Can You Hear Me Now?

So much going on lately! I need to organize some sort of fundraiser to help cover the costs of my Liberation treatment, but it will have to wait until after the procedure because there is just too many other things to deal with right now. Moving this month, making all the arrangements and actually going away for two weeks in July, and setting up Self-Managed Care. I finally got approved for it, so I need to set up a business… open a bank account, set up payroll and WCB accounts, write the job description, and start interviewing caregivers and hopefully find a few that can cover the times I need. It will be part time spread over 7 days/week, morning help and evening help. I have until August 15 to get it all set up.

Sigh.

Of course, I can always hope that post-liberation I won’t need as much help. That would be BEYOND awesome, but I can’t count on that 100%. There are a lot of things I need to wrap my head around and seriously commit to. Fixing my veins is only part of it. It’s not going to cure me, but it will hopefully give me an opportunity to heal my body without the worry of further progression. With fatigue, brain fog and hopefully blurry vision lifted, I will have the energy and desire to work on myself again. Diet, exercise, meditation and a good range of supplements related to vascular health will be a necessity. A total necessity. If I am given the gift of feeling better and able to do more, I can not take that for granted. If my lifestyle and frame of mind stays the same, I will find myself right back here before too long. There is much work to be done and I’m counting on that 10 day recovery program in Costa Rica to give me a good start in a new direction. A new life. A NEW LIFE! I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited!!!

The fight for the right to CCSVI treatment in this country continues on a daily basis. One of the people in our court is the amazing Dr. Kirsty Duncan, Liberal MP for Etobicoke (Ontario) North. This lady is working so hard to help us! It’s fantastic having her on our side. The more politicians, the better, because they can actually make the changes from within. May 26 was National MS day, so I took the liberty of emailing every MP in the country about this. I sent Kirsty an individual email though, to thank her for all the work she is doing, and told her a little about myself and why this is so important to me. The following evening she emailed me back, stating she had tried to call me twice but couldn’t get through because I don’t accept calls from private numbers. So before bed I removed the Call Screen, and let her know by email that it was safe for her to call. That was at 9:45 pm, 11:45 pm in Toronto, so I was expecting I’d hear from her the following day. But, at 10:15 my phone rang! I saw the “private number” and thought… “no way!” and answered it.

We talked for probably half an hour. What a fabulous lady. I honestly felt like I made a new friend. She gave me her personal email address and asked me to contact her any time I need to talk. I cried a lot during our conversation; not so much that I couldn’t speak (the “ugly cry”) but enough that she knew how emotional this all is for me. She told me “you’re so strong! I can hear it in your voice! You’re a fighter!” We talked about my musician friends (possible benefit concert or two!) and my kitties. I told her about my time in the care facility and how afraid I was that I would have to give them up to go into assisted living. “But you didn’t!” She said. “See? You’re strong!” She is so passionate about helping us and is working around the clock. She must have given up everything else she was ever working on, to focus on this. I mean, calling a chick in Calgary at 12:15 am? Way to make me feel important!

Today in Parliament there was another meeting of the Subcommittee on Neurological Health, and there were many great speakers, including Kirsty. The one who made me BAWL was Steve Garvie, a secondary progressive MSer who got his life back after Liberation. He moved out of his assisted living apartment 3 months ago!! He talked about pride (how he had none, like me… everybody has had to wipe my ass and see me naked, there is no pride left here) and suicide, for the same reasons I think about it. You can hear everyone speaking on this audio. It’s long, but so worth it, after you get over the kafuffle about the slides needing to be in French as well as English. I started to cry when Dr. McDonald said “I’d like to point out that Rebecca Cooney is back with us today, (Rebecca spoke at Parliament a few weeks ago), and this time she walked in without a wheelchair, she had her venoplasty done in New York a little over a week ago, she is doing just great.” There was applause, and I broke down. Can you imagine?

I’m meeting with a caregiver tomorrow about coming to Costa Rica with me. I sure hope that works out! She sounded great on the phone, so fingers crossed. Also? I was looking at flights online and the return ones are fine, but all the ones going TO San Jose have, like, 12 hour layovers in Dallas! NO! I better be able to find something better. It should only be a 7ish hour flight + connection. There MUST be better connections than that! Also? Air travel in July is friggin’ expensive.

My awesome House Call Vet came over yesterday to trim the cats’ claws. I didn’t want to need to call a vet to come out here just for that, $$$, but whaddaya do. I haven’t been able to find a mobile pet groomer to do that, and it needed to be done. Especially before the move, to kinda save the poor person responsible for getting them in the cat carrier. Pita was easy to catch, she’s always in your face, but squirmed like crazy when he trimmed her. By the time he got to the back paws she was bitching, but no hissing, so he managed to finish. Pepper, on the other hand, was hard to catch. He earned his money chasing her around! At one point he got the step ladder out of the closet to get her from on top of the kitchen cupboards, but she escaped. He worked up a sweat. Finally he got her the second time she jumped on the cabinets, and whisked her into the bathroom. She didn’t squirm, she kind of froze up once he actually got a hold of her. Anyway, that’s done. It cost about the same as me getting a mani/pedi, so if I can spend it on myself, I can spend it on them. It’s life changing for us all when their claws are short, so it’s worth it! No more “OWWIE” when they knead on me. (They hate it though. So noted when Pita tried to jump up the back of my chair and claw her way to the top and she just fell off. Oops).

The above was written yesterday and I received a call from the caregiver I was going to meet with that SHE CAN’T GO! Major panic. I have to find someone TODAY. Damn damn damn who doesn’t want to go to Costa Rica for two weeks?? This is harder than I thought.

I just found video on You Tube of Steve Garvie’s speech from yesterday! You must listen. It is stunning and you will cry. I bawled because his “before” situation is pretty much the same as mine and if I could get that kind of “after” result… wow.

Yesterday we had a power failure all over NE Calgary. I was sitting here in my lift chair, writing this entry and thinking “need to get up to pee in a sec” and then POP everything went out. Including phones and internet. So I’m stuck in my chair (which I now can’t get out of because, well, it’s electric) needing to pee. I tried not to think about it, trusting the power would be right back. After about 15 minutes I did start to panic, and THIS is why I keep my cell phone on my walker tray and NEVER take it out with me, because I will forget it’s in my purse and leave it there and be unable to get it at times like this. So I called my dad from my cell and asked him if he could bring over a couple 9 volt batteries so I could get out of my chair (I forget sometimes that TWO 9 volt batteries only work for ONE lift out of this chair as back up power). He was half an hour away and I really needed to pee so I tried Shawna, who lives close. Her power was out, too, but luckily she had the car (the BF usually has it in the evenings for work) and was able to come right away, after a quick stop at the dollar store for batteries. About 10 minutes later the power magically re-appeared. Of course. So I got up to pee and Shawna arrived with batteries and we ordered in dinner (least I could do!) Then another 10 or so minutes later, my dad arrived with batteries. So there is a fresh set in the back up power bar and extras in the drawer. Hopefully this won’t happen again! I don’t know what I would do if our city had to suffer though a power outage for days, like many other cities have. What do the disabled people do, stuck in their chairs and lifts and power beds and no A/C or even a fan? I’d die!

