Can You Hear Me Now?

It’s Christmas Eve day. 10 days since I last updated! My excuse is that my vision is still double and my balance is still way off and I’ve been feeling crappy, and I don’t like writing when I’m feeling crappy. Because it’s all I seem to focus on and it doesn’t do any of us any good to focus on the ill health of anyone.

Which brings me to the reason for today’s post. A few days ago I started listening to a 5 CD set called The Law of Attraction: The Teachings of Abraham. It’s amazing, and it makes me wish I had never given any of my money to the marketing machine infomercial that is The Secret. THIS is The Secret, but Abraham’s been teaching it a lot longer, and better.

It’s that same old principle… we are what we think. Our thoughts create our life experiences, good and bad. Ever notice that the person who speaks often about ill health, has it? (Hello!) NO MORE!!! Ahhh I’ve said it a million times. Seriously, though, I have to stop. I have to stop talking with people about the “rough times I’m going through” with my health, or how much of a downward spiral I seem to be in the past couple years with regards to it, etc. etc. People ask me all the time because they care, but I need to steer that conversation towards something more positive.

I’ve only listened to the first 3 of the 5 CDs and I already know it is the best purchase I’ve made in a long time. Once you can get past the weird stuff… that Abraham is a spiritual entity channeled by Esther Hicks, and speaks through her physical being… and actually listen to what he/they have to say, it is very powerful and makes a lot of sense. Yesterday I took a few hours with CD #2 and typed out some of it, so that I can read it out loud every day. It’s the part where they talk about the “workshop” you spend time in every day to think about and feel the emotions involved in what you want, and begin deliberate creation. We are magnets, and what we think about the most and talk about the most draws to us more of the same. So think the good stuff to GET the good stuff.

I made a Law of Attraction Workshop page. Every word is taken from that CD as Abraham spoke. If you find it useful, you can refer to it whenever you want, as well. Better yet, buy the CDs, because this is only a fraction of the approximately 6 hours of discussion on the CDs!

Pay It Forward Update

The final amount raised was $580, and I spent every penny of it and more. When Kim was here on the 14th, she brought it all back with her the next day. Her sister works for the shelter so it was all delivered. I’m assuming the ladies and kids will be getting stockings and gift bags to open Christmas morning, and our gifts will be included in that. A lot of the items I purchased off eBay, cutting that off Nov. 20 to give the items time to get here. Everything arrived in great condition and on time, except this one woman I bought a bunch of Avon stuff from… I paid Nov. 19 and just received them last week. They weren’t shipped until Dec. 6!!! I was SO upset. What the hell am I supposed to do with 40 lip balms??? I spent $70 of my own money on that lot of stuff. She got some negative feedback from me, that’s for sure. Anyway, some of the make up I will keep (mascaras) and I gave the slippers to my home care worker. Next time I see Kim I’ll probably just give her the rest to drop off at the shelter another time. The make up is brand new, there are 40 sealed lip balms, and 4 new bottles of body iotion…

Anyway, if you include that lot, I spent $673 so even without all that, I did not waste any of YOUR money! Thank you again to everyone who contributed!!!

Oh, remember last entry I mentioned that my friend Pam gave me those healing stones? And that the Jade went flying across the room somewhere when I went to put it under my pillow? Well, last night I decided to take the two other stones I had tucked in my pillowcase at the bottom of my pillow out, because today I’d ask my home care worker to change the bed sheets. I didn’t want the stones flying out when she removed the pillowcase. So, I reached my hand in to retrieve the two stones I knew where there… and pulled out three. The Jade was there. WTF?? Seriously?? So, what’s that, a ghost? Or maybe just my home care worker found the Jade on the floor and being from India, knew what it was for and put it with the others. I guess I could have asked her, but I kind of like the *not knowing*. That’s way more fun.

So if I haven’t freaked you out yet with all my spiritual new age frou frou talk, I’ll end this by wishing you and yours a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year, etc. etc. I hope you have a safe and warm holiday with lots of love, food, and frolic! My brother is coming over and we’ll get that food part down good, I think. Mom left us one of her amazing cheese balls!!

Pita wishes you a Merry Christmas

Pepper also wishes you a Merry Christmas

I figured I should update y’all on the Pay It Forward project. So far, I have collected $550! See, all your little $10-15-20 contributions added up. Some people gave even larger amounts, which is so awesome. This week I received $100 (combined), so yesterday I went and picked up some more pajamas and a few more things from Dollarama (brushes, soap). I’m trying to keep photos of what I’ve bought up to date at Flickr. Later today my friend Kim arives and she’s staying the night, so on Saturday she will bring everything I’ve bought so far to the shelter. I’m not done yet, though… I’m making December 23 the official cut-off for contributions, giving me one last day to shop, before the remainder of what I get goes to the shelter on Christmas day. I was hoping to reach at least the $800 mark, but I’ve done pretty good! My living room is pretty full of stuff, but we need MORE PAJAMAS.

So, to sum it up: if you haven’t contributed yet, you have until December 23 to do so! Use the paypal button at the end of the entry, or email me (donna@innereyes.com) for other payment options. Thank you all SO MUCH!! (All money is going towards buying necessities for the women and children escaping abusive relationships at CAWES. A quick peek at their website just now tells me that Alberta has the highest rate of family violence in Canada, and leads the country in domestic assault, homicide-suicide amd stalking. Oh, yay for us. *shudder*

My vision is still double, and it’s REALLY annoying. Screws up my balance and everything, too. It’s been over two weeks… I sure hope it’s temporary!! I went blind in 1999 for 6 weeks, and that went away (leaving my right eye messed up, but at least I could see again) so I am hoping this is like that. No longer than 6 weeks!!! Double vision 24 hours a day SUCKS ASS.

