Can You Hear Me Now?

I went to the mall today, hunting down organic skin care products. I’d like to eventually wean all my body wash, lotions, shampoo, conditoner, facial care, etc. over to organic/crap free brands. Any suggestions are welcome here! Wal-mart carries a lot of the JASON brand, so I’m going to try some, except the deodorants (I already know those don’t work). I couldn’t find a body wash, though. I bought one bottle of body lotion from Nature’s Gate and a Jason face creme, but no luck with body wash. Shoppers Drug Mart carries some Healing Garden, but not the Organics line. The saleslady kept trying to talk me into all these products that have words like “botanics” and “natural” on the label, so I explained to her that PACKAGING LIES and is very misleading, just read the ingredients. Just because something contains “natural aloe vera” does not mean it doesn’t contain 10,000 other ingredients that are bad for you. “So, how about Aveeno?” she says. Sigh.

So yes, I am slowly leaning into changing everything in my home and body to environmentally friendly and organic products. I still have lots of regular shampoo and conditioner to go through before changing, but I can start bringing in toothpaste, body wash, shower gels, body lotions and stuff. I still like my mud soap from New Zealand and don’t think there is anything so horrible in there that I need to stop using it. But I’ll email the company for an ingredient list, anyway.

So I came home from the mall, and started Googling organic skin care products, and was thinking I’d just order some online, when my mom and Bob dropped by. I told my mom what I was hunting for, and she said, “what about the health food store in the mall? Wouldn’t they have skin care?” Oh my GOD, I had totally forgotten about the Sangster’s in the mall. They’re tucked away, and don’t have much in the way of health food (mostly vitamins and supplements I don’t use from there), but they would certainly have skin, hair and body care! So I made a trip back over to the mall later, and sure enough, there was a huge wall of products. The entire line of Jason products, Nature’s Gate, and tons of other ones. I bought some body wash, and asked the saleslady to tell me honestly if any of the deodorants actually work. She agreed that Jason’s is no good, and suggested Green Beaver. So, tomorrow I’ll be taking another shot at a natural deodorant, and I’ll let you know how it works. If you know of a good one, let me in on it!

On Tuesday, I made a very major purchase. Visa raised my limit again as they tend to every year, and rather than say “oh cool, I can go to Toronto now!” I decided vacations can wait, and this is more important. It is going to change my life, and my home decor, as I know it. I currently have a dining area off my living room, with a table and 4 chairs (and it’s the cat food area). I’m getting rid of that, donating the table and chairs to my brother who has been coveting them for months (since he moved into his new apartment and decided my dining set would be perfect). The empty area will now be filled with a therapy/rehab mat table… just like the ones I have seen in every physiotherapy centre I have ever been to (and there have been many!) They cost a lot more than I thought they would, and tack on several hundred dollars for freight, I’m looking at $1,100 I don’t have. But I did a lot of searching and calling around before I settled on using the supplier all the hospitals in the city use. To order from the US would have cost even more (I could find cheaper tables, but the shipping, broker, customs fees etc. would have added up to a lot more). I have been thinking for awhile that I need to buy some sort of exercise machine that I can actually use, but I didn’t know what… a treadmill? I can barely walk (and certainly not at an even pace). An exercise bike? My right foot won’t stay on a pedal. The Nu-Step and Wave machines are thousands of dollars. I’ve always had the best of luck with strength exercises and stretching, which I really need to be doing daily, and I love floor exercises, but I’m unable to get on the floor unless I fall haha (and certainly not back up!) I gave up the exercises the physiotherapist showed me and my home care worker to do from my bed, because a) my home care worker is unable to help me properly because she’s too small, doesn’t understand english, is limited in the area of basic common sense, and ended up hurting me more than helping, and b) because my bed is way too comfortable for exercise, all that memory foamed goose-down duvet comfort. So I decided on this raised mat table thingy, as I think it will be perfect. I can do tummy and butt crunches and all the exercises many therapists have shown me over the years, that I haven’t been able to do because I didn’t have the proper set-up. I’m also getting a wedge pillow for under my knees to help with leg lift exercises. I’ve got it all planned out! This is long overdue; I have lost so much mobility over the years, I sincerely hope this helps me get some back.

Next purchase, a Chi Machine, which I’ve been wanting for years! I will finally have a firm place to lie down and use it, so I’m going to get myself one.

All in all, I do spend more (errr… charge up my credit card more) when I take my annual trips to Toronto and/or Montreal (because I need to pay for an accessible hotel room as well as airfare, all my friends have stairs and/or unsuitable bathrooms in their *normal* homes) so I’m going to justify my spending that way! It’s for a very good cause, called ME. And, maybe by this time next year I’ll be in good enough shape to impose on friends in Toronto without worrying about the bathroom set-up!

