Can You Hear Me Now?

I’m falling behind on this thing again. I have a lot of time to update, but I’m still sosososo tired it’s difficult to function enough in order to do it. On a positive note (I hope), Mary is leaving on Wednesday. Now I just have to hope that my new roommate will be quiet and won’t need to be checked/changed several times/night, so I can SLEEP.

Nick and I have definitely become friends. I mean, he’s not an open kinda person so I may never find out everything I’d like to know about a friend, but he is definitely going to make my time here more bearable. Even though he probably loves Sarah Palin and has some pretty strong (opposing) views on things that are important to me, he doesn’t seem to push it on ANYONE so that’s cool. He lent me The Butterfly Effect DVD (I had never seen it! Man, that was freaky. I wasn’t sure I’d make it through, after that bit with his dog) and he has an awesome sense of humour. It turns out he has the exact same EMS/TENS machine as me! He had never even used it and doesn’t have anyone to help him with it, so I went into his room the other night to show him and get him set up. It was like the blind leading the blind! Between me only having use of one hand and him having limited use of his, not to mention it’s a small space and we’re both in big power wheelchairs, it was… difficult. We somehow managed to get both his arms/hands hooked up, but I’m not sure if it’s going to do much for him. No matter how high we turned it up, he couldn’t feel it in his arms. That’s not good. I don’t know anything about cerebral palsy and if EMS is safe, but I’m going to see a physiotherapist tomorrow and ask him.

That’s right, I’m staying in a place that has physio on staff, yet I’m going out to see another one. This one apparently has good knowledge of EMS/TENS and supports its use greatly, so that’s why I’m going. The physio here don’t have time to give me guidance if they even care about that, so I’m going to see someone who will. My dad will be with me and considering he hooks me up 90% of the time, it will be good for both of us.

My mom and Bob came by on Saturday, and I honestly can’t remember if anyone else did. Gah. On Sunday, however, my brother’s girlfriend came by early in the morning and gave me a SHOWER! It worked out great, because she dropped my brother off at work at 6:30 am (ugh) and then she came here and I was showered and ready to be dressed around the time the NAs would be coming by for my morning routine, anyway! She said she would come every Sunday to do that, so YAAAAAAY! Two showers/week and a hair wash from the salon another day, I can just squeak by with that. After I was dressed we went down to the cafeteria for coffee. I ate a tea biscuit but I also bought a muffin, because I thought I was so hungry, but that muffin is still in my drawer. Of course when I mentioned to Nick I have a muffin in my room, he repeated it back to me as a question. Which brought up the story that I’m on Twitter, and one of my friends once tweeted something about eating too much muffin, to which I replied “you can never eat too much muffin”, after which a bunch of lesbian groups started following me. He laughed, and laughed.

See, I could never have that conversation with anyone else here. Thank God there is someone here my age with a sense of humour. Tonight Chuck asked me at dinner if I ever ate a weiner. “I sure do like that,” he said. It’s a good thing he’s blind, because Nick and I were about to lose it. The other day over his breakfast sausages Chuck went on about his love for weiners. “They’re so easy, you don’t have to fiddle with them much”. Okay, STOP.

Back to Sunday. At lunch time, my friend Kim came by with her husband Rob, bringing with them not only a latte and some lunch, but a fancy cupcake from Babycakes!! So I can wipe that item off my 101 list. Kim and Rob were in town to host a sweet 16 birthday party for their daughter the night before. Lucky for me! I sure hope they can get into Calgary again soon, they’re awesome. I also forgot to give Kim her Christmas present, so she HAS to come back.

I have a cold. Lovely. All the lack of sleep has caught up with me, I’m so run down. Shoveling back Cold FX, and my dad came by today with the GOOD kleenex. And a cheap comforter for my bed, I finally decided I want to sleep with something besides their crappy blankets.

So I’m going to do that now, nighty night!

Today I’m attempting the “don’t speak for an entire day” from my 101 list. I figure I’d do that one early in case I don’t succeed… I will have every other Sunday to keep trying! I am Home Care free every second Sunday. I consider it my “day off”. I don’t have to get up for anyone or anything, I stay in jammies all day, I catch up on recorded TV shows from during the week that I didn’t get around to watching yet. Today I think I’ll rent “Bruno” because so many shows ran repeats because of US Thanksgiving. I watched “Funny People” last night. It was good, but not funny! If that’s what you’re expecting. Of course it has funny bits, but it’s about the lives of stand up comedians and that is rarely funny. If you’ve ever known any. The grumpiest, complainy, most depressing person I ever knew/sorta dated was a comedian.

I’m also doing my second “liquids only” day. No food, no talking. It’s like I’ve put myself in solitary confinement! Actually though, yesterday I went out for lunch with a friend and ate so much I was still stuffed when I went to bed. I also strayed from my Core Balance food plan by eating a whole wheat pancake with syrup, (wheat, sugar) so figured I’d follow that with a day of organic fruit juice to make up for it.

Speaking of food, or lack thereof, I did sign up for Meals on Wheels a few weeks ago. I lasted three days. It was hella disgusting! Wow. Their website says you can get “75-80% of your nutritional needs met” with their meals (lunch/dinner). I’d like to know what food group Jell-o falls into? I threw out more than I ate. All three dinners were gross… mashed potatoes from a box, soggy vegetables from a can, and some kind of processed chicken “meat”. Think of the worst food you’ve ever been served in a hospital and imagine it even worse. I can’t believe there are seniors and people out there that have no other choice but to eat this crap. I now buy some groceries for my mom and when she makes dinners, soups or chili she sets some aside in containers and freezes them for me. When she comes over on the weekend she brings food for my freezer and I’ll get her to make me a stack of sandwiches and hard boiled eggs for the week.

