to be here within 10 days, still isn’t here. I want to use my Chi Machine because I know how much that will help me, but I can’t without that table. The company finally responded to my several emails asking where it is, and the best they can do is apologize and tell me it will arrive August 29 - September 5. After the website and TWO customer service reps told me 10 days. I’m JUST SO MAD. I know that won’t make it come faster, but I’m JUST SO MAD. I want my fucking table and I want it LAST WEEK.

I’ve been eating well, (except for the few days at the music festival) and I’m not feeling any better or losing any weight. It’s making me a little crazy. I’ve avoided fast food and sugar and all fake sugars, and snacking. Sure, I’ve had pizza, but it’s been thin crust veggie with very little cheese (as opposed to the mile high pepperoni and cheese I used to get regularly). I haven’t been PERFECT, but I’ve been eating a hell of a lot better in the past 3 months than in all the months prior. And I’m so frustrated that my clothes are not looser and I’m not any less of a body to lug around.

A couple weekends ago I was at the Mountainview Music Festival, which was fabulous. You’d think I’d be on some sort of a high from that. But I’m not. With all the good that was around me that weekend, all the help from my mom and Bob and amazing friends, all I seem to focus on is the negative. The stupid bonehead that works at the front desk of the hotel who is SO STUPID I can’t get over it. She doesn’t know the meaning of “no stairs”. When I got the wheelchair room for the second night, she made us sit there in the lobby for half an hour while she insisted the housekeepers must eat their lunch first, in front of us, before they put the clean sheets on the bed (which would have taken all of one minute). Then she double booked the wheelchair room, and tried to kick me out. MORON. Then, of course, we have the fact that I am sitting in a wheelchair all day and can’t move myself around. I was dependant on others to push me and everyone was busy running around. I felt like such a burden. Plus? Sitting in a wheelchair all day? SUPER exhausting. And that was the weekend I started this whole not-getting-any-sleep thing so I was super tired and crabby while trying to be smiley and positive. In reality, I was so angry. Angry I couldn’t walk around. Angry I couldn’t be camping or get myself to and from my hotel whenever I wanted. Angry that I didn’t have the energy or ability to party with my friends during the evening activities at the bars (for the Trailer Park Boys, Barney Bentall, Plaid Tongued Devils) and Jason’s house for the party the last night. Angry that I couldn’t run around the grounds, pitching in to volunteer wherever I was needed. Wah, wah, wah, poor me, bitch, whine, bitch.

I actually put in an application with Accessible Housing for a wheelchair accessible apartment, and I’ve got the application forms to apply for funding to get a motorized wheelchair to use around my home. Oops, here I go again, here come the tears. Hang on….

I can’t talk about it without crying so I guess it makes sense that I can’t write about it without crying, either. It’s a very difficult thing to have to face. I am a long ways from the “acceptance” phase, and I don’t really want to go there. I’d rather have a body that works. I think I’ll save this discussion for another day. Moving on…

Remember when I mentioned that guy banging on my bedroom window at 4:00 a.m. a few weeks ago? I don’t think I have to worry about him anymore. That video also features my neighbour Richard, whom I’ve mentioned in here a few times before. He is officially moving out. The moral of this story is, “always pay your drug dealer”.

Okay, so, I need to talk about something fun and fluffy. Shawna is coming over soon, and we are going to make slushy drinks and talk about our mutual crappy weeks. I haven’t had a slushy drink in SO LONG, I am looking forward to it. Oh, and Shawna’s visit too, of course. Tee hee.

I heard from AH yesterday, he is finally back from Lebanon. I expect we may actually get together for our birthday dinner before the snow falls!

I was watching a biogrophy on Hilary Swank the other night, and learned that the year she won the Academy Award for Boys Don’t Cry, she lost her health insurance because in order to be insured through SAG, you need to earn at least $5,000 in the year, and she only made $3,000 for Boys Don’t Cry. THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS!!! Can you believe that? I admire her even more now. She probably earned at least 20 times that for The Next Karate Kid. Her acting in Boys Don’t Cry was such an amazing performance and that movie stayed with me for a long, long time.

