Can You Hear Me Now?

A few things I discovered during my short Wellness retreat:

• It is very difficult to meditate with two cats who jump and walk all over you, rip up and down the hall, jump at the walls, jump on everything and knock stuff off, and generally make it impossible to lay still with your eyes closed;
• I need a larger supply of AA batteries for my CD player;
• The reason meditation courses, retreats, Ashrams, etc. make you get up at 4:30 a.m. is NOT so you are up when the sun rises, or “with God” or whatever… it’s so you can fit everything you’re supposed to be doing into that day. I made what I thought was a fairly simple list of what I’d be doing/listening to/watching/drinking/eating every day and it all takes a lot longer than you’d think!
• I need to change my thinking and speaking drastically and urgently.

I had to bail out a day early and I didn’t do any of the office de-cluttering (I found that just frustrated me more and the whole point of this was to be positive, quiet and meditative for a few days). I had left a message on my voice mail that said “if you’re calling about my home care or Sammons-Preston delivery, please leave a message, otherwise call back Wednesday” and yesterday morning I received 3 messages regarding home care. In order to take down the names/phone numbers I had to turn on my computer to type them out. Then I was on the phone making appointments and dealing with stuff, and I figured while I was here, I may as well email Sammons-Preston again and ask what the hell is going on and why they didn’t respond to my last email. Within seconds of hitting “send” they CALLED ME! Oh my God, actual customer service. I was told delivery had been attempted last week and that I had refused it. WTF??? So…. you don’t call me about that? They obviously attempted delivery to the wrong address. So she confirmed my address again and then I was on and off the phone with the freight company and had to leave my phone on because they’d be “calling before they delivered”. Of course, with my email client open, I retrieved my email, dealt with what I had to (work stuff), then it was off to check Facebook, and then it was all over.

I never did get my mat platform delivered yesterday, so this morning I called the freight office in Toronto to tell them I will be home all day today awaiting the delivery. The guy says “great! We’ll get it to you today for sure!”. I switched work to tomorrow instead, because this has been 2 months in the waiting and I’m not going anywhere until this mat platform is IN MY HOME. Then, the local freight office calls me (after I had already cancelled and re-booked my Access rides for tomorrow) to tell me there is some problem with overbooking deliveries and they can’t guarantee it will be here today, it will most likely be tomorrow. For FUCK SAKES. I have never had so many problems with incompetent service in my LIFE.

I got some great service last night, though, when I decided the “retreat” had obviously ended early. I needed some furniture moved around in my bedroom to make things easier for me, on the advice of the occupational therapist that was here last week. So I called Shawna to see if she could come by with a helper after work, and she showed up with both her parents who are in town visiting. They moved everything around in no time at all. Now I need the pole beside my bed moved over, so it’s beside my bed again, but that will have to wait until Monday when the pole installer guy is here to install another pole for me (I’ll need one beside my mat platform IF IT EVER GETS HERE).

Anyway, I need to do a lot of mental work. I have been watching You Can Heal Your Life every day, and crying crying crying like crazy. I first read Louise Hay’s book “You Can Heal Your Life” in 2003. I even reviewed it in an MS With Attitude newsletter back then. That was FIVE YEARS AGO. I’ve known this stuff for so many years. Meanwhile, I would give anything to go back to the state of health I was in 5 years ago, which was SO much better than today. I started MS With Attitude because I considered myself an example of how to LIVE with MS, and how to keep a positive outlook and attitude, and wanted to encourage/inspire others. I read the main page of that site now and realize I have become everything I feared. That I have become an “MS Pro” living with home care and equipment and therapists and wheelchairs and social workers and accessible housing and all the shit I never wanted to get into. And I know that it is all my fears and negative thinking and talking that made it this way. Even though I knew better. I KNEW BETTER!! And now here I am. I feel like such a failure. And that’s why I cry and cry and cry when I watch that DVD. On one hand, I have hope that I can turn it around. On the other, I’m so pissed off at myself for letting it get this bad. I’m not looking for sympathy or for you to say “oh Donna, don’t blame yourself, that’s too much” or whatever. I know and understand the Laws of the Universe. I also know I have been using them the wrong way, by accident of course. No one intentionally makes themselves sick. I am living proof that “you become what you think about, whether you want it or not”.

