Can You Hear Me Now?

I found my last disposable camera the other day, one that I was using when I got my digital for Christmas in 2006. I got the pictures developed, and there were a bunch of cute ones on it. These are a couple of my favourites; I’ll upload the others soon, there are some cute ones!! Pita and Pepper don’t hook up like this often, anymore. I miss those days…

Pepper reminds me of the girl in the pink dress in the Charlie Brown dance

Speaking of Pita, it’s getting worse with the trying-to-keep-her-inside. I thought it was getting better, after I accidently shut her out in the hall when I didn’t know she’d snuck out there, and it took about an hour and a lot of her whining before I realized it. I thought, “good! Now maybe she will be scared to go out there again…” but that didn’t last long. Now one of the women who works in the rental office next door (the one who doesn’t get mad at me when Pita is in the hall) has taken to letting Pita into the office to roam around. She just loves her. OKAY, that’s nice and all, but now Pita KNOWS there is all this life out there, other places to go, people to see… today, after it took forever to get her back inside, she walked around whining and moaning for two hours. She kept going to the door and crying. Sigh…

This is the best comeback of the week year:

The woman is now weighing the pros and cons of having skim milk versus two percent milk in her latte, and she says, “God, I don’t know, I just feel so, like, fat today. I feel like such a big fat cow.”

Then she turns to me, and she says, GET THIS, “How do you stand it every day?”

I blink.

The adorable pierced-and-tattooed boy en flambe blinks.

Several heads in the cafe pop up because nobody can believe this woman actually said this to a total stranger. I feel as if the sitcom camera is pulling in tight for a closeup on my reaction.

But the gods of snark are smiling upon me today. I reply, straightfaced, “You know, it’s normally not too bad, but today I’m having one of those days where I feel like a shallow dumb bitch. How do you stand it every day?”

I wish I could have been there! I don’t get comments like that, I think because I’ve got a walker or scooter or something as my shield. People must think I have enough to deal with, without the fat remarks (to my face). But I’ve certainly been subject to them in the past, even when I wasn’t, what I would consider, “fat”. People can be so rude it’s astounding.

Speaking of being rude, I’m trying my best not to be, and to be happy about the fact that a crazy lady is planning to move into my apartment building, and most likely using me as a reference. Brenda has called me a few times over the past year with some pretty crazy stories and cries for help. Now she may be my neighbour. I really don’t want that… she says she will be here on Thursday to look at the place and fill out the application. I may actually talk to the office about her, because she is trouble. You know when your gut just SCREAMS at you to stay clear of someone? Yeah. I’m already worried.

So… work is picking up in a major way, today one big client delivered their entire year’s worth of stuff, and tomorrow another one will… which means between now and the end of March, when their GST’s are due, I’m swamped. I’ll also get a few more tax returns to do. I did my own yesterday, and woo hoo! Decent refund coming. First time in a long time, thank you medical expenses (I wrote off my electronic lift chair, and all those Quantum Release Therapy sessions added up!) I spent over $4,200 on medical related stuff. Ouch.

So what I’m trying to say, is expect even fewer updates than usual.

Pita’s eyes ended the last entry, so Pepper’s tongue ends this one.

It’s about time this received more international attention… my friend Brett has been writing and speaking about it for so many years.

Okay, so, the past 24 hours have kinda sucked.

It started yesterday afternoon when I went to Wal-Mart to pick up a few groceries. I usually use the self checkout, of which there are 4 stands. One line-up, and you just wait for the next available checkout stand. So I was ringing my things through and almost finished, when I hear the woman next in line say “excuse me ma’am, you have to go to the back of the line, it’s all one line - you don’t stand behind a specific till.” I looked over and saw the woman she was talking to. She yelled “who the hell are YOU?! You can’t tell me what to do!!” and the woman behind me got defensive and said “get to the back of the line! You can’t butt ahead, you’re no one special” and the other one said “and YOU ARE?? And YOU ARE?? Who are YOU??!!?” I then piped up and told the woman behind me I was almost done, and to come on over… and told the troublemaker “she’s right, you know, it’s one line and you need to go to the back,” to which she responded “SHUT YOUR FUCKING WHITE-ASS MOUTH, BITCH!! YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!” I was done bagging my stuff so I just scootered right on out of there. It was only when I was half-way down the mall that I remembered I had used the “cash back” feature on the debit machine and requested $40. In all the commotion I totally forgot my money!! I raced back there, but too late. The cash was gone from the slot, and the woman who used the till after me was nowhere to be seen.