And finally, when the Good Lovelies were here last month, Sue managed to catch Pita with her camera doing what I see her do a million times/day:

Caption This.

Okay, so, over withdrawal or not, I’ve started doing the Quantum Wellness cleanse of no gluten, sugar, caffeine, alcohol or animal products of any kind for up to 21 days. I’m on Day Two. So far, so good! I’m not looking forward to the sugar withdrawals. The only sweetener allowed is agave nectar or Stevia (and fruit is allowed), so not even pure maple syrup. I found an awesome vegan/gluten free/sugar free protein powder with zero carbs that fills me up like you wouldn’t believe, so that’s good! After I’m done the cleanse I plan to stick to being a (mostly) vegetarian and even a quasi-vegan. I’m not so sure I can 100% give up cheese and ice cream…

I was thinking recently, that I haven’t written about AH in awhile! That’s because he’s in Lebanon, and the last time I talked to him was shortly before he left, on my (our) birthday. We never did go out for our annual birthday dinner, and when (if?) he returns from Lebanon (it’s supposed to be in a couple weeks) he may not even go back to working for Access. Since him picking me up for my Access trips is about the only way I’ve seen him in months, who knows if we’ll even cross paths again. I think our friendship may have run its course, anyway. It’s difficult to be friends with a married man in a bad marriage, especially when you know he will never introduce you to his wife because she’s crazy jealous, and especially after you have discovered all these things about him and his caveman attitudes over the years, that you don’t like so much. Maybe the reason he came into my life was not actually for me, but for my friend Shawna; so she could meet Billy and live happily ever after. (So far so good, she moved here last week!)

Yes, my friend Shawna moved to Calgary from Winnipeg. I am so happy she’s here!! She’s living close by, and she wants to do some of the same stuff I want to do but need help in order to do it, and I know she will help me and be an amazing support. Like go to the pool… OMG it will be so nice to get back in the water!!!

I think I’m almost over my withdrawal, I haven’t cried for *no reason* since… Thursday, I think? Nothing else has improved though, like the physical stuff, so hopefully this cleanse will help. The whole purpose of this cleanse is to “eliminate sources of toxins and allergens, giving the digestive system a break from working overtime to process the substances that inhibit optimum performance the most” so your body can concentrate on other stuff, like healing itself. And my body has a LOT of healing to do! I hope I last the full 21 days, but even the author says “Stay on this program for as many days as you can, up to 21 days, as your ambition, willingness, and ability allow. Just do the best you can and don’t worry about perfection. The first time around, you may go just a day or two. That’s fine. Just give it a try. Take one day at a time. Don’t look too far ahead. Who knows? You may surprise yourself when you find yourself on day 14!” I just know I need to stay away from (plain) potato chips because they ARE allowed, but I’ll eat them non-stop if I get into that mindset. That’s what I did when I tried the no wheat/dairy/sugar thing for a couple months awhile back. I didn’t lose any weight because I practically lived off potato chips!! It’s funny to me that people envision vegetarians and vegans as slim and healthy… when in reality, if you have issues with food addiction and your weight etc., you WILL find things you can eat that will still pack the pounds on. That’s why I need to get back to Weight Watchers soon, too.

Anyway, enough about that. I’m not going to fill this blog up with talk about the cleanse and Weight Watchers! There are many other blogs about that.

Let’s see, what else is new… not much. I went to Calgary Housing on Friday to sign forms regarding the renewal of my rent subsidy, and I’ll be getting a bit more now, which is good because my rent went up in January. I’m a little worried that the agreement ends on March 31 “because we’ve only been guaranteed funding until then”. Come ON!! This province has SO MUCH MONEY (we are the only province I think, that totally benefits from the rising price of fuel and oil) and we have a budget surplus in the multi-BILLIONS. I think the government can afford to help out those of us who do NOT work in the oil and gas industry of this city, who are pretty much on a fixed disability income while costs continue to rise around us… sigh. I really hope my health improves over the next year so I can work more, I hate relying on the government to pay my rent!!

