Can You Hear Me Now?

I received this message from a friend today:

“When I am rich and famous I will buy you a hunky Second Cup bitch. he will exist only to run out and buy vanilla soy latte’s for you at your every whim. he will live in your closet, even though you will be in a mansion. after all his sole purpose is to serve you lattes and look damn sexy doing so. ”

Yessssss.

I figured it was time once again to make fun of the various internet search phrases that land people at my blog. However, most of them have been pretty “normal” this year. A few that caught my eye:

• masturbating in front of doctor (ewwwwwww!)
• hot paramedics (So, I am not the only one who notices this).
• Saskatchewan gay blog (Yes. I can see why you ended up here).
• marry me a newfie girl (With grammar like that, who would want you?)
• where montreal fashionistas hang out (Chez Cora’s! Duh!)
• donna and cats and ms and blogs (You found me!)
• single sluts calgary (You found me again!)
• what does “we should go out sometime” mean? (He’s just not that into you. Unless, of course, he follows up).
• mall dress-up games that i can i can play right now (Huh?)
• what to do if you don’t hear i love you back (Realize that he’s just not that into you).
• my girlfriend put me in a dress and put lipstick on me (Hi, Jason!)
• sex with my housekeeper (ewwwwwwww! NOT MINE!)
• emma needs to trust new humans (Hee!)

I got a call from my brother last night around 9:30. “Are you going to be up for awhile?” I said yes, (because, you know, Desperate Housewives is on at 10:00 p.m.) and he said he had a surprise for me and would be by in about half an hour.

He showed up at my door with a STEREO. A nice 5-CD player (I have a super cheap one disc player). He said “this was on sale, and I figured you need one. I’ll come over on Tuesday and set it up.” And with that, he was off.

My brother bought me a stereo.

I’m still in shock.

This position just cracks me up.

Pita likes to play with the writing as it scrolls across the screen.

How did I spend my Ralph bucks?** Well, most of it went to my chiropractor, but I decided I would take $100 and do something I have always wanted to do: get hypnotized and find out about my past lives and cell memories. What the hell, why not?!

After reading this book by Sylvia Browne a few years ago, the whole cell memory concept was intriguing to me and I wondered if my cells were holding on to a memory from a past life, and if that is why I have MS? Or overeat? Or (insert whatever problem here)?

A month or so ago when I was first looking into hypnosis (I ended up going for Psych-K instead) I came across Glenda, who does past life regression hypnosis. We chatted for a long time and I knew that I wanted to get her over here at some point, my curiosity getting the better of me. With unplanned cash coming my way, I decided to make an appointment, so she came over this morning.

I wasn’t very good at placing myself so that I knew the year, country, my name, etc. every time. But I did come out with the following, whether or not they are fact, I’ll never really know:

• I saw myself at about 17 years of age, in about 1843. I was wearing a navy blue dress, black boots, and a scarf on my head. I was in a field and walked towards my house, where my mom, Lily, was cooking. We worked hard. I don’t remember ever seeing my father, but I had an older brother named Sam. I died young in an accident while working on the farm. Nothing significant there…
• I saw myself as a 35 year old black man named George, married to Grace, 8 year old twins (one boy, one girl). Living in Africa. Very happy, healthy and successful. Glenda made sure to point out that yes, I can have a successful and happy relationship (I guess I just have to be a man to do it).
• Okay this was a doozy… tears welled up in my eyes when I remembered it, I really felt it… I was a 7 year old boy named Christopher. I was horribly abused by my parents, lots of kicking and hitting and yelling. We were poor and I was often sent to my room without supper and there wasn’t a lot of food to eat ever anyway. I was terribly skinny. I hung myself in my bedroom closet when I was 15.
• The last one we did was me as a young woman, not sure what age, maybe late teens or early 20’s. I was camping with my friends. I don’t remember ever seeing any of my own family at any point. Coming home from camping, I was in a car accident and ended up paralyzed from the neck down. I felt very helpless and worthless for a long time, but I must have smartened up because I sensed that I married and lived a long life. Although it seemed like I always lived in a nursing home or hospital or something.

