Can You Hear Me Now?

There are so many people on my Facebook friends list that are getting Liberated these days, I can’t keep track! I feel bad for the people who are just looking into it now… the waiting lists are insane. I was relatively late in the game to sign up for treatment but at least I’m not trying to get on lists now and being told I’ll be waiting until 2011. I’m sure Dr. Simka in Poland (the most well versed in this) is 2012. One month for me! One month until Liberation! Hopefully more clinics keep opening. It doesn’t look like they’ll be allowing it here anytime soon.

With the help of family and friends I have received about $8,000 of the approximately $20,000 I need for this life saving procedure. It’s like I read in a newspaper article yesterday, the 5-10 years of research they want to complete before they’re willing to make it available to us is JUST.TOO.LONG. “People will be in wheelchairs by then, and those already in wheelchairs will be dead”. Enough said. I’m going to save my life. I swear I am getting worse by the day, especially if the past 24 hours is any indication, so Liberation cannot come soon enough.

Besides the crapfest which was the past 24 hours, a new symptom has reared its ugly head in a whole new way (it used to pop up sometimes… now it’s life altering). OXYGEN. By the end of the day or when fatigue sets in especially, I’m not able to hold a conversation. The exertion is too much for me. I have trouble taking decent breaths and choke a lot more than I used to. These are definitely symptoms of CCSVI so I hope they clear up after Liberation. I found out that my severe morning hiccups are part of this, too! Good to know. Various home care workers have told me it means “someone is thinking of you” but I don’t know who would be thinking of me at approximately the same time every morning.

Speaking of home care workers, the one I had today to help me get to/from the mall told me a little about her life. She married her cousin when she was 19. Her sister married a cousin when she was TWELVE. Both her brothers married cousins. You see, they do not marry “outsiders” and keep it in the family. Hmmm….

Well, I guess we are all related, as Dr. Wayne Dyer puts it: “Two people made you, four people made the two people who made you, eight people made them, etc. etc.” so if you go far enough back, we are all family. But STILL.

My friend Heather came over on Tuesday to watch my morning routine with Grace so she sorta knows what to expect in Costa Rica. I picked up our tickets today. My passport arrived on Monday (another scratch off the 101 list!). It’s all happening! Heather swears up and down she will not get sick before we leave. I told her to take Cold FX every day, I will buy it for her, whatever! Just don’t get sick! She says she won’t so I will believe her.

Part of my rough 24 hours happened last night when I almost fell. Falling for me now would be an even bigger deal than it ever was in the past. Anyway, I can barelyifeven walk without my AFO on, so after home care leaves (she removes it) I like to use my Chi Machine and then I need to lock the door behind her, then make it to bed in one piece. My Chi Machine is acting weird lately and moving across the mat as it shakes, and last night was really bad so I gave up because when it moves it hurts my ankles (your leg position is important with that thing, if it doesn’t stay still it may be time for a new one… well worth the price). Anyway, I got up and walked to the door and thought “man, this is getting harder again”, locked the door, slowwwwly turned towards my bedroom and stumbled. I JUST managed to save myself by landing with my back against the wall and slamming the breaks on my walker really fast. My cell phone and water bottle went flying and I could feel myself slipping. I was thinking, “oh no, here I go” and wouldn’t that have sucked, with my cell phone out of reach! But I put as much weight as I could on my right leg to pull my left foot into a stable position. Then I made it to my bed and collapsed in tears. Those “holy shit, that was close” kinda tears. With my water bottle on the floor in the hallway (which I need to take my night and morning meds) and me afraid to try walking again, I knew I had to call someone (phone on bedside table, thank God). I chose Shawna because a) she’s an awesome amazing friend and b) she lives close and has keys. So I called her and felt like an idiot asking her to come help me for what seems like a silly reason! Of course she came by and helped me get settled. How pathetic would you feel if you needed someone to drive over to your place because your water bottle and cell phone is on the floor in the hallway? Yeah. Welcome to my hell.

That was yesterday, and today I had another “accident” with my bowels. Fourth time in two weeks. Seriously about the worst thing that can happen in your day. I’m still waiting for my evening home care to come and clean me up. It happened about 5 hours ago. So, yeah, not a great 24 hours. And tonight I am not using my Chi Machine or walking without my AFO. I will take it off myself while sitting on my bed. I’m not feeling so steady.

Tomorrow is another day.