ARGH!!!

Today I slept in. Yeah, so, no big deal, just had a hair appointment at 1:00. So after I got dressed for that I checked my email and eBay stuff. I had left negative feedback for a woman last night who WAY overcharged me for shipping (I don’t normally care too much, because we’re not only paying the cost to ship, but for their time and materials and stuff, so a few bucks more is no biggie). But $10 over was too much, plus she advertised her Crocs as BRAND NEW and what I received had obviously been worn. Anyway, I left negative feedback so of course she left me negative feedback, saying “watch out for Canadians!! Refund offered and still left negative. Not nice.” and rebuffed my negative feedback by saying she offered a refund. SO not true. I had emailed her before I left the feedback and all I got back from her was a rude email, telling me I’m “too picky”.

So my day started out with me in a bad mood. And you know what they say in The Secret and all that, we create our world with our thoughts, and if you’re in a bitchy mood to begin your day, things just spiral. So 20 minutes before I needed to leave for my hair appointment, I lost my balance and fell backwards on my ass. Scraped my hand pretty bad:

There is a lovely bump and bruise forming there and it hurts like hell to touch!

but I think that’s all. It just shook me up. I didn’t really have time to regain my composure when I managed to get myself up; I wiped the tears from my eyes and got on my scooter to leave. I backed it up, and the walker carrier on the back of my scooter attached itself to my TV stand and DRAGGED MY TV ACROSS THE ROOM. I’ve been soooo careful when backing up not to hit my TV since I got that walker carrier, it sticks out pretty far. But I guess I was too flustered today.

Hello there, you belong in the corner. You’re also supposed to be a 52″ flat screen.

So. Yes. Great day so far, huh?

Then I got my hair done, so let’s hope things turn around now, because I think that worked out well:

I think I’m attempting a “look down like a mysterious temptress” look. Ahem.

So anyway, a couple lattes and a voice mail message from my buddy Jason later, I’m feeling better. Tonight I’m going to watch a movie and go to bed early… and hope for a better day tomorrow!!

Pepper is SO going there.

“Mmmmm…. paper…..”

Boxy but Good

I made an outline for today’s entry. You know, to keep it neat and orderly, and so you can skip certain sections if you don’t want to hear about it.

Today’s Outline:

1. eBay
2. Home Care Bitching
3. Menstrual Cycle (see? Now men can skip that part. Easy peasy)
4. Blog Interview
5. Quantum Release Stuff
6. Worst Thing That Could Ever Happen, Ever
7. Weather

1. eBay

So far I have been nothing but pleased with my eBay experience. Except for how long it takes for items to ship to Canada, I haven’t had a complaint. Until yesterday. I received an order that was supposed to be a pair of casual Capri pants. When I opened the parcel, they were obviously shorts, and a grey fleece material at that. Way beyond “casual”, these were like Wal-Mart cheap grey shorts that would be worth about $5. I was surprised that the sale page had referred to them as Capris! Even the packaging (new) clearly stated “shorts”. Every time I receive an item I head straight to the feedback page and give feedback, which has always been positive. This time I chose “negative” and wrote “these are shorts, not Capris; not what I thought I was getting” and shortly after that I received an email from the seller BLASTING me because I was her FIRST negative feedback, and how dare I, and “I hope you’re happy with yourself!” and that she was going to report me to eBay. Hmm. Report me for what, exactly?? Anyway, I wrote her back and told her if she refunded me then I would withdraw the feedback, which she did. So her perfect score is back. I wanted to ask her if that is how she kept a perfect score… by threatening her customers? Heh. I know now that I should have contacted her about it first, before leaving feedback, but I was just so shocked, it was my automatic reaction.

I also received a (cheap) necklace that was broken, but they refunded me no problem, and the two tops I got from this store are SO GORGEOUS I certainly can’t be upset about that. I will order from them again, for sure - I highly recommend Hollywood Diva!! (For Plus sized gals).

2. Home Care Bitching

I know I said awhile back that I wasn’t going to talk about needing Home Care or the negative aspects of my MS. Well I lied. I just had an issue with my Home Care worker this week and want to bitch about her! I receive help on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. This past Monday was a holiday in Canada, not a stat., but a long weekend for most people, nonetheless. People who receive less than 7 days/week home care do not always get help on a holiday, even if it’s their “regular” day. So I wasn’t sure if she would be coming on Monday or not. But she called me at 8:30 a.m. (and woke me up) to tell me she would be here at 10:30. (Whyyyy call me so early, then??) Normally my help is supposed to come at 9-9:30 am. but I’m not picky if I’m going to be home that day, anyway. So… 10:30 came and went, and no Home Care. She never showed up and never called.