Glenda figures the last two are significant to my current health. That maybe because I was starved and abused as a young boy, I now eat for protection and because I CAN. Then of course, the being paralyzed can be a cell memory for MS in this life. I could have been around the same age as my accident when I was diagnosed with MS or first experienced symptoms. That makes sense because my first symptom was at 19 and they kept coming back until my diagnosis at 28. Anyway, she “released” these cell memories. It will be interesting to see if anything changes over the next couple months.

Oh, and we went to the “other side” for a few minutes, but it appears I do not want to know my future, because I was unable to open my “file” after I found it. Plus my spirit guide didn’t have much to say to me except “believe”. Believe in yourself, believe you can heal, believe in your abilities. Just believe.

After she left, I plugged my telephones back in and there was one message – just some strange country music being played into the phone. Hehe it was AH, which I find quite interesting since he apparently shares a name with my Spirit Guide!

I want to talk about the last couple days and stuff too, but there is just too much! I’ll have to write about it tomorrow or something. This week is all work, work, work at home, with no other excitement planned, so I’ll need things to write about anyway. In the mean time…

This is my blog’s Word Cloud. Cool huh?

**Ralph bucks = the $400 prosperity cheques everyone in Alberta recently received, masterminded by our Premier, Ralph Klein.

I saw AH briefly today as he dropped off a movie and returned my cookie tins from the Christmas baking I gave him. When I talked to him earlier, he mentioned that it is tradition to never return tins or containers empty… so his mom put “a little something in there” for me. I got all excited… his mom is always cooking, and usually Middle Eastern food… I bet I’m getting homemade falafels or hummus or something! Yum! When I opened the tin in anticipation, there was a box of Nature Valley trail mix bars inside. I laughed my head off. I don’t know why I found that so funny… I guess I’ve always thought of his mother as some sort of perfect homemaker Goddess who always has homemade everything just laying about, ready to serve the multitude of children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews that come traipsing into her house at any given time. That buying a box of granola bars from the store would be unheard of when you can sow your own oats and tend to the bees out back for honey and make your own from scratch. So this suddenly made her seem more real and human to me. Apparently, his mom was a little upset that AH didn’t give her any notice that he was returning the tins today. Damn him, I bet I WOULD have gotten falafels if he had!! Hehe

Now, when I finish the granola bars, do I have to return the box, filled with something else? Hmmm…

Lynne was looking for volunteers to tag for this Meme. Since I like doing this kind of stuff, I’m just going ahead and taking it!

Four jobs I’ve had in my life:

• Babysitter extraordinaire
• Souvenir sales at the Calgary Stampede
• Sales clerk in a shoe store
• Office Manager/Administrative stuff to death

Four movies I would watch over and over:

• When Harry Met Sally
• Cinema Paradiso
• This is Spinal Tap
• The Sound of Music

Four places I have lived:

• Winnipeg, Manitoba
• Calgary, Alberta
• Toronto, Ontario
• Mississauga, Ontario

Four TV shows I love to watch:

• Sex and the City (Yes, I watch the re-runs over and over!)
• Desperate Housewives
• Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
• Medium

Four places I’ve been on vacation:

• New Zealand
• Long Beach, California
• Toronto
• Montreal

Four of my favorite foods:

• Pizza
• Falafels (depends who makes them, though!)
• Mashed potatoes and gravy
• Dairy Queen soft serve

Four places I’d rather be right now:

• In a mud bath in New Zealand
• At the pub (any pub) watching some good live music and having a beer and a few laughs
• Hanging out with Jason and his family at their house eating dumplings
• Curled up in the arms of The Perfect Man, watching a movie. Or something

Four sites I visit daily:

• Myspace
• There’s quite a few blogs I visit everyday
• Go Fug Yourself
• The PolyForum

Four bloggers I am tagging:

• Lisa
• Michelle
• Emma
• Russ

(I know they read this so they’ll see it, no excuses! Muahahaha!)