Many times I have stated right here that I’m not going to talk about MS on this blog anymore, (HA!), that I’m not going to focus on anything negative, and it’s not long before I renege on that promise. It’s even worse in my day-to-day life, the way I think and talk to myself. If I didn’t have my two adorable kitties to brighten my day, I swear there would be many days that not a positive thought would go through my brain. I’m the Queen of bitching out loud to myself and crying myself to sleep about everything I struggle to do each day.

I need to pull that book out again, dust it off, and actually DO THE WORK. Every single day!!!

I’m finally getting caught up on my sleep. A visit to my doctor last week resulted in some new medication which is helping with muscle tension and spasms (I think I’ve got Restless Leg Syndrome which kept waking me up). I’ve stopped using my sleeping pills because they weren’t working anyway, and I think what may be helping the most is the “Insomnia Buster Bundle” I downloaded. I bookmarked that site many months ago because I read somewhere how great those downloads are. I’ve since downloaded and burned several recordings to CD such as this one and this one and this one and this one, and am planning to send myself on a retreat without actually leaving my home, to give myself a good week or so to do nothing but meditate, listen to these CDs, use my Chi Machine, take all my vitamins and supplements and eat healthy, because taking care of myself properly is a full-time friggin’ job!

I’m mega stressed. What about? All sorts of things. My mobility seems to worsen every day and instead of thinking positive and attracting health and well-being, I’m crying and upset and pissed off and only attracting more negativity. I can’t seem to turn it around (hence getting that “stop negative thinking” download). I’m angry because the mat platform I ordered over a month ago, that was to be here within 10 days, still isn’t here. I want to use my Chi Machine because I know how much that will help me, but I can’t without that table. The company finally responded to my several emails asking where it is, and the best they can do is apologize and tell me it will arrive August 29 - September 5. After the website and TWO customer service reps told me 10 days. I’m JUST SO MAD. I know that won’t make it come faster, but I’m JUST SO MAD. I want my fucking table and I want it LAST WEEK.

I’ve been eating well, (except for the few days at the music festival) and I’m not feeling any better or losing any weight. It’s making me a little crazy. I’ve avoided fast food and sugar and all fake sugars, and snacking. Sure, I’ve had pizza, but it’s been thin crust veggie with very little cheese (as opposed to the mile high pepperoni and cheese I used to get regularly). I haven’t been PERFECT, but I’ve been eating a hell of a lot better in the past 3 months than in all the months prior. And I’m so frustrated that my clothes are not looser and I’m not any less of a body to lug around.

A couple weekends ago I was at the Mountainview Music Festival, which was fabulous. You’d think I’d be on some sort of a high from that. But I’m not. With all the good that was around me that weekend, all the help from my mom and Bob and amazing friends, all I seem to focus on is the negative. The stupid bonehead that works at the front desk of the hotel who is SO STUPID I can’t get over it. She doesn’t know the meaning of “no stairs”. When I got the wheelchair room for the second night, she made us sit there in the lobby for half an hour while she insisted the housekeepers must eat their lunch first, in front of us, before they put the clean sheets on the bed (which would have taken all of one minute). Then she double booked the wheelchair room, and tried to kick me out. MORON. Then, of course, we have the fact that I am sitting in a wheelchair all day and can’t move myself around. I was dependant on others to push me and everyone was busy running around. I felt like such a burden. Plus? Sitting in a wheelchair all day? SUPER exhausting. And that was the weekend I started this whole not-getting-any-sleep thing so I was super tired and crabby while trying to be smiley and positive. In reality, I was so angry. Angry I couldn’t walk around. Angry I couldn’t be camping or get myself to and from my hotel whenever I wanted. Angry that I didn’t have the energy or ability to party with my friends during the evening activities at the bars (for the Trailer Park Boys, Barney Bentall, Plaid Tongued Devils) and Jason’s house for the party the last night. Angry that I couldn’t run around the grounds, pitching in to volunteer wherever I was needed. Wah, wah, wah, poor me, bitch, whine, bitch.