And so it was. The above was written on Thursday, and Friday was a MUCH better day because I got to go see THE POLYJESTERS!!! I did feel stronger in the morning but by 2:00 I was done for the day. BUT you don’t miss an opportunity to see The Polyjesters when all the help you need is willing and able to take you. Shawna came by around 6:30 and we got me all ready and out the door. Getting to the new Ironwood location was a hassle because the sidewalk was not wheelchair accessible (must call the City about that) and then once inside I found out the venue itself is not the wheelchair accessible place I was promised by the staff it would be. The bathroom, according to Shawna, has a W/C accessible stall. BUT, there is a step to get INTO the bathroom, so WTF good does that do? Good thing I wore my “justincase” Attends underwear. Plus, the bathroom is right at the front door, and there is no way in hell to get from your table to the bathrooms in a wheelchair once you’re in. I had to roll behind the bar to get to my table, and then was told “oh! We thought you’d come in the back way, there is a ramp beside the stage and your table is right in front of the stage”. So I had a great table, and sure enough there is a ramp beside the stage heading to the back door, BUT, as we found out when we left that way, the ramp leads to the back entrance where there is a gigantic step (that’s STEP) down. Luckily when I cried out “oh no, a STEP!” Jason and Aaron came over and assured me they could carry my chair down it. So I closed my eyes and let out a little yelp as they brought me safely to the ground. Remember, not exactly 90 pounds over here.

Accessibility (and the fact yet another restaurant doesn’t understand what “gluten free, no bread with my steak sandwich” means to a person with Celiac disease like Shawna) aside, it was an amazing show!! My mom and Bob joined us, and I got to see my friend Kim and her hubby that drove in from Red Deer. And a few other Poly Regulars like Damien and Kelsey and the PolyParents. The show was one of the best I’ve ever seen! Scott Duncan was there to join them on fiddle for several songs, including their “Orange Blossom Special” they used to always play when they were regulars at Epcot Center in Florida back in the day (called “Fiddlestix” back then)… complete with a medley of Disney tunes and corresponding dance moves. If you GO HERE you can scroll down and preview a taste of it, song #9. But that won’t be enough, haha! Preview song 8 too, and tell me you don’t want to see that live on a stage right in front of you! I want a Scott Duncan on my speed dial. I also have a photo of him from 2004 licking his own nipple. I need to remind him of that.

Anyway, in case that isn’t enough of an indication, it was a very high energy, fun and mind-blowing show. I lasted with my head up the entire time, but left the second the show was over. Made it home in one piece and was in bed at 1:00 am! Mom and Bob spent the night here and we all groaned when home care showed up at 9:00 am.

Now it is Sunday, and the past couple days I have decided it’s not worth the risk of walking without my AFO, so I haven’t used my chi machine at night and keep my brace on right until I get to bed. I am better able to walk in the morning, after a night of rest, so getting around until home care puts on my AFO has been okay. Also, for my morning Chi session I found a cushion I have fits perfectly between the machine and the wall to keep the machine from shuffling away, so that’s good. I do hope the problem with my foot/leg is temporary (again) and I’m able to walk (again) soon. The EMS has to get working for me (again!) We took a break from it when my bladder was too crazy and we forgot to get back into using it. So we fixed that today and No More Breaks!

CCSVI update: I just got another call from my BFF Dr. Kirsty Duncan, the awesome Liberal MP who is working her arse off for us (she has not gone to bed before 4:00 am the past two weeks). I had sent her an email about what that MS Society funding of CCSVI research really means (what a joke) so she could be up to date before the debate tomorrow in the House of Commons. She’s also aware of the situation with Barb Farrell (that’s manslaughter, plain and simple) in Barrie and has lots of personal stories to talk about. The more stories that get out there, the better. Soon even the general population that isn’t affected by MS will sit up and take notice. I told Kirsty I’m booked into Costa Rica for treatment July 10 and I thought she was going to fall out of her chair, she was so excited for me!

I want to publish this before my evening home care arrives, which will be in about 10 minutes! Ciao.

My blog was down for a few days. Sorry about that, but it’s out of my control.

I am home. I am so very happy to be here. At this point my walking isn’t much better than before I left, and I still struggle to do every little thing, but now that I’ve spent some time on the other side I know I prefer this to that. Not that actual assisted living would be the same as that care facility, (there should be coherent people people around, for one thing) but it’s close enough for me to know I want to stay clear of that for a loooooong time! I pee’d for two days straight, deflating all that sodium from the food out of me. I had puffed up like a balloon, more than just my feet! I didn’t realize how bad it was until Thursday when I pee’d every 20 minutes. And the food would be like that everywhere. And the shower situation. And the giving up my kitties situation. And the lack of privacy situation. I’d much rather struggle here!

It’s nice to have peace and quiet again, and my kitties around, and my chi machine and my bed. I missed my lift chair so much. And fresh fruit, real food, my MacBook, my TV shows (I’ll be catching up for awhile and I even deleted a lot of them!) and so many other things I took for granted. I will be stuck at home a lot again, but I won’t complain about that anymore! I still hope to get stronger and more independent in that area anyway, but in the meantime I have Home Care sending me a lady to help me get out to the mall once/week. I’ll be able to get some shopping done and get a latte and stuff, and someone with me to help me get stuff down off shelves, help me off my scooter when we get back here, put everything away and help set me back up all comfy in my chair. No fear of falling. The increased home care services are helpful, as someone pops in during the evening, as well. I get a lady every morning for personal care, range of motion and lunch prep, and then again at night to help me get ready for bed, refill my water bottle, wash dinner dishes etc. It only takes about 10 minutes but it’s great to have that help.