On Wednesday, I had to work at a client’s and Access was picking me up at 10:40 (I always make M-W-F workdays start later to give home care time). By 9:30 I figured if she wasn’t coming again, I better get myself ready. So I did, and she called me at 10:15 to say she’d be here within half an hour. I said “I’ll be gone by then,” and mentioned my time is supposed to be 9-9:30, which she knows, she has been coming here for weeks and knows that I often work Wednesdays. Anyway, she said she thought I’d be “sleeping”. I asked her about not showing up on Monday, and she said “after I called you I checked my schedule and noticed you weren’t on it, after all.” I asked her why she didn’t call me back then, and again she said that I wasn’t on her schedule, and I argued that she had called and SAID she was coming, and if she then realized I wasn’t on her schedule, how am I supposed to know that?? Grrrr. I called my Home Care nurse and requested that the woman I get on Fridays be my M-W-F helper if possible, because even though she barely understands English, at least she is reliable, plus she tidies up the bathroom after we’re done (which they are all supposed to do, but the other one never does) and does a little more to help me. I’m not sure if their schedules have been changed or not… I may not get what I want, but Harpal (my Friday lady) told me she would like to come all the time, if they ask her. “I like you, and I like your cats”. Heh

3. Menstrual Cycle (Move along, men).

I am every 28 days like CLOCKWORK. I literally know the exact day my period is going to start, and it’s only ever been off by a matter of hours. Well, it came a week early last time… it was supposed to be August 4, but it started July 28. I’m thinking the heat wave may have messed with my hormones or something, since it messes with MS. So, that screws up everything. Because now my next one will be August 24 and the one after that will be around September 21 and I will be in MONTREAL!!! Argh. Fingers crossed that it is late, okay??

4. Blog Interview

I forgot to post about this before. I was interviewed by this blog website thingy. You can read my interview and rate my blog (thumbs up, please!) right here. Oh, and the 3 top rated blogs in August win a few dollars, and you can vote once/day, so I am asking you, my dear readers, to support me and vote away!

Also, they are giving away prizes every day to a random comment contributor: “The more comments you make per day the more likely you are to be chosen. Ask your readers to vote for your blog interview and make at least one comment…maybe they’ll win something! Check back daily to see the previous day’s prize.”

5. Quantum Release Stuff

I had an epiphany! I was thinking about a session I had a few weeks ago, which was the best one ever, and I think I understand what it was all about and why I have been feeling so great. During that session, Kevin and I talked quite a bit, because my energy was “going nuts” and he had questions for me during it. (Usually we are very quiet, and I just lay there and relax with my eyes closed). First, a little “life background”… I think when I was 6, 7, 8 years old, was the happiest time of my life. I had a great childhood, and at that time, we lived in a house on a street in Winnipeg where there were lots of other kids. All I remember when I think back to that time, are the summers. The summers where all us kids played outside on the street (not much traffic at all, very nice residential neighbourhood) and in our yards; tag, hopscotch, hide and seek, etc. My best, best, best friend was Lynda, who lived next door. Her and I were inseperable and always upside down, doing cartwheels and handstands, playing on the swing set in my yard and the in sandbox. That was a very happy time for me and my brother; it was before my mom hurt her back, before we moved to Calgary, before I was old enough to want to have a mind of my own and my dad started his negative and controling behaviour, before my first diet (that was age 10, and it lead to a cycle that has obviously been VERY successful *cough cough*), before body/self image and self-esteem problems, etc. etc. etc. I could go on and on.

So… during that session, Kevin asked me where my family went on vacations when I was a kid. I said we didn’t really take big vacations; we did a lot of camping; we would go away for the weekend once in awhile and stay in a nice hotel with a pool/waterslide; we did go out to Alberta (Banff) when I was really little but I don’t remember that. Kevin mentioned that he was “seeing all these kids playing together, sand but no beach, stuff like that…” I said “oh, that was just our street and our house! We had a sandbox. We were always playing outside with the other kids.” He then said “I see a Lynda… I don’t know who she is to you, but I’m getting her energy” and I said “that was my best friend back then!”