Last on the health-related front, is the Cleanse. I guess you could say I’m weaning off of it. I started up coffee again on Monday (not a lot, and if I have a latte, it’s a plain soy one - no sugary syrups!) and the past couple of days I’ve been introducing some other foods back. One thing I’ve noticed for sure, is that my body does not like dairy products. And I want to keep sugar far away anyway, so until further notice you can consider me a vegetarian who avoids eggs, dairy, and sugar. I’m not going to cut them out completely (i.e. I won’t worry about the bit of dairy, sugar or eggs in the bun that comes with my veggie burger, and I’ll certainly have DQ soft serve and smelly cheeses again) but I’m going to continue ordering my organic groceries, making healthier choices and avoiding processed food as much as possible. The thought of eating meat stresses me out at the moment and makes me a little sick to my stomach, so I’ll leave it at that for now.

P.S. A veggie burrito with no cheese or sour cream from Taco Time is an excellent fast food option for me when I’m in a pinch. Yum!

The best part about looking up from my desk while working.

I got my hair cut and coloured today. I wasn’t going to get it coloured, but when I told my hairdresser that I was just going to buy a box and do it myself because I can’t afford it right now, she gave me a deal I couldn’t pass up. “If you colour it yourself you’ll just mess up”. Thanks for the vote of confidence!! I’ve coloured my own hair a million times before, thankyouverymuch!! Yes, it’s harder with just one hand, but that’s what mothers and girlfriends are for. She told me my roots are a lot darker than when she first met me; a sign that my natural hair colour is, indeed, a lot darker than I want to admit. A part of me wanted to get it coloured a dark blonde and then just let the natural colour grow in so I can see what it is, but I changed my mind when she said she saw grey. I have never seen a grey hair on my head before, and I’d like to keep it that way for awhile.

Last night AND the night before, Shawna and I went out for dinner to a 100% gluten free restaurant called A Tasty Menu, that also has vegan/dairy free versions of their breads and some meals. On Wednesday I had a grilled veggie sandwich with sweet potato fries (YUM), and last night I had PIZZA!! Green peppers and pineapple on a super thin GF/DF crust with soy cheese… it was soooo good! It’s pretty exciting for Shawna to know she can go to this restaurant and order anything off the menu and not get sick, and I’m thrilled to be able to eat out during this cleanse. I’m going to drag my dad there this weekend, methinks.

So I actually clicked on an ad in Facebook the other day. It was for a local pet grooming business. I emailed the manager, Amanda, and asked her if she does or knows anyone who provides mobile pet grooming, and could come by and trim my cat’s claws. She wrote back that she’s not a mobile service, but she does live close to me, and could swing by after work one day and do it. So she came by today. It didn’t take nearly as long as I thought it might, considering my kitties don’t like to be man-handled a lot. But she’s a pro. Pepper took it like a big girl, curled up in her arms and it only took a few seconds to do all 4 paws, she didn’t flinch once! Pita, on the other hand, squirmed and whined and made noises I’d never heard her make before. The second it was over, she raced off, then came right back and jumped up on Amanda’s lap to be pet and cuddled. No fear, there. She also ran into my bedroom to watch as Amanda did Pepper (who was asleep in my room as usual) because she always has to be where the people are and the action is. After Amanda left, both kitties took turns hanging out on my lap, and it was absolute heaven for me when they did their usual kneading on me, to not get poked by sharp claws. Ahhhh!

Since I started this cleanse a week ago, I haven’t been to the mall for a latte or food of any kind, nor have I ordered anything in. So I guess that makes up for the extra money I am spending on organic food. SPUD now carries organic cat food too, so I’m slowly weaning my cats onto it. I hope they like it. So far, their litter boxes have been a lot easier to clean because they don’t go as much! Oh, and for myself, I discovered these spritzers that are sweetened with fruit juice only, no sugar-sugar or artificial sweeteners, so that is a nice break from water water water.

Over the past week, to keep my spirits up and make me laugh, I have been watching my seasons two and three DVDs of The Office. I even downloaded the Dunder Mifflin desktop wallpaper I kept seeing on their computers. And, although I laughed my ass off (and I’ve seen all the episodes several times before), as predicted, I cried after the last scene of the last episode of season 3 (#8 in that Top 10). Gets me every time. Damn you, Jim and Pam!

Other than that, and a few other little outbursts, the crying is starting to subside. I think I have almost successfully completed my withdrawal from Paxil. What great fun this has been! I’m still not sure what my new *normal* is, that may take awhile yet. But the worst is definitely over.

I haven’t taken any photos in ages, so I leave this entry photo-less until another day. Ciao!

So, it’s pretty obvious I’m back to weaning off my anti-depressants some more. How can you tell? Well, aside from the various mood swings I’m having and being easily prone to anger and bitchiness, last night I watched “Enchanted“. And I CRIED and CRIED. Many, many times throughout the movie, for reasons ranging from joy and happiness and fluffiness to self pity and “I don’t even know why”. ENCHANTED! Gimme a F-ing break. (I think this means I enjoyed the movie a LOT more than I want to admit).