I won’t even complain that they’ve been sending different people every day and retraining people constantly is draining and frustrating. Hopefully they will get it down to splitting the work between two or three people on a regular schedule so I know who’s coming and when!

It seems a new symptom has reared it’s very ugly head, called VERTIGO. It’s making me crazy! It started yesterday afternoon, when I sat up from using my chi machine. Now it happens every time I get up or down, and sometimes while I’m just sitting here. It’s going to make me sick! I’m getting nauseous. I’ve certainly been living with dizziness for years, but this is more than that! Wow. I certainly hope it’s temporary. I won’t be putting up with this for long… puke.

The above was written several days ago, but this vertigo has set in something awful, so I need to take another break until this clears up. I can’t focus on anything so even typing this is making me feel sick! I’m going to my chiropractor today for a neck adjustment and advice. My doctor is away, so I may need to head to the walk-in clinic tomorrow. I want to get a referral to a radiologist… one of the causes of vertigo is a blockage in the veins, causing interrupted blood flow and oxygen to the brain. So if I can use this vertigo as an excuse to be tested for CCSVI, that would be great! Alberta Health Services has made an announcement that they will not pay for people to be tested. But if I have blocked veins I have a right to know and be treated for it! Grrr.

Okay, so, if you have MS or know someone close to you with MS, you have (maybe just recently, like me) heard about The Liberation Treatment and Dr. Zamboni. I heard about it for the first time on Friday when AH called me excitedly after hearing about it on the radio. Then there was that special on W5. I’m not going to go into great details about it here, you can click the links and see for yourself, but I AM going to urge you to call your closest MS Society chapter and neurologists and ask questions. Make a fuss. This is an amazing discovery which requires attention. Pharmaceutical companies and many organizations stand to lose a LOT of money over this, and it’s totally outside of the box of all other MS theories, so it’s going to take people like us to make noise. On Friday the MS Society wanted no part in this theory but after pressure from the phone calls on Monday after the news report aired, they changed their tune and have decided to grant funds for research. We must keep up the momentum!

I had a nice weekend. On Saturday my mom and Bob came by for their last visit before leaving on their vacation to Mexico tomorrow! My brother’s girlfriend also came by, and she helped me get to the mall so I could pick up a few things, including the shower curtain and handheld shower head for my neighbour. We weren’t able to get it over to her that day, but the rings were put in the curtain so it was ready for hanging. Cindy came by again the other day, and told me Home Care had come by to assess her and she was getting a bathtub bench, raised toilet seat, bars in the tub, pole beside her bed, a NEW wheelchair, and personal care assistance for showers and dressing. Awesome.

That night my dad picked me up and we went to my friend/client/Coach K’s 50th birthday bash. Lucky for me it was held at a restaurant and not his house so I could actually go! (His house has lots of stairs). I could only stay for a couple of hours (bedtime for me these days is between 9 and 10:00) but it was so good to see him and a few other friends of his I know. Coach K is, last I heard, 6′9″ (I’m pretty sure he was 6′6″ when I met him 10 years ago, but after 6′4″ everyone is shorter than you, so who’s gonna argue?) He just competed in and came in 5th at a national body building championship (so yeah, no one is going to argue with him about ANYTHING, except me, ’cause I’m his bookkeeper and make him pay his taxes no matter how much he whines). When he emailed me the photo of him posing on stage in a Speedo, I think I screamed, before I gave him shit. He’s like a brother to me… and no one wants to see their buffed, tanned brother in a Speedo.

On Sunday, my good friend and hero Rob Szabo came by with Ryan Hennessey, whom he is touring with right now. They had a show here that night but since getting out isn’t easy for me and bathrooms at these live music venues are rarely accessible (not to mention the bed time thing) I wasn’t able to go, so it was super appreciated that they made time for me. AND we went over to Cindy’s where they installed the stuff for her shower! I love me some Handymen. Slash musicians, the perfect blend. Cindy is not one to show emotion but I know she was grateful and thanked us. Good Karma Points earned by all. I had never met Ryan before, and he is a super great guy. Of course. Rob surrounds himself with pretty awesome people. He produced Ryan’s CD and gave me a copy… he also produced PETER KATZ’S UPCOMING CD THAT GLEN HANSARD SINGS ON . Not sure If I mentioned that before.

My 101 List is rolling along. I’ve been following the Core Balance diet (”food plan” - not a fan of the word DIET) for the past week, which among other things means no sugar (except in natural forms like fruits, grains). I’m doing good, although my craving for chocolate is starting to hit. Today is my first day of liquids only (one day a week over 6 weeks - not a Core Balance thing, just something I want to do). The other day I was walking up the hall and my pants fell off me, right down to my ankles. It was then I realized all the pants I wear I was wearing around the time of my 40th birthday a year and a half ago, and I have actually lost 50 pounds since then. It’s time to dig through my closet and find more pants. I would say it’s time to “buy new pants”, but I have certainly been this weight before in recent years (and lower… I gained a LOT of weight since breaking my wrist) so I’m pretty sure I’ve got better fitting pants around. But I sure do love my Silhouettes Yoga Pants so I think a trip to eBay is in order as well.