Between working on this update I have been making a zillion phone calls and updating the CCSVI Calgary mailing list and website and sending out notices and blah blah blah. Busy day. My procedure date got changed to July 10 because it’s a Catholic country and they won’t do procedures on a Friday for a Sunday discharge. So I go on Saturday for a Monday discharge. Interesting.

I’m beat and my eyes and hand are done for the day, so CIAO.

The family (all of them - this now includes my mom, Bob my Stepdad, my Dad, my brother and his girlfriend) were all here a couple weeks ago for Thanksgiving dinner. They brought the food, of course, and the plan was to use my oven to cook and my kitchen to prepare and serve. Do these things ever work out as planned? My kitchen is not set up for food preparation because I’m not able to do it. Counter space is very limited because I need to keep the things I use the most in easy reach. There is no room for even two people to move around. The oven decided to conk out in the middle of everything. So the food ended up being served in scattered order, while we waited for the main dish to cook and microwaved what we could.

All in all, it worked out and we ate lots and there was pumpkin pie. I called the office about my oven, then two days later my dad used it (we are on a regular rotation of baking me kale chips -yum) and it worked fine. When maintenance came to look at it they found nothing wrong. And it’s been working fine ever since. Weird… but I’m happy I get my kale chips every time my dad comes over! I’ve got two huge bunches of organic kale in the fridge right now, waiting to be washed, chopped and baked. I never knew it was possible to love healthy greens so much. I highly recommend them.

I’m super, super, super excited to announce after years of hoping and wishing, I will be getting back into a swimming pool TOMORROW. Finally! I worked out a schedule with my dad to get me there and back twice/week and Home Care was able to find a caregiver that can meet me there and help me in the change room. I did go to that appointment with a physiotherapist on the 19th, but we decided their program is not right for me (and they don’t have access to an NMES machine). I’ve decided to do the pool on Mondays and Wednesdays, and apparently I can still see the P/T I was seeing a few months ago, so I’m gong to try to set up a standing Friday appointment with him. I can do only once/week there as long as I’m doing water exercises a couple other days. I’m hoping this will all help me lose weight/get stronger so I can get some independence back. I’ve lost so much recently.

My friend Shawna helped me get out yesterday with my power chair and we took a Handi-bus on a little excursion downtown! I haven’t been there in years, but it’s all a huge construction zone right now so I’m not really interested in going again for at least another year. My chair is a MUCH better ride on the Handi-bus. What a difference from my scooter. I didn’t scream or feel unsafe once! With it being colder and all, I’m not able to get myself out the door as I need help with my coat and stuff. Again, I’m hoping the pool will help my independence because not being able to come and go from my apartment without help puts a damper on my entire LIFE. I actually have a call in to a social worker to discuss my options for assisted living centres/retirement homes (that take youngsters like me). I’ve been checking out some places that have websites, and they sound a lot like Carewest Glenmore Park (see my “Wristomania” section for my adventures in that place) except obviously more private because you have your own living space. I do think I would have a better life in one of those places right now, but of course I’d rather get stronger, more independent, and stay where I am. Or move to a newer apartment with laminate floors, fresh counters, cupboards and appliances, and automatic doors! And an indoor pool, can’t forget that. I want, I want, I want.

I know something’s not right in my world when over in my “category” list my Health posts far outweigh my Music posts. Sigh.

I was starting to work on another 101 List but I’ve already completed a couple of them (taking an excursion downtown with my power chair, finding a way to get back in the pool). I may keep those on the list anyway and be able to start it by crossing off a couple of things. I’m not so sure about making another list though, or if I should just write a basic Bucket List. Or NO list. I only completed 54% of my last list, mostly due to not having the independence to get out there and get the stuff done, and hoping for big dreams like “walking to Walmart and back” again. Oh well, I guess it’s good to have big goals and dreams. I just feel like a failure when I don’t accomplish them. Like “lose the excess weight” has been a goal for… HOW many years, now? Since I was… 10? And not even fat? Sigh.

Oh speaking of walking, my least favourite slogan in life is the one being used by the Weekend to End Breast Cancer walks/events in Canada: “Breast cancer is hard. Walking isn’t”. I’m really flabbergasted that an organization like that would use such an insensitive slogan that is offensive to the thousands of people with diseases, injuries, arthritis, etc. who struggle to take just one step if they are able to at all. I recently found out I am not alone in this thinking, as a friend of mine made the website Walking Is Hard and even got some press coverage for it. Way to go Allie!

That was written yesterday. Then my dad showed up and we went for lunch and there was a ton of Monty Python anniversary stuff on TV so I never got to finish!

So TODAY I’m off to the pool. Very soon. I’ve got butterflies in my stomach I’m so excited.

I made another call this morning and finally registered with Meals on Wheels. Something I should have done ages ago, but kept putting it off because I’m a fairly picky eater (don’t like mushrooms, most seafood, little stuff like that which obviously they can’t cater to) and from what I heard from all the seniors at Carewest the food is “gross” and “boring”. So I registered for standard meal service (lunch and hot dinner) 3 days/week. If I HATE it I can stop it. But I think it will be better than the way I feed myself most of the time now, and it’s cheap, and I requested the gluten free diet which will cut out the baked goods/desserts and be gentle on my system which acts up once in awhile from wheat-y stuff. She also said they’d cut up my food for me when I mentioned I only have use of one hand! I won’t get local/organic foods out of them but I have to take what I can get, right? I can still place my orders with Spud for snacks and replace MoW apples with my organic ones.

I’m still on Twitter, but I keep changing who I follow. I discovered, *newsflash*, that a lot of beautiful/famous people are boring as hell and can’t spell, and all the “your” instead of “you’re” gets on my nerves after awhile, (and no, it’s not that they’re trying to keep it under 140 characters) so I stopped following a bunch. Including the guy I mentioned a few entries ago. I still follow every writer from The Office I can find. Oh, and Christina Applegate is NOT one of the stupid beautiful people. LOVE her. I unfollowed people I also have on Facebook who use software to update both statuses at the same time, too many repeats. Except Rob Szabo and Peter Katz, I don’t have the heart to unfollow them. I try to keep my following list around 100 but there are so many updates it’s hard to keep up. And if Louise Hay tweets something meaningful it gets lost in a sea of funny stuff and doesn’t really register. Sometimes I do wish I had stuck to my “I WILL NEVER TWITTER!” declaration.