For the record, I’m almost down to 5mg/day from the 40mg/day I was taking. I can’t wait until this is over, I really hate this whole weaning thing. It’s hard!!

Oh, and Friday night I watched 27 Dresses and developed a bit of a crush on James Marsden, so ask me how thrilled I was to see him as the Prince in Enchanted? Hee.

And speaking of being easily angered, I had an experience last Saturday that just SET.ME.OFF. (Warning: F-bombs a-plenty coming up). I was on my scooter in Wal-Mart, minding my own business when this (40-ish year old) woman walked past me. I heard her mumble under her breath something about my weight and “get up and walk”. At first I ignored it, but then, no, I couldn’t just let it go, and turned my scooter around to go find her. She was looking at clothes. I rode up to her and asked “WHAT did you say to me??” She looked shocked that I’d come after her, but then she said “get up and walk, you might lose some of that weight” and turned to take off. OHHHHHH MY MOTHER OF GOD. I was seething. I sharply turned my scooter around with the intent to chase her down and, oh, I dunno, run her over/break her neck/cut her in half/give her a piece of my FUCKING mind (I’m not sure what I was going to do, I just knew I wasn’t about to let her get away with that shit) when my front wheel hit the base of a clothing rack and my scooter toppled right over on me. Owieeee! I was on the floor with my scooter on top of me. Luckily, about 5 people ran over to help, including a couple very strong men who got me up off the floor without any trouble. Surprisingly, I wasn’t crying. I thanked everyone and assured them I was fine and carried on with my shopping. It wasn’t until I was on my way home and stopped at Second Cup to get a latte that I started blubbering like a fool. Poor barista, she had no clue what had just happened. I made it home, parked my scooter, fell into my chair all bruised and broken-spirited and bawled and bawled.

I was SO ANGRY. So mad at that fucking woman and her stupid ignorance and need to speak her judgments of me out loud. I COULD NOT BELIEVE someone could be that cruel and ignorant. I mean, even if my weight was the reason I was on a scooter, that does not excuse what she said. She has no fucking clue about me or my medical history or anything, she had NO RIGHT and I trust Ms. Karma kicked her in the ass later that same day. I hope she found out her boyfriend is sleeping around on her and gave her AIDS. I honestly do. I don’t care if she dropped dead 5 minutes later, in fact, I wish it on her to this day. I know it’s a waste of my own energy to still be angry at her, but even as I write this the tears well up and I am just seething with anger. Fucking bitch.

Anyway, this (second) scooter toppling accident has led me to look into getting a 4 wheeler that is more stable!! I have an OT coming by on Tuesday to assess me and my scooter and if my apartment can handle a 4 wheeler getting in and out. My neighbour (the guy who also has MS) has one, so I don’t think it should be a problem in here. He said he wants to “see me drive it around”. I’m not normally setting off to chase down stupid bitches, so he won’t witness reckless driving, but even on my best days I don’t feel completely safe on that thing. I always feel like it could topple over at any time and I’m VERY careful over bumps and cracks on the sidewalks.

I’m reading a really good book right now, Quantum Wellness by Kathy Freston. I never did finish A New Earth, I barely started it to be honest. I’ll get around to it one day. But Quantum Wellness excited me when I saw the author on Oprah, and then on Ellen. She is SO freaking beautiful, she just radiates light and health and wellness and positive energy. She makes you want what she has!! I won’t be going Vegan anytime soon, but her discussions about “conscious eating” really hit me. It may be, as my friend Jason called me, “airy fairy”, but I AM airy fairy about stuff like this. I totally believe everything is energy and we take in energy, put out energy, and attract to ourselves that which is in line with our own energy. You know that about me if you’ve read any of this blog! Anyway, when it comes to food, we also take in THAT energy. The energy of the food… where it came from, how it got to our plate, how the animal was cared for and killed, the energy of the person packaging up the food, the energy of the corporatrion behind creating the food… etc. etc. It was like… a lightbulb moment for me!! I had never thought about it that way before. That when I eat crappy processed/fast food, I am not only ingesting crap which will make my body feel/look like crap, I am ingesting the negative energy associated with that food. Airy-fairy as it may be, I believe it!! If you’ve watched Super Size Me or Fast Food Nation you know how those fast food corporations and their money-hungry executives care more about their bottom line than they do our health (or our bottoms). And all those big processed food companies; from the evil suits at the top of the corporate ladder to the underpaid, stressed out person working the assembly line, we take in alllll that energy. So, for the past couple weeks I’ve been back to ordering groceries from SPUD (a GREAT little company with great people and good energy!) and switching to organic food when possible. It’s not like I will never eat fast food again, but I have certainly become more conscious of it in a very different way than I had before. Thinking of it in a physical health way was never enough to scare me away from it, as much as it should have been, but switch my thinking to how it affects my spiritual health, and you got me! I still need the convenience, though, so my freezer is full of Amy’s Organics (family business!) and my new favourite sweet snack is lemon yogurt with fresh bluberries and organic muesli

I’ve even switched to organic coffee from Cochrane Coffee Traders. (They’re so small they don’t even have a website. But they are a very socially and environmentally conscious company).