I actually put in an application with Accessible Housing for a wheelchair accessible apartment, and I’ve got the application forms to apply for funding to get a motorized wheelchair to use around my home. Oops, here I go again, here come the tears. Hang on….

I can’t talk about it without crying so I guess it makes sense that I can’t write about it without crying, either. It’s a very difficult thing to have to face. I am a long ways from the “acceptance” phase, and I don’t really want to go there. I’d rather have a body that works. I think I’ll save this discussion for another day. Moving on…

Remember when I mentioned that guy banging on my bedroom window at 4:00 a.m. a few weeks ago? I don’t think I have to worry about him anymore. That video also features my neighbour Richard, whom I’ve mentioned in here a few times before. He is officially moving out. The moral of this story is, “always pay your drug dealer”.

Okay, so, I need to talk about something fun and fluffy. Shawna is coming over soon, and we are going to make slushy drinks and talk about our mutual crappy weeks. I haven’t had a slushy drink in SO LONG, I am looking forward to it. Oh, and Shawna’s visit too, of course. Tee hee.

I heard from AH yesterday, he is finally back from Lebanon. I expect we may actually get together for our birthday dinner before the snow falls!

I was watching a biogrophy on Hilary Swank the other night, and learned that the year she won the Academy Award for Boys Don’t Cry, she lost her health insurance because in order to be insured through SAG, you need to earn at least $5,000 in the year, and she only made $3,000 for Boys Don’t Cry. THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS!!! Can you believe that? I admire her even more now. She probably earned at least 20 times that for The Next Karate Kid. Her acting in Boys Don’t Cry was such an amazing performance and that movie stayed with me for a long, long time.

And finally, when the Good Lovelies were here last month, Sue managed to catch Pita with her camera doing what I see her do a million times/day:

Caption This.

I do have a happy picture, but first I need to get some complaining off my chest. I’ve had a bad few days with delivery services and I need to VENT.

For starters, my mat table/platform still isn’t here. It was supposed to be here last week. In fact, one of the customer service reps, when she called to confirm my order and freight costs, told me it would be here “next week”, which was the week before last. The website said 10 days shipping when I ordered, and two different customer service people I spoke to said the same thing. So where is it? I called them late last week to ask about it, and was told “oh, that item ships in FOUR to SIX WEEKS”. Excuse me??? She didn’t care that the website and two other people told me differently. I wrote a nasty email to them last week, and since they haven’t responded, I followed it up today. I’m pissed.

One of the reasons I’m pissed, is that I can’t use my Chi Machine without that platform. The Chi Machine that finally arrived yesterday, which would have been here last week, if my friggin’ apartment buzzer worked. It has been out of order for almost two weeks. The first time UPS attempted delivery of my Chi Machine, they assumed I wasn’t home, when I was. I saw the notice on my mailbox. So the next time they attempted delivery, I saw them drive up, and went right to my buzzer to unlock the door (that part works, I just can’t hear buzzes and talk). He did not realize I was unlocking the door for him, I guess, because he left. I went to my patio doors as fast as I could and yelled “HEY, UPS GUY!!” as loud as I could and waved at him getting into his truck, but nothing. If I could run, of course, I could have gotten his attention. So I was left with another notice and rather than have them attempt delivery again with the same results, I asked them to leave it for pick-up and my dad was able to get it for me yesterday.

Of course, I asked my office when, exactly, they planned to fix the buzzers, and their answer is, as always, a resounding “we’re on it”. Sure. They said the same thing about my leaky taps and it took 2 weeks and 3 phone calls (and a zillion litres of water wasted) to get that fixed. You know what my landlord said, when I expressed my concern about the amount of water being wasted (as it wasn’t just dripping, it was full-on RUNNING)? “Oh, no, it’s not wasting water. It’s good for the pipes, it cleans them out”. Hm.