Oh, speaking of money, I’ve almost paid off my Bay card (that should be finished by early August) which will cross another thing off my 101 list. Remember that? Yeah, I wasn’t thinking straight when I put that list together. How, exactly, am I supposed to reach my financial goals of getting out of credit card debt, while buying myself all the stuff on that list and taking all those trips?? It cannot be done on what I make/get. Crazyperson. For the first time in years I’m not planning a fall trip to Toronto or Montreal I really need to concentrate on paying off the ones I’ve already taken hehe

I love my Alien Kitty.

And the totally Not Alien one.

Thursday, March 20 ~

Did you know my babies are two years old now? I don’t know their exact birthdate, but I know it was the first week or so of March. And I still love them more than anything! They make me laugh out loud every day. It’s awesome. I highly recommend at least two cats per household.

Ah, yes. I remember it well.

And so do they.

I’m insanely busy with work at the moment, but today is full of other stuff, and I don’t have time to devote to work before I have to do something else, so I’m writing this. It’s much easier to be interrupted during a blog post and then pick it up where I left off, than it is work. You see, today I had Home Care at 10:00, a Home Care nurse/supervisor is coming by at 12:30 for a meeting/assessment, and then my friend Shawna arrives from Winnipeg sometime after that and will be heading to my place straight from the airport. I get her for a few hours before she goes to another friend’s to spend the night, and then I’ll see her again on Sunday. In between, she will be with her boyfriend. Remember, the guy AH brought out with him, like, 3 years ago, when we were dating, and I wanted to go out when Shawna was in town, so I told him to bring a friend? Yeah. That guy. They’re still together!

Hmmm… reading that old entry reminds me that I used to have a life. I really miss Christine, too! She’s living in Ottawa now, going to law school! Who’d a thunk it? Ahhhh, the days of only needing a cane to get around. Before all the surgeries and falls and broken wrist and extended hospital stays and weight gain and anti-depressants… God, I’m working on getting back there, I sure hope I can.

Speaking of AH, yes, we still talk and stuff. I actually got rather short with him on the phone the other day, when he called me in the middle of the day when I was knee deep in work. My head was wrapped around what I was doing, and he asked me “has the government made new laws or something?” Huh? “my (brother/nephew/cousin I can’t remember) received a bill for $500 for filing his taxes late. Why?” How should I know? Is he incorporated? Yes. When’s his year end? Don’t know. Well, it depends on when his year end is, how late he filed, how much he owed when he filed… I can’t help you if you don’t know all that, the CRA charges penalties and interest to late filers when they owe. Duh. I’m busy, I gotta go.

I haven’t heard from him since then, can’t imagine why. I get stressed when I’m really busy and the phone rings off the hook for all sorts of reasons. It’s that time of the year…

My psychologist at the Clinic for Mind/Body Medicine has moved her office over to the hospital close to me!! I’m sooooo happy. No more sitting in a car for over an hour each way. Best of all, both my weekly commitments (to Troy’s for work, and this appointment) are in the NE not too far from me, so none of my regular trips will be long ones. AND I get AH as my driver a lot when I go to places nearby. AND, this is the hospital with a Second Cup right in the entrance I use, so I think I literally cried tears of joy when Jennifer told me she was being transferred there.

The Home Care nurse just left. Wow, we went over a lot of stuff! I’m really excited. She’s referring me to a foot clinic, where they can make a bunch of stuff to help me walk better, including fixing up the ankle/foot orthotic I had made a couple years ago (when I broke my wrist and was staying at Carewest, where the physio dept. got one made for me - to help my right foot lift up when I walk - but I have never been able to use it because I can’t get it on by myself or even with help!) and special shoes and a lift for my right leg, which is shorter than my left leg. My gait is so messed up from all these years of funny walking (and breaking my ankle in 2002). She’s also going to check with their volunteer centre to see if she can find someone to go to the pool with me twice/week!!! Someone to help me get in and out of my bathing suit. She said it may take a couple of months, but there is hope that I can get back in the water. YES!!! Next week my Home Care worker, Harpal, is getting training and supervision to exercise with me 3 mornings/week, so if I get that exercise M-W-F and then can add in water exercise Tues. and Thurs., PLUS stuff to help me walk better and safer (so I actually will walk more), I am ON MY WAY. I’m so excited. She’s also referring an occupational therapist to get me a new walker… mine is wrecked up and an old model. Pita has pretty much ripped the foam off the handles, and the plastic tray I use every day is cracked and broken.