Since that session, I have been feeling better and better emotionally; I just feel like I have no baggage or bad memories inside me. I feel so GOOD and happy inside. And it hit me… maybe that’s what happened… he brought my energy back to a time when I was happiest in my life! Pre All-the-shit-that-has-happened-since-then. That… is cool. And explains a lot.

6. Worst Thing That Could Ever Happen, Ever

I broke the carafe from my espresso maker. I wish I could blame a cat, but I cannot. It broke in the sink because of MY carelessness.

7. Weather

Okay, so the heat wave(s) have passed, and we’re “cold” now. As in, some rain and clouds. Big DEAL!! It’s not SO bad, and I totally prefer this Spring-like weather to being in the 30’s. What I don’t get, is all the same people who were whining about it being too hot, are now whining about it being too cold. Gimme a break! Is there no pleasing you? “I’m tired of this cold weather”. Oh, please. Tomorrow is +19°C and sunny, which I think is perfect. And I’ll be outside at the Mountainview Music Festival, so YAY!! More on that, next entry

Lots to ramble on about today! For starters, the wonderful Maggie tagged me as one of her favourite Female Bloggers who Rock. Awww, thanks Maggs! Now I have to list five Female Bloggers who Rock. These women have amazing blogs/journals that I click on daily, hoping for updates.

Robyn - I’ve been reading Robyn for so many years, I feel like I know her. She inspired me to get Pita and Pepper and take buttloads of photos of them! She’s a crazy cat lady who lives in Alabama and has a zillion cats, plus fosters baby kittens, volunteers at the pet store, helps out the no-kill cat shelter, etc. etc. She recently moved to this awesome house in the country and now they have chickens, too. Robyn does more before 9:00 am than I do all day.

Shauna, a.k.a. Dietgirl - I started out reading Dietgirl several years ago, and eventually found her other blog as well. Now she is famous (many magazines/papers have written about her because of her huge weight loss) so she can no longer keep the two identities separate! Shauna has transplanted herself from Australia to Scotland, found herself an adorable husband, lost oodles of weight, and is an inspiration to everyone. She’s funny as hell and I can’t wait for her book!

Kate Harding - A recent find and fast favourite. She talks mainly about feminism and Fat Acceptance. She really knows her stuff. She is smart, funny and awesome.

Jane - Damn, this woman is a riot to read. She’s a working mom and wife, living in Kansas. That may not sound like much excitement, but you’d be surprised. Her writing is spectacular and she has a huge following for good reason!

East Side Girl - Also a fairly recent find. Sometimes her posts are only a sentence long, but they say all that needs to be said. She has a way with words like no other, and is what a blogger is supposed to be!

I don’t think any of these ladies read me (Robyn does, but probably just for the cat videos haha) so I don’t expect them to know I tagged them. I just wanted to mention them because they are all amazing and you should all be reading them regularly.

I mentioned awhile back that I ordered myself a Twister Sweeper. Can I just say, if you’ve ever wondered if the items you see advertised on TV work as well in real life, you can be assured that this one works BETTER. It is the absolute most amazing thing ever invented. It’s light as a feather, picks up anything and everything, works on carpet and floors, great for picking up spatters of cat litter without needing to pull out the vacuum, gets that broken glass right away, no dust pan needed, easy to empty… and if you’re prone to dropping your bottles of pills on the floor and watching them spatter all over your 70’s yellow camoflauge linoleum which hides everything you drop (and really, who isnt?), you’ll be glad to know you can run the Twister Sweeper across the floor once, remove the bottom and then pick out your pills in about 20 short seconds. My mom loves hers too, my brother uses mine and wants one, and my mom’s co-worker decided to get one after my mom brought hers in to work because vacuums are so darn heavy. Honestly, if you have so much as considered getting one, if you hate dragging out the heavy vacuum all the time, if you have pets, (great for cat hair too), if you hate trying to sweep into a dustpan… just GET ONE.

