Can You Hear Me Now?

A few things I discovered during my short Wellness retreat:

• It is very difficult to meditate with two cats who jump and walk all over you, rip up and down the hall, jump at the walls, jump on everything and knock stuff off, and generally make it impossible to lay still with your eyes closed;
• I need a larger supply of AA batteries for my CD player;
• The reason meditation courses, retreats, Ashrams, etc. make you get up at 4:30 a.m. is NOT so you are up when the sun rises, or “with God” or whatever… it’s so you can fit everything you’re supposed to be doing into that day. I made what I thought was a fairly simple list of what I’d be doing/listening to/watching/drinking/eating every day and it all takes a lot longer than you’d think!
• I need to change my thinking and speaking drastically and urgently.

I had to bail out a day early and I didn’t do any of the office de-cluttering (I found that just frustrated me more and the whole point of this was to be positive, quiet and meditative for a few days). I had left a message on my voice mail that said “if you’re calling about my home care or Sammons-Preston delivery, please leave a message, otherwise call back Wednesday” and yesterday morning I received 3 messages regarding home care. In order to take down the names/phone numbers I had to turn on my computer to type them out. Then I was on the phone making appointments and dealing with stuff, and I figured while I was here, I may as well email Sammons-Preston again and ask what the hell is going on and why they didn’t respond to my last email. Within seconds of hitting “send” they CALLED ME! Oh my God, actual customer service. I was told delivery had been attempted last week and that I had refused it. WTF??? So…. you don’t call me about that? They obviously attempted delivery to the wrong address. So she confirmed my address again and then I was on and off the phone with the freight company and had to leave my phone on because they’d be “calling before they delivered”. Of course, with my email client open, I retrieved my email, dealt with what I had to (work stuff), then it was off to check Facebook, and then it was all over.

I never did get my mat platform delivered yesterday, so this morning I called the freight office in Toronto to tell them I will be home all day today awaiting the delivery. The guy says “great! We’ll get it to you today for sure!”. I switched work to tomorrow instead, because this has been 2 months in the waiting and I’m not going anywhere until this mat platform is IN MY HOME. Then, the local freight office calls me (after I had already cancelled and re-booked my Access rides for tomorrow) to tell me there is some problem with overbooking deliveries and they can’t guarantee it will be here today, it will most likely be tomorrow. For FUCK SAKES. I have never had so many problems with incompetent service in my LIFE.

I got some great service last night, though, when I decided the “retreat” had obviously ended early. I needed some furniture moved around in my bedroom to make things easier for me, on the advice of the occupational therapist that was here last week. So I called Shawna to see if she could come by with a helper after work, and she showed up with both her parents who are in town visiting. They moved everything around in no time at all. Now I need the pole beside my bed moved over, so it’s beside my bed again, but that will have to wait until Monday when the pole installer guy is here to install another pole for me (I’ll need one beside my mat platform IF IT EVER GETS HERE).

Anyway, I need to do a lot of mental work. I have been watching You Can Heal Your Life every day, and crying crying crying like crazy. I first read Louise Hay’s book “You Can Heal Your Life” in 2003. I even reviewed it in an MS With Attitude newsletter back then. That was FIVE YEARS AGO. I’ve known this stuff for so many years. Meanwhile, I would give anything to go back to the state of health I was in 5 years ago, which was SO much better than today. I started MS With Attitude because I considered myself an example of how to LIVE with MS, and how to keep a positive outlook and attitude, and wanted to encourage/inspire others. I read the main page of that site now and realize I have become everything I feared. That I have become an “MS Pro” living with home care and equipment and therapists and wheelchairs and social workers and accessible housing and all the shit I never wanted to get into. And I know that it is all my fears and negative thinking and talking that made it this way. Even though I knew better. I KNEW BETTER!! And now here I am. I feel like such a failure. And that’s why I cry and cry and cry when I watch that DVD. On one hand, I have hope that I can turn it around. On the other, I’m so pissed off at myself for letting it get this bad. I’m not looking for sympathy or for you to say “oh Donna, don’t blame yourself, that’s too much” or whatever. I know and understand the Laws of the Universe. I also know I have been using them the wrong way, by accident of course. No one intentionally makes themselves sick. I am living proof that “you become what you think about, whether you want it or not”.