Last weekend we did Christmas early. It was the only time my mom and brother could both be here… my brother is moving this weekend, and Mom and Bob leave next week for New Brunswick. They’re spending Christmas with Bob’s family out there (including all his grandkids!) So my brother came over here, which he hasn’t been able to do for months. His work is keeping him soooo busy, and now moving. We exchanged gifts; of course, money towards my new electronic lift chair was my main gift I already received, but I still got a few other things. My mom can’t handle not having presents for us to open! I got a new microwave oven, which is awesome. I’ve had this old thing I got used, many years ago, without a turntable thingy, and it did an awful job. The new one is great, stuff is heating up way faster, and evenly! Yay. I also got a nice large basket to collect my recycled bottles and cans (instead of the green garbage bag I had been using), and a shower shelf to keep all my bathroom stuff on! Mom gave us stockings filled with goodies that I am quickly making my way through. Darren gave me a DVD (Number 23) and the one I ordered for him didn’t arrive until this past Monday, so he’ll get it on Christmas. We are doing our own little Christmas this year, just us.

Oh, and before my brother came over, my friend Pam popped by for a bit. She brought me a mini-loaf of her freshly baked banana chocolate chip bread, as well as some great pressies (hemp soaps and candle, and some healing stones). I’m not sure how to use the stones, but that is why we have Google. Last night I decided to take the Jade stone (for sleep problems) and keep it under my pillow for the night. Why not, right? I’m desperate to get off sleeping pills and will try anything. The plan was, to put the stone inside my pillowcase, under the pillow. Not to drop it as I was getting into bed, and have no idea where it ended up.

I bought a cheap CD player for my bedroom, and have been listening to various relaxation CDs to try and get to sleep without pharmaceuitcal interference. It’s not happening yet, but it may take time!

Anyway, Saturday night my mom stayed over, and between Saturday night and Sunday, lots was done around here. My office became a place I am able to work in again, and a few trips to the garbage dumpster were made. My place is “tidy” again, which makes such a huge difference. This vision/balance things has made every move more difficult and I’ve been feeling so useless. I wonder if I’ll be weaning off my anti-depressants any time soon? I’m still seeing my psychologist at the mind/body medicine clinic, and next week I’ll be talking to the psychiatrist there about getting off these meds. I figure it will be basic weaning, 10mg less every couple weeks or so until I’m off them. I don’t want to need them. Being sad because your vision is fucked up and you’re unable to do even the most basic of tasks for yourself is totally normal. Even on the dose I am taking, I’ve been breaking down in tears a lot lately. Which is to be expected, who wouldn’t? So I’m not sure pills are what I need. What I need, is a Time Machine to take me back to this night (I was thinking about it last night - how good I felt, how much healthier I was, how that is the night Jason and I officially became Friends, not just acquaintances, the clothes I could fit into, the just needing a cane and sometimes not even that…) When Jason was helping me into his van a couple weeks ago, I made a comment about how much things had changed since the first time I got into that van and didn’t need more than a little boost. Now it is a workout for everyone involved. I’m heavier, my MS is worse, my emotions are heavier… Jason, always the sweetie, said “you’re still the same Donna to me. You’re doing great! You’re fine! You have up and down waves with this. You’ll be just fine and I think you’re doing great”. It makes me cry just thinking about it. I love that man.

Okay, where was I before I got off on a “woe is me” tangent?? Oh, my place being tidy thanks to my mom and brother. Yes. And, of course, my home care worker helps me so much too!! I’m so grateful for that.

This week, so far, has been quiet. Lots of reading, working, going to the post office… AH picked me up from work on Wednesday, which was nice. I haven’t seen him in ages. He’s taken on an office painting project BECAUSE HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO SAY NO which is taking up his evenings and weekends. And somewhere in there he has to bring his kids Kinder Eggs every night. He started it, and now he has to keep it up hahaha!

Tonight will be nice, with Kim here. We’re going for dinner, and hopefully to see live music… but it will depend on how I feel… I’ve been such a party pooper lately. I’ve canceleed so many plans I’ve had because of my current condition. Pleeeeeease let it be temporary!!!

Pita missed her calling

As a Tightrope Walker.

Another week goes by, another update… I meant to do one earlier, but I had a fall on Tuesday night, hit the back of my head, and knocked my equilibrium out. It’s been difficult to see at all, everything is blurry and spinning, and never mind my balance. Non-existent! Computer time has been fairly minimal. Yesterday I saw my chiropractor and he made some adjustments and gave me some homeopathic drops. I’m not as spinny today, but my vision is still really bad; blurry and seeing double. He said it would take a couple days to straighten out, and to take these drops every 1-2 hours, so hopefully that will help. I see my regular doctor on Wednesday as well, so I’ll see what he says if it’s not better by then. I’ve never gone for an IV cortisone drip like most MSers have at one time or another, and this is the first time in my life I’m actually considering it. Whatever will help my vision and balance get back to how it was before, which was bad enough!

Anyway, I’ve been busy since my last update. On Monday night I was taken out for awesome Indian food by two of my favourite people, Jason and Sheldon. We pigged out. Oh, my, I love that stuff… samosas, pokora, curry, vindaloo, butter chicken, naan bread… yum!! We were sort of celebrating the completion of their new CD artwork, on which I worked hard editing the lyrics. So they took me to dinner as a thank you. And, because it had been a loooong time since we’d hung out! Anyway, the CD is ALL done now, and should be ready to buy in time for Christmas. Keep an eye on their website and Facebook group for the latest updates!

Lovely self-portrait attempt of me and Jason

I love Jason!!

Sheldon and the FOOD. Sooooo good.

Pay It Forward update:

On Tuesday, I went to the mall and piled up on things for the ladies and kids at the shelter… I bought many pairs of pajamas and slippers! The store that had slippers 2 for $15 last week now has them at 2 for $12! We now have about 10 pairs of ladies slippers (sizes 5 - 10) and 6 pairs of kids. I bought some 2 piece pajama sets in a variety of sizes (small to 3X) and a couple nightgowns. I also took a swing through Dollarama for hair brushes and emery boards. I added a few pictures to the Flickr album, but I kept everything in the boxes because it is just too hard to lay it all out to take photos, I hope you understand! (The cutest slippers are at the bottom of the box. Darn!) Anyway, I’m getting lots of stuff, but still need more! Thanks to everyone who has contributed so far, and if you re able to help out (all $$ is going to buy necessities for the Central Alberta Women’s Emergency Shelter) please use the PayPal button below, or contact me (donna@innereyes.com) to send money another way.