Catching some rays

Can’t…handle…the…cute!!

CAN’T HANDLE IT!!!

Cats in Sinks better not reject this face.

Today, because my vision has not improved (still seeing double - doctors are so helpful when it comes to shit like this, you know? “Well, you have MS” *shoulder shrug* In other words, learn to live with it) and I’ve been feeling rather down about the whole thing, I decided to spend today doing ONLY things that make me happy. That means drinking lattes, reading a good book (with one eye closed… I do need to be grateful that my left eye is normal), listening to music, going to the mall… and you know, making a decision to be happy today brought happiness back to me TENFOLD! When I opened my mailbox, inside was an envelope from “Cooking For You“. I thought… it looks like a Christmas card… I’ve been to their website a few times (drooling and dreaming) but I’m positive I never left any personal information… hmmmm. I open it, and it is… drumroll please… a $350 gift certificate!!! A combined gift from 7 amazing woman, including my good friends Kim and Carolyn, as well as a few woman I haven’t even seen since HIGH SCHOOL, and a couple that I just met up with for coffee recently after not having seen them since HIGH SCHOOL. I guess you could say it was the work of Facebook Elves. Un-fricking-believable. Nancy masterminded the plan, and what a genius plan it was, because that is about the best gift I could ever receive (besides a live-in personal chef… so keep that in mind for next year). Thank you Nancy, Carolyn, Michelle, Stephanie, Lise, Paula and Kim… y’all ROCK.

Earlier, before all the excitement in my mailbox, I went out to the mall. I wanted a) a latte I didn’t have to make myself, and b) to take pictures. I enjoyed putting together my last entry for Dietgirl’s Scavenger Hunt, but I didn’t take any of those pictures myself. Today I thought I’d hit the mall and see if I could fill the requirements of the hunt over there! Here are the results:

I’m actually expecting my friends Jason and Sheldon to drop by for a bit this afternoon. I may make them pose for Scavenger Hunt photos and create another set, because it’s fun. Jason does a GREAT Elvis impersonation. And this day is all about making me happy! So they must do as I say.

Pay It Forward update:

Pictures of the things I have ordered and am waiting to arrive are on Flickr, right here. Not included in the photos yet are the things I already have here, such as lots of Dove soap, shampoo and hair products, and a bunch of stuff my friend Lisa brought over yesterday. Very soon my home is going to be filled with stuff for the shelter. Please, please, please, if you haven’t yet, send a few dollars my way to help fund this project!! There’s a PayPal button at the end of this entry, or you can send an email money transfer to donna@innereyes.com

As I mentioned, my friend Lisa came over yesterday. She is so amazing and wonderful. I don’t see her often, but when I do, it more than makes up for it. She pulled her car up and first unloaded a box and a bag of goodies for the Women’s Shelter. Then she parked her car and walked in with even more stuff… my Christmas present (we exchanged them now, but won’t open them until Christmas… last year we didn’t get around to doing that until March, so we figured since we had each other’s gifts, we better do it now!), a stocking full of toys for the cats (and treats and wet food) PLUS three foam containers… “I didn’t think we’d have time to go for lunch, so I thought I’d bring lunch to you!” She stopped at My Favourite Vietnamese Restaurant and picked me up an order of my #50 chicken satay!!! (Plus food for herself). On top of that, a container with CAKE. ‘Cause, you know, I hate the Cake.

How awesome is she??? LOVE!! (Seriously, thoughtful people who remember those little things, like what your favourite dish from a restaurant is, or that you love your pink Crocs and sunflowers, are the sort of people everyone should have in their life). She played with the kitties and even found one of their favourite toys waaay under the sofa. Now I will be kept awake all night listening to the little fluffy bird chirp every time their claws touch it. Thanks, Lisa

Lisa helped me get out of my apartment safely on my scooter, keeping Pita inside. She runs out EVERY chance she gets now (it’s gotten really bad) so I have taken to locking her in my bedroom every time I run over to the mall. I’m not gone very long, so it’s okay. I just can’t keep her away from the door when I’m on my scooter. It’s a little easier when I’m on foot. Today I knew I was going to be gone for a couple of hours, so I didn’t want to lock her in a room. So I’m glad Lisa was there to help. When she opened the door, there was a box from Amazon there… My Flight of the Conchords DVDs!! YAAAA! I knew what I’d be doing all weekend.

And what was I doing at the mall for a couple of hours, you ask? Since I’m NOT shopping anymore until I receive more donations? Well, I was getting my hair done. And what, exactly, does a turning-40-in-less-than-six-months-woman do to her hair, just for fun, these days?

She puts in pink highlights.