But I also like seeing “I’ll be on Leno (Letterman, Kimmel, Conan, Fallon, Ferguson, name your talk show) tonight” so I know what to set my PVR for!

Hello, I’m here, still alive. Just so far behind in posting anything that I’m going to do this in note form to get caught up. I will need to review Twitter and Facebook statuses to remember my life.

Oh, but first, I want to point something out. I realized something recently that I forgot to mention in my last post. If you have EVER written me an email to my donna@innereyes address or left me a comment that you thought I would respond to (especially first time commenters) and you never heard back from me, it’s because I learned via something Robyn said in her Wordpress blog that spam filters are catching these emails. That was a major “A-HA” moment for me, because I have received a lot of nice emails out of the blue from readers, and I have answered every one of them by just hitting “reply” and using the default innereyes address they sent it to, yet I never heard a peep from these people again, even when I asked them a question back. So I am SO SORRY! I receive all the emails and comments that get sent to innereyes, but I will respond from a different address from now on. This has probably been going on for years! Don’t hate me, if you’re even still reading or you stopped because you thought I was a stuck up snob. I DID respond to you!!

Anyway, about my exciting life you keep coming back to check on:

- I got my PVR hooked up. Telus said they’d be here between noon and 2:00, and they book “4 to 5 hours for the installation”. They arrived at noon, it took 15 minutes max, then they left. No doubt to go spend the sunny afternoon on a patio somewhere on their employer’s dime.

- I love my PVR

- A client came by with his tax stuff (yes, he’s always late) and because the receipts were an unorganized, wrinkled mess-in-a-box, I sent him home and told him to come back when they’re sorted. That USED to be my job, but I am so over that shit. Between my vision issues and the use of only one hand, I am not fighting with receipts anymore. And it really doesn’t bother me if I lose clients over it. I’m not enjoying my work much anymore, so I think it’s time to figure out something else I can still do. Like write that damn book…

- “Samantha Who?”, a TV show I absolutely love, has been cancelled. I joined the Twitter campaign to save it, but I don’t know if it’s helping. Catch the final previously unaired episodes Thursdays starting June 25 on ABC (John Taylor from Duran Duran is on the 25th! Wheee!) They’re showing repeats on Friday nights until then. Great show. Stupid ABC.

- Speaking of stupid ABC, I am watching The Bachelorette although I’m not really paying attention. I do hope the best for my Alberta girl Jillian, however. She’s a sweetie and, hey, the Calgary Stampede was even mentioned in one episode. Yeehaw!

- They did a cockroach inspection in my building because there have “been complaints”. SHIIIIIIT!!! There is no sign of them in my apartment, thank God (and kitty cats), and I hope and pray it stays that way. Once roaches invade a building that is IT. I’m hoping the complainers were really seeing small mice. Because I’ve had that problem and DID get rid of that!

- I’ve been going for physio fairly regularly. Unfortunately, the entire process of arranging the ride, getting out of my apartment, waiting for the ride, the ride itself, exercising, then doing it all again in reverse is sometimes too much for me that day and I have to cancel. Oh, how I wish we could get PT in our homes. The Range of Motion I get from my home care worker is great, and I got it increased to 4X/week, but it’s just simple stretches and doesn’t do anything to improve strength.

- The Executive Producer of the Oprah show is following me on Twitter. She asked her thousands of followers to tell her how long they’d been watching, favourite episodes, etc. and she would follow a few back. I sent several messages because I have been watching Oprah since 1812, and even remember her appearances on The Tonight Show and David Letterman back when she was promoting The Color Purple and her “new show”. So her Exec. Prod. Sheri Salata is following me now and I have yet to say anything brilliant to make her think “wow, we must fly that girl to Chicago and put her on the show.” Maybe she’s not too impressed that I whined about the cost of shipping an Oprah show mug (not to her, just in general). But, seriously? I got an Ellen Degeneres show mug, a book, and shipping to Canada, all for $35US. An Oprah mug is $12 PLUS $35 for shipping! I can’t justify that. I love my Ellen mug, by the way. Great handle.

- AH has been in Lebanon for the past couple of weeks. One of the political parties there offered to fly out any Canadian families with dual citizenship for free, for 30 days, if they voted for them. Not too corrupt now, is it? I don’t know the voting procedures over there, but I’d like to know how they can be sure the vote is going to them? Anyway, I guess their tactic worked because they won.

- I attended a mini high school reunion of a bunch of us ladies that went to school together. It was all organized through our re-connecting on Facebook. It was great fun, my friend Lisa picked me up and although I was assured the location was wheelchair accessible, our gathering was held in a private room that was up two little steps (with no railing otherwise I could have managed). I don’t have one of those chairs you can tilt backwards to roll up steps (I have safety bars to keep it from tilting backwards, but times like this it would be nice to be able to remove them). So two big, strong bartenders carried me in my chair up the steps. Times like this it would also be nice to weigh 92 pounds. Anyway, we had fun, the food and service was amazing, everyone looked fabulous, have fabulous lives and families and money, and I came home and wanted to stab myself. Heh.

- The following weekend my friend Kim and her daughter came into town (from Red Deer area) and we went to Cora’s for lunch. I want to eat there every day.

***Tee hee! I started typing this entry several days ago and right now it is Sunday, June 14. Today my dad, brother and his girlfriend picked me up to go for lunch and wandering through Prince’s Island Park. I talked them into going to Cora’s for lunch. Hee!***

- I downloaded and have been listening to Deepak Chopra’s “Quantum Healing” audiobook. It makes so much sense. I was shocked to hear it was recorded in 1989. That’s 20 years ago! He was talking about this stuff even back then! I wish I had heard it 20 years ago. Of course, 20 years ago I was in good health and wouldn’t have sought it out. That’s the thing; when you are in good health, you don’t think about your health. When you’re struggling with your health, it is all you can think about. Therein lies one of the problems. An interesting part of the audio is the good reminder that our cells are constantly dying off and being replaced with new ones. The skin is replaced every month, the liver every 6 weeks. Over the course of a year we have an entire new brain! The stomach tumor diagnosed a few months ago is not composed of the same set of cells as is there today, now repeating the pattern that was set into place earlier. Our cells replicate based on our patterns and beliefs. Happy thoughts produce happy molecules, unhappy thoughts produce unhappy molecules. Although cases of spontaneous deathly cancer cures and disease remissions are rare, they do happen enough to believe it is possible to change our patterns and heal. Chopra says “everyone’s body knows how to heal a cut. Apparently a few people have bodies that know how to cure cancer. Every day a few cancer cells arise in your body, and automatically the DNA, the intelligence in your body knows how to take care of them. So called “spontaneous” remissions are nothing more than an exaggerated phenomenon of what is happening all the time”. There is a lot more to it than that, obviously, and it makes me want to look into Ayurvedic medicine a lot more. I’d like a body that knows how to heal MS! Louise Hay has always said to use the healing affirmation “I am willing to release the pattern in me that has created this condition.” I do say that every day, but not very often and I probably follow it shortly after with a swear word or two so a lot of good that does me!