The pool is helping the weight loss too, I’m sure. Even though it’s only twice/week and I’m not doing much in there, I have worked up to 10 minutes and am even able to move my arm and leg a bit, to sorta jog in place or make scissor movements with my legs. It’s getting there! I’m still DEAD when I get out and can’t lift my right foot… and it takes a good 24 hours to recover… but I know it will get better. The staff have all said they can see a big difference from my first day, so that’s encouraging!

I need to clean off my memory card to get to all my cat pics. In the meantime though, I’m just glad to be updating! Pictures soon.

I was so shook up by the time I reached the hospital for my physio appointment the other day, I almost didn’t go in. Well, that’s not quite true, of course I went in, but I laid on the table and just breathed for about 10 minutes before anything else. This was all thanks to Access Calgary and their lovely Handi-bus vehicles. Holy shit! Those are the worst vehicles on the road. When I was able to go out with just my walker, I had a Doctor’s note in my file to never send me a Handi-bus because they have absolutely no shock absorption and toss you around like a rag doll (once I hit my head pretty hard on the window) plus they have no air conditioning. When you’re stuck on a city-wide trip in the summer that is brutal for MSers. Then in the winter, they open the back up to let the ramp down and leave it that way while they go looking for their next passenger. Not fun to sit there when it’s -30 outside. So anyway, I managed to keep myself as “car only” for many years, but now that I need to go out with my scooter (and soon my power chair) I have no choice in the matter. A few times I have lucked out and a wheelchair van has showed up, which is nice, but usually it is those horrible clunky Handi-busses. Tuesday was especially awful because I got a bit of a city tour, going waaaaay past my destination to pick up another two people and drop me off on the way back. There were many, many speed bumps, tight corners turned at too fast a speed, and very uneven concrete roads. At one point I felt one of my wheels lift up and I thought I was going to topple over. I flew up in the air several times. I screamed… twice. And to think, with the Calgary Stampede so close, I’ve been thinking about how long it’s been since I’ve been able to ride on a roller coaster. At least on a roller coaster you’ve got bars around you to feel secure. Yikes. I was scared shitless.

The rides are always horrible, especially over speed bumps, but I usually get direct trips to the hospital because it is so close. I have never had to deal with a run like this. Now I am afraid to book a trip to anywhere further from me in the city! Maybe it will be better in a wheelchair. If you’re on a 3 wheel scooter they want you to transfer to a seat for safety reasons, but I am unable to do that so I stay seated on my scooter and feel pretty uneasy about it. Although on Tuesday the bus was too full for me to transfer even if I could, with 3 ambulatory passengers on the seats, a person in a wheelchair and me on my scooter. I guess I have another reason to seek out a 4 wheeled scooter again. one of these days I’ll get on that… for now I’m still awaiting the arrival of my power wheelchair and then I need to get to work on setting up self-managed care. Oh, and next week I have an appointment to get my ankle/foot orthotic looked at to see if there are some changes they can make to it so I can actually put it on and wear it. Hey, that only took three years! Hopefully if it works I’ll be walking safely and more often again. My Home Care nurse/coordinator has been fighting the good fight for me on this one for over two years. Finally someone listened! I need to get a shoe for it this week.

The above was written a couple days ago! Yesterday I found my shoes. In fact, it took me all of 30 seconds to find them. I needed a shoe with velcro straps in a size bigger than I wear, wide. I rode into Payless Shoes (where, it turns out, my scooter sets off the security alarms, and they didn’t stop until I left. That was nice). The only aisle that had room for me (the store was busy. And did I mention I set off the alarms? The staff must be used to it because they were not phased) just happened to have women’s size 9-1/2 at the end. I spotted some black running shoes, and when I pulled out the box they just happened to be a wide, with velcro straps across the top. Sold! That was easy.

Before that, however, I spent an hour in a periotontist chair getting my gums scaled. They are in such bad shape, she could only do my top teeth and they needed to freeze my gums. The hygienist lectured me (nicely) about taking better care of my extremely infected and inflamed gums. I know, I know. I’m going to have to get my daily home care “plan” to include dental hygiene assistance. My main excuse for not spending time on my teeth is the difficulty standing at the sink, brushing my teeth with my one good hand while trying to stay balanced. But there is lots I can do seated while watching TV. I solved my one handed flossing woes ages ago, so I really don’t have an excuse. Just DO it.