What the hell, right? You only live once. I’ve always wanted to… then I saw Avril Lavigne on TV the other night, and it reminded me. (Even my mom said “oh, GOOD! I was thinking about that when Avril Lavigne was on Dancing With The Stars! That the pink streak would be so cute on you…”) So, I did it. Except I did more than just one pink streak (I think that look suits longer. straighter hair). My intention was to have a few thin, light streaks throughout (a la Rachel McAdams), but my hairdresser sort of did what she wanted, and they ended up thicker and darker than I intended. But I don’t care! I think it’s fun.

Ahhh, the lighting in my bathroom… it actually looks like more streaks, and darker, in person. So maybe after a couple weeks of shampoo it will look like this!

Friday night I ventured out with my new hair, and was hit on by more men in that one night than I ever have been before, so perhaps the hair is a good thing…? Or maybe it was the fact that it was a divey, smokey bar and most of the men there were older and drunk? Whatever.

My friend Jon (that I met at Pam’s party the week before, so really he’s Pam’s friend, but I’ve decided to steal some of her friends for myself) is in a band that was playing at this bar on Friday. It was their first gig together, so they can’t be expected to play the A-circuit bars quite yet. I didn’t think there were any bars left in this city where you are allowed to smoke, but I guess the Official Public Smoking Ban doesn’t go into effect until January 1, 2008, and until then some bars can pay the government a certain amount to be able to keep smoking. Or something like that. Anyway, I was surprised when I walked in and could barely see through the smoke… it was GROSS. Everyone there was smoking… because it’s probably one of the few places left they can!

I seated myself at the only available table and started to get hit on. I was waiting for a couple of Pam’s friends to join me, but I knew they’d be about an hour… I wanted to get there a bit earlier, get a decent table, and eat something. I normally don’t mind sitting by myself for awhile, but I’m not normally hit on so much by drunk old men, and surrounded by smoke. Ick. Jon did sit with me for awhile, which was nice, (he’s a sweetie) and I gave him half my pizza. Got to keep those drummers fed. The first band started playing, but Tricia and Chris weren’t there yet. Two men were standing near me, looking for a place to sit, and I heard one of them say “maybe if we are really nice to this pretty lady over here, she will let us join her…” I told them I had friends coming, but they were welcome to sit until they arrived (they looked totally harmless). It was a good move, because they were really nice and fun. Even after Tricia and Chris arrived, these two guys (John and Art) stayed at our table and we all had a lot of fun. John even bought us a round of drinks. They left earlier than us, however… John kissed my hand and they were off. After (John) saying things to me like “I need someone to do my taxes… I should get your number” and “I should get your email address and send you these pictures blah blah blah…” he didn’t actually GET my number. My own fault for not having business cards on me? Still, he could have ASKED FOR A PEN. He was cute. Damn. And once that seat beside me opened up again, along came another drunk to chat me up. Sigh.

Aaaaaaanyway, the band was really good! Tight. The place was packed (read: SMOKE) and they rocked the joint. Who likes to rock the party? I like to rock the party! (Sorry, I break out in Flight of the Conchords sporadically) Around 1:00ish, while the band was still jammin’, Tricia and Chris gave me a ride home. And a couple Advil for my throbbing headache (from the smoke, not the music). I came home, peeled off my smokey clothes and threw them in the hamper. I’d have taken a shower too, if I wasn’t so tired.

Saturday was a lazy, sluggish sort of day, as a day after being out late/having a few beer usually is. I watched all the Flight of the Conchords episodes

On Sunday (today), my mom and Bob came over and did some of their usual stuff around here to help me out, and Bob installed a light above my kitchen sink. My mom also added an Oil of Olay pack to the Women’s Shelter box (and they brought me a couple empty boxes, because I will need them!) And dinner! Mom brought her roaster with chicken, carrots and potatoes and heated it up here. That’s one of my most favourite dinners on earth, and probably the easiest to make. Except for the gravy part. If it’s not in a can or “just add water” package, gravy will not be included. No problem for my mom, however. Oh, and a great salad, with a delicious dressing she just threw together with “olive oil and a few things from the fridge…” I so don’t take after her that way. I wonder where it all went wrong…

I’ve got a really busy week. TONS of work, a couple of appointments, and a couple dinners out. Jason and Sheldon owe me a dinner or two because of some work I did on the editing of their lyrics for the new CD. Which should be out SOON. I think the artwork is holding everything up at the moment! I have copies of all the songs (”it will be a lot easier for me to check the lyrics if I can actually hear the songs as I read along… maybe you should send them ALL to me…”) but it’s just not complete without the whole package in my hands!! Anyway, we’re supposed to be going for dinner this week, and Pam’s my friend Melanie and I are doing that as well. It’s her birthday tomorrow.

Have a great week, I’m not sure when I’ll have time to update. But I should start receiving all those things I ordered in the next few days!! Send me $$ so I can get more!!

Pay it Forward update:

This is what I have bought so far. A lot of it was purchased from eBay, so I don’t HAVE them yet (although I have made a few trips to the mall), but they’re all paid for and on the way! Pictures to follow soon.