Tuesday night I fell trying to close the office door behind me to LOCK PITA IN to keep her from running outside when I was going to open the front door. That damn cat! I love her to pieces, but she has caused me about 4 falls now (including the one when I broke my wrist) because she always has to run for the frickin’ door and out into the hallway. I don’t know what to do with her!! I can’t chase her or even bend over to pick her up without falling, so she gets out there and then I have to wait until someone else comes along to help, or she jumps up on my walker (at which point I can lift her inside) or she comes back in on her own accord. Which she doesn’t do anymore, because she likes the hallway… she knows behind every other door is a person who could potentially pay attention to her. Every time someone enters the hall, I ask them to “please scare my cat back inside!” and they go “awwww, she’s so cute…” and pet her and give her love. So of COURSE she wants to be out there! Sigh. The landlord has given me shit because “cats are not allowed in the halls, people have allergies” but I can’t HELP IT!

Wednesday morning, blurry eyed and screwy visioned/unbalanced and all, I had to go to a client’s. The second I opened the door, Pita raced between my legs and was out in the hall. Roaming up and down, crying at every door, looking for attention. Rolling on her back, showing off her cute tummy, waiting for someone to come along and snuggle her. I stood in the hallway with my winter coat on, which made me really hot; they keep our hallway at a ridiculously hot tempertaure, made only worse when you are already wearng your coat. Normally I am just walking out, so it doesn’t affect me much; but this time, I couldn’t leave until Pita was back inside, and the heat was really getting to me. The heat combined with Pita frustration got to be too much… then a door opened at the end of the hall, and Pita ran towards it. Three people exited the suite, including my landlord, who was showing an apartment to these two other people. Oh, crap. “No pets??” said one man. “uh - cats are allowed” said my landlord, as she shot me a dirty look. I was almost in tears. The heat, Pita being a brat, PMS, embarrassment… I cried out “she keeps running out the door and I CAN’T GET HER!!” (I may have stomped my feet like a 3 year old) My landlord tried to calm me down by saying, “it’s okay, I got her…” picked Pita up and put her inside my apartment. I apologized and said “I am JUST SO HOT” and she said she wasn’t allowed to turn down the heat. (Year round sauna in our halls, it’s nuts!) Anyway, I tried to keep my stupid tears at bay as those two men commented on how cute my cat was, and then went outside in the cold air to wait for my ride to work. Within seconds in the cool air I felt better… it’s so weird how that is.

Oh yeah, also on Tuesday I received a call from UPS about my electronic lift chair that I had ordered off eBay (to save $$). Because it was coming from the U.S., and was in a huge cardboard box. it was considered freight, and I needed to hire a broker to get it through Customs. Ack! I was referred to a one-time brokerage firm, and they helped me with the paperwork and charged me over $100. Thankfully, I only had to pay broker fees and GST. N0 duty. Thank GOD. The chair then crossed the border Tuesday night, and would be delivered on Thursday.

Thursday I was supposed to go out for dinner with my friend Melanie. I told her about my condition after my fall, and that it would be best if I didn’t go anywhere. So she offered to come over and hang with me instead, order food in, stuff like that. Cool! I received the call from UPS about my chair around noon, and they said it would be here within the hour. Then Melanie called, and asked if she could come over now, because she had been out shopping and didn’t feel like going home and then all the way out here again. Okay, sure, but I’m not even DRESSED. Anyway, UPS arrives… one guy with this huge cardboard box on a dolly. “I can’t get it through the doors” he says. “Can’t you take it out of the box?” I ask. He’s not authorized to do that… “we’re not furniture movers… we just deliver to your door. I can leave it on your patio.” (He couldn’t get it through my patio doors because of that big pole I have in the middle). So, brand new electronic lift chair on the patio in the freezing cold. There is no way Melanie would be able to lift it in. So, I call my client Troy… he does upholstery work and has big Sprinter vans and technicians who are used to moving around furniture. Fingers crossed, “Hi Troy, it’s your favourite bookkeeper…” wink wink. Troy, because he is amazing and awesome, was at my place within an hour with one of his techs, Dave. (I managed to quickly shower and throw clothes on just in time for Mel’s arrival moments before). They unpacked the chair, moved it inside, set it up (”we work on these kinds of chairs so if you ever have any problems, we probably have the parts to fix it”), removed my old ripped up recliner and all the cardboard to take to the dump, and were off. Talk about service!!! If you are in the Calgary area and own or buy a piece of furniture from a major retailer (La-Z-Boy, Leon’s, The Brick, etc.) and it needs repair, you tell them you want Customer Choice Upholstery to do the repair!!!

So, in the end, the chair is here, safe and sound, and it is perfect… however, I am very lucky to know someone like Troy. Otherwise I may have ended up needing to pay a furniture mover a LOT of money to come on such short notice and do all of that! Plus to remove the old chair… a junk removal place had quoted me $111! I emailed the eBay seller and warned him to advise any other potential Canadian customers (I was his first) of the extra fees and work involved with getting their chair moved in. The chair cost me $999 US, plus $175 UPS shipping plus $105 broker fees… still a savings overall (this chair costs about $2,000 here) but I’m going to have to get Troy and Dave nice thank-you gifts!!

This is why it’s called a Lift chair. No more struggling to get up! (Spots are from my camera. Oops)

Fully reclined. Everything important within reaching distance… latte, water, vitamins, drops, remotes, books, kleenex…

Melanie and I broke out a bottle of wine, watched Elf, ordered Chinese food and just hung out. We were celebrating her birthday (which had been on Monday) and the fact that she landed a sweet 3 month contract working up in Fort MacMurray for mega $$. She left Saturday. I hope it works out for her!