Many times I have stated right here that I’m not going to talk about MS on this blog anymore, (HA!), that I’m not going to focus on anything negative, and it’s not long before I renege on that promise. It’s even worse in my day-to-day life, the way I think and talk to myself. If I didn’t have my two adorable kitties to brighten my day, I swear there would be many days that not a positive thought would go through my brain. I’m the Queen of bitching out loud to myself and crying myself to sleep about everything I struggle to do each day.

I need to pull that book out again, dust it off, and actually DO THE WORK. Every single day!!!

Oh my God, I am so mean. I just changed a couple of photos that stupid people were hotlinking to from my blog, to this scary naked dude. One of the sites was using a photo I have here as the entire background to the Welcome page of their Chat room. And now everyone will be welcomed by Ugly Naked Guy. I CRACK MYSELF UP.

By the way, Ugly Naked Guy is a man that contacted me on Facebook once (and then I blocked him), and when I looked at his profile, there was only a photo album with 2 naked pictures of him. I laughed so hard I decided to save them to use just for this purpose. He is simply naked, standing over his underwear drawer, sorting tighty whiteys. And he is quite unattractive. If you want to see the picture, you’ll have to email me and ask for it, ’cause I’m not posting it here! Or you can hotlink one of my photos and wait for me to catch you and change it. Hehe. But please don’t.

My mom was here over the weekend. I barely recognize my apartment!! The clutter in the living room, dining room and kitchen is gone. The filing in my office is done. She did SO much to help me sort through crap I’ve been meaning to sort through for ages. But I put it off because it is easier with two hands and some of it involved standing for long periods of time. Last weekend my Stepdad put together my new CD stand, and finally, it is full. And the top of my hutch in the living room is not littered with stray CD and DVD cases and discs. YAY! It looks nice in here again, I actually want to live here.

Oh, update from last entry, my new friend is Sander, not Saunder. He requested me on Facebook so now I know for sure. He also has an 80mb audio file of the Polyjesters‘ show last Saturday which he’s letting me download as I type this. YAY I like new friends.

I am just crushed that Jeff Healey passed away. I only ever met him a couple times myself, briefly, but some good friends of mine have worked really closely with him over the years. So it was very sad news.

Back in December I ordered some tote bags off Make It Right. I finally received them today, exactly 3 months after I ordered them! At the time I ordered them, they didn’t have all the notices they have up now, about how the bags are hand made from the pink material used to showcase where the houses would be going (OMG maybe Brad Pitt touched them!!), and wouldn’t be available until after January 15, and that they’re not in mass production, etc. etc. I had no clue and actually ordered a couple for Christmas gifts!! Then they changed the site. So, Lisa, I have a pink bag for you. Happy belated birthday, even! And Kim, I know pink’s not your colour, but it’s for a good cause, and they don’t come in any other colour. Carry it proudly.

Today was our Provincial Election. I was out all day, as my appointments at the Clinic for Mind/Body Medicine take all day because of the way Access Calgary schedules things. So my day consisted of sitting in a car, sitting at my appointment, and sitting in a car. Long day. I was pretty beat by the time I got home (sitting in a car for well over an hour each way is draining! Especially when the driver is singing songs in Punjabi the entire time) but I still mustered up the energy to get my scooter out and go to the school a few blocks away and vote. My neighbour Richard was working at my polling station, handling all the voters from my apartment complex - about 750 people. He said I was only the 35th he’d seen ALL DAY. That means probably 700 people in my complex didn’t even bother voting! Ugh. Oh well, can’t blame them really, it seems this province will never change parties*, so why bother. PC stands for Political Corporation, not Progressive Conservative, as far as I’m concerned! Hee. Political Corporation. I just thought of that. Did I make it up? Political Corruption. Political Caca. Whatever. Can we get a Hillary over here?

*I’m writing this a couple hours before the election is over, so we don’t actually know yet, but based on the past 37 years it’s an educated guess.