• Lots of shampoo, conditioner, deodorants, hairspray, body wash, body lotion, razors
• Tons of make-up (mostly Avon)
• 40 lip balms
• 4 pairs of slippers in various styles/colours
• Huge lots of underwear and socks (women’s, boys and girls)
• 3 pairs of pajamas
• 3 girl’s sweaters/sweatshirts
• 4 fleece blankets
• 40 children’s books - assortment of activity, hardcover and softcover

Money spent - over $400

Money raised - $130

Hm… I’ve got lots of promises of cash from people, so I sure hope they come through with it! In the meantime, if you can help, please send a few dollars using the PayPal button at the end of this entry. Thanks to those of you who have contributed so far!! There is still so much I want to buy but I’m going to have to hold off until I see donations!! Remember, this is for women and children who have escaped abusive relationships and they are in need of a lot of basic every-day things we take for granted!

This store in the mall has really cute slippers, 2 pairs for $15, that I want to get a bunch of. That’s cheaper than new ones on eBay after you include the shipping. YOU GUYS, I WANT TO SHOP SO GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!! Hee

On Saturday night I went to a karaoke bar to celebrate my friend Pam’s birthday. Here’s the deal… my intention was to show up early, have a drink, stick around for a couple of hours and go home. I wanted to see Pam and a few of her friends that I’ve met before and really like, but I’m not a karaoke fan and really didn’t want a late night.

So much for my intention. I had an absolute BLAST. No, I didn’t sing, but the people who did were either really good, or just plain fun. This one guy did Stevie Wonder’s “Superstitious” and added a rap to it, and it was SO COOL. There was an Ozzy sound-alike. Pam and her friend did a duet of Meatloaf’s “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” and it was awesome. There were tons of people there. I met so many great people and had so much fun! Particularly with Melanie, Tricia and Jon (hi, cute young guys that Pam knows a lot of). I didn’t drink a lot, because it doesn’t take much to get me wobbly, but I had a few. I didn’t get home until 1:30 am and from what I understand, that party went waaaay on into the wee hours.

Last week, my Home Care worker came on Monday as usual, and all was well. On Wednesday, I had to work and would be leaving shortly after 10:00. She is usually here shortly after 9:00, and with her help I get dressed really quickly, so that gave us lots of time. By 9:15 I figured she was going to be late, so I better get myself going. One time she was late and arrived while I was in the shower, so I figured it may be the same thing. But I finished my shower and still no Harpal (her name). I sat on my bed and started drying myself off as best I could. I was getting worried, but not worried enough to call Home Care’s office. I dressed my bottom half and just hoped she showed up in time to help me put on my bra!! At 9:50 the phone rang. “Hi, this is (name?), your caregiver”. Me - “I’m sorry? Did something happen to Harpal?” She said she didn’t know, she was just assigned to me today and would be here in half an hour. I told her I was leaving in 15 minutes. She apologized, but she wasn’t told a particular time and had to get her regulars done first. So, no home care for me on Wednesday, and no bra, either. I just didn’t have the time to struggle with it before my ride got here. I wore a t-shirt and a sweater and when I arrived at Troy’s I apologized and told him not to look at me lol It wasn’t too noticeable behind his desk anyway, and it’s not like I have to deal with PEOPLE there. Thank GOD.

On Thursday night I received another call from another home care worker, saying she would be here the next morning around 10:00. That was fine, but I was really wondering about Harpal. I hoped she was just sick and would be back, because as frustrating as it can be sometimes with her lack of English and common sense, she is a sweetie, and we do have a nice routine set up. She knows what I need done, and she likes my cats! The woman who showed up on Friday was a MEANIE. Stickler for the rules - “we don’t do that or that”; “I don’t like cats AT ALL”; “Where is your care book? That details what you can and can’t do and is the only proof that I was here”. I told her Harpal never used the care book, and I can tell her what I can and can’t do with my own mouth, and I know she was here, so no worries. She was huffy. She called the office to make sure they record that she was here, and to tattle on report that Harpal doesn’t use the care book guidelines and sometimes uses a REGULAR RAZOR (I only need help shaving one part of my leg) and OH MY GOD. She also told me she has been kicked out of many homes by angry people because she “just does my job right”. Anyway, hopefully that is the only time I will see her. Harpal was sick and would be back on Monday.

Yesterday Harpal was here, and she was moving slow… she had been attacked by two big dogs on Wednesday morning on her way out to work! They were her neighbours dogs - he has 5 and doesn’t keep them in the yard or on leashes, and apparently 3 other people were attacked that day too. I feel bad for Harpal because it seemed like the police and animal control didn’t take her seriously until other people were also attacked. I know it’s because she is East Indian, her English is bad, and she is a woman. She’s just not a “LISTEN TO ME AND DO SOMETHING!!” kind of woman like… some of us.

Anyway, I just wanted to give a little update. I have tons of work to do, so I better get on it. Donation button for the Women’s Shelter below!! THANK YOU!