Also, on Friday, my groceries never showed up. They “deliver until 10:00 pm” so I literally watched the window all day and night for them (and for UPS/Chi Machine… argh!) and nothing. It was a long weekend, so my phone call and email was not responded to until Tuesday, with an “according to our records, they were delivered at 4:00 pm.” Uh, NO. To this day she swears she doesn’t know what happened (please… as if the driver doesn’t know if my bin is still in his van, or where he delivered it instead of me? I get the same delivery guy every week!) At least they are giving me a credit (they charge your credit card automatically every week) but that still leaves me short a few food items I wanted and can’t get any other way.

Let’s see, what else can I bitch about… oh, at 4:00 am Tuesday morning I was startled awake by a loud banging on my bedroom window (which was open a tad) and a guy yelling at me. I was pretty much scared shitless, frozen… you know, when someone is at your window, and your bed is RIGHT THERE, it feels like they are standing right next to you with nothing in between. I could tell by his voice and the outline of his ball cap that it was one of the three Jamaican dudes that live in the complex and have caused many problems for my neighbour Richard (scared him into moving out, he is looking for a new place). I tried to yell “I’m calling 9-1-1!” but all that came out was a stifled attempt at that sentence as I picked up my phone and started dialing. He mocked me with a “oooooohhhh I’m calling 9-1-1!” and kept banging, until he could hear that I was actually on the phone with the police, describing him. Then he was gone, but the police said they’d send a car out anyway, in case he was wandering around looking for a place to break into.

I did not fall back asleep without the aid of a sleeping pill, I’m not ashamed to say.

I called the office today and told them what happened, so they are aware these guys are causing problems and scaring the shit out of people. They park their vehicle(s) in the stall beside mine, and I swear I have already seen 5 different vehicles parked there this week. They’ve scared Richard into looking for another place by throwing things at his patio doors, hanging out on his patio being jerks when he is right there in the living room, and taping dirty underwear to his door with a note that said “look out, whitey”. Classy. Richard also has MS and is in need of subsidized/accessible housing, so I’m not sure how soon he will be able to move. He is working with Calgary Housing to find something. I hope it doesn’t come to that with me, that this was a one-off incident, and those guys will move along and move out on their own like the drug dealers across the hall from me did awhile back.

Ahhh, life in ‘da Hood.

And on a happy note,

Super thin crust, pineapple, green peppers, diced tomatoes and “easy on the cheese”. My new fave, a step up from “Pepperoni Lover’s”.

ETA: I am taking a cue from Jodi who is posting photos for a “home comforts” project this month. Starting Saturday and for the rest of the month I am going to post at least one photo every day, that I took that day, of something that made me happy. That day. I need to go looking for things that make me happy every day because THIS WEEK SUCKED. Especially today. But that’s it, it’s over, let’s move on.

I haven’t updated because I can’t sit in this chair long enough. I am in desperate need of a decent desk chair that I can sit in for more than 5 minutes, and we are looking fiercely. It is not as easy as you’d think.

I’m also incredibly stressed and pissed off about inept Landlords, Delivery people, lying customer service, people who JUST DON’T GET IT and can’t comprehend what they’ve heard and read over and over, the death of a former client, and the fact that I can’t dress myself and shower in a normal tub means I’m missing out on what could be the time of my life next weekend.

It’s not a good day… back soon.

To end on a happier note, here is a lovely video of the Good Lovelies performing a Beatle’s song when they were here. THAT was an amazingly fun time, more on that later, too.

So, it’s pretty obvious I’m back to weaning off my anti-depressants some more. How can you tell? Well, aside from the various mood swings I’m having and being easily prone to anger and bitchiness, last night I watched “Enchanted“. And I CRIED and CRIED. Many, many times throughout the movie, for reasons ranging from joy and happiness and fluffiness to self pity and “I don’t even know why”. ENCHANTED! Gimme a F-ing break. (I think this means I enjoyed the movie a LOT more than I want to admit).