Whoever wins, I hope they do something about AISH (Assured Income for the Severely Handicapped). I still don’t have my benefits for March, which were supposed to be deposited last Tuesday. When I called about it, I was told they couldn’t release my funds because I hadn’t “filed my annual report”. Well, I never received an annual report to file! “Oh, well, my clients are responsible for knowing their Diary Date and getting their reports in on time, I don’t call them if they are late”. Well, in the past 10 years, there was only one other time I didn’t receive the report, and I was called about it, sent another one, and filed it. Every other year, I just file it when I get it. I wasn’t even aware I had a “Diary Date”. And thanks for changing your rules without letting me know. So, she faxed me a report and I filled it out and mailed it (they won’t accept a fax back because they need your original signature). I was able to fax over attachments, however, such as my tax assessment and bank statements. So I did that. And this morning she wakes me up by calling with a million questions, and “fax me this, fax me that” because she doesn’t understand what self-employment means, and I’ve only been doing this for 10 FUCKING YEARS, BITCH! I am NOT ripping you off, but how in the hell do you expect someone to live off $1,050 AISH benefit when their rent is $1,000 and they’re not allowed to earn more than $400 a month before they are deducted benefits. So EXCUSE ME if I collect more than $400 a month, I have write-offs because I am self-employed, it is one of the great benefits of BEING self-employed on the AISH program. And I’ve been doing this for 10 FUCKING YEARS, so why don’t you just ask your boss and stop bugging me. Sigh.

Okay, so, the past 24 hours have kinda sucked.

It started yesterday afternoon when I went to Wal-Mart to pick up a few groceries. I usually use the self checkout, of which there are 4 stands. One line-up, and you just wait for the next available checkout stand. So I was ringing my things through and almost finished, when I hear the woman next in line say “excuse me ma’am, you have to go to the back of the line, it’s all one line - you don’t stand behind a specific till.” I looked over and saw the woman she was talking to. She yelled “who the hell are YOU?! You can’t tell me what to do!!” and the woman behind me got defensive and said “get to the back of the line! You can’t butt ahead, you’re no one special” and the other one said “and YOU ARE?? And YOU ARE?? Who are YOU??!!?” I then piped up and told the woman behind me I was almost done, and to come on over… and told the troublemaker “she’s right, you know, it’s one line and you need to go to the back,” to which she responded “SHUT YOUR FUCKING WHITE-ASS MOUTH, BITCH!! YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!” I was done bagging my stuff so I just scootered right on out of there. It was only when I was half-way down the mall that I remembered I had used the “cash back” feature on the debit machine and requested $40. In all the commotion I totally forgot my money!! I raced back there, but too late. The cash was gone from the slot, and the woman who used the till after me was nowhere to be seen.

ARGH!!!

Today I slept in. Yeah, so, no big deal, just had a hair appointment at 1:00. So after I got dressed for that I checked my email and eBay stuff. I had left negative feedback for a woman last night who WAY overcharged me for shipping (I don’t normally care too much, because we’re not only paying the cost to ship, but for their time and materials and stuff, so a few bucks more is no biggie). But $10 over was too much, plus she advertised her Crocs as BRAND NEW and what I received had obviously been worn. Anyway, I left negative feedback so of course she left me negative feedback, saying “watch out for Canadians!! Refund offered and still left negative. Not nice.” and rebuffed my negative feedback by saying she offered a refund. SO not true. I had emailed her before I left the feedback and all I got back from her was a rude email, telling me I’m “too picky”.

So my day started out with me in a bad mood. And you know what they say in The Secret and all that, we create our world with our thoughts, and if you’re in a bitchy mood to begin your day, things just spiral. So 20 minutes before I needed to leave for my hair appointment, I lost my balance and fell backwards on my ass. Scraped my hand pretty bad:

There is a lovely bump and bruise forming there and it hurts like hell to touch!

but I think that’s all. It just shook me up. I didn’t really have time to regain my composure when I managed to get myself up; I wiped the tears from my eyes and got on my scooter to leave. I backed it up, and the walker carrier on the back of my scooter attached itself to my TV stand and DRAGGED MY TV ACROSS THE ROOM. I’ve been soooo careful when backing up not to hit my TV since I got that walker carrier, it sticks out pretty far. But I guess I was too flustered today.

Hello there, you belong in the corner. You’re also supposed to be a 52″ flat screen.

So. Yes. Great day so far, huh?

Then I got my hair done, so let’s hope things turn around now, because I think that worked out well:

I think I’m attempting a “look down like a mysterious temptress” look. Ahem.