So after I got home I went back out to the mall to pick up an Oral B Vitality to use until I get a replacement head for my Sonicare (dad took it to find one for me) and the shoes. As I was riding my scooter up the mall, a lady came along beside me, smiled, and said “hope you’re having a good day!” or something very friendly like that. She stayed beside me and said “it’s so great to see you out and about.” She didn’t mean me exactly, it was more of a general statement about people with mobility problems being able to get out on motorized scooters and chairs. I ended up stopping and chatting with her for a bit. She told me she used to take care of this older gentleman until “they put him in the Fanning Centre” (assisted living facility). I asked, “oh, you’re a caregiver?” and she said she’s not officially, but loves to do that sort of stuff and take care of people. She started listing people/family she has cared for over the years. She used to be a waitress but isn’t able to do that anymore (I didn’t ask why, maybe I should have? Did she poison her customers?) so now she cleans houses. She offered herself up to be of assistance to me if I ever need it, “clean your house, do your laundry, cook, paint your nails… I do everything except build houses! And I don’t charge a lot. I really just love helping people”. She wrote down her name and number with “cleaner, handy, loving girl” under it. So…. Angel sent from above, or total whackjob? I’m sure I’ll find out ’cause I know I’ll call her at some point. She seems to be around my age, one of those people a little rough around the edges with a heart of gold. In fact, she TOLD me she has a heart of gold, so there ya go. Will be interesting to see if she really is as kind and giving as she appeared to be, and if in the future when I get into self-managed care I end up hiring her! As she left, she told me and my completely frozen, drooling mouth, “you have a very pretty smile”.

I’m doing better since I cut back to 10 StemEnhance per day. I was definitely detoxing before, so I feel normal again. Dare I say I’m noticing it’s a little easier to get up from the toilet, my chair, my scooter, etc.? No, I won’t get too excited yet. But that has been quite noticeable the past few days compared to the past year! Shhhh.

Oh my God, my friend Emma in Toronto (for now, until she is done school in a couple weeks and then goes back to Montreal until she heads to SCOTLAND for school in the fall, where she got a scholarship at some music industry school, and I am making no sense, but oh my God it is so exciting and I am so proud of her and the corruption I thought I caused her at age 15) did the coolest thing the other day. We were talking over Skype, and since we both have MacBooks, Emma suggested we try iChat (Skype was very fuzzy). With iChat there is a “share screen” feature, and we were able to go on the other person’s computer. Like, I was able to snoop through Emma’s files and emails and listen to her iTunes and everything. Unbelievable. I totally freaked out, that was the coolest thing ever.

Okay that part was written yesterday, and I am determined to finish this up tonight.

This morning I went back to the mall and returned the Oral B Vitality, because, really, I can live for a few days with a normal toothbrush until I get my Sonicare replaced. I didn’t really need to spend $29 on a toothbrush. But, if you don’t have any other kind of electric toothbrush, it’s supposed to be a really good one for the price.

I was saddened to hear of Farrah Fawcett’s passing this morning, and totally shocked by the death of Michael Jackson! Woah. I used to LOVE Michael. I owned “Off The Wall” and a family I babysat for gave me “Thriller” for Christmas when I was 15. I played them over n’ over n’ over. While curling my hair to look like Farrah’s. It’s a bad day for childhood icons.

However, my greatest love from my teen years, John Taylor from Duran Duran, is alive and well and guest starring on “Samantha Who?” tonight! Woo hoo!

I’ve also been keeping up on the goings on in Iran, via following a few reliable sources on Twitter and my favourite news source, The Daily Show. I’m not able to watch all the video footage because the screams are too much to handle. I did watch most of the footage of Neda’s death but I closed the browser when the blood started pouring and I heard the screams. I made the mistake of clicking on a link and watching a video in the first couple days of the aftermath, when the Basij were storming dorms and attacking/killing students. That was a mistake and that boys face and the screams will haunt me forever. This NY Times blog has great coverage if you’re interested. One of the guys in Iran I’m following on Twitter said yesterday “we must go - don’t know when we can get internet- they take one of us, they will torture and get names - now we must move fast.” Good Lord, can you even imagine. We are so lucky to live here.

My mom is coming to stay with me this weekend. That will be nice! She can help me organize in my office and we’re going to watch “The Reader”. I was going to rent it last weekend but my mom said “no! Wait until I come!”

One of these days I will get around to emptying out my memory card on my camera. Until then, Pita still likes to hang out on me and my MacBook.

Today was quite the productive day. I made it over to the mall (it’s beautiful outside today) and not only did I get to Walmart for cat food and oh-look-it’s-Easter-and-yummy-addictive-Robin’s-eggs-are-out, but I got to the bank and set up a new RRSP plan, AND I got passport photos done. They are FABULOUS! These are the pictures that will proudly be displayed on my “Most Wanted” poster.

Gangsta. So I am one step closer to accepting that dinner invitation to Rome. And for THAT I will wear make up. As a friend of mine said, when you’re on vacation and start to look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home!

By setting up another RRSP account I completed another thing on my 101 list. Yes, I do still look that over to find things I will be able to accomplish, but I also know there is no way in hell I’ll get even close to completing it. I will make a new, more realistic list, when this one expires. Maybe.

I also got myself some cream cheese and Triscuits, so I can go about enjoying the habanero jams I ordered from Crooked Acres. Robyn sent along some cat toys for Pita and Pepper that are stuffed with catnip, so I got to spend the evening laughing hysterically watching them play. Pita excited herself so much, she threw up. I swear I’m making a video of the kitties playing, and that will be in it. (The catnip toys, not the puking).