Ugh. Now I’m hungry for an almond butter sandwich on organic kamut bread. Heh. Mom’s in MEXICO right now, so I’m going to attempt to make my own hard boiled eggs today. I’m a little worried about the pot lifting, so I may wait until dad is here tomorrow. Hard boiled eggs is about the only way I will get protein in me for breakfast.

Hm. Well the above was written two weeks ago, I’m obviously not on the blog ball. I DID end up renting Bruno. I did NOT need to see that. Some parts were very funny and shocking in a *good* way (the parents? Willing to put their kids in any situation for fame?! The “gay therapist” guy?!) but most of it was shocking in a NOT so good way. A little too much there, Mr. Cohen.

I also didn’t stick with the “no talking”. I was doing so well and then I totally forgot about it when my phone rang at 8:30 and I answered it.

YAAAAAY I saw The Polyjesters on Friday night. They were performing for a Swing Dance Calgary event so everyone there was a swing dancer except me and Shawna. Talk about fun! They’re a young and energetic group of people who filled the dance floor like a scene out of the 1920’s. So naturally the PJ’s played all their old swing and jazzy covers rather than their usual set lists. Every show is different with them. And I LOVE to hear Jason scat, and sing like Louis Armstrong, and Sheldon is great at belting out Billie Holiday. I got to take my power chair out again and ride Handi-Bus with Shawna’s help. Thank God for Shawna. She helped me sooooooo much that night! It helps that she has been working in the field (around persons with disabilities) her entire career and is a Handi-Bus expert! We both need to call and complain about the driver we had for the ride home. What an ASS.

So, we have snow. And cold. It sucks to be here right now, lemme tell ya. Last weekend I didn’t get any Home Care because no one could GET to me, the roads were so bad and they didn’t even start plowing in my building’s parking lot until Monday. It’s really bad ths weekend, too, but my home care did make it eventually. Right now we are sitting at -27° C (-16.6° F). Brrr. We are getting a Chinook next week, thank you Mother Nature.

Last weekend I worked on my “10 happiest moments” list and I couldn’t narrow it down to just “moments” or just 10. I didn’t even have to think about it so I know if I actually thought about it, there would be so many more beyond the few years I hit on. Anywhere, here is the list I compiled, and where they happened during a time I had this blog I linked to it, so for a trip down memory lane and the days where I was mobile and able to travel and get myself out and about, click away. They are in no semblance of order.

1. Old Montreal with Rob, Lindy, Emma, Lobelia
2. Dinner with the Polyjesters backstage before a show, taking pics
3. The day AH asked me out
4. The day I arrived in Montreal and met Emma in person for the first time
5. The day I arrived in New Zealand and met Katrina in person!
6. Folk Alliance in Montreal
7. The day I bought my own condo
8. When the biggest crush of my teen years tweeted me back on Twitter
9. The day I got my kitties
10. Dinner with the Polyjesters, Kim and Rob in Medicine Hat… that whole night
11. The day Susan Jeffers called me
12. When Jim and Pam got married on The Office (kidding! Just seeing if you’re paying attention)
13. That trip to Toronto when everything worked out like a dream!
14. When Sheldon made that video for me on Facebook
15. I might as well just say any time I spend with Jason, Sheldon and The Polyjester family tops this list. Like the casino on my 40th birthday with The Trailer Park Boys and all that. Or their CD release party where they treated me like a Queen (again). I could do a Top 100 moments of my life starring The Polyjesters.
16. Personal concert in my living room from Peter Katz
17. When Rob was here the day after I finally arrived home from 2 months in hospitals after the Wrist Break/Gallbladder Gate ‘06
18. Rob Szabo and the gang taking me to South Country Music Fair for the weekend
19. When I was in charge of booking/promoting the improv comedy troupe at this bar, and I PACKED the place. With media, too.
20. Oh, flashback to 1990 when The Phantoms (band I worked for and saw a billion times in the late 80’s in Toronto) were in town and I had them over for dinner and made the best cheesecake on earth. Now I could go on and list 1,000 things about The Phantoms and my days in Toronto and seeing Duran Duran live in 1984 and ohhhhh shit, this I why I can’t think about it too much!

I guess the challenge IS to actually remember every single happy moment and narrow it down to a top 10. Maybe I’ll do that when I write my book! In the meantime, this has sufficiently depressed me which I don’t think it’s supposed to do. I guess I feel like the best times of my life are behind me and now I just have assisted living and memories of how much fun I used to have ahead of me. GAH I almost made it through an entire entry without feeling sorry for myself! Dammit. So close.

Pepper would like you to know she’s the one with the big black mark on her back left leg.

And Pita would like you to know she’s the one with the colour on her front right leg.

Okay, so, if you have MS or know someone close to you with MS, you have (maybe just recently, like me) heard about The Liberation Treatment and Dr. Zamboni. I heard about it for the first time on Friday when AH called me excitedly after hearing about it on the radio. Then there was that special on W5. I’m not going to go into great details about it here, you can click the links and see for yourself, but I AM going to urge you to call your closest MS Society chapter and neurologists and ask questions. Make a fuss. This is an amazing discovery which requires attention. Pharmaceutical companies and many organizations stand to lose a LOT of money over this, and it’s totally outside of the box of all other MS theories, so it’s going to take people like us to make noise. On Friday the MS Society wanted no part in this theory but after pressure from the phone calls on Monday after the news report aired, they changed their tune and have decided to grant funds for research. We must keep up the momentum!

I had a nice weekend. On Saturday my mom and Bob came by for their last visit before leaving on their vacation to Mexico tomorrow! My brother’s girlfriend also