- Speaking of cells and cell health, I’ve been taking StemEnhance in the large doses for just over a month now. No difference yet. But if the new stem cells I’m making are a part of my old MS thought pattern, and I don’t make healthy cells, then by enhancing the amount I make, could I be making myself worse? Ahhhhh. Of course the scientist behind the product would say “no”, but my basic common sense has me wondering. So every time I take 2 StemEnhance capsules I now follow it with a 1/4 tsp. of Ambrotose, which is supposed to support cellular health and “cell to cell” communication. I know from personal experience (I started taking Ambrotose in 2000) that it is a good product and certainly helps with MS fatigue, but like every other supplement I got lazy about taking it and the cost is so high… but since I have a couple of unopened jars around here I decided this was as good a time as any to commit to taking at least minimal amounts along with the StemEnhance and it should be a great combination! If the claims are true, StemEnhance makes MORE stem cells, and Ambrotose makes those cells healthy. I am an MLM distributor’s dream! Also, a human guinea pig. I’m going to call some StemTech people today because the more I think about that, the more it has me worried. Otherwise, I plan to do this for at least 2 more months before I draw any conclusions. And the next place I’ll use my credit card is right here. I really need to win a lottery, this stuff is expensive!

- I went to the information session on Self-Managed Care. Wow, they sure do overwhelm you and don’t make it easy for you. I think I will go for it, though, because at this point I really do need more assistance than regular home care can provide me with. However, I am looking at at least a year long waiting list so it won’t happen anytime soon. They only have 500 people in the program (out of the 11,000 home care clients in the city) with 58 people on the waiting list. No one gets in unless someone leaves (death or move to assisted living) plus they prioritize the waiting list. Since I’m already receiving a fair bit of home care service with my 6 days per week personal care, 4 days range of motion and an hour every 2 weeks for homemaking, I’m told I’d be at the bottom of the priority list. Bah. Anyway, I’ll be assessed at some point to decide on how much I qualify for (I want to hire someone that can help me get in a POOL!!!) and get on that list. As it is, any friends or family that visit me become automatic caregivers for the duration of their visit because I don’t have one! And that is not fair.

- The assessment will be done by my O/T, but he’s a little busy for me right now because I received my approval letter for the power wheelchair!!! I’m not sure when exactly I’ll be getting it, but I AM getting it! Woo hoo!

- I saw a couple good movies, He’s Just Not That Into You and Role Models (soooooo funny! Jane Lynch at her hilarious best!) I have seen commercials for movies I want to see, and some that… well… Eddie Murphy needs to stop making movies.

- I may bitch about our government from time to time, as is my right as a voter, but I am truly blessed to live in Canada. I read other blogs and what other MSers go through and the costs to get medication and help and I am so lucky. Also? Signed another one year contract for my rent subsidy. Between my AISH (Assured Income for the Severely Handicapped), my rent subsidy and all medical and home care costs paid for, a person can actually live a modest life with a little dignity and not file for bankruptcy because they can’t afford their medical bills. Of course, I still think our Health Care system is a “Sick Care” system and as I choose natural health products, procedures and supplements I’m on my own, when it comes right down to it I do take a couple meds I don’t have to pay for and see doctors and dentists and stay in hospitals and get a POWER WHEELCHAIR and daily help to shower and dress and… I’m lucky. Thank you Government for letting me count.

- This You Tube sensation is a local guy. He made front page news here. He needs to go on Ellen, no one would appreciate the power of one person dancing to start something like that more than her!

I think the cats knocked my card reader onto the floor in behind the shelf where I keep my Macbook, so I can’t get to all the pictures on my camera. So these are from my dad’s Blackberry again.

Pita and Pepper had a stare-down the other day. It started in the living room with Pepper ready to smack down Pita, but turned into a staring contest with Pita slowly walking backwards and Pepper following her, never taking their eyes off each other, ready to pounce at any moment. It’s times like this you realize why you MUST have more than one cat.

And the winner is… Pepper!

But Pita is still a STAR.

Further to my previous post, I have decided feeling sorry for myself is not going to help or change my situation in any way (newsflash!) and I need to seriously look at my options. This comes after I received an email from a dear friend of mine, Jaz. Jaz has muscular dystrophy and has much less use of her body than I have of mine. I’m not even sure of her age anymore, but she wasn’t more than 19 or 20 when I met her, so “mid-20’s” is a safe bet. Anyway, she is wise beyond her years and one of the most inspiring, optimistic people you could ever hope to meet. I met her first online and we’ve only met in person once, back when I was a positive and inspiring person myself. Qualities I’ve been lacking recently. Jaz lives in a small town I have never been to but I fully intend to get my dad to take me out there one weekend so I can see her and give her a much deserved hug for all the kicks in my butt she has so gently given me via email and Facebook.

So Jaz wrote me after reading my last blog post and encouraged me to seriously look into self-managed care, which is where the health region assesses your needs and funds you for a personal caregiver based on your needs. The difference between this and Home Care is that I am responsible for hiring the person myself, and paying them, taking care of payroll deductions and all that stuff. The main reason I have put off getting registered with this service is because you can’t be on Home Care at the same time, so if the person you hire is sick or doesn’t show up one day, you’re screwed. It sounded like too much stress to me, since I can’t dress myself and stuff. But Jaz made quite a few good points and got me thinking about how the pros outweigh the cons, especially since I live alone and could probably get funding for someone pretty much full time, to help with shopping, cooking, cleaning, appointments, even to accompany me to the pool and help me in the change room. And if Jaz can find someone reliable in her small town, I should be able to hire someone in the city. I’m not sure how much money the health region provides you with for pay, but since the economy isn’t what it was, it should be easier to find someone now than it would have been a year ago. As Jaz said, in all her wisdom, “we have to accept the changes that happen to our bodies like it or not. All we can do is adapt our surroundings to maintain our happiness. Being happy is vital.” Jaz, you need to write a book.

So I will be talking to my home care nurse about this next week. It will take awhile to set up, but will hopefully work out for the best.