Shoes. Shoes and boots. And sheets and towels. Next on my list of things to sort through and donate what I can. Clear up some closet space and get real about the shoes I actually DO wear (Crocs and a few select others) and the ones I don’t or can’t (anything with a heel or laces). Also, bedroom closet. It’s overstuffed again. It happens so quickly!! If I would just stay ONE SIZE for awhile, perhaps this would not happen…

Reasons why yesterday sucked:

1. I cut my leg while shaving. Usually, a little nic in the shower while shaving is no big deal and all you need to do is put some pressure on it for a second and it stops bleeding. These ones were cuts in several places (because me and left handed dexterity while shaving are not best friends) and WOULD NOT STOP BLEEDING. After a couple hours I finally gave in and put bandaids all over my cuts before heading out with my friend Pam.
2. At the restaurant, we sat on the patio in those cheap plastic flimsy green patio chairs. Now, when I get up from a chair, I am quite rough on it - pushing and pressing hard on the left arm because that’s just how I have to do it. This chair did not take kindly to that, and the left leg started breaking underneath me. Pam tried to save me from falling on my ass, but she is all of 100 pounds soaking wet and I’m a big girl, so two people from a nearby table ran over and helped, and eventually we got me up to being seated on my walker. I had to sit there and catch my breath for a few minutes… get over the embarrassment and give my legs a rest. They worked very hard trying to keep me from falling and are sore as hell today! Pam tried to make me feel better by insisting those chairs are pieces of crap and it had a bit of a crack in it already, and just needed that push I gave it to break down. I choose to believe her.
3. We went to Starbucks after dinner. Last time I was there I sat in a big cushy chair and had no major problem getting out of it by myself. I was about to sit in the same chair, when two people came along and sat at that exact table. So I chose the one beside it, with two different styles of cushy chairs, and the second I sat down I thought, “I’m not gonna get out”. Way too low. I drank my latte and didn’t worry about it until it came time to leave. I struggled to get up, and I just could not. Pam was going to help me, but again, tiny person! A woman at a nearby table asked “do you need some help?” and I said “yeah, actually, I do” and she came over. Her and Pam helped lift me up from my right arm while I pushed on the chair with my left. Done deal, easy enough. But still… all attention on you when half the customers are helping you get out of a freakin’ chair.
4. By the time I got home, my legs had pretty much given out on me. I settled in to watch a movie (Stranger Than Fiction - I really liked it) but when I got up to go to the bathroom, I stumbled and fell forward against the sink, basically landing on the top of my nose between my eyes, on the edge of the medicine cabinet that is just above the sink. It hurt like HELL. I bawled like a baby and sat back down with an ice pack and sniffled. Now I have a lovely, sore red bump there. And my legs hurt like hell, have I mentioned that?

Now, to put a positive spin on the evening, I have to point out that Pam was gracious and wonderful, and wasn’t the least bit embarrassed to be with me; it was great to get out with her; the weather was nice; the food at the restaurant and the latte were delicious; I didn’t fall and break anything, and I certainly could have broken my nose in the bathroom if I’d landed a little differently, yet I DID NOT; I really enjoyed my movie; my friend Shawna called from Winnipeg. So, not all bad. Plus I have cute cats.

OH! Biggest, bestest News of the Week. I finally heard back from Calgary Housing and they are going to subsidize my rent! I’m part of a new program in which my actual suite is not becoming a subsidized unit, but I as a person am subsidized. So I pay my regular rent and Calgary Housing sends me a cheque every month to help out. It basically cuts my rent in HALF, which is awesome!! I sign papers on Tuesday and it goes for a year before I’m reviewed again. So the only downside is, if my rent goes up within the next year, (which it most likely will), the amount of my cheque will not until I am reviewed again. I’m okay with that, because it will still be more than I had before.

Oh my goodness, this is long. So I’ll end it. But not before saying Michelle and I saw Emm Gryner on Thursday night, and she was wicked-awesome.

Oh yeah, and Happy Canada Day!!

Monday night I went to the premiere of “A Mighty Heart” with AH. I think he was the wrong person to take. Let’s face it, he’s a Middle Eastern Arab Muslim. No matter how hot ‘n sexy he is, or kind and helpful he has been to me over the years, added to the fact that he has lived most of his life here in Canada, does not change that… his attitudes are quite different from mine. So when I come out of a movie like that, I’m horrified by what happened to Danny Pearl. When AH comes out of a movie like that, he says “what goes around, comes around.” WTF???

It’s common knowledge that many Muslims (and probably others) believe that “The Jews are responsible for 9/11″. There is this (bullshit rumour, IMO) that “4,000 Jews didn’t show up for work at the World Trade Centre that day because they were warned in advance…” Oh, PLEASE. There were 400-500 Jews killed at the WTC that day, (although the list of those killed does not include their religion, it’s pretty obvious when you see names like Steinman, Berger, Rosenberg, Bernstein, Horwitz, Weinstein, etc.) And are you going to tell me that not ONE of those 4,000 supposedly warned wouldn’t then call their buddies from work, or police, or SOMEONE to advise them of what they’ve been told? Not one in 4,000 is a decent person? Gimme a break.