For the record, I’m almost down to 5mg/day from the 40mg/day I was taking. I can’t wait until this is over, I really hate this whole weaning thing. It’s hard!!

Oh, and Friday night I watched 27 Dresses and developed a bit of a crush on James Marsden, so ask me how thrilled I was to see him as the Prince in Enchanted? Hee.

And speaking of being easily angered, I had an experience last Saturday that just SET.ME.OFF. (Warning: F-bombs a-plenty coming up). I was on my scooter in Wal-Mart, minding my own business when this (40-ish year old) woman walked past me. I heard her mumble under her breath something about my weight and “get up and walk”. At first I ignored it, but then, no, I couldn’t just let it go, and turned my scooter around to go find her. She was looking at clothes. I rode up to her and asked “WHAT did you say to me??” She looked shocked that I’d come after her, but then she said “get up and walk, you might lose some of that weight” and turned to take off. OHHHHHH MY MOTHER OF GOD. I was seething. I sharply turned my scooter around with the intent to chase her down and, oh, I dunno, run her over/break her neck/cut her in half/give her a piece of my FUCKING mind (I’m not sure what I was going to do, I just knew I wasn’t about to let her get away with that shit) when my front wheel hit the base of a clothing rack and my scooter toppled right over on me. Owieeee! I was on the floor with my scooter on top of me. Luckily, about 5 people ran over to help, including a couple very strong men who got me up off the floor without any trouble. Surprisingly, I wasn’t crying. I thanked everyone and assured them I was fine and carried on with my shopping. It wasn’t until I was on my way home and stopped at Second Cup to get a latte that I started blubbering like a fool. Poor barista, she had no clue what had just happened. I made it home, parked my scooter, fell into my chair all bruised and broken-spirited and bawled and bawled.

I was SO ANGRY. So mad at that fucking woman and her stupid ignorance and need to speak her judgments of me out loud. I COULD NOT BELIEVE someone could be that cruel and ignorant. I mean, even if my weight was the reason I was on a scooter, that does not excuse what she said. She has no fucking clue about me or my medical history or anything, she had NO RIGHT and I trust Ms. Karma kicked her in the ass later that same day. I hope she found out her boyfriend is sleeping around on her and gave her AIDS. I honestly do. I don’t care if she dropped dead 5 minutes later, in fact, I wish it on her to this day. I know it’s a waste of my own energy to still be angry at her, but even as I write this the tears well up and I am just seething with anger. Fucking bitch.

Anyway, this (second) scooter toppling accident has led me to look into getting a 4 wheeler that is more stable!! I have an OT coming by on Tuesday to assess me and my scooter and if my apartment can handle a 4 wheeler getting in and out. My neighbour (the guy who also has MS) has one, so I don’t think it should be a problem in here. He said he wants to “see me drive it around”. I’m not normally setting off to chase down stupid bitches, so he won’t witness reckless driving, but even on my best days I don’t feel completely safe on that thing. I always feel like it could topple over at any time and I’m VERY careful over bumps and cracks on the sidewalks.