Hug Someone? Yes, many people!

Get Into a Fight? I’m a lover, not a fighter.

Cry? Yes

Smoke? No, not for 10 years exactly!

Drink Alcohol? Socially, with people of bad influence. All of you.

Kiss Someone on the Cheek? Yes

Reunite With an Old Friend? Hmmm I will count bumping into Pete when I was in Montreal… any time I see him, which is so rare, is reuniting with an old friend.

Get Suspended? No! Not even from Access Calgary, and no warning letter this year either. Heh

Let Something Go? I’m always working on that.

Learn an Important Lesson? Again, something I’m always doing (the hard way!)

Get a Kiss on the Cheek? Yes Read the rest of this entry »

Got this idea from Shauna. Type “(your name) needs” into Google and see what you get.

• Donna needs party caricatures!
• Donna needs two hands to keep things steady.
• Donna needs your help NOW!!!
• Donna needs a good reason to work on her reading.
• Donna needs address labels.
• Donna needs a loving, nurturing adoptive family who can accept her limitations while encouraging her to strive to meet her potential.
• Donna needs a makeover.
• Donna needs to find a boyfriend so her acidic mother Flo won’t think she is gay, celibate or repellant to men.
• Donna needs to press on, she is wonderful.
• Donna needs no introduction to Beard members-she is a frequent visitor to Jim’s kitchen.
• Donna needs some sort of weapon/accessory like a lasso, net, or maybe a staff.
• Donna needs to go to the bank, the post office, the supermarket, get her hair cut, or just meet a friend for lunch.

And finally:

• Donna needs to have some drunken one night stands and get her groove back.

Why yes, come to think of it, I do need address labels.

The last thing I feel like doing these days is updating my blog (soooo-o-o-o tired) but a couple interesting things have happened lately and I figure I better write about them before I forget, since this is, after all, more or less a record of my life!

On Thursday night I went to see Danny Michel. I have been a fan of Danny’s for a long time, but have missed his live shows in the past and usually heard about them after the fact because I wasn’t on his mailing list. Duh. Anyway, he was at the Liberty Lounge and I rounded up Michelle, Jay and his wife Katrina to meet me there. We were all, it’s fair to say, blown away. Danny took to the stage with just his guitar and no band to back him up. The whole show was like that, just a man and his guitar, his voice and a few gadgets to enhance his performance a bit. I loved it. He was amazing. I love the song “When I Get Out” 300 million times more than I did before, after hearing it live. I love everything about him even more after seeing him live. Read the rest of this entry »

I have been receiving some nice emails from readers of my blog lately. Usually they are from people with MS or who have someone in their family with MS. This blog isn’t exactly about MS, but as a person that lives with it, I can’t help but mention it sometimes or how it’s affecting me in my day to day life. Like these days… BLAH is all I have to say!!

This lead me to look again at the most popular search phrases that people are using to stumble upon my blog. I was expecting to see the words “multiple sclerosis” in there somewhere, but they’re actually not! I am, however, still VERY AMUSED by some of these phrases and feel the need to share some with you again: Read the rest of this entry »

I’m not even going to bother telling you about how much fun I had with the Polyjesters on Saturday night, I am just going to show you. Shits and giggles, I tell ya.

The “Emma Shot”

Poor Sheldon was so sick, he was popping drugs and booze vitamins and herbal concoctions all night!

Me and Jason Valleau

Me and Scott Duncan

Me and Sheldon Valleau

GIVE US A KISS:

IN MY PANTS!!
I was laughing so hard I was shaking, so it’s a little blurry and grainy. And there is no way I would have been able to get him to do this again so I could get it right.

LOTS of laughs that night

“Look, I can lick my own nipple!!”

Valleau Sandwich.

Good times. Who’s the Best Band In The World??? (We missed ya, Rob. I hope they didn’t eat your cookies).