Me and Mel at Pam’s birthday party a couple weeks ago!

Friday my monthly housekeeper came, which was good because I am pretty useless for any of that at the moment. Melanie had helped me load the dishwasher and stuff the night before. My intentions of working on Friday were tossed out the window… I’m just too OUT of it. I just watched a movie that night with one eye and spent a lot of time cuddling kitties in my new chair.

Saturday (yesterday) was the chiropractor, and hopefully I’m on my way back with my equilibrium. My mom and Bob took me out to eat at this Asian place they had tried once before, but I was not a big fan. LOVED my spring rolls, but hated my curry… I guess an Asian restaurant isn’t the best place to get a curry dish. I sent it back because the chicken was nothing but stringy fat. Gross! Most of the menu was pork or seafood dishes. I’d rather stick to my Favourite Vietnamese Restaurant and my #50 chicken satay, any day of the week!

Today I slept in something awful, (I mean, I slept in late, not that I slept in… like… something other than my bed) and finally decided to shower around 4:30 when I could no longer stand the smell of myself. It’s one of those days…

Time to take more drops and rest my eyes settle in for the night… PayPal link below is for my Pay It Forward project! Thanks!

New favourite hangout - the piles of clothes going to the Salvation Army.

Hi. I’ve been busy. And on Facebook.

Oh, speaking of, I started an MS With Attitude group over at Facebook. If you’re on FB, please join it. Even if you don’t have MS. Maybe you know someone who does, or someone who is in your friends list knows somebody who does, and when they see you join the group, they will too, and so on, and so on!! Oh, by the way, my Fan Club is gone. It was a cute idea for fun at first, but after awhile it’s like… why, exactly? Heh. So I asked Emma to delete it. So, if you missed out on being one of my 50 FANS over there, you now have your chance at MS With Attitude. Thanks!!

Is anybody not on Facebook? I’m having coffee with three friends from high school again on Monday. I’m loving this! Today, out of the blue, after 22 years, I received a phone call from an old friend. She actually found me on Classmates, but I talked her into joining Facebook too, as she is going through that “whatever happened to…” phase we all go through, and she’ll find a ton of old friends there. She lives in Edmonton now, married 11 years, 2 kids… ahhh, her and I were Duranies and we wrote a movie screenplay starring us and the members of Duran Duran. Lisa Dalbello’s album “Whomanforsays” was our soundtrack. Yes. We RULED. Judy had pink & purple hair and got me into Toyah’s music, as well. (Oh my God! Toyah is still out there making new music! Cool!)

I’ve been for two visits now to my new psychologist at the Clinic for Mind/Body medicine. I LOVE her. After only two hours I can already tell she is much better (for me) than the psychotherapist I saw several times earlier this year and quit. I guess it’s true, what they say, you need to shop around to find the right therapist! So, I’m sticking with Jennifer for awhile, and will be going weekly. On Monday she gave me two meditations on CD and a copy of a story about self-judgment from “Kitchen Table Wisdom“. It was so awesome… she already knows me so well! I’m looking forward to where this goes.

THE FIRST SEASON OF FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS IS OUT ON DVD YOU’RE WELCOME.

So… how ’bout our dollar, huh? Being an eBay addict, I am quite loving it!!! I think I’ve finished my Christmas shopping already. It is so cool to buy something in US dollars and end up paying LESS!! Loving it. I wonder how long it will last? It better last at least until the end of the week, because I’m buying an electronic lift chair. It’s an early Christmas present from my mom and Bob, and myself. We’re all pitching in because I really need one. It’s harder and harder to get out of my recliner all the time. The lift chair I’m getting is $1,175 US including delivery… to buy it locally would cost closer to $2,000 CDN. I’m getting this one in the green. YAY!!

Hey, do you think I will ever finish the entries about my trip in September? Don’t answer that.

My friend Shawna from Winnipeg is here. She’s in town for a work conference the rest of this week, but I get to see her on Saturday. Ikea, dinner, movie, that kind of thing. Should be fun! I can’t wait to see her.

Someone asked me the other day if I take anything for my ADD. WHAT is she talking about?? Heh.

I worked at my client Gerry’s place last week. I normally do his stuff at home, but he has hired a woman who works in his home studio/office to do administrative work, so I went in to set up a Simply Accounting template for her and work with her a bit on entering data. Basically, I’ll be training myself out of a job But Gerry’s a busy man (jazz musician, and he does very well!) and needs someone who can be around, looking after the day-to-day cheque printing and stuff. He’s much too far away for me to visit regularly. I’ll have to go back a couple more times, and then I think I’ll just receive the back-up files every few months to check them over. His assistant is a smart girl, I think she’ll catch on quick! She’s also a musician, a cellist, and teaches Gerry’s kids piano. So… I guess I just have to hope she doesn’t leave for greener pastures or a major tour right after she’s trained! Gerry lives across the street from my friend/client Ken (which is how I met Gerry) so Ken took me out for dinner afterwards. AND drove me home, from waaaay up in the N.W., which saved me at least an hour with Access. They had me scheduled for a 6:00 pick-up, “estimated drop off time, 7:30″. When Ken heard that, he told me to cancel and he’d drive me home. Thank God!

I started this post on Oct. 18 and when I went to finish it, my blog was down. Then I had a super busy weekend and wasn’t able to get on here. Then I went to finish it, and my blog was (still?) down. Fingers crossed that it stays up long enough for me to finish it THIS time.

Started October 18 ~

We interrupt our vacation postings for a general ramblings post because it’s been a LONG TIME and I know you’re all wondering what’s going on in my life right now.

At this moment, I am trying to avoid obsessively refreshing my eBay selling page to see if anyone is bidding higher. There are a few hours left on couple things I’m selling, and I keep checking back. So I decided to come here to keep my mind off of it.