I LOVE SOCIALIZED HEALTH CARE!! There, I said it. We may not have a perfect system, but until I saw Sicko I didn’t realize just how GOOD we have it. I’d be living on the street if I lived in the U.S. with the amount of health issues and hospital stays I’ve had! Plus I’d probably have to buy my own walker. Which are, like, $600. Now, if we could just get air conditioners for persons with MS made a medical necessity instead of a non-medical appliance that isn’t covered by Aids to Daily Living, that would be nice.

My friend Sheldon made the funniest video ever, but he recorded it on Facebook, so I don’t think you can see it unless you have a Facebook account.

Please go here to laugh now.

If you’re unable to see that, I filmed it off my computer using my camera and uploaded to You Tube, but obviously the sound and quality is not nearly as good as the original. I’m hoping Sheldon will start a comedy channel on You Tube and upload videos so we can all watch his silly antics on a regular basis.

Friday, March 21 ~

Shawna showed up yesterday afternoon, and we went to the mall. Big surprise, huh? I bought Easter stuff for Jason and Sheldon ’cause we’ll be seeing them on Sunday, including a singing duck which I hope will become the official mascot for their Kitchen Radio. Anyway, we ate, shopped, and talked. Then I ended up getting caught up in Thursday night television without finishing this up. I think I’m going to like that new show Miss Guided, unless it’s on opposite The Office when it comes back. There is no contest. But Miss Guided was funny, and I love Judy Greer.

Okay, well, I better get my ass in gear and get some work done today! Happy Easter everyone, enjoy your weekend.

The litter boxes were cleaned and aired out to dry.

“Okay, let’s trade”

We have a winner!

I figured I should update y’all on the Pay It Forward project. So far, I have collected $550! See, all your little $10-15-20 contributions added up. Some people gave even larger amounts, which is so awesome. This week I received $100 (combined), so yesterday I went and picked up some more pajamas and a few more things from Dollarama (brushes, soap). I’m trying to keep photos of what I’ve bought up to date at Flickr. Later today my friend Kim arives and she’s staying the night, so on Saturday she will bring everything I’ve bought so far to the shelter. I’m not done yet, though… I’m making December 23 the official cut-off for contributions, giving me one last day to shop, before the remainder of what I get goes to the shelter on Christmas day. I was hoping to reach at least the $800 mark, but I’ve done pretty good! My living room is pretty full of stuff, but we need MORE PAJAMAS.

So, to sum it up: if you haven’t contributed yet, you have until December 23 to do so! Use the paypal button at the end of the entry, or email me (donna@innereyes.com) for other payment options. Thank you all SO MUCH!! (All money is going towards buying necessities for the women and children escaping abusive relationships at CAWES. A quick peek at their website just now tells me that Alberta has the highest rate of family violence in Canada, and leads the country in domestic assault, homicide-suicide amd stalking. Oh, yay for us. *shudder*

My vision is still double, and it’s REALLY annoying. Screws up my balance and everything, too. It’s been over two weeks… I sure hope it’s temporary!! I went blind in 1999 for 6 weeks, and that went away (leaving my right eye messed up, but at least I could see again) so I am hoping this is like that. No longer than 6 weeks!!! Double vision 24 hours a day SUCKS ASS.