Another thing I decided since my last post was to increase my StemEnhance shipment to two bottles a month, so I can see how I do on 4 capsules/day instead of 2. So I emailed the guy I ordered from and asked him to increase my autoship, because I didn’t see a way to change my order myself from his website. This prompted him to call me, and put me on a 3-way call with the head office to confirm. After we did that, we continued chatting for a few minutes (without the head office on the line) and I told him I have MS and figured I should try an increased dosage before I give up altogether, since I have this condition I hope to see improved, and I’m not just taking it for “overall health”. Now, understand, this man had never spoken to me before and as far as he was concerned, I’m just one of his many random online customers (he is very high up in the company and has many of those) and did not know I have MS or anything. He said, “hey, I have a friend in the company who has a daughter with MS and he has a really good story, do you want me to see if I can get him on the phone so you can hear what he has to say?” I said sure, why not.

So he calls Dennis in Spokane, makes introductions, and explains to Dennis that I have MS and would like to hear about his daughter. I explain that I’ve been taking 2 StemEnhance per day and was just increasing to 4 per day because I’m not noticing anything, and Dennis said “no, I don’t imagine you would at that low a dose…” He asked me a bit about my health and disease progression, then went into his story:

“My wife and I got involved with StemTech a few years ago and take 6 capsules/day. We are in our mid-70’s and our health was declining, so it has been great for us as we are back to being healthy, active seniors and we are very involved with our church and social activities and love to dance and travel… (etc., etc.) Our daughter lives in San Diego and when the was 47 she was diagnosed with MS. They said she’d had it for about 15 years but sometimes the diagnosis takes a long time. Anyway, when she told us she was needing to use a walker to go to the bathroom because her foot dragged so much when she walked, I insisted she give StemEnhance a try. I told her to take 6/day and let us know how she was doing after a couple months (we don’t really talk very often). So a couple months later we talked, and I asked her how she was doing on the StemEnhance, and she asked `do you want the truth, dad?` I said of course, and she said she didn’t notice ANY difference at all. I was very upset by this, so I called the company to speak with (one of the scientist/doctor types that work on the development of the product) and demanded to know why it wasn’t helping my daughter. He suggested that since the MS has been in her body for many years, she has a lot of myelin damage and would need to take a lot more StemEnhance to fix that (editor’s note - my words, because I can’t remember exactly what he said and StemTech isn’t allowed to say its products fix or cure anything, as is the way it is for all health products that aren’t FDA approved drugs blah blah blah) He said she should work her way up to taking 2 capsules EVERY TWO HOURS throughout her waking hours, and if she gets up in the middle of the night to pee, take 2 more. So I passed this on to my daughter, and since she and her husband are well off money isn’t an object so she started doing that right away. Within two months she was running on her treadmill again.”

Dennis went on to say that they know another women with MS they met at a StemTech conference who used to be in a wheelchair, but over the course of a few months taking 2 capsules every 2 hours she went from the wheelchair to a walker to a cane to not needing any assistance to walk. “I mean, she’s not running marathons by any means, but she’s getting around pretty good.” When you take 2 capsules you are releasing millions of adult stem cells into your body, “so imagine a push like that every two hours”. I mentioned that unlike his daughter, money IS an issue for me. Of course I was given the spiel about how much money I would save if I joined as a distributor and started selling the product myself, you know the drill. I made it clear I am NOT comfortable selling anything PERIOD, but especially something I can’t say really works until I have experienced the results myself. And since, after making a few calculations, I’d need to take around 7 or 8 bottles a month for 4-6 months to know if it was going to help me, (and then wean down to 3/month) that’s a hell of a lot of $$ I don’t have. Dennis simply suggested I look for help and support from friends and family (or “my church” but I don’t have one so that’s not an option). My rep told me if I signed up at the $1,000 level I’d get 24 bottles which is a great start, and of course he would help me with the “business” end of it (”I made $8,000 my first month…”) (gulp).

I hung up the phone and started to cry. I cried because, oh, wouldn’t it be amazing to improve, even a little? And what if I COULD walk without assistance again? I cried because, how many success stories do I nave to hear about from people who take these MLM health products and convince me to sink money into it, just to find out it doesn’t work like that for me? I cried because, I do believe in stem cells and how they can cure diseases, but WHY WHY WHY will it take 20 years before the current research being done will be available to treat us, if not longer??? And in the meantime, we have to shovel out thousands of dollars, searching for help? I cried because even though taking large amounts of StemEnhance is a lot cheaper than going to China, I still don’t have that kind of money.

I called my mom and told her about the phone conversation I’d just had. She told me “you have to try. Don’t even think about the cost. Talk to your dad, and if he is willing to go half with me, then sign up. Or even if he’s not. You have to try it for at least 6 months and we will help you. You can’t give up”. So, I talked to my dad, and this is the result. I should receive my shipment early in the week and I’ll certainly let you all now how it works for me. When I start noticing real, lasting improvement I will shout it from the rooftops. And if it doesn’t work for me and it’s just more money down the drain, well, at least I’m not sitting here wondering “what if?”. I truly believe in stem cell treatments, so, as long as this product really DOES increase the number of adult stem cells being released, then I am hopeful.

Speaking of “what if”, I have watched The Rocker 6 times in the past 8 days and am addicted to the soundtrack. FYI.

Friday was my 41st birthday. I didn’t really want to do anything, because 40 was the big one so I’m not interested in anything major until, like, 50. But my family would have none of that! So my brother and his girlfriend came over on Friday night and made me a yummy dinner (Duska cooked) and I made them watch The Rocker (which they loved). Then on yesterday my mom, Bob, my dad, my brother and Duska (and me) all went to Red Lobster for lunch and birthday cake/wait staff singing, followed by a drive out to Cochrane for ice cream. Later on my friend Shawna came over to hang out (and watch The Rocker), which was nice. Her and Billy are taking me out for dinner next weekend, yay!

I do have my camera back, but haven’t taken any photos yet. So here is one my bro took of my yummy cake yesterday:

I still have one piece left so I’m going to go eat it now.

Today I’m a little pissed off because the O/T from Home Care showed up completely unannounced with another power wheelchair, but because he didn’t bother to call me in advance, I had to send them away because I was working on a deadline. He insisted that he had called me and made an appointment, which is not true. Even after I closed the door I could hear him telling the W/C rep that he knows he called me and I must have forgotten because, you know, MS can affect cognitive behaviour. I felt like going out there and pulling him back inside to show him my call display history and the fact his number wasn’t there in the past two weeks since I last deleted history. That the only call from the C@lgary Health Region was yesterday, when they called to speak to my home care worker. That shit pisses me off. My mind hasn’t been affected by my MS thank GOD, or I wouldn’t be doing the work I do, and I don’t appreciate it when people blame someone else, especially when that someone is me, rather than take responsibility for their own mistakes. Jerk. At any rate, we rescheduled for next week.