So anyway, a couple lattes and a voice mail message from my buddy Jason later, I’m feeling better. Tonight I’m going to watch a movie and go to bed early… and hope for a better day tomorrow!!

Pepper is SO going there.

“Mmmmm…. paper…..”

Boxy but Good

Grab a coffee! As previously warned, it’s a long one!

Topics for today:

1. Mountainview Music Festival
2. Hangin’ with Michelle
3. Lynda, my Childhood BFF
4. New Computer
5. Weight Loss Industry

1. Mountainview Music Festival

My friend Jay and his brother Marc picked me up around 3:00 to head out to Carstairs, about 45 minutes North of Calgary. Last year, this festival was a back yard party at Jason’s house. This year, it has grown into a big festival that all the surrounding towns are wanting to take place in their area next year! I was blown away by the size, and the number of people! (Probably around 850 - 1000?) The Polyjesters, their parents and a ton of volunteers had worked ’round the clock to get this thing off the ground. And was it ever worth it!! Rather than me go on and on about it, you can click these links and check out some great photos:

PDF file - Didsbury Review

PDF File - Didsbury Review pg. 2

Poster 1

Poster 2

Most of my day was spent hanging about the “backstage” area (where the beer was free hehe) and chatting with people while taking in the great live music. My friend Kim and her hubby were volunteers and had their motor home parked there, so I spent some time in there where Kim fed me lunch and gave me coffee. Woo hoo! I have awesome friends.

It was a beautiful day

Sponsorship is a very good thing.

One of the fun highlights of the Festival was the appearance by Randy and Mr. Lahey (Patrick Roach and John Dunsworth) from the Trailer Park Boys. I had to laugh because my friend Kim was chosen to drive them to their hotel the night before from a show they did in another town, and pick them up from the hotel and bring them to the Festival. The TPB designated driver (and she doesn’t even watch the show).

Mr. Lahey chats backstage

Mr. Lahey dances with a couple celebrating their anniversary

Randy is served a LARGE cheeseburger made special, just for him. His character on the show was once a male prostitute to fund his cheeseburger habit, FYI.

Read the rest of this entry �

Monday night I went to the premiere of “A Mighty Heart” with AH. I think he was the wrong person to take. Let’s face it, he’s a Middle Eastern Arab Muslim. No matter how hot ‘n sexy he is, or kind and helpful he has been to me over the years, added to the fact that he has lived most of his life here in Canada, does not change that… his attitudes are quite different from mine. So when I come out of a movie like that, I’m horrified by what happened to Danny Pearl. When AH comes out of a movie like that, he says “what goes around, comes around.” WTF???

It’s common knowledge that many Muslims (and probably others) believe that “The Jews are responsible for 9/11″. There is this (bullshit rumour, IMO) that “4,000 Jews didn’t show up for work at the World Trade Centre that day because they were warned in advance…” Oh, PLEASE. There were 400-500 Jews killed at the WTC that day, (although the list of those killed does not include their religion, it’s pretty obvious when you see names like Steinman, Berger, Rosenberg, Bernstein, Horwitz, Weinstein, etc.) And are you going to tell me that not ONE of those 4,000 supposedly warned wouldn’t then call their buddies from work, or police, or SOMEONE to advise them of what they’ve been told? Not one in 4,000 is a decent person? Gimme a break.

AH falls into the category of those that believe “the Jews are responsible for 9/11″. That’s like me saying “The Muslims are responsible”. And I would never say that, because I know not all Muslims are bad people. I could say “Al-Qaeda is responsible” just like AH could say “The Israeli government is responsible” if that’s what he wants to believe. Don’t say “Jews” are. Daniel Pearl had NOTHING to do with it, or anything else Israel may be blamed for. He was Jewish by being born into a Jewish family. He was an American. He did not practice his faith religiously, if he did he would have married a nice Jewish girl, not a Cuban. He was a journalist for the Wall Street Journal, looking for answers and truth. He offered his articles to be read by anyone he was going to interview, so they could see what he was writing about, and what his angle was. Daniel Pearl was in love with his wife who was 5-1/2 months pregnant at the time of his death, and he did NOT deserve to die!!!