Yesterday I worked at Troy’s, and one of those Access drivers that has a crush on me picked me up. He’s the sweetest man. When I say “crush” with him I don’t seriously think he has a romantic crush on me… I think he just wishes I was his daughter or something. Although, he always offers to come over and scoop the cat litter and do housework AND make me coffee, so you never know. Yesterday he stopped at Mac’s for me and got me a large Seattle’s Best coffee. Some of these wonderful drivers really make up for the bad Access experiences I have! Oh, that reminds me, I should call Access and give him a compliment. They like to get positive feedback, they receive so little!

Okay, done. ****Refresh eBay page**** YAY!! All my stuff has bids so will sell for sure.

So what else… oh, Rob Szabo and Peter Katz are here this weekend!!! That’s right!! Saturday night at the Ironwood, anyone reading in the Calgary area had better be there!!! They’re touring Western Canada together again like they did last year. Remember, last year I got them their gig at Original Joe’s (ignore anything I say about that new food plan that lasted 2 months in that entry). This year, Rob made his mark at the Ironwood in April, and will never have to worry about scrambling to get a gig in this city again!

Oh, and speaking of Access drivers, I have hardly talked to AH lately! He did babysit my kitties while I was away, keeping them fed and actually scooped the litter this time (I gave him a lecture about that, and supplied dust masks). Then it was Ramadan, and since he doesn’t allow himself to even look at another woman during that time, (I asked him how that is possible, and he told me if he catches himself looking, he remembers it’s Ramadan and looks away immediately and thinks only pure thoughts. Whatever…) so he certainly isn’t going to talk to one on the phone. But I do intend to take him out for dinner (Olive Garden if we can get in, he still has never been there) to thank him for looking after my cats, I’m just not holding my breath for when it will actually happen.

The Polyjesters are almost finished their new CD!!! How excited am I? I can’t even put it into words. Jason has sent me the (possible) CD cover artwork, and it’s awesome. So I released the song titles to their Facebook group. Then, because of some help I gave him last week, he sent me two of the newly recorded songs. OMG. I also have 6 other very rough mixes of new songs on the CD and one that didn’t make the cut. Are you jealous? Yes, you are. OMG. I am soooo excited!!! It’s going to be so, so, so, so, so, so good!! Jason said Emma and I will get special seating and attention at their CD release. I think they should fly Emma out, no? And I requested my special chair be of the La-Z-Boy electronic lift variety.

***then my blog was down***

Continued October 24 ~

Obviously, it’s too late for y’all to see Rob, that was this past Saturday. And I’ve since sold another lot of items on eBay, will be shipping today or tomorrow. I’ve currently got a bunch of CDs up for sale… I’m cleaning stuff out!

I am anxiously awaiting The Office Season Three DVDs I ordered. I have spent the past month watching every episode, deleted scenes, bloopers, commentary episodes, etc. on my Season Two DVDs. I can’t get enough of that show. My Dunder Mifflin T-shirt is in the mail, as are some Dwight and Jim office supplies memorabilia. ADDICTED.

So, cheers to Facebook… the amount of people I am back in touch with after many, many years is astounding!! I went for coffee a couple weeks ago with my friend Carolyn and we were joined by Nancy, a woman I haven’t seen since high school! There are quite a few other school friends I’m planning to meet up with sometime soon. And I’m back in touch with my old friend Cheryl, who used to live with my former roommate Pete. I haven’t seen her since they broke up many years ago (except for a quick run-into-eachother at a Crafts fair in 2002). She came out on Saturday to see Rob and Peter! So we are going to hang out more, for sure. And then, there is Vlado…. ahhhh, Vlado…. I used to work at YTV in Toronto about 20 years ago. He was a sound engineer there, and an incorrigible flirt. It’s so cool to be back in touch with him… he is very successful in his field and has a wall of Oscars and Emmys to prove it!

Update on the AH situation - we actually went to the Olive Garden for dinner last night! Imagine that. It was fun. I drank red wine. I could barely walk afterwards; my right foot didn’t want to go flat. It liked twisting on its side. Thank goodness AH understands and was very helpful walking me inside. TWO glasses is all I had! And with a full meal! I am such a cheap date.

AH is back to being his helpful self for me… today he’s popping in to a computer supply store to pick up an adapter cord I need. I finally have my new computer set up (thanks to Rob, who did it while he was here over the weekend) but since it only has USB ports, my old printer can’t be hooked up. And I’m not getting a new one… this one was $2,300 back in its day and it’s a laser printer/fax/copier/scanner and it has served me VERY well!!

Hey, remember awhile back I was complaining about the waiting times to see specialists your doctor refers you too? And that one place told me “June, 2008″ and another told me they couldn’t even estimate, it was so far off? Well, I went to the first place today and am going to the second one tomorrow. I’m quite pleased. I’m not 100% sure either of these places will be of great help to me, but I’m giving them a shot. It’s FREE under our health care, unlike the other stuff I’ve done, like Quantum Release Therapy. Which, by the way, I went to one last time (?) a couple weeks ago, after not having been in over two months. Kevin told me he really didn’t think he could do much more, and that my physical damage is so far gone (11+ years since diagnosis, never mind all the years before that the disease activity was going on) that he can’t predict how long it would take (whereas usually he can tell his clients “3 more visits” or something). We did make great progress on the emotional side of things. And I do feel better since I last saw him… but that could be due to any number of things. Anyway, it could quite possibly end up costing me thousands and thousands of dollars and many, many visits, which I’m not able to do right now, and he doesn’t want me to. So… I have a couple other options I’m working towards in regards to improving my health, and I may toss in the odd Quantum session here and there.