AH falls into the category of those that believe “the Jews are responsible for 9/11″. That’s like me saying “The Muslims are responsible”. And I would never say that, because I know not all Muslims are bad people. I could say “Al-Qaeda is responsible” just like AH could say “The Israeli government is responsible” if that’s what he wants to believe. Don’t say “Jews” are. Daniel Pearl had NOTHING to do with it, or anything else Israel may be blamed for. He was Jewish by being born into a Jewish family. He was an American. He did not practice his faith religiously, if he did he would have married a nice Jewish girl, not a Cuban. He was a journalist for the Wall Street Journal, looking for answers and truth. He offered his articles to be read by anyone he was going to interview, so they could see what he was writing about, and what his angle was. Daniel Pearl was in love with his wife who was 5-1/2 months pregnant at the time of his death, and he did NOT deserve to die!!!

My biggest problem with arguing about these things with AH, is that I am quite ignorant in the world of politics and the happenings over in the Middle East. AH is not; he grew up in Lebanon surrounded by wars and has lived and breathed it. He has his reasons for hating Israel and I won’t deny that anyone from Lebanon would, knowing a little of that history. He has an intellectual sounding comeback for every argument I put out there because he is far more knowledgeable about world politics and media than I am. For example, when I said “Osama Bin Laden came right out and admitted he is responsible for 9/11!” AH came back with “the media were delivered a tape from Al-Jazeera and they didn’t air it for over a week… because they wanted to edit it to their liking. Don’t you think if it was the real thing, they would have aired it within minutes of receiving it?” And to that I have no answer, because I have no clue whether or not what AH says is true. Because I don’t keep on top of this stuff like he does. Alls I know is, the media has been so ACCURATE and open-minded in its reporting, and George Bush has been so honest about the Whats and Whys.

(That was sarcasm, BTW).

When AH said “well, he wouldn’t have died if he didn’t deserve it. He did something. Good people don’t just get killed for no reason…” I responded with “tell me, again, how your brother died?” (He was killed by two men in Lebanon many years ago). He didn’t say anything after that, point taken.

In closing, I don’t believe “Jews are responsible” and I think generalizing “Jews” into a category like that in the first place is bullshit. Are all “Germans” responsible for what Hitler did? Please. (In all fairness, however, as a friend of mine studying the Middle East at this very moment just pointed out to me, “many people from the Middle East are not necessarily disagreeing or attacking the specific issue - but are putting it in a much wider historical context which does not generally translate well to North American ears…” and that he may not have meant exactly what he said). But still. I don’t like some of the stuff he said, and he clarified it enough that I know he meant what he said.

I rolled all my coins this past weekend. $350!! Not too bad, considering I only started saving the loonies and toonies last September (and have grabbed the odd one out of the vase here and there). It is going right on my credit card to start paying down my trip, and thus another item is crossed off my 101 list. While rolling the coins, I happened across a 1945 dime that is worth about $10.00 and a penny worth about $4.00. Woo hoo!

I’ve been doing some reading lately of websites that have to do with fat acceptance. It is really quite interesting. I’d like to think it’s a bit of a “movement” happening… not a Pro “Eating-whatever-the-hell-you-want-until-you-can’t-get-out-of-your-own-bed” fat acceptance movement, but to accept the fact that some people eat healthy and exercise and will never be thin. That trying to be model-thin is unrealistic for many people no matter how hard they try, and try they do, with diets and creating eating disorders and driving themselves crazy stepping on that damn scale 100 times/day and hating themselves for not looking like Kate Moss. Sites like Big Fat Deal, that I have been reading for awhile now, which led me to the now famous Fat Rant by Joy Nash, and the WONDERFUL, awesome and brilliant Kate Harding. And let’s hear a rousing roar of applause for Mika’s latest single:

That line “no need to fantasize since I was in my braces”? This guy makes that pretty clear. Excellent read, and I thank you, dear Brian, and all the above links, for helping me get closer to the acceptance of myself, and no more diets for me. I know I need to work on the eating healthier overall and regular exercise to just see where my body ends up, but it’s nice to know I’m “allowed” to feel sexy at any size.

Okay, I linked to so much stuff you’ll be reading all night now, so I shall sign off.

It’s snowing outside. Again. WTF?? Last week it was so nice and sunny and Spring-like, and now it’s winter. Argh!