I just realized this is my 500th entry! Which is cool, but also pathetic when you look at how long I’ve had this blog. I started a journal at Diary-X in 2001, and it still irks me that the thousands of online diaries hosted there were lost when their server crashed because they never backed up. I lost years of my life there! I never thought it could be lost… I didn’t understand how servers and all that worked. I still don’t. But back then, like most people, I trusted that once I hit “publish”, what I wrote was forever out there in internet land. One of these days I really need to print off my entries here and file them for safe-keeping (even though I know Russ backs up). But I need to buy paper first, now that I know I’ll need more than 500 sheets!

The above was written when I started an entry almost two weeks ago. I don’t know what to say, besides the fact that I, as Robyn said last week, have been feeling uninspired. The difference being, of course, Robyn takes off a few days whereas I disappear for a MONTH. I still don’t feel like talking much, so this may be short! (Well, not a month’s worth of entries, anyway).

Last week my O/T came by again with another power wheelchair, and this one worked great! So now that I’ve got the chair picked out, the application is going in. They only look at a certain number of applications each month, so if they haven’t met their quota for May I should find out within a month if I get it. Fingers crossed!

My mom and Bob were here yesterday, and they bought me a new office chair for my birthday. Bob put it together, and I sat in it long enough to think it should work for me! I’ll see how I feel after working in it today. If I’m able to sit at my desk for longer than 15 minutes at a time without my butt, back and legs aching up, I may not have to give up all my clients next year!

As for my Beat Insomnia Plan, it’s working a little bit, but not as well as I’d hoped. I realize now that is because I spend 99% of my time indoors, on my butt. You remember when you were a kid, and you walked to and from school, and got sunshine, fresh air, and activity every day? And when you went to bed at night, you SLEPT? We are not meant to sit around inside all day. I’m using my Litebook every morning for my *sunshine*, which is helping, but I’m not able to do all I need to really beat insomnia. I asked my home care worker what her other MS client does (he is paralyzed from the neck down and confined to his chair all day) to sleep, and she said “he doesn’t, he has a hell of a time getting any sleep.” So that’s it, right there. People who work on farms all day or in landscaping and gardening must sleep amazingly well. And those able to go for a walk during their lunch hour shouldn’t do too bad. So I don’t know what people in my situation or worse are supposed to do. Insomnia is going to take over the world, with the amount of children and adults who get to school or work barely setting a foot outside, work inside all day, then come home and flop in front of the TV and computer for the night. Get outside, people! Get some exercise! So that is just one more thing that has gotten a lot worse for me over the years as my mobilty has worsened.

I’ve been quite the downer these days, when I think about my life, which is EVERY DAY. I know of MSer’s worse off than me physically, but it doesn’t make me feel grateful for the abilities I have left, because they all have MONEY and SUPPORTIVE PARTNERS and travel and go out and about regularly, so I just end up feeling more sorry for myself. As I sit here on my ass and watch the world go by via TV, computers and iPod touch because I can’t get myself out there to be a part of it. I missed Serena Ryder because of my health. Melissa McClelland and Luke Doucet were here last week and I missed it because I can’t get myself to shows. The Polyjesters also played last week and even if I COULD get myself there, the venue was way upstairs with no elevator so I wouldn’t have been able to go. I could go on and on, and that’s just my love of live music. I’m having a hard time finding things to be grateful for everyday and I’ve been avoiding blogging because I hate complaining and it’s all I want to do these days!

I guess I should update y’all on the various things I’ve been trying and how they’re working for me:

• Xocai Chocolate: I still have my website as a distributor because I still get a cheque every few months when someone orders retail through there! But other than that, I am not involved. I don’t deny it has its benefits and all those antioxidants are great, but there are cheaper ways to get them. Considering the Canadian dollar and those insane prices are in US dollars, I couldn’t afford to keep buying it.
• StemTech: It’s been almost two months, and I feel no different. Granted I’m only taking the recommended-for-basic-health-maintenance of two per day, and in my condition I should probably be taking at least 4. I’m undecided if I’m going to increase my order and take more, or just stop altogether because of the cost. Still cheaper than going to China, but I’m not sure yet.
• Serrapeptase supplements: Again, I only took two/day and would probably need to take more to notice anything. I took them for a month and finished off the bottle a few weeks ago and don’t feel any different. I guess it comes down to the $$ again. If I knew taking 6/day would help I’d do it, but all this experimenting is costly.

Did I miss anything? I still love my Chi Machine, one of the best things I’ve ever bought ever, I can’t say enough about it. It seriously makes my days bearable. I also still take 50 mg of 5-HTP three times/day and do believe it helps keep me sane, as well. I don’t consider either of those a waste of money! Oh, and I’ve still got a ways to go before I get really proficient on this Frogpad. I would be better on it if I updated here, more! It’s a great little keyboard for us one-handed people.

I finally heard from the physio place I was referred to last month and will be heading there on Wednesday. I sure hope I get long-term physio out of them and even get strong enough and the help I need to go back to the Living Well with a Chronic Condition exercise classes. That would be awesome!

I have no photos. My brother borrowed my camera “for a few days” when his girlfriend arrived from Mexico on March 21 and I have yet to get it back. Also, her return flight was booked for April 19 and she is still here, so it’s safe to say things are going REALLY well. So here is an older photo taken with my MacBook during one of my Pita-is-all-over-me sessions.

Hi it’s me, your resident grasping-at-straws-willing-to-try-anything-human-guinea-pig. Someone left a comment in my blog the other day with a link to his MLM page to tell me about this stem cell product he sells. I deleted the comment because I don’t want my site used for people to sell their stuff; if I try something and like it, I’ll tell you about it myself! (5-HTP is awesome! Chi Machines are awesome!) I did check out his link briefly, but didn’t look any further.

The next day, my dad came over and told me about some scientific research he’d heard about and had started looking into online, reading some stuff and watching videos on You Tube. Something about something derived from AFA and something about stem cells from your bone marrow and some kind of supplement. I said “I bet it’s the same thing that guy commented about”. His deleted comment was over in my PC’s email deleted bin and I was on my MacBook, so I decided to just stay here and research for awhile.

The product is called StemEnhance by StemTech. The gist is “When you take two capsules of Stem Enhance, the ingredients help to support the release of stem cells from the bone marrow into the bloodstream. Through a natural process, those stem cells then travel to areas of the body where they are most needed.” I read everything I could find about it, positive and negative, including a Quackwatch type blog that portrayed it as a scam and left their comments open… where a ton of people taking the supplement jumped in and attacked the blogger. Their arguments were stronger and won me over, especially since the blog appears to be run by a bunch of med school students who will eventually become doctors who get paid to prescribe drugs, not supplements.

Anyway, I decided StemEnhance would be worth trying, and certainly cheaper than going to China. I found that guys’ deleted comment and link, and sure enough that was the product he was telling me about, so I ordered from him. I’m going to try it for at least a couple of months, and if I see any improvement you will certainly hear about it!