And the jam… ohhhh boy! Hot stuff. I think it may cure anything.

My brother is here right now and I am virtually ignoring him.

The next couple of days are busy for me, I actually have things to do, places to go! Tomorrow a client is taking me out for lunch to My Favourite Vietnamese Restaurant, and then my Home Care nurse is coming over for my annual Big Assessment. Then on Wednesday I’m having lunch with a friend from school, my friend Lisa; a different friend Lisa than I usually mention! (That Lisa, by the way, is planning her July wedding to Russ, my blog host!) Somewhere in there I need to get a whole lot of work done. Sigh. So much for the attempt at frequent blog updates.

Oh! The Bachelor finale starts in a few minutes. By the time you read this we will know if the rumour he proposes to Melissa and then dumps her for Molly during the “After the Final Rose” show is true. Gotta go!

Okay, so, Number One: according to some “leaks” surrounding the Bachelor I am waaaay off on my prediction. If the leakers are telling the truth, there is some pretty major stuff happening during the final episodes. Not the finale, but the “After The Rose” show. I hope what I’m hearing isn’t true, because I like happy endings and I honestly thought better of Jason. Especially being a single dad and all. I’m hoping the leaks were planted by ABC to get ratings but they sort of make sense… there’s even videos on You Tube about it. I started watching one but the guy bored the hell out of me and made me feel like if I actually cared enough to watch his videos then I have NO LIFE whatsoever.

Number Two: My laptop keyboard problems may be solved soon when I get a FrogPad. That looks a little confusing to learn, but I think it will be so much easier in the long run. I’ll be able to type even faster than I do on my regular desktop keyboard once I know what I am doing. I certainly can’t be any slower than I am on this laptop with keys I don’t know the meaning of.

Yesterday I opened my Photo Booth and got a black screen. I have no idea why and searching the troubleshooting forums didn’t help me. I can’t figure out anything on this damn machine! I need a Mac user friend to come over and spend some time with me, but he’s kinda busy these days. I need heeeeeelp!!! Today after a million restarts my camera works again. But I’d like to use it for more than just taking funny pictures. Oh, and I wasn’t able to transfer the songs from my PC’s iTunes to this one even though I gave it permission to, so when I synched my iPod I lost a bunch of songs. I thought your iTunes account was your iTunes account, and any music you have purchased would be accessible from YOUR ITUNES ACCOUNT. Now I don’t know what to do because some stuff is on here and some stuff is over there and you can only synch your iPod with one. You can’t just “add” a song to your iPod, you have to erase and re-synch everything. Grrrrr help!!!

My brother came over yesterday and we went to the mall. I was looking for one of those can holders you put in the fridge and every time you take a can out, another one rolls forward. Know what I mean?

Couldn’t find one. I’ve only ever seen them in the Regal catalogue, anyway. Maybe I can find one on eBay. I need it for all my cans of fruit spritzers I drink instead of pop. (Water can get a little boring).

I also went to get some blood tests the other day. It wasn’t nearly as painful as I’d thought it would be. My scooter fit in fine (the lab is in the mall tower), the staff ran a smooth operation (the crowded waiting room had me worried but it moved fast) and the nurse didn’t argue with me when I told her my ONE good vein is in my left hand above my 1st finger. In and out, very little pain. I’m hoping the results will let me know if my sleeping problems are partly caused by hormone imbalances or thyroid issues.

Anyway, my cats are feeling very neglected these days because this thing has taken over my lap. So I best go and put in some snuggling time.

Oh my God, it’s been a month!! I didn’t realize it had been that long. Most days just seem to meld into the next, especially when you CAN’T GET A DECENT NIGHT’S SLEEP.

So, let’s see… first things first. The Bachelor.

When I wrote my last entry, only the first show had aired. Now he’s down to the final three! My girl Jillian is still there. Except for the fact that every other word out of her mouth is “like”, which is, like, really annoying, I like her. I don’t think she will be the “one”, but who knows. So far I have been right on the money when guessing who will go home each week, but now I’m stuck. All three of these ladies are just lovely. I have no clue who he will choose. DeAnna should be back next week, maybe it will be her? And they’re going to New Zealand, so you must watch, because that is the most beautiful place on earth. Apparently, this season ends with a HUGE bomb drop, unlike “anything we’ve seen before in Bachelor history”. Maybe that means when he is talking to the final woman and we think he’s going to propose, he tells her “I really did meet the person I want to spend the rest of my life with during this process…” then turns to the cameraman and proposes.

This past month has been busy but because I take so long between entries I just can’t write about everything. Hopefully that will change soon, because I’m getting myself a LAPTOP, and will be able to update my blog from the comfort of my chair in the living room. Sitting at this desk kills me and it takes me hours and days of coming back and forth to write an entry. Soon I will be able to do everything in comfort, and only need to be at my desk to work. Because I still need my desk area to work at. Damn receipts.