Pretty Pepper

Pretty Pepper

Pita will let Pepper have “pretty”, but she REFUSES to be outdone in the “cuteness” department

Last night, I finally saw the movie Pay It Forward. I bawled at the end… the ugly cry. Wow.

Anyway, it reminded me that I wanted to do another “Pay It Forward” type project this year. Last year’s was a huge success! Thanks to everyone who contributed! This year, I am doing something different, for a very good cause. Inspired by my friend Kim’s sister, Kate, who is also now MY friend (thanks, Facebook!) She works with women in/escaping from abusive relationships. She has started a Facebook group called Sisters in Ending Violence Against Women, which pointed me in the direction of the Central Alberta Women’s Emergency Shelter, and my decision was made. We’re going to raise money for this shelter and to help these brave women!

If you notice on their website, it says “CAWES is in urgent need of the following items”:

• Shampoo/Conditioner
• Deodorant
• Toothpaste
• Toothbrushes
• Combs
• Brushes
• Women’s Pajama’s (all sizes)

Seriously? Who can’t help with that?!? They also have an urgent needs list here. I say… we can do that! You guys send the money, and I’ll do my favourite thing, the shopping! And because I REALLY like their products and their advertising campaign, I’m going to buy Dove brand deodorants/soaps/shampoos etc. None of this Dollar Store stuff. Although, I may hit them up for nail clippers and combs. And I can’t WAIT to buy pajamas. Ohhhh, I love me some pajamas!!

So, here is what I need you to do, same as last year - send me your donations via PayPal. If you are not comfortable with that, you can email me for an address to send a cheque, or an email money transfer. If you’re not comfortable with giving me the money because you haven’t been reading me long and think I’m going to spend it on lattes for myself, you can make a cash donation to the shelter yourself, right here. But I am REALLY hoping you will let me have the pleasure of shopping for these ladies and their children!!! Once I have bought all the loot, I will make arrangements for Kim or Kate to pick it up from me. They don’t know this yet, but since they live in the same city as the shelter and I do not, AND they come to Calgary fairly often (or at least Kim does), I’m sure we can arrange something

Anyway, I’m sure we have all had people do nice things for us this past year, so here is your chance to pay it forward, and eventually it will come back to you again I realize this time of year is a financial burden on many people with the holidays coming up, but I’m not asking you to give much! These woman have taken their children and run from their abusive relationships with nothing but the clothes they are wearing. They need shampoo, people! A few dollars buys a lot of shampoo! Every little bit adds up - last year your $10 here and $15 there added up to over $800 for that family’s Christmas! And the best part was, I got to do the shopping… I LOVE shopping for other people!!

So don’t go thinking you can’t make a difference with only $2 or $5. Skip buying your coffee today and add it to this pot!

Click the button below to contribute and let the Good Karma begin!! Just like last year, I will keep you updated on how much I’m collecting and what I’m buying (pictures included!) And for the record, I have no idea how to move this button up higher:

Saturday, September 15

Our day began once again with breakfast in the mall of the hotel concourse. There is a stand with Seattle’s Best coffee down there, have I mentioned that??

I think I have the days mixed up here, because according to my photos and what I was wearing, it was Friday we went to the Bay and tried on hats and I raided the MAC counter. Yes. So what did we do Saturday? Because I wasn’t picked up until about 2:30. So I’ll say… we went to the Bay, tried on silly hats, Gaby bought a really cute one, and I raided the MAC counter, buying mascara, lipstick and lip gloss. MAC rules. But the mascara stings my eyes, just like the Estee Lauder brands, which owns MAC, so there is something in their mascaras that my eyes don’t like. But every other part of my face likes MAC make-up.

Gail and Loren picked me up in the afternoon and Loren dropped Gail and I off on Roncesvalles for the Polish Street Festival while he took off to run other errands. It was great fun, especially the parts where we had to get me in my wheelchair over all the damn streetcar tracks!! Heh. I bought a few things, surprise SURPRISE. Mainly some handmade jewelry, and some $10 sunglasses that are designer rip-offs. I had forgotten my sunglasses at home, and actually looked for a pair in the Bay, but I wasn’t about to pay $100 when I knew I would be able to get some for $10 from a street vendor at some point!

Roncesvalles Village - Polish Street Festival

We also stopped at a wonderful vendor, The Queen of Tarts, where Gail talked me into buying a bag of ginger-encrusted pecans. She says she goes out of her way once in awhile to come buy these… and, I can see why. They were delicious, AND they helped my menstrual cramps!! (Ginger is great for that, and what a tasty way to get it!) I need one bag/month! I should have bought a year’s supply or so.

After roaming the street fair (pictures in Facebook) we stopped at a cute coffee shop called Coffee and All That Jazz for lattes and pastry while waiting for Loren.

Another day, another coffee shop

Then we went back to Gail’s place so I could see her condo and meet her cat, Pollyanna.

Pretty girl! Thanks for the Sigg water bottle!