Last weekend we did Christmas early. It was the only time my mom and brother could both be here… my brother is moving this weekend, and Mom and Bob leave next week for New Brunswick. They’re spending Christmas with Bob’s family out there (including all his grandkids!) So my brother came over here, which he hasn’t been able to do for months. His work is keeping him soooo busy, and now moving. We exchanged gifts; of course, money towards my new electronic lift chair was my main gift I already received, but I still got a few other things. My mom can’t handle not having presents for us to open! I got a new microwave oven, which is awesome. I’ve had this old thing I got used, many years ago, without a turntable thingy, and it did an awful job. The new one is great, stuff is heating up way faster, and evenly! Yay. I also got a nice large basket to collect my recycled bottles and cans (instead of the green garbage bag I had been using), and a shower shelf to keep all my bathroom stuff on! Mom gave us stockings filled with goodies that I am quickly making my way through. Darren gave me a DVD (Number 23) and the one I ordered for him didn’t arrive until this past Monday, so he’ll get it on Christmas. We are doing our own little Christmas this year, just us.

Oh, and before my brother came over, my friend Pam popped by for a bit. She brought me a mini-loaf of her freshly baked banana chocolate chip bread, as well as some great pressies (hemp soaps and candle, and some healing stones). I’m not sure how to use the stones, but that is why we have Google. Last night I decided to take the Jade stone (for sleep problems) and keep it under my pillow for the night. Why not, right? I’m desperate to get off sleeping pills and will try anything. The plan was, to put the stone inside my pillowcase, under the pillow. Not to drop it as I was getting into bed, and have no idea where it ended up.

I bought a cheap CD player for my bedroom, and have been listening to various relaxation CDs to try and get to sleep without pharmaceuitcal interference. It’s not happening yet, but it may take time!

Anyway, Saturday night my mom stayed over, and between Saturday night and Sunday, lots was done around here. My office became a place I am able to work in again, and a few trips to the garbage dumpster were made. My place is “tidy” again, which makes such a huge difference. This vision/balance things has made every move more difficult and I’ve been feeling so useless. I wonder if I’ll be weaning off my anti-depressants any time soon? I’m still seeing my psychologist at the mind/body medicine clinic, and next week I’ll be talking to the psychiatrist there about getting off these meds. I figure it will be basic weaning, 10mg less every couple weeks or so until I’m off them. I don’t want to need them. Being sad because your vision is fucked up and you’re unable to do even the most basic of tasks for yourself is totally normal. Even on the dose I am taking, I’ve been breaking down in tears a lot lately. Which is to be expected, who wouldn’t? So I’m not sure pills are what I need. What I need, is a Time Machine to take me back to this night (I was thinking about it last night - how good I felt, how much healthier I was, how that is the night Jason and I officially became Friends, not just acquaintances, the clothes I could fit into, the just needing a cane and sometimes not even that…) When Jason was helping me into his van a couple weeks ago, I made a comment about how much things had changed since the first time I got into that van and didn’t need more than a little boost. Now it is a workout for everyone involved. I’m heavier, my MS is worse, my emotions are heavier… Jason, always the sweetie, said “you’re still the same Donna to me. You’re doing great! You’re fine! You have up and down waves with this. You’ll be just fine and I think you’re doing great”. It makes me cry just thinking about it. I love that man.

Okay, where was I before I got off on a “woe is me” tangent?? Oh, my place being tidy thanks to my mom and brother. Yes. And, of course, my home care worker helps me so much too!! I’m so grateful for that.

This week, so far, has been quiet. Lots of reading, working, going to the post office… AH picked me up from work on Wednesday, which was nice. I haven’t seen him in ages. He’s taken on an office painting project BECAUSE HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO SAY NO which is taking up his evenings and weekends. And somewhere in there he has to bring his kids Kinder Eggs every night. He started it, and now he has to keep it up hahaha!

Tonight will be nice, with Kim here. We’re going for dinner, and hopefully to see live music… but it will depend on how I feel… I’ve been such a party pooper lately. I’ve canceleed so many plans I’ve had because of my current condition. Pleeeeeease let it be temporary!!!

Pita missed her calling

As a Tightrope Walker.