I’m only going to mention the Virginia Tech shootings here once. I am HORRIFIED. And I wish they would stop giving his creepy face so much air time. He is dead, we don’t need to keep an eye out for him! I have heard way more about the killer and his story, than those of his victims. Who were they, and what are their stories? I’d rather hear about that and remember them. The killer is not worth my time or thoughts.

Moving on to Celeb Gossip…

Have y’all heard that voice mail message Alec Baldwin left for his daughter?? Pretty scary. At first I thought it was for Kim Basinger, but no, it’s to their young daughter. I used to like Alec Baldwin, any time I’ve seen him on a talk show or something he makes me laugh. And I love him on 30 Rock. But, now… not so much. Making threats to your 11 or 12 year old daughter (I don’t know her age, and neither does he) is so not cool. Father of the Year he is not.

My life has been incredibly boring this week. Taxes, taxes, taxes. I’m getting a lot done, but there is still so much more to do. And more coming tomorrow. And then that should be it for work drop-offs and I can just get it all done. 10 more days!

Because I am so sure I’ll be winning that house with AH on May 22 and selling it and getting my million or so dollars out of it, I’ve started looking online at where I want to buy. I am finding lots of condos around $500,000 that have a master bedroom Ensuite, a pool/fitness room in the building, and centrally located. That’s great news! I can buy my dream condo outright and then have money left over to invest, travel and pay condo fees/property taxes/etc. for the years to come. I am SET.

For the time being, though, I am still waiting on that rent subsidy. I had to cancel my meeting with the Social Worker last week, and she cancelled on me yesterday because she is sick. She’s coming over on Monday now, and we’ll be able to finalize everything and send it in. Rent subsidy would be a great birthday present, since last year my present from my building was a big fat rent increase.

Speaking of my birthday, there are so many great things happening on May 1! Because it is a Tuesday, and all new CDs are released on Tuesdays, there is a lot of great music being released on my birthday. I keep hearing “coming out May 1st” and it makes me smile. Then, I have a friend who is opening her music studio that day. Also, the waitress we had at Cora’s on Easter is leaving for her vacation to Australia. I turn 39, AH turns 38, and finally, tax season is over. It’s a good day. Except for the fact that I will be one year away from FORTY. Yikes.

I’m not sure if I should be happy about this or not, but upping my anti-depressant medication over the past week has really made a difference. I feel SO much better. I know that feeling better is a good thing, but I don’t like the fact I have to take pills to get there. I hope I can wean off of them someday. Exercise and vitamins, right Tom Cruise? Actually, that will help. It’s no secret what exercise can do for your overall health, body, mind, spirit… So when I move into my condo with the pool I’ll be able to enjoy exercise every day. There is no other kind I can do that I enjoy. (Well, there is, but I am single and my mother reads this so HUSH).

Anyway, I’ve got a client dropping by in a few minutes. I hope she has a cheque for me! Tonight I am going to a friend’s for dinner. She just got back from a trip to Egypt and is making an Egyptian dinner for her friends. Yum!!

Today I finally received the walker carrier for the back of my scooter. Now I need to practice getting my walker on and off that thing, because it’s really hard. I’m weak enough as it is, and with only one good hand/arm, you can imagine it’s not the easiest thing for me to do. The pulleys are really, really tight! It wasn’t even easy for the people who came and installed it for me to do. Good thing I asked Living Well if I could start their March 1 program instead (because I was missing so many classes with all this snow, and the fact I still couldn’t bring my walker over). Now I have a couple weeks to get the routine down.

Here’s the looooooooong story. It took over a month to get that thing! I originally called the medical supply store (the one I am a regular customer with… every piece of equipment I have is from there, and I sent them my scooter to be fixed in December, and you would think I would be on their “special customers” list!!) on Jan. 10. I talked with a man I’ll call Joe. I told him what I needed, and he said they get them specially made by an outside supplier, and it would cost about $175 including delivery. I told him the make/model of my scooter, and asked if they needed to see it. “Oh, no, I know which scooter you have. I will call them and get one made for you and we’ll deliver it when it’s finished”. I told him that if it was at all possible, I needed it by January 19 (for my walking test at Living Well) but if it would cost more to rush it, no worries. He said they should be able to do it by then. I trusted all was well and I would hear from him soon.