My biggest problem with arguing about these things with AH, is that I am quite ignorant in the world of politics and the happenings over in the Middle East. AH is not; he grew up in Lebanon surrounded by wars and has lived and breathed it. He has his reasons for hating Israel and I won’t deny that anyone from Lebanon would, knowing a little of that history. He has an intellectual sounding comeback for every argument I put out there because he is far more knowledgeable about world politics and media than I am. For example, when I said “Osama Bin Laden came right out and admitted he is responsible for 9/11!” AH came back with “the media were delivered a tape from Al-Jazeera and they didn’t air it for over a week… because they wanted to edit it to their liking. Don’t you think if it was the real thing, they would have aired it within minutes of receiving it?” And to that I have no answer, because I have no clue whether or not what AH says is true. Because I don’t keep on top of this stuff like he does. Alls I know is, the media has been so ACCURATE and open-minded in its reporting, and George Bush has been so honest about the Whats and Whys.

(That was sarcasm, BTW).

When AH said “well, he wouldn’t have died if he didn’t deserve it. He did something. Good people don’t just get killed for no reason…” I responded with “tell me, again, how your brother died?” (He was killed by two men in Lebanon many years ago). He didn’t say anything after that, point taken.

In closing, I don’t believe “Jews are responsible” and I think generalizing “Jews” into a category like that in the first place is bullshit. Are all “Germans” responsible for what Hitler did? Please. (In all fairness, however, as a friend of mine studying the Middle East at this very moment just pointed out to me, “many people from the Middle East are not necessarily disagreeing or attacking the specific issue - but are putting it in a much wider historical context which does not generally translate well to North American ears…” and that he may not have meant exactly what he said). But still. I don’t like some of the stuff he said, and he clarified it enough that I know he meant what he said.

I rolled all my coins this past weekend. $350!! Not too bad, considering I only started saving the loonies and toonies last September (and have grabbed the odd one out of the vase here and there). It is going right on my credit card to start paying down my trip, and thus another item is crossed off my 101 list. While rolling the coins, I happened across a 1945 dime that is worth about $10.00 and a penny worth about $4.00. Woo hoo!

I’ve been doing some reading lately of websites that have to do with fat acceptance. It is really quite interesting. I’d like to think it’s a bit of a “movement” happening… not a Pro “Eating-whatever-the-hell-you-want-until-you-can’t-get-out-of-your-own-bed” fat acceptance movement, but to accept the fact that some people eat healthy and exercise and will never be thin. That trying to be model-thin is unrealistic for many people no matter how hard they try, and try they do, with diets and creating eating disorders and driving themselves crazy stepping on that damn scale 100 times/day and hating themselves for not looking like Kate Moss. Sites like Big Fat Deal, that I have been reading for awhile now, which led me to the now famous Fat Rant by Joy Nash, and the WONDERFUL, awesome and brilliant Kate Harding. And let’s hear a rousing roar of applause for Mika’s latest single:

That line “no need to fantasize since I was in my braces”? This guy makes that pretty clear. Excellent read, and I thank you, dear Brian, and all the above links, for helping me get closer to the acceptance of myself, and no more diets for me. I know I need to work on the eating healthier overall and regular exercise to just see where my body ends up, but it’s nice to know I’m “allowed” to feel sexy at any size.

Okay, I linked to so much stuff you’ll be reading all night now, so I shall sign off.

I popped in here today thinking I was going to be opening a post I had started working on and adding to it. But, no, it’s totally blank. I wish I could say the same about my “to do” list.

My office? Still a mess. The floor is scattered with all the work I’ve been doing lately and need to file away. My own tax return is 80% finished, and all my papers are in a pile in front of my fax machine. My desk is covered in more work I need to do, the beginnings of my 2007 files I have yet to put away, and various other papers I need to file. Plus a coffee mug, a water bottle, my Starbucks take out cup, CDs, my South Park “Kyle” doll Pepper knocked off the top shelf, everything else Pita or Pepper has knocked off the shelves, my digital camera, and books. On the positive side, AH picked me up some file boxes the other day, so at least I have those for when I am ready to store my old files and tax returns. Of which there are plenty in my over-stuffed filing cabinet.