Today I went to the Clinic for Mind/Body medicine, and I am hopeful. My goal here is to decrease or completely wean off my anti-depressants and sleeping pills, and improve my health overall. I will be seeing a psychologist there regularly, who I met today, and she is awesome. She’s on the same page as me with regards to pharmaceutical companies and the “over-prescribed, overpriced” MS meds, and she didn’t even balk at my mention of my quantum release therapy and how it helped me… she was very interested! The clinic works with the belief that our bodies can heal themselves (what a concept!! And this is actually funded by the Calgary Health Region, and they don’t PUSH PHARMACEUTICALS!) and the process is done through meditation, lifestyle changes, positive thinking, etc. Of course, I believe that too, and have all the tools I need to put it all into practice… my problem is with being consistent in keeping up the with the small changes. I’m hoping regular meetings with this psychologist and being held accountable (reporting in with my progress regularly) will help me stick with my program. I’m seeing her again on the 5th. She really liked me, too, so that helps.

Remember when I was in Toronto and I bought those ginger-encrusted roasted pecans at the Queen of Tarts and how much they helped my PMS and I was wishing I had brought a supply back with me? Well, guess who has 6 bags in her cupboard now? Yes, they were willing to send them to me, I emailed and begged and a nice owner let me pay with my credit card over the phone and mailed them. Awesome. ONE bag a month, at the appropriate time, is all I am allowed.

One of my cats or both of them just chewed the speaker cord off one of my brand new computer speakers.

So, yes, I had an awesome weekend. My friend Kim came out from Red Deer on Friday, and we went out for dinner to My Favourite Vietnamese Restaurant, and then she got me hooked on what Starbuck’s calls a Misto, and Second Cup calls a London Fog. (Earl Grey tea, steamed milk, vanilla syrup). I’m making those at home now too, but with whatever tea I have around (currently, vanilla… yum!) and they are $1 cheaper than lattes! But I have not given up lattes, oh no, don’t worry.

Then I forced Kim to watch several episodes of The Office. Oh, oh, oh, AND, she bought me the greatest present ever… one of those little things you see in a store and immediately think of someone and start laughing, so you must buy it for them? Yeah. It’s a cell phone holder that is a tiny pink Croc shoe!!! I love it!! Hee

On Saturday, she helped me out by going to Wal-Mart and pushing a cart home with a case of water, cat litter, and cat food. (”I must really like you… I am going to Wal-Mart on a SATURDAY!” she said). We also ate in the food court, because that Smitty’s (the only restaurant in the mall) service and food sucks balls. So instead, we had food court Chinese food, which kinda sucks balls, too.

Ohhhhh, but then it was evening. We headed to the Ironwood for 6:00, and at 6:15 on the nose (as Rob had estimated they would be there around that time) the boys arrived. They set up, we had dinner, moved tables about 4 times, etc. etc. Around 9:30 Peter Katz hit the stage and proceeded to amaze the audience… it was the best show of his I have ever seen, I was blown away.

Just as Peter started playing, my friend Cheryl arrived, which was awesome… and so did Jay and his brother Marc. Add our new friend Spencer (a friend of Rob’s) and his girlfriend Sam, we had a very full and active table. Actually, the Ironwood was packed, and so many people were singing along with Rob’s songs that it was awesome… he has so many fans here now!! Yay! Both guys sold lots of CDs and made a lot of new friends and fans.

Rob played a fabulous set as well,

For the encore, BOTH Rob and Peter took the stage and sang a couple songs and it was amazing:

The video cut off early because my camera was being wonky, but if you look at my other You Tube videos, I have the end up there too

I had to post this photo because it’s not very often you see me standing beside such a hot, young, strapping, hot, young man. This is Rob’s friend Graham, who sings in a rock band, and I met him at Rob’s gig in April. We talked a lot. He actually does have a brain and a personality, but seriously, do we care?

(I’m kidding… Graham is a sweetie and he has a gorgeous girlfriend - duh - but since he is 14 years younger than me I am allowed to tease him like he’s a toy. I think). After the show, Kim took off to meet other friends, and everyone else went home, so I sat at a table and waited for the guys to load up their gear and talk with their new fans. Rob kept me supplied with coffee and Bailey’s. Around 2:00 a.m. me, Rob and Peter headed to a 24 hour restaurant for some food… it was LOUD in there, all those late night partiers. Oh, so rarely am I one of them! It was almost 3:30 a.m. when Peter dropped Rob and I off at my place (Peter has other friends here he stays with). It was pretty much straight to bed for us. (Me = bed, Rob = couch! Geez).

The next day, Sunday, we slept in and took our time getting dressed. Around 2:00 we went to the mall for food, and actually considered Smitty’s for a moment, but Rob’s memories are not fond of it from the last time he was in town, and no one was seating us anyway. So off to the food court we went. I’m such a faaaaabulous hostess to my overnight guests. (It’s not MY fault Rob doesn’t drink coffee and lattes!). I grabbed a London Fog on the way back. Then, Rob brought my new computer into my office and my old one out, and hooked everything up, and now I am flying on here. (Not my typing, just the other computer things that involve speed). Yay!

Dinner plans, after much discussion and phone calls, ended up with meeting Peter, Spencer and Sam at the Tandoori Hut for some Indian food. It was so so so so so good! Great food, wine, and people. Good times.

You can see all the pictures I took from the weekend in my Facebook public album.

So, that was my weekend. Peter picked Rob up around 3:00 Monday afternoon and then they were off to continue the rest of their Lanky Wimps Tour.

On Tuesday, I cropped and uploaded photos and video and fiddled with my new computer and didn’t get any work done. Today, is almost over and I didn’t get any work done. Here’s to tomorrow!

“I am living in a box, I am living in a cardboard box…”

“I am living in a box, I am living in a cardboard box…”

Oh…My…God. I love my cats.

I’ve bought a few more things from eBay, but not clothes. (I think I have enough). I decided to buy a few health-related items to help me with those goals. The first thing I ordered, after seeing Suzanne Somers on a repeat of Ellen recently, was a Thighmaster. Why not? It’s one of the best selling pieces of exercise equipment ever! And it’s something I can do to strengthen muscles in my legs and arms while lying in bed or sitting back in my recliner watching TV. It is also too small to sit in the corner of my bedroom and act as a clothes rack, so that is a plus.