On the sleep front, I’m still trying new things. I was at the MS Clinic last week and told my neurologist about my sleep problems; he prescribed a medication that should help the stiffness and spasms in my legs in case it’s restless leg syndrome waking me up. This is a different medication than the one my regular doctor prescribed for the same thing because it is also supposed to help me sleep and should only be taken at night. The stiffness in my legs is absolutely crippling, none of these meds seem to work. I do stretches as well, but it’s just another one of those symptoms we live with. Anyway, so far my new meds combined with a sleeping pill or two are helping me get through the night. I’m using my Litebook during the day and eye masks at night. The regular use of my Chi machine along with a couple visits to my chiropractor has helped the hip pain, so that is no longer an issue when lying in bed. My doctor is referring me to a sleep specialist but says it will be about a year before I can get in. I hope the Litebook helps; they say it takes about a month to feel a difference. I have to admit the past few nights I have been sleeping better, which I’m sure is a combination of everything. I really want to get off the sleeping pills, though!

I went looking for the sleep eye masks the other day. I went to a couple pharmacies that were sold out, then tried San Francisco gifts, and they only had ones with boobs. The Body Shop only had the kind you wear over your eyes to relax in the tub. The woman there suggested I try Ardene’s, which is pretty much heaven for a 12 year old girl. I said “oh, sure, I’ll get a mask with glitter and feathers…” and sure enough, they had a huge bin of them, 5 for $10. Of course I had to get a pink one with feathers that says “Princess”. The other four are about the tamest they had, with words like “Superstar!” and bright colours and glitter. They’ll do.

The weekend of January 30/31 was unlike anything I have experienced for quite some time. On Friday, Jeremy Fisher (and again, you can’t deny that is an AWESOME song when you click that link!!) was here! And on Saturday, The Polyjesters played at the Ironwood! I am THRILLED I finally got out to see some awesome live music again; I just wish they had been spaced out a week apart because two nights in a row was too much for me and I couldn’t make it to the end on Saturday

My friend Kelsey picked me up on Friday and after a yummy dinner at the Olive Garden, we went to the venue to see Jeremy. It was a sold out show, and the venue was The Gateway at SAIT, which is pretty big. Jeremy is moving on up! After his amazing show he wandered out to talk to some fans… I rolled on up to him and when he turned to me he said “hi, Donna, how are you?”and leaned in to hug me. To which my response was something cool and casual while inside I was freaking out that he’d actually remembered me. We are Facebook friends, after all. Hehe. Yeah, he wrote on my wall a couple days later and I flipped out because he doesn’t write on walls, he just accepts friend requests and updates his status. ANYWAY, I finally got all my CDs autographed. Kelsey, the sweetie that she is, actually bought me Back Porch Spirituals that night because I didn’t have it yet. Kelsey is awesome. It was the first time I had spent any time with her outside of something Polyjester related. It was well after midnight by the time I got home.

Because I get Home Care in the mornings I’m not always able to stay in bed for as long as I want/need. And I tried to nap during the day, but no luck. So I pretty much knew I wouldn’t last the night on Saturday. My friend Kim and her husband, daughter and a friend came to get me and take me over to the Ironwood. They helped me settle in at the big section the PolyFamily had reserved for close friends I was able to hang out there with Sheldon and Jason a bit, but the room packed up pretty fast and since they knew most of the people there, they were busy mingling. When PolyDad Barry arrived he tripped over my wheelchair wheel and went FLYING SMASH BANG BOOM to the floor. I was scared shitless (because in my life, falls are a pretty big deal) but he got up with no struggle and apologized to ME for being such a klutz and Jason yelled “get that drunk guy outta here!” from across the room. Oh, to be a healthy and vibrant 60+ year old man!

Anyway, it was so good to see everyone I hadn’t seen in so long (Sander even flew in from Ottawa for the show!) and I’m definitely having dinner at the Ironwood again soon. Their new menu is even better than their last one and the food was amazing. My friend Shawna arrived during their second set, and since she had a headache and I was dead tired, her and Kim helped me out of there just as the set was ending and Shawna took me home. So I missed the encore(s) and being able to hug and say good night to everyone, but I know they understand.

You can see photos from that weekend on my Facebook page if you’re my Friend, or the public album is right here. Also, check out the boys stepping outside their “zone” and doing a little Metallica:

On Monday my friend Pam came over and we went to the mall for some lunch and shopping. I decided to buy the supplies I need to grow a bunch of cat grass… Pepper loves the stuff, and the Chia grass I got for Christmas is dead and gone. So I bought some seeds and a couple small pots and a big bag of soil. Then we passed San Francisco gifts where they had a display of battery operated puppies barking away… and I caved. It would have been like walking past suffering puppies in a puppy mill and not taking one home. Only not. Ah, it was 8 bucks, gimme a break. He doesn’t bark though… he plays music and says “hello? Hello? Hellooo?” and my cats are scared of him. Pam had taken a Reiki course the day before, so she practiced on me later and gave me a really good treatment. I have trouble ‘receiving’ those treatments though - as proven during the many Quantum Release Therapy sessions I had a couple years ago and my mom also giving me Reiki - because I have a lot of blockages. A LOT. I don’t know when the break through will happen, but I hope it is soon.