Speaking of more supplements I’m trying, I started taking this Serrapeptase supplement a few days ago. It’s being tried by a couple other MSers I know and is supposed to be a great anti-inflammatory. If you take the time to read that link, it does sound quite impressive. So far I can tell you I have less pain at night, in my hips and shoulder, so that is something. The past two nights I have only woken up 3-4 times (as opposed to 8-9) but I’m still too heavily medicated to be happy with that. I’m back on 2:00 a.m. sleeping pills so until I can get off those for GOOD I will not be happy. Still no marijuana to try; lots of “I can get you some” but none in my hands yet!

Eventually I will find the right mix of supplements that work for me and get off the addictive meds I’m on. I don’t need them to live so I’d like to find less chemical ways to relieve my problems, , and not destroy my body even more n the process.

Also, this makes up a lot of my credit card debt, so keep Suze Ormon away from me! She would SO deny me and I won’t let anyone deny me my chances to possibly live a better quality of life! I may live in a fantasy world, but in that world I will get out of debt one day.

The above was written yesterday. I am still super slow on this FrogPad. Since then, through a very fast Facebook hook-up and good timing, I’ve got myself a few “medicinal” brownies to try! Keep your fingers crossed that I sleep tonight.

Anyway, on to non-health related stuff. Like… The Bachelor. Of course I think what he did to Melissa sucks BALLS but I also know she is a grown woman and will get over it, in fact she’s already with someone else so there ya go. If Jason and Molly work out, it will be worth it. We all make mistakes, just not in front of 17 million people. If they break up within the year, then screw ‘em both. And now I’m sucked in for another season, because Jillian is my girl! Yay Alberta born Bachelorette, go get your man!

We are all cold and snowy here again so I’m stuck inside for at least a few more days. I didn’t go out for lunch the other day, my client-friend Ken brought it here instead. I still got my #50 Satay though, so it’s all good. On Wednesday Lisa came over with Starbucks and we chatted up a storm. Her daughter is going to be an Olympic gymnast one day, mark my words. Thursday was pretty much an all day home care day. Oh, I had my annual assessment and my nurse is really going to bat for me to try to get me a motorized wheelchair. She’s also writing the building owners about the cost of putting in automatic doors because it looks like a wheelchair accessible apartment won’t be available anytime soon, so I guess it is a cost the health region may cover if it’s not too high! I do know how old these buildings are, however, so I’m not getting my hopes up. The cost to re-wire for that kind of work in this complex is probably more than they’re willing to pay.

Last night I watched Seven Pounds. It was good, but for a movie with so much mystery surrounding it, was I supposed to know the entire story, and the exact ending, within the first three minutes? Because I did.

Today my mom, Bob and my brother were all here. They took care of me and did stuff as usual, and we ordered in Chinese food. They were also all here for my brownie delivery, so the questions and stories were flying. Poor guy didn’t stand a chance to get out of here in the 2 seconds I’m sure he’d timed it for. My family is more highly (no pun intended) versed in this area than I would have imagined.

Well, I am going to watch Desperate Housewives, eat my bedtime snack, and hope for a good night’s sleep. I’m tempted to eat one now to see if it helps the stiffness in my legs! But I’ll hold off on that for now. These are expensive brownies and sleep is my first concern!

This week I’m in taxes up to my ears, so I’ll see ya when I see ya!

Okay, so, Number One: according to some “leaks” surrounding the Bachelor I am waaaay off on my prediction. If the leakers are telling the truth, there is some pretty major stuff happening during the final episodes. Not the finale, but the “After The Rose” show. I hope what I’m hearing isn’t true, because I like happy endings and I honestly thought better of Jason. Especially being a single dad and all. I’m hoping the leaks were planted by ABC to get ratings but they sort of make sense… there’s even videos on You Tube about it. I started watching one but the guy bored the hell out of me and made me feel like if I actually cared enough to watch his videos then I have NO LIFE whatsoever.

Number Two: My laptop keyboard problems may be solved soon when I get a FrogPad. That looks a little confusing to learn, but I think it will be so much easier in the long run. I’ll be able to type even faster than I do on my regular desktop keyboard once I know what I am doing. I certainly can’t be any slower than I am on this laptop with keys I don’t know the meaning of.

Yesterday I opened my Photo Booth and got a black screen. I have no idea why and searching the troubleshooting forums didn’t help me. I can’t figure out anything on this damn machine! I need a Mac user friend to come over and spend some time with me, but he’s kinda busy these days. I need heeeeeelp!!! Today after a million restarts my camera works again. But I’d like to use it for more than just taking funny pictures. Oh, and I wasn’t able to transfer the songs from my PC’s iTunes to this one even though I gave it permission to, so when I synched my iPod I lost a bunch of songs. I thought your iTunes account was your iTunes account, and any music you have purchased would be accessible from YOUR ITUNES ACCOUNT. Now I don’t know what to do because some stuff is on here and some stuff is over there and you can only synch your iPod with one. You can’t just “add” a song to your iPod, you have to erase and re-synch everything. Grrrrr help!!!

My brother came over yesterday and we went to the mall. I was looking for one of those can holders you put in the fridge and every time you take a can out, another one rolls forward. Know what I mean?

Couldn’t find one. I’ve only ever seen them in the Regal catalogue, anyway. Maybe I can find one on eBay. I need it for all my cans of fruit spritzers I drink instead of pop. (Water can get a little boring).

I also went to get some blood tests the other day. It wasn’t nearly as painful as I’d thought it would be. My scooter fit in fine (the lab is in the mall tower), the staff ran a smooth operation (the crowded waiting room had me worried but it moved fast) and the nurse didn’t argue with me when I told her my ONE good vein is in my left hand above my 1st finger. In and out, very little pain. I’m hoping the results will let me know if my sleeping problems are partly caused by hormone imbalances or thyroid issues.

Anyway, my cats are feeling very neglected these days because this thing has taken over my lap. So I best go and put in some snuggling time.

So, I got me a MacBook. It is just lovely. BUT it is going to take awhile to get used to. The keys are really big and far apart, which for a one-handed typist like me is very difficult. I got pretty damn fast at my left-handed typing on my desktop; now my speed has slowed by about 350%. And this no-mouse thing? ARGH!! I know I can get a mouse, but there really isn’t anywhere to use it. This is truly a LAPtop. I’ll get used to it, and get better, but right now, I’m not so interested in writing.