I started this post on Oct. 18 and when I went to finish it, my blog was down. Then I had a super busy weekend and wasn’t able to get on here. Then I went to finish it, and my blog was (still?) down. Fingers crossed that it stays up long enough for me to finish it THIS time.

Started October 18 ~

We interrupt our vacation postings for a general ramblings post because it’s been a LONG TIME and I know you’re all wondering what’s going on in my life right now.

At this moment, I am trying to avoid obsessively refreshing my eBay selling page to see if anyone is bidding higher. There are a few hours left on couple things I’m selling, and I keep checking back. So I decided to come here to keep my mind off of it.

Yesterday I worked at Troy’s, and one of those Access drivers that has a crush on me picked me up. He’s the sweetest man. When I say “crush” with him I don’t seriously think he has a romantic crush on me… I think he just wishes I was his daughter or something. Although, he always offers to come over and scoop the cat litter and do housework AND make me coffee, so you never know. Yesterday he stopped at Mac’s for me and got me a large Seattle’s Best coffee. Some of these wonderful drivers really make up for the bad Access experiences I have! Oh, that reminds me, I should call Access and give him a compliment. They like to get positive feedback, they receive so little!

Okay, done. ****Refresh eBay page**** YAY!! All my stuff has bids so will sell for sure.

So what else… oh, Rob Szabo and Peter Katz are here this weekend!!! That’s right!! Saturday night at the Ironwood, anyone reading in the Calgary area had better be there!!! They’re touring Western Canada together again like they did last year. Remember, last year I got them their gig at Original Joe’s (ignore anything I say about that new food plan that lasted 2 months in that entry). This year, Rob made his mark at the Ironwood in April, and will never have to worry about scrambling to get a gig in this city again!

Oh, and speaking of Access drivers, I have hardly talked to AH lately! He did babysit my kitties while I was away, keeping them fed and actually scooped the litter this time (I gave him a lecture about that, and supplied dust masks). Then it was Ramadan, and since he doesn’t allow himself to even look at another woman during that time, (I asked him how that is possible, and he told me if he catches himself looking, he remembers it’s Ramadan and looks away immediately and thinks only pure thoughts. Whatever…) so he certainly isn’t going to talk to one on the phone. But I do intend to take him out for dinner (Olive Garden if we can get in, he still has never been there) to thank him for looking after my cats, I’m just not holding my breath for when it will actually happen.

The Polyjesters are almost finished their new CD!!! How excited am I? I can’t even put it into words. Jason has sent me the (possible) CD cover artwork, and it’s awesome. So I released the song titles to their Facebook group. Then, because of some help I gave him last week, he sent me two of the newly recorded songs. OMG. I also have 6 other very rough mixes of new songs on the CD and one that didn’t make the cut. Are you jealous? Yes, you are. OMG. I am soooo excited!!! It’s going to be so, so, so, so, so, so good!! Jason said Emma and I will get special seating and attention at their CD release. I think they should fly Emma out, no? And I requested my special chair be of the La-Z-Boy electronic lift variety.

***then my blog was down***

Continued October 24 ~

Obviously, it’s too late for y’all to see Rob, that was this past Saturday. And I’ve since sold another lot of items on eBay, will be shipping today or tomorrow. I’ve currently got a bunch of CDs up for sale… I’m cleaning stuff out!

I am anxiously awaiting The Office Season Three DVDs I ordered. I have spent the past month watching every episode, deleted scenes, bloopers, commentary episodes, etc. on my Season Two DVDs. I can’t get enough of that show. My Dunder Mifflin T-shirt is in the mail, as are some Dwight and Jim office supplies memorabilia. ADDICTED.

So, cheers to Facebook… the amount of people I am back in touch with after many, many years is astounding!! I went for coffee a couple weeks ago with my friend Carolyn and we were joined by Nancy, a woman I haven’t seen since high school! There are quite a few other school friends I’m planning to meet up with sometime soon. And I’m back in touch with my old friend Cheryl, who used to live with my former roommate Pete. I haven’t seen her since they broke up many years ago (except for a quick run-into-eachother at a Crafts fair in 2002). She came out on Saturday to see Rob and Peter! So we are going to hang out more, for sure. And then, there is Vlado…. ahhhh, Vlado…. I used to work at YTV in Toronto about 20 years ago. He was a sound engineer there, and an incorrigible flirt. It’s so cool to be back in touch with him… he is very successful in his field and has a wall of Oscars and Emmys to prove it!