We chatted and drank some yummy chocolate liqueur… I don’t remember the brand, but it was amazing! I also called my mom from Gail’s place… I wasn’t even aware Looney call existed. YAY! You learn something new every day…

Then it was off to meet my cousin Carrie and her boyfriend Matt for dinner at Dr. G’s. It was a great choice. Gail and Loren go there a lot, and when Carrie was trying to think of a restaurant nearby her that was accessible, Dr. Generosity was near the top of her list, too. So that worked great. AND they had my beer on tap, Big Rock’s Grasshopper, which you don’t see very often East of Calgary! (Pictures inFacebook, even of my beer).

It was an early night, and I was back at the hotel and in bed by about 10:00. Gaby and Emma had gone to see a dance performance by Peter’s girlfriend Andrea, and came back later than me.

Sunday was Lazy Day. I needed the rest! I did some packing, puttered on the computer, wheeled myself around the hotel and took pictures while Gaby visited with another friend of hers and Emma did homework. Sort of.

Waterfall in our hotel lobby

Nathan Phillips Square across the street

Just a picture taken outside our hotel

While hanging outside the hotel, I ran into the Scooter Guy I had met outside the bus depot the other day. He told me more about his terminal illness (liver and kidney diseases) and that he has been living in a long-term care facility for the past year. “I used to stay in this hotel a lot - I used to be rich” he told me. Apparently he gave his money to his children when he thought he was going to die, but he ended up living longer than anyone thought he would, and now his kids don’t talk to him and he has nothing. But, he would like to take me on a date, to see a show… “I’m leaving tomorrow,” I told him. He was a little creepy, and who knows if any of his stories are true (I imagine he drank his money and life away, but I believe his kids don’t talk to him!) Also, you don’t have to be rich to stay in the Sheraton, for the record. It was the cheapest hotel downtown I could get through my travel agent (but almost twice as much as my Montreal hotel. Oh well).

Anyway, Sunday evening was a BLAST. First we met up with Emma’s friend Gillian for dinner (at the Java House, of course). I had Pad Thai mmmmmm! Then it was down to the famed Cameron House to see Kevin Quain and the Mad Bastards. Our buddy Adam plays drums with them.

We parked my wheelchair in the back room and got a table up front. The band was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G and Kevin Quain is a crazy ridiculous talent. He played guitar, banjo, piano, accordian, even a SAW. I bought all 3 of his CDs immediately and asked him if he knew my old friend Scott McClelland, because his show made me think of Carnival Diablo and I figured they should be friends. Which they are, and Kevin has even done gigs with him! They are a good fit, I tell ya.

His trumpet player plays with Feist! AND gave me directions to the bathroom. While he was on stage haha The stage is so small that he actually stood on the floor, by the curtain that led to the back room. He walked back there with me and Gaby to show me where the women’s bathroom was, but due to all the stairs I said “you know, I’m just going to use the men’s…” and I did that while Gaby stood outside to make sure no men came in!

After the show, I was standing up, chatting with Adam, and then I turned to say goodnight to Kevin. I felt my right foot not land properly, and knew I was falling… the sort of stumble where if a table or something was beside me I could have stopped myself, but because nothing was there I had to let myself fall. So I landed flat on my ass and scared some people. I played it cool and asked for a chair to help me get up, and I got up okay on my own. The girls had just retrieved my wheelchair out of the back, so I held it to balance me as we walked out. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, dammit, so I didn’t talk to anyone on my way out except to say a quick goodbye to any band members we passed. Then we got outside, I sat in my chair, and let it rip! Dammit, I hate when that happens. I wasn’t really hurt, but I guess falling in front of a bunch of people is an ego bruiser. Adam was there, giving me big hugs, as I was apologizing for being a big baby. I felt like such an idiot!

Anyway, we said our goodnight’s to Adam and headed back up Queen Street to our hotel. I was still sniffling so I didn’t want to stop in the Horseshoe, as was my original plan, to say hello to an old friend (and former Phantoms guitarist) who works there on Sundays. Emma asked “don’t you want to stop in there and see him?” (It has been, after all, over 15 years). But I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it. I have a hard enough time seeing people I haven’t seen in that long, who have no idea I have MS (it’s the looks of shock and/or pity that I can’t handle!) never mind running into an old friend while in a wheelchair when I’ve just been crying… I’d lose it and start bawling like a baby and not even be able to get out a “hello”! I could have done it if I hadn’t been snivelling. Dammit!

So instead we stopped at a hot dog vendor and bought hot dogs. There is nothing like getting street meat at 2:00 in the morning! (Gaby got a veggie dog. I should point that out in case she is reading!) Apparently, Emma and Gaby don’t have that in Montreal. We have them in Calgary… isn’t everyone hungry when they roll out of the bar after it closes? It’s a necessity.

We were back at the hotel and in bed by about 2:30, I guess. The next day we checked out and caught our bus at about 1:30 pm. Next up, Montreal!!