I SWEAR I’m going to get it done this week. Did I already “swear” to that recently? I believe I did. I can’t even keep a promise I make to myself, never mind you guys. That is why I am so frustrated with myself lately. I’m pissed off at myself all the time for not doing what I say I’m going to do, and then I get pissed off at myself for being hard on myself, then I think I’m such a loser, then I tell myself to “baby step” it, and then I get tired and want a fucking MAGIC WAND to take care of everything so I can just crawl under a rock until it’s done, or better yet, the same Rehab place Britney Spears is in, and come out and find sunshine and happiness, and then I kick myself in the butt because that’s not how life works and I need to TAKE ACTION for anything to get done and to have the life I want, and then I get depressed because I don’t have the drive in me right now, and then I tell myself to “baby step” it, and then I say “fuck it” and eat chocolate and toss everything on the floor, and then I meditate and say positive affimations and re-start my gratitude journal, and I tell myself “I’m trying”, and then Oprah says “trying is failing gracefully”, and Yoda says “do, or do not: there is no try”, so that’s not good enough, and then I think tomorrow will be better, and then it isn’t, and there is STILL NO @#^$%^#% MAGIC WAND in sight.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

So let us focus on the good parts of the past few days, shall we?

• I am back in touch with an old friend that I haven’t seen or talked to in about 14 years. She found me on MySpace. She lives in South Korea right now!
• Lindy called me on Wednesday night from Toronto, and was all excited about seeing the Polyjesters the following night. I introduced them to each other’s music and there is a whole helluva lot of mutual admiration going on there. And when they see each other, they talk about how much they love and miss me. Hee!
• Rob called me from Toronto the other day as well, and Shawna from Winnipeg, so there is no shortage of friends calling long distance;
• I talked to Emma on Thursday night;
• My dear friend/client Ken took me to My Favourite Vietnamese Restaurant for lunch on Friday;
• I mentioned to AH that I needed some file storage boxes, and without me even asking he stopped at Staples on the way home from work and picked up a package of 5 for me, and refused to take any money for them when he dropped them off later;
• I ordered AH this shirt for his birthday:

• My mom did my laundry and changed my bed sheets;
• I have an appointment for an ion cleanse on Tuesday;
• I have a few things planned in May that I’m not ready to talk about yet, but am very excited about.

Okay, fine, so life isn’t totally sucking. I’ve got some damn fine people in it.

I’ve got a busy week. Work at the Pub tomorrow, the ion cleanse appointment on Tuesday, work at Troy’s on Wednesday, and I re-start my Living Well with a Chronic Illness program on Thursday. In between all of that I need to do the million things I just don’t want to think about right now. It’s Sunday! The day of rest, right?

“The Day of Rest can begin AFTER you rub my tummy”.

Yes, I stretched this morning, for all of 7 minutes. Standing up, holding my walker, because I can’t get up off the floor yet without a MAJOR struggle. But if my past attempts tell me anything, it is that even 5 minutes a day will make a big difference in the long run. When I can get up off the floor, that will be a sign that I am improving and it’s back to the water workouts for me. I’m shooting for May…. after the busy work season, and after I’ve given therapy a good chance (which will free up time for going to the pool!). I’ve gone 3 times and I still don’t know why, all I do is talk about stuff I always talk about, on here or to any of my friends. However, I did say I would give it a few months and see how it goes… there may be subtle changes that occur. I think it takes many visits with a therapist before they really get to know me and see through whatever wall I’m holding up that I don’t even realize I am. So far she has said that I am very open and self-aware and I think even she wonders why I’m there.

When I went yesterday, I had a driver I last saw in March. It took me a few minutes to realize who he was, but when he was putting my walker in the back he was singing in Arabic. Then it hit me - “are you Abdul?” “Yes, yes, I am” “You gave me a copy of the Qur’an awhile ago”. Ahh, yes it all came back to him, too. He asked me how I liked it. I told him it was a hard read and it didn’t tell me what I really wanted to know about Islam (the beliefs, in layman’s terms, and stories about Muhammed’s life and what he was like, for example), so I have another book to read about it (no, I haven’t finished reading that one yet either, and it’s back on my shelf with all the other books I have yet to read). He said “that is why I put my number in there! You call me, anytime, 24 hours a day if you have any questions about the beautiful Qur’an. Everything you need to know about anything is in there. Everything!” He went on to say that Muslims don’t want to push their religion on anybody, but “we want everyone to know about Islam. We want everyone to join us in Paradise! On judgement day, it is either the fiery gates of Hell, or Paradise. We want everyone to know about Islam so they can believe in Allah and go to Paradise.” I told him… “everyone does know about Islam; the terrorists have made sure of that.” Heh