Then I purchased a Tai Chi DVD for Seniors. My understanding is that the seniors level is one people with MS can do if they can stand at all. I’d love to get into yoga and pilates one day, but even the beginners DVDs are way too hard for me. So I’ll try this and my Gentle Fitness DVD and COMMIT to this DAILY.

Then I bought Season Two of The Office. I won it for about half the price it is on Amazon! Yay! Laughter is, after all, the best medicine. And one of my favourite episodes of all time, The Injury, is in season two.

And finally, the big one… an ion cleanse machine. Ever since that one and only ion cleanse session I went to, I have wanted one. The machine that woman had is about $3,000 US. I’m not really sure what the difference is between these expensive models and the one I bought; I figure the expensive ones can handle more sessions/day for a business, whereas mine will be personal? Other than that, I’m not so sure. I bought mine for about $450 CDN with shipping (thanks, Visa) and this is what I’m getting. It sounds good to me, and the seller feedback is great, so, I’m happy. If I had gone back to that woman for a 10 session package, it would have paid for this one. And I never went back because she is so far away from me, and I knew I was going to end up with my own machine soon anyway, it’s on my “vision board”. I can’t wait to get it! (And the seller is kind enough to mark it as a “gift” so I won’t have to pay customs!)

So… I’m going to use my Thighmaster to strengthen some muscles; Tai Chi and gentle movements to increase my balance, strength and “chi”; laughter for fun and all the goodness that brings; ion cleanses to detoxify and give me energy, and whatever the “chi” belt does that comes with it; and still go to the odd Quantum Release session. That’s my “plan”. As usual, it’s the regular exercise I have a problem sticking with, but I must, I must, I must!!!

Hopefully regular ion cleanses will get me off my sleeping and anti-depressant meds eventually!! I’ve been trying to cut back on Paxil again on my own, but it just doesn’t work. I’m at 40mg/day, so I was doing 40-20-40-20 for a few days, and then last night I struggled like mad to get my bra off and then once I finally did, I threw the FUCKING BRA across the room, fell onto my bed and bawled like a baby. Yeah. I think I need to stay at 40mg for the time being. Although, you know, every couple weeks I think I should be allowed a 5 minute pity party to cry and get it out, and then just get on with it. I mean, sometimes it just sucks, you know? It can be very frustrating when you can’t do a simple task, so I shouldn’t think it isn’t normal behaviour to react like that once in awhile. Yeah. Okay, glad I got that sorted.

Grab a coffee! As previously warned, it’s a long one!

Topics for today:

1. Mountainview Music Festival
2. Hangin’ with Michelle
3. Lynda, my Childhood BFF
4. New Computer
5. Weight Loss Industry

1. Mountainview Music Festival

My friend Jay and his brother Marc picked me up around 3:00 to head out to Carstairs, about 45 minutes North of Calgary. Last year, this festival was a back yard party at Jason’s house. This year, it has grown into a big festival that all the surrounding towns are wanting to take place in their area next year! I was blown away by the size, and the number of people! (Probably around 850 - 1000?) The Polyjesters, their parents and a ton of volunteers had worked ’round the clock to get this thing off the ground. And was it ever worth it!! Rather than me go on and on about it, you can click these links and check out some great photos:

PDF file - Didsbury Review

PDF File - Didsbury Review pg. 2

Poster 1

Poster 2

Most of my day was spent hanging about the “backstage” area (where the beer was free hehe) and chatting with people while taking in the great live music. My friend Kim and her hubby were volunteers and had their motor home parked there, so I spent some time in there where Kim fed me lunch and gave me coffee. Woo hoo! I have awesome friends.

It was a beautiful day

Sponsorship is a very good thing.

One of the fun highlights of the Festival was the appearance by Randy and Mr. Lahey (Patrick Roach and John Dunsworth) from the Trailer Park Boys. I had to laugh because my friend Kim was chosen to drive them to their hotel the night before from a show they did in another town, and pick them up from the hotel and bring them to the Festival. The TPB designated driver (and she doesn’t even watch the show).

Mr. Lahey chats backstage

Mr. Lahey dances with a couple celebrating their anniversary

Randy is served a LARGE cheeseburger made special, just for him. His character on the show was once a male prostitute to fund his cheeseburger habit, FYI.

Read the rest of this entry »

I made an outline for today’s entry. You know, to keep it neat and orderly, and so you can skip certain sections if you don’t want to hear about it.

Today’s Outline:

1. eBay
2. Home Care Bitching
3. Menstrual Cycle (see? Now men can skip that part. Easy peasy)
4. Blog Interview
5. Quantum Release Stuff
6. Worst Thing That Could Ever Happen, Ever
7. Weather

1. eBay

So far I have been nothing but pleased with my eBay experience. Except for how long it takes for items to ship to Canada, I haven’t had a complaint. Until yesterday. I received an order that was supposed to be a pair of casual Capri pants. When I opened the parcel, they were obviously shorts, and a grey fleece material at that. Way beyond “casual”, these were like Wal-Mart cheap grey shorts that would be worth about $5. I was surprised that the sale page had referred to them as Capris! Even the packaging (new) clearly stated “shorts”. Every time I receive an item I head straight to the feedback page and give feedback, which has always been positive. This time I chose “negative” and wrote “these are shorts, not Capris; not what I thought I was getting” and shortly after that I received an email from the seller BLASTING me because I was her FIRST negative feedback, and how dare I, and “I hope you’re happy with yourself!” and that she was going to report me to eBay. Hmm. Report me for what, exactly?? Anyway, I wrote her back and told her if she refunded me then I would withdraw the feedback, which she did. So her perfect score is back. I wanted to ask her if that is how she kept a perfect score… by threatening her customers? Heh. I know now that I should have contacted her about it first, before leaving feedback, but I was just so shocked, it was my automatic reaction.

I also received a (cheap) necklace that was broken, but they refunded me no problem, and the two tops I got from this store are SO GORGEOUS I certainly can’t be upset about that. I will order from them again, for sure - I highly recommend Hollywood Diva!! (For Plus sized gals).