I’m reading a really good book right now, Quantum Wellness by Kathy Freston. I never did finish A New Earth, I barely started it to be honest. I’ll get around to it one day. But Quantum Wellness excited me when I saw the author on Oprah, and then on Ellen. She is SO freaking beautiful, she just radiates light and health and wellness and positive energy. She makes you want what she has!! I won’t be going Vegan anytime soon, but her discussions about “conscious eating” really hit me. It may be, as my friend Jason called me, “airy fairy”, but I AM airy fairy about stuff like this. I totally believe everything is energy and we take in energy, put out energy, and attract to ourselves that which is in line with our own energy. You know that about me if you’ve read any of this blog! Anyway, when it comes to food, we also take in THAT energy. The energy of the food… where it came from, how it got to our plate, how the animal was cared for and killed, the energy of the person packaging up the food, the energy of the corporatrion behind creating the food… etc. etc. It was like… a lightbulb moment for me!! I had never thought about it that way before. That when I eat crappy processed/fast food, I am not only ingesting crap which will make my body feel/look like crap, I am ingesting the negative energy associated with that food. Airy-fairy as it may be, I believe it!! If you’ve watched Super Size Me or Fast Food Nation you know how those fast food corporations and their money-hungry executives care more about their bottom line than they do our health (or our bottoms). And all those big processed food companies; from the evil suits at the top of the corporate ladder to the underpaid, stressed out person working the assembly line, we take in alllll that energy. So, for the past couple weeks I’ve been back to ordering groceries from SPUD (a GREAT little company with great people and good energy!) and switching to organic food when possible. It’s not like I will never eat fast food again, but I have certainly become more conscious of it in a very different way than I had before. Thinking of it in a physical health way was never enough to scare me away from it, as much as it should have been, but switch my thinking to how it affects my spiritual health, and you got me! I still need the convenience, though, so my freezer is full of Amy’s Organics (family business!) and my new favourite sweet snack is lemon yogurt with fresh bluberries and organic muesli

I’ve even switched to organic coffee from Cochrane Coffee Traders. (They’re so small they don’t even have a website. But they are a very socially and environmentally conscious company).

Catching some rays

Can’t…handle…the…cute!!

CAN’T HANDLE IT!!!

Cats in Sinks better not reject this face.

I found my last disposable camera the other day, one that I was using when I got my digital for Christmas in 2006. I got the pictures developed, and there were a bunch of cute ones on it. These are a couple of my favourites; I’ll upload the others soon, there are some cute ones!! Pita and Pepper don’t hook up like this often, anymore. I miss those days…

Pepper reminds me of the girl in the pink dress in the Charlie Brown dance

Speaking of Pita, it’s getting worse with the trying-to-keep-her-inside. I thought it was getting better, after I accidently shut her out in the hall when I didn’t know she’d snuck out there, and it took about an hour and a lot of her whining before I realized it. I thought, “good! Now maybe she will be scared to go out there again…” but that didn’t last long. Now one of the women who works in the rental office next door (the one who doesn’t get mad at me when Pita is in the hall) has taken to letting Pita into the office to roam around. She just loves her. OKAY, that’s nice and all, but now Pita KNOWS there is all this life out there, other places to go, people to see… today, after it took forever to get her back inside, she walked around whining and moaning for two hours. She kept going to the door and crying. Sigh…

This is the best comeback of the week year:

The woman is now weighing the pros and cons of having skim milk versus two percent milk in her latte, and she says, “God, I don’t know, I just feel so, like, fat today. I feel like such a big fat cow.”

Then she turns to me, and she says, GET THIS, “How do you stand it every day?”

I blink.

The adorable pierced-and-tattooed boy en flambe blinks.

Several heads in the cafe pop up because nobody can believe this woman actually said this to a total stranger. I feel as if the sitcom camera is pulling in tight for a closeup on my reaction.

But the gods of snark are smiling upon me today. I reply, straightfaced, “You know, it’s normally not too bad, but today I’m having one of those days where I feel like a shallow dumb bitch. How do you stand it every day?”

I wish I could have been there! I don’t get comments like that, I think because I’ve got a walker or scooter or something as my shield. People must think I have enough to deal with, without the fat remarks (to my face). But I’ve certainly been subject to them in the past, even when I wasn’t, what I would consider, “fat”. People can be so rude it’s astounding.

Speaking of being rude, I’m trying my best not to be, and to be happy about the fact that a crazy lady is planning to move into my apartment building, and most likely using me as a reference. Brenda has called me a few times over the past year with some pretty crazy stories and cries for help. Now she may be my neighbour. I really don’t want that… she says she will be here on Thursday to look at the place and fill out the application. I may actually talk to the office about her, because she is trouble. You know when your gut just SCREAMS at you to stay clear of someone? Yeah. I’m already worried.