Oh, I brought up a line in a passage in the Qur’an that gives “beat her lightly” as the last of 3 steps you take when your wife is “disobedient”. AHEM. His response:

“Oh, it is only in an extreme case, if your wife is unfaithful. First you talk to her and ask her to stop the behaviour. You do everything you can to work it out and make her stop. If she continues, then the ‘beat her lightly’ is actually how you would hit someone if you had a loaf of bread under your arm and didn’t want it to drop… you can’t hit very hard that way. It’s not a beating. And it is more of a public humiliation, because then you will divorce her if she doesn’t change her behaviour. And we all know, the man wins in the divorce. He can go on and find a younger woman and start over… a man can be 90 and still be a man, he can pick a girl up off the street for $100 and still do his thing. Women can’t do that.”

OH.MY.GOD.

Sure, okay, if that is your definition of a MAN! It’s not mine. And, excuse me, the woman is the one having the affair? She’s moving on to her younger man, and taking your money with her. Ha!

Anyway, I held in my desire to freak out all over him in ways he has never heard a Lady speak. I kept it all inside because we were at our destination and I was being set free. I didn’t want to argue with him and his beliefs. I just vented to AH later when I saw him instead. Hehe! He’s more modern in his thinking than Abdul, although there are certainly areas where we disagree when it comes to men and women and marriage.

I’m becoming less and less interested in learning about Islam. It was a curiosity at first, but I hear such conflicting views everywhere I look for information, it’s almost useless. People can twist every verse of the Qur’an to suit their own need. For example, the line “Beat her lightly” (which is from a verse in ‘The Women’ that states “As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, and last, beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, do not seek against them means (of annoyance”) gives some believers permission to beat their wives when they ‘disobey’. Others (like AH), interpret that to mean it’s the last straw, and divorce is the final option. To be on the safe side, I’m interpreting it to mean “I will not be dating any Muslims in my future”.

I see/talk to so many muslims on a daily basis (AH and Access drivers mostly, plus many live in my building and shop/work in ‘my’ mall), that I started wanting to learn about Islam because of my own ignorance about it. I’ll just read that one book I’ve got on the origins and future of Islam and call it a day.

I think I have spent enough time talking about Islam today. Let’s bitch about something else, shall we?

Like the other day in the post office, I needed to send a package Express Post. I always make a point of printing very clearly marked address labels on my packages, but with Express Post you still need to fill out a to/from waybill. I kindly asked the postal clerk if she would mind doing that for me, because I have “lost the use of my right hand and am unable to write more than my signature on a good day…” As she huffily began filling out the waybill, she asked me WHY I haven’t learned to write with my left hand yet and when exactly I planned to. #$^&$%#$@%

Oh, and tonight on my way home from my little camera lesson there was a car blocking the sidewalk. I was on my scooter and saw someone was in the passenger seat, so I tapped the window and asked him if he was able to move the car so I could get by? He apologized and got out to go to the driver side. PEOPLE, seriously, do NOT block sidewalk entrances and ramps with your vehicles, ever, okay?? Please and thank you.

I watched a few minutes of what used to be my favourite Soap, Days of our Lives, today (I still pop into it once in awhile… 15 years ago I never missed a second of it. Marlena has not aged a day in that time). Baby Claire has been taken (again? I think?) When she comes back in the next few months, I bet she’ll be 8 years old. Then in another month she will be 16. And then she’ll be dating, and then she’ll get married and have her own baby, and all the while her mother will still be 22. (But seriously? Marlena? What is your secret, or who is your surgeon?)

I’m still learning the ins and outs of my camera. I need to get that “zoom” feature down.

No, I did not flip that upside down, Pepper was looking at me from that angle.

Pita has those sad green eyes.

I sat here, trying to think of a title for this post for about half an hour. Seriously not worth it.