2. Home Care Bitching

I know I said awhile back that I wasn’t going to talk about needing Home Care or the negative aspects of my MS. Well I lied. I just had an issue with my Home Care worker this week and want to bitch about her! I receive help on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. This past Monday was a holiday in Canada, not a stat., but a long weekend for most people, nonetheless. People who receive less than 7 days/week home care do not always get help on a holiday, even if it’s their “regular” day. So I wasn’t sure if she would be coming on Monday or not. But she called me at 8:30 a.m. (and woke me up) to tell me she would be here at 10:30. (Whyyyy call me so early, then??) Normally my help is supposed to come at 9-9:30 am. but I’m not picky if I’m going to be home that day, anyway. So… 10:30 came and went, and no Home Care. She never showed up and never called.

On Wednesday, I had to work at a client’s and Access was picking me up at 10:40 (I always make M-W-F workdays start later to give home care time). By 9:30 I figured if she wasn’t coming again, I better get myself ready. So I did, and she called me at 10:15 to say she’d be here within half an hour. I said “I’ll be gone by then,” and mentioned my time is supposed to be 9-9:30, which she knows, she has been coming here for weeks and knows that I often work Wednesdays. Anyway, she said she thought I’d be “sleeping”. I asked her about not showing up on Monday, and she said “after I called you I checked my schedule and noticed you weren’t on it, after all.” I asked her why she didn’t call me back then, and again she said that I wasn’t on her schedule, and I argued that she had called and SAID she was coming, and if she then realized I wasn’t on her schedule, how am I supposed to know that?? Grrrr. I called my Home Care nurse and requested that the woman I get on Fridays be my M-W-F helper if possible, because even though she barely understands English, at least she is reliable, plus she tidies up the bathroom after we’re done (which they are all supposed to do, but the other one never does) and does a little more to help me. I’m not sure if their schedules have been changed or not… I may not get what I want, but Harpal (my Friday lady) told me she would like to come all the time, if they ask her. “I like you, and I like your cats”. Heh

3. Menstrual Cycle (Move along, men).

I am every 28 days like CLOCKWORK. I literally know the exact day my period is going to start, and it’s only ever been off by a matter of hours. Well, it came a week early last time… it was supposed to be August 4, but it started July 28. I’m thinking the heat wave may have messed with my hormones or something, since it messes with MS. So, that screws up everything. Because now my next one will be August 24 and the one after that will be around September 21 and I will be in MONTREAL!!! Argh. Fingers crossed that it is late, okay??

4. Blog Interview

I forgot to post about this before. I was interviewed by this blog website thingy. You can read my interview and rate my blog (thumbs up, please!) right here. Oh, and the 3 top rated blogs in August win a few dollars, and you can vote once/day, so I am asking you, my dear readers, to support me and vote away!

Also, they are giving away prizes every day to a random comment contributor: “The more comments you make per day the more likely you are to be chosen. Ask your readers to vote for your blog interview and make at least one comment…maybe they’ll win something! Check back daily to see the previous day’s prize.”

5. Quantum Release Stuff

I had an epiphany! I was thinking about a session I had a few weeks ago, which was the best one ever, and I think I understand what it was all about and why I have been feeling so great. During that session, Kevin and I talked quite a bit, because my energy was “going nuts” and he had questions for me during it. (Usually we are very quiet, and I just lay there and relax with my eyes closed). First, a little “life background”… I think when I was 6, 7, 8 years old, was the happiest time of my life. I had a great childhood, and at that time, we lived in a house on a street in Winnipeg where there were lots of other kids. All I remember when I think back to that time, are the summers. The summers where all us kids played outside on the street (not much traffic at all, very nice residential neighbourhood) and in our yards; tag, hopscotch, hide and seek, etc. My best, best, best friend was Lynda, who lived next door. Her and I were inseperable and always upside down, doing cartwheels and handstands, playing on the swing set in my yard and the in sandbox. That was a very happy time for me and my brother; it was before my mom hurt her back, before we moved to Calgary, before I was old enough to want to have a mind of my own and my dad started his negative and controling behaviour, before my first diet (that was age 10, and it lead to a cycle that has obviously been VERY successful *cough cough*), before body/self image and self-esteem problems, etc. etc. etc. I could go on and on.

So… during that session, Kevin asked me where my family went on vacations when I was a kid. I said we didn’t really take big vacations; we did a lot of camping; we would go away for the weekend once in awhile and stay in a nice hotel with a pool/waterslide; we did go out to Alberta (Banff) when I was really little but I don’t remember that. Kevin mentioned that he was “seeing all these kids playing together, sand but no beach, stuff like that…” I said “oh, that was just our street and our house! We had a sandbox. We were always playing outside with the other kids.” He then said “I see a Lynda… I don’t know who she is to you, but I’m getting her energy” and I said “that was my best friend back then!”

Since that session, I have been feeling better and better emotionally; I just feel like I have no baggage or bad memories inside me. I feel so GOOD and happy inside. And it hit me… maybe that’s what happened… he brought my energy back to a time when I was happiest in my life! Pre All-the-shit-that-has-happened-since-then. That… is cool. And explains a lot.

6. Worst Thing That Could Ever Happen, Ever

I broke the carafe from my espresso maker. I wish I could blame a cat, but I cannot. It broke in the sink because of MY carelessness.

7. Weather

Okay, so the heat wave(s) have passed, and we’re “cold” now. As in, some rain and clouds. Big DEAL!! It’s not SO bad, and I totally prefer this Spring-like weather to being in the 30’s. What I don’t get, is all the same people who were whining about it being too hot, are now whining about it being too cold. Gimme a break! Is there no pleasing you? “I’m tired of this cold weather”. Oh, please. Tomorrow is +19°C and sunny, which I think is perfect. And I’ll be outside at the Mountainview Music Festival, so YAY!! More on that, next entry