A couple weeks went by, and nothing. I called the store, and left a message in Joe’s voice mail, wondering about the status of my equipment. He didn’t call me back. The following week I called again and left another message, and again he didn’t call me back. So last Tuesday I called AGAIN, and this time I refused his voice mail and told the person who answered that I wanted to know where my carrier was, and Joe was not returning my calls. He tracked down Joe, and when he came to the phone he said “oh, yes… that should have been delivered here, it’s around here somewhere, I’ll look into it and get it out to you”. When I still had not heard anything by Monday (this past Monday) I called Joe again and was starting to show my frustration, so he promised me delivery the next day. That afternoon I received a call from a woman I’ll call Sandra, asking if I would be around the next day for a delivery. I told her I needed it in the morning, so I could bring my walker to exercise class in the afternoon.

Sandra arrived Tuesday morning with the equipment, and I showed her to my scooter. She took one look at it and said, “oh, this won’t fit…” the bracket was completely different than the one it would attach to on my scooter. By this point I was ready to scream. I told her how long I had been waiting and about all the ignored phone calls and how Joe was so sure he knew what I needed for my scooter without seeing it. She apologized for Joe’s behaviour and said “well, you’ve got a woman looking after it now. I’ll be sure to get you what you need this week”. She left, I called Living Well to tell them I was missing yet another class, and could I start over on March 1 instead, to give time to sort out the walker carrier situation and for all our snow to hopefully melt.

Sandra called a few hours later. “The kind of carrier your scooter requires needs to be specially made, so we will need to bring your scooter in here”. I said “Joe told me the one I was getting was specially made for my scooter.” She was silent for a moment then said “…uh… I don’t know what to say about that… the one I brought you was the kind we just sell in the store… nothing was specially made… how can that be done without seeing your scooter and fitting it?” “I don’t know, Joe said he knew what I needed and was getting it made. I thought that’s why I waited a month.” “Oh… I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say about that…” You could tell she was stumped and probably wanted to bonk Joe over the head like I do.

She called me back a few minutes later and said she would be by to get my scooter on Thusday morning. She was here, as promised, and only needed to take my seat because that’s where the bracket was. This morning she returned, “with muscle” (a large man) and my specially made walker carrier. (One day!! It took ONE DAY! Fuck you, JOE). They re-attached my seat and showed me how to hang my walker on it, but like I said, it’s no easy feat. I am going to try to do it now so I can take pictures….

I’m back.

The walker carrier on the back of my scooter. $230 it ended up costing, BTW. Having a disability can be very expensive.

With my walker. After a bit of a struggle, I figured out my OWN way to do it, because I am brilliant and think outside the box.

I put those in upside down. That’s all! But you’d be amazed at how many times we tried to do it the “proper” way when Sandra and her co-worker were here. I couldn’t do it myself, and I couldn’t take it off by myself either. They leave, wishing me luck, and that they would call if they thought of an easier way. First try on my own I do this, and voila!

And then when I took it off, I removed the bottom latches instead of the top ones, and it’s as if no one has ever thought of that before. Where there is a will, there is a way.

Now I can take my walker over to the mall even on cold days to walk around. I’ll find some nice person at a store to keep an eye on my scooter for me, and bugger off for awhile. Wheee!

Oh, by the way, I had a nice Valentine’s Day. As a single woman I always try to do something nice for myself rather than simply dread the day and sit at home and cry. Heh. My friend Pam and I went out and I finally got myself the stainless steel pitcher I needed to foam milk for my lattes and then we went to Chapters/Starbucks (there is a Starbucks in the bookstore). We drank lattes and I ate a triple chocolate chunk cookie (because I promised people I would indeed have chocolate on Valentine’s Day, and I can’t let my people down, and I’m off the no wheat thing, at least for now. I’ll explain/make my excuses later). Then we wandered around the bookstore, which unfortunately had the heat up too high, so by that time between the heat and how tired I was (I had worked all day too) I didn’t last long. I did pick myself up a cute prayer book/journal set, with a candle and everything, that comes in a little box with a ribbon. It was only $10 and I want to devote a little time every day to meditation and prayer, so this seemed like a nice little gift to give myself for Valentine’s Day. Oh, and a little box of dark chocolate hearts.

And this brings to a close my week of procrastination. I’m going to head to the mall because I CAN (and couldn’t yesterday with no scooter seat! Oh the horror!) and get more water. Then I am coming home to organize my office, I SWEAR TO GOD. Tomorrow I am getting a pile of work dropped off from two clients, and it’s only going to continue. I must get my office tidy and file my OWN taxes so I can be prepared and organized in my mind and in my home for what is about to begin. Tax season is here!