So… work is picking up in a major way, today one big client delivered their entire year’s worth of stuff, and tomorrow another one will… which means between now and the end of March, when their GST’s are due, I’m swamped. I’ll also get a few more tax returns to do. I did my own yesterday, and woo hoo! Decent refund coming. First time in a long time, thank you medical expenses (I wrote off my electronic lift chair, and all those Quantum Release Therapy sessions added up!) I spent over $4,200 on medical related stuff. Ouch.

So what I’m trying to say, is expect even fewer updates than usual.

Pita’s eyes ended the last entry, so Pepper’s tongue ends this one.

It’s about time this received more international attention… my friend Brett has been writing and speaking about it for so many years.

Okay, so, the past 24 hours have kinda sucked.

It started yesterday afternoon when I went to Wal-Mart to pick up a few groceries. I usually use the self checkout, of which there are 4 stands. One line-up, and you just wait for the next available checkout stand. So I was ringing my things through and almost finished, when I hear the woman next in line say “excuse me ma’am, you have to go to the back of the line, it’s all one line - you don’t stand behind a specific till.” I looked over and saw the woman she was talking to. She yelled “who the hell are YOU?! You can’t tell me what to do!!” and the woman behind me got defensive and said “get to the back of the line! You can’t butt ahead, you’re no one special” and the other one said “and YOU ARE?? And YOU ARE?? Who are YOU??!!?” I then piped up and told the woman behind me I was almost done, and to come on over… and told the troublemaker “she’s right, you know, it’s one line and you need to go to the back,” to which she responded “SHUT YOUR FUCKING WHITE-ASS MOUTH, BITCH!! YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!” I was done bagging my stuff so I just scootered right on out of there. It was only when I was half-way down the mall that I remembered I had used the “cash back” feature on the debit machine and requested $40. In all the commotion I totally forgot my money!! I raced back there, but too late. The cash was gone from the slot, and the woman who used the till after me was nowhere to be seen.

ARGH!!!

Today I slept in. Yeah, so, no big deal, just had a hair appointment at 1:00. So after I got dressed for that I checked my email and eBay stuff. I had left negative feedback for a woman last night who WAY overcharged me for shipping (I don’t normally care too much, because we’re not only paying the cost to ship, but for their time and materials and stuff, so a few bucks more is no biggie). But $10 over was too much, plus she advertised her Crocs as BRAND NEW and what I received had obviously been worn. Anyway, I left negative feedback so of course she left me negative feedback, saying “watch out for Canadians!! Refund offered and still left negative. Not nice.” and rebuffed my negative feedback by saying she offered a refund. SO not true. I had emailed her before I left the feedback and all I got back from her was a rude email, telling me I’m “too picky”.

So my day started out with me in a bad mood. And you know what they say in The Secret and all that, we create our world with our thoughts, and if you’re in a bitchy mood to begin your day, things just spiral. So 20 minutes before I needed to leave for my hair appointment, I lost my balance and fell backwards on my ass. Scraped my hand pretty bad:

There is a lovely bump and bruise forming there and it hurts like hell to touch!

but I think that’s all. It just shook me up. I didn’t really have time to regain my composure when I managed to get myself up; I wiped the tears from my eyes and got on my scooter to leave. I backed it up, and the walker carrier on the back of my scooter attached itself to my TV stand and DRAGGED MY TV ACROSS THE ROOM. I’ve been soooo careful when backing up not to hit my TV since I got that walker carrier, it sticks out pretty far. But I guess I was too flustered today.

Hello there, you belong in the corner. You’re also supposed to be a 52″ flat screen.

So. Yes. Great day so far, huh?

Then I got my hair done, so let’s hope things turn around now, because I think that worked out well:

I think I’m attempting a “look down like a mysterious temptress” look. Ahem.

So anyway, a couple lattes and a voice mail message from my buddy Jason later, I’m feeling better. Tonight I’m going to watch a movie and go to bed early… and hope for a better day tomorrow!!

Pepper is SO going there.

“Mmmmm…. paper…..”

Boxy but Good