Update on the AH situation - we actually went to the Olive Garden for dinner last night! Imagine that. It was fun. I drank red wine. I could barely walk afterwards; my right foot didn’t want to go flat. It liked twisting on its side. Thank goodness AH understands and was very helpful walking me inside. TWO glasses is all I had! And with a full meal! I am such a cheap date.

AH is back to being his helpful self for me… today he’s popping in to a computer supply store to pick up an adapter cord I need. I finally have my new computer set up (thanks to Rob, who did it while he was here over the weekend) but since it only has USB ports, my old printer can’t be hooked up. And I’m not getting a new one… this one was $2,300 back in its day and it’s a laser printer/fax/copier/scanner and it has served me VERY well!!

Hey, remember awhile back I was complaining about the waiting times to see specialists your doctor refers you too? And that one place told me “June, 2008″ and another told me they couldn’t even estimate, it was so far off? Well, I went to the first place today and am going to the second one tomorrow. I’m quite pleased. I’m not 100% sure either of these places will be of great help to me, but I’m giving them a shot. It’s FREE under our health care, unlike the other stuff I’ve done, like Quantum Release Therapy. Which, by the way, I went to one last time (?) a couple weeks ago, after not having been in over two months. Kevin told me he really didn’t think he could do much more, and that my physical damage is so far gone (11+ years since diagnosis, never mind all the years before that the disease activity was going on) that he can’t predict how long it would take (whereas usually he can tell his clients “3 more visits” or something). We did make great progress on the emotional side of things. And I do feel better since I last saw him… but that could be due to any number of things. Anyway, it could quite possibly end up costing me thousands and thousands of dollars and many, many visits, which I’m not able to do right now, and he doesn’t want me to. So… I have a couple other options I’m working towards in regards to improving my health, and I may toss in the odd Quantum session here and there.

Today I went to the Clinic for Mind/Body medicine, and I am hopeful. My goal here is to decrease or completely wean off my anti-depressants and sleeping pills, and improve my health overall. I will be seeing a psychologist there regularly, who I met today, and she is awesome. She’s on the same page as me with regards to pharmaceutical companies and the “over-prescribed, overpriced” MS meds, and she didn’t even balk at my mention of my quantum release therapy and how it helped me… she was very interested! The clinic works with the belief that our bodies can heal themselves (what a concept!! And this is actually funded by the Calgary Health Region, and they don’t PUSH PHARMACEUTICALS!) and the process is done through meditation, lifestyle changes, positive thinking, etc. Of course, I believe that too, and have all the tools I need to put it all into practice… my problem is with being consistent in keeping up the with the small changes. I’m hoping regular meetings with this psychologist and being held accountable (reporting in with my progress regularly) will help me stick with my program. I’m seeing her again on the 5th. She really liked me, too, so that helps.

Remember when I was in Toronto and I bought those ginger-encrusted roasted pecans at the Queen of Tarts and how much they helped my PMS and I was wishing I had brought a supply back with me? Well, guess who has 6 bags in her cupboard now? Yes, they were willing to send them to me, I emailed and begged and a nice owner let me pay with my credit card over the phone and mailed them. Awesome. ONE bag a month, at the appropriate time, is all I am allowed.

One of my cats or both of them just chewed the speaker cord off one of my brand new computer speakers.

So, yes, I had an awesome weekend. My friend Kim came out from Red Deer on Friday, and we went out for dinner to My Favourite Vietnamese Restaurant, and then she got me hooked on what Starbuck’s calls a Misto, and Second Cup calls a London Fog. (Earl Grey tea, steamed milk, vanilla syrup). I’m making those at home now too, but with whatever tea I have around (currently, vanilla… yum!) and they are $1 cheaper than lattes! But I have not given up lattes, oh no, don’t worry.