So my girl Jillian went home on the Bachelor last night. That’s pretty much what I figured, and when they were making out all hot n’ heavy in the hot tub, I was thinking “his fiance (Melissa, probably) is watching this right now and is LIVID.” Hehe I think Jill is on Ellen tomorrow. Maybe she will be the next Bachelorette! I’m looking forward to the finale because apparently “what happened here was so emotional, we kept it as intimate as possible…” or whatever it is Chris said last night. This is what I think happened, and if I’m right, then I am officially psychic. I think the intimacy was needed because Jason flew in Melissa’s parents and because they don’t like the public aspect of the show, (which is why Jason never met them on the home visits) they kept it very intimate and Jason proposed with her parents there. That is my story and I’m sticking to it. Until 2 weeks from now if I’m wrong.

I just had a horrible experience tonight. I won’t go into it because it’s gross. I’ll just say this only happens to you if you’re a baby or a very old person living in a home, or you have a disease like MS. My home care worker is going to love me tomorrow.

I have to practice some copy/paste stuff. So I’m going to copy my “25 Things” note from Facebook that everyone is doing,

1. I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 1996 at the age of 28. It has been… erm… challenging, to say the least.

2. I went to New Zealand in 2001 and it is my most favourite place on earth (I have no other exotic or European places to compare it to, so…) It is my biggest dream to own a home like this one in Russell, Bay of Islands one day and be able to go to Rotorua regularly for mud baths.

3. I can’t remember the last time I was able to sleep for more than 2 hours in a row. I also don’t remember a time before I used sleeping pills to get that 2 hours. (And yes, I have tried or am trying whatever it is you are about to suggest, thanks anyway…) I’m finally going to see a sleep specialist but it’s going to take about a year to get in…

4. I had a rough time in high school, I hated it. I quit Scarlett half way through grade 11, then went to Wise Wood for a month or so before I quit, then went back to finish Grade 11, then I started Grade 12 and quit and moved to Toronto on my own for a few years. So I apologize if I don’t remember you from high school, I mostly remember the people I also went to elementary/junior high with.

5. One of the jobs I loved the most in my life was working on the production of a TV special for YTV in 1988 or 89 (about missing children). Alan Thicke was the host and I had to keep going to get him from his dressing room where he was watching his beloved LA Kings in the playoffs. I told him, “yeah, the Kings may win this round, but then they’ll be up against the Flames, and the Flames will beat them 4 games in a row, and then go on to win the cup…” and that is EXACTLY what happened.

6. I was once the “Answer” to a Q&A in TV Guide magazine. (I can’t remember the question, but I believe the answer was something like “we spoke with the Viewer Relations Coordinator at YTV and she told us…”).

7. The Polyjesters are the best band in the world, in my humble opinion.

8. I have so many friends who are amazing musicians and go out of their way to make sure I get their latest CDs and get to their shows. I’m really blessed that way!

9. I recently had to get rid of one of my home care workers because my cat HATED her. I’d never seen anything like it.

10. I have two cats, Pita and Pepper, and I loooooove them so much it hurts. They will be 3 years old in March.

11. I own every self-help, self-hypnosis, meditation, Louise Hay/Wayne Dyer/Law of Attraction book, CD and DVD around yet I still worry all the time and believe negative thoughts. I don’t know how to STOP and my friggin’ health can’t exactly improve if I don’t.

12. I smoked cigarettes, at least a pack a day, for 10 years and quit cold turkey on January 1, 1996. I haven’t had a single drag since then and I won’t, or I will start again for sure.

13. My favourite “Six degrees of separation”: When I lived in Toronto, I had a buddy named Nick McKinney. Nick’s brother is Mark McKinney from “The Kids in the Hall”. David Foley is a member of The Kids in the Hall. Dave once judged an episode of the improv comedy show “Thank God You’re Here!”. Angela Kinsey appeared on “Thank God You’re Here!” And Angela Kinsey is on THE OFFICE.

14. The Office is my favourite TV show.

15. I have loved Jim Carrey since I was 14 years old and he was about 19 or 20, through the good and the bad and even the very, very bad. I’ve never met him but somewhere around here I have a “Spank you very much” autographed photo.

16. I own stacks of books and CDs I’ve never even read or listened to and I will keep adding to it.

17. it doesn’t matter how many people are around, I am the one everyone asks for the time and “is this the train to…?”

18. I delete 99% of the email forwards sent to me without even looking at them. I used to look at them all in the early days of having an email address, 10+ years ago, but I still get a lot of the same ones. I can’t keep up and life is too short. So if I’m on your list and you don’t “get this back”, it does NOT mean you are no longer my friend or that I don’t care. I just… seriously… too many.

19. My biggest pet peeve is the sound of someone chewing. It grosses me out beyond belief. I have to mute TV commercials where people are chewing (Cheerios comes to mind) and GOOD LORD MAKE THE PEDIGREE DOG FOOD COMMERCIALS STOP. (I cant even find the ones I mean on You Tube so if you’re outside Alberta you may not know what I’m talking about). If I’m eating with you, it’s okay, because I hear my own chewing in my ears. But if you are chewing in front of me, I’m squirming inside and secretly want to stick a knife in your ear. LOVE YOU THOUGH!

20. I’m trying to figure out a way to make money that somehow involves my natural talents but doesn’t involve leaving my home or any physical activity that I can’t do. I once had a very small time business writing personalized poetry (by that I mean, I had a website and sold a few). I can’t sit here for long periods of time and my vision is wonky so accounting is getting harder. I just don’t know… AISH can’t support me and I’d really like to live outside the limits of the government’s fixed income.

21. These days, my days revolve around Home Care, self care, medical appointments, and just trying to make it through another day without needing an ambulance. I appreciate my friends and family getting me out and about more than I can say.

22. When my speech starts to slur I get freaked out because one of my natural talents is talking, and there is always the hope that one day my health will improve and I will be a public speaker who inspires others with her story. Or I’ll make a living talking, one way or another. If I lose the ability to speak I’m screwed.

23. I think I have about the best sense of humour around. I’m not saying I’m funny (although I think I can be), but I know what IS funny, that’s for damn sure. (Leave Jim Carrey out of this, okay?)

24. I think my worst habit is gossiping, or talking about other people. I mean no harm, I just “discuss”, but I wish I didn’t. I don’t, however, tell SECRETS and am very careful when you have said “don’t tell anyone, but…” I like to think I can be trusted. I’ve just got a LOT of opinions and am trying to get better at “live and let live, it’s their life” in my old age.

25. I wear Crocs. Deal with it.

You guys already know a lot of that stuff. Anyway, some of my comments touched on the idea that I should be a writer. In fact, two girls I went to Junior High school with thought I would be well on my way with that by now. I’ve always thought about it, so to be honest, that is what prompted me to get this laptop and get to work on a book or two. I have a couple ideas…

I don’t have any cat pics to upload on here yet. But I DID have a bit of fun earlier with Photo Booth. I was having a bad hair day anyway.