Anyway, aside from all that, my life has been its now-normal quiet self. I should have my laptop (Macbook!! When I’m going to add to my credit card debt, I do it right!) very soon and then I hope to write witty observations on a very regular basis. In fact, I plan to write a book because somehow I have to buy a house in Russell, Bay of Islands, New Zealand and hire my own caregivers and stuff. I have no clue what it will be about, but I need to do it and make a shitload of cash like a certain stay-at-home mom who woke up from a dream and wrote Twilight.

“I would like to audition for the next ‘Twilight’ movie, please”

If you’ve sent me an email in the last while, I will get back to you eventually. I’m a little overwhelmed at the moment with work and life, and the slew of emails that hit me recently are going to have to wait. I’m much better at a sentence or two on Facebook then I am at composing letters these days!

So, I am watching The Bachelor this season. I haven’t watched a Bachelor in a few years, but I did watch The Bachelorette last season after seeing DeAnna Pappas on Ellen a couple of times and deciding I liked her. From the very first episode with the 25 men there, I had Jason pegged as THE ONE. And every week that she asked him to stay, I squealed in delight. When he was one of the final two, I was 100% positive they would end up together and live happily ever after. When she chose Jesse, I screamed at the TV and cursed her stupidity. Naturally, DeAnna and Jesse have since broken up, but JASON got the gig as the new Bachelor. So I want to see who he ends up with; he seems like such a nice guy, so real… and that little boy of his? What a doll. Of course, to add some extra drama to the series (because it so needs more drama) DeAnna will be coming back and most likely telling Jason she still loves him and wants to marry him… so, yeah, I’m looking forward to watching this season. Except for the parts they air before going to commercial, all the dramatic scenes coming up that aren’t nearly as exciting as they make them sound, which is one reason why I stopped watching it years ago in the first place. “Reality” shows have a bit of a PROBLEM with that. There was a girl from Calgary there the first night, but she was sent home (no surprise, as she got no time alone with him; damn polite Calgarians need to step it up in the pushiness department in cases like this). There is still another Alberta woman there (although she lives in Vancouver now). Her name is Jillian and she has an interesting theory about men and what they put on their hot dogs. I like her, and at this point am rooting for her, just because. I’m sure I’ll change my mind by next week.

We had a Chinook Friday night! That means, the weather has warmed up and it is quite possible the snow in the parking lot will melt so that I can actually take my scooter out this week. I tried to go the other day when it was sunny, but we have just had too much snow this winter already, and the parking lot is dangerous. Lumpy and topply and in need of a good plowing, right down to the cement. So I turned around and came back inside, sad and defeated. I really want to be able to go out again!!! I never mentioned that when I went out on the 31st the parking lot was about like it is now, and although I made it, it was not without incidence or close calls and “Oh My God!” yelps. So I won’t be taking chances like that again. Not until they make mini snowplows to attach to the front of scooters.

Last week when I had to turn around and come back inside, I called my dad for help. I really had to get to the bank and deposit a couple of cheques. So the following day my dad and brother came over and we drove to the mall with my wheelchair. I was able to get my banking done and refill a couple prescriptions, and picked up some valerian root to see if it would help me sleep (it didn’t). We also went to the newly-renovated Smitty’s restaurant in the mall, which has completely turned itself around. The food was great and the service excellent. What the…?

So, sleeping… still not doing it. I’ve increased the amount of time I spend on my Chi Machine, which I think is actually helping my hip pain a bit and relaxing me. Other than that, I still lay awake for hours and hours and hours every night. At the suggestion of a friend I ordered a Litebook, as I’m 99.9% sure I have SAD and have been meaning to get one of those for ages. I hope it arrives soon and that it helps. I was actually told many years ago by an occupational therapist who was giving me tips for sleep (this is a long term condition that has gotten a lot worse over the years) to get two hours of sunlight every morning, which is not possible in this climate. So this light will give me that.

One of my clients I’m doing some work for today has an accountant that just pisses me off. He is so condescending to me and talks to me like I’m an idiot. He also gives me ridiculous year end adjusting entries that make no friggin’ sense and changes things that didn’t need to be changed in the first place. I won’t get into it because a) it will bore the hell out of you, and b) you won’t get what I’m talking about unless you are an accountant or bookkeeper yourself. It’s just… sometimes the bookkeeper is NOT an idiot, and her insight into the company books, since she works with them every week as opposed to you sticking your nose in once/year, might be worth a phone call before you go bullying her with your God-like behaviour. Making a remark like “the owner is not subject to EI” when I have been processing the owner’s payroll and T4 for umpteen years and OBVIOUSLY KNOW THAT is redundant. Shut up.

Well, I’m off for another Chi machine session, some food, and a little Golden Globe red carpet action.