Then I forced Kim to watch several episodes of The Office. Oh, oh, oh, AND, she bought me the greatest present ever… one of those little things you see in a store and immediately think of someone and start laughing, so you must buy it for them? Yeah. It’s a cell phone holder that is a tiny pink Croc shoe!!! I love it!! Hee

On Saturday, she helped me out by going to Wal-Mart and pushing a cart home with a case of water, cat litter, and cat food. (”I must really like you… I am going to Wal-Mart on a SATURDAY!” she said). We also ate in the food court, because that Smitty’s (the only restaurant in the mall) service and food sucks balls. So instead, we had food court Chinese food, which kinda sucks balls, too.

Ohhhhh, but then it was evening. We headed to the Ironwood for 6:00, and at 6:15 on the nose (as Rob had estimated they would be there around that time) the boys arrived. They set up, we had dinner, moved tables about 4 times, etc. etc. Around 9:30 Peter Katz hit the stage and proceeded to amaze the audience… it was the best show of his I have ever seen, I was blown away.

Just as Peter started playing, my friend Cheryl arrived, which was awesome… and so did Jay and his brother Marc. Add our new friend Spencer (a friend of Rob’s) and his girlfriend Sam, we had a very full and active table. Actually, the Ironwood was packed, and so many people were singing along with Rob’s songs that it was awesome… he has so many fans here now!! Yay! Both guys sold lots of CDs and made a lot of new friends and fans.

Rob played a fabulous set as well,

For the encore, BOTH Rob and Peter took the stage and sang a couple songs and it was amazing:

The video cut off early because my camera was being wonky, but if you look at my other You Tube videos, I have the end up there too

I had to post this photo because it’s not very often you see me standing beside such a hot, young, strapping, hot, young man. This is Rob’s friend Graham, who sings in a rock band, and I met him at Rob’s gig in April. We talked a lot. He actually does have a brain and a personality, but seriously, do we care?

(I’m kidding… Graham is a sweetie and he has a gorgeous girlfriend - duh - but since he is 14 years younger than me I am allowed to tease him like he’s a toy. I think). After the show, Kim took off to meet other friends, and everyone else went home, so I sat at a table and waited for the guys to load up their gear and talk with their new fans. Rob kept me supplied with coffee and Bailey’s. Around 2:00 a.m. me, Rob and Peter headed to a 24 hour restaurant for some food… it was LOUD in there, all those late night partiers. Oh, so rarely am I one of them! It was almost 3:30 a.m. when Peter dropped Rob and I off at my place (Peter has other friends here he stays with). It was pretty much straight to bed for us. (Me = bed, Rob = couch! Geez).

The next day, Sunday, we slept in and took our time getting dressed. Around 2:00 we went to the mall for food, and actually considered Smitty’s for a moment, but Rob’s memories are not fond of it from the last time he was in town, and no one was seating us anyway. So off to the food court we went. I’m such a faaaaabulous hostess to my overnight guests. (It’s not MY fault Rob doesn’t drink coffee and lattes!). I grabbed a London Fog on the way back. Then, Rob brought my new computer into my office and my old one out, and hooked everything up, and now I am flying on here. (Not my typing, just the other computer things that involve speed). Yay!

Dinner plans, after much discussion and phone calls, ended up with meeting Peter, Spencer and Sam at the Tandoori Hut for some Indian food. It was so so so so so good! Great food, wine, and people. Good times.

You can see all the pictures I took from the weekend in my Facebook public album.

So, that was my weekend. Peter picked Rob up around 3:00 Monday afternoon and then they were off to continue the rest of their Lanky Wimps Tour.

On Tuesday, I cropped and uploaded photos and video and fiddled with my new computer and didn’t get any work done. Today, is almost over and I didn’t get any work done. Here’s to tomorrow!

“I am living in a box, I am living in a cardboard box…”

“I am living in a box, I am living in a cardboard box…”

Oh…My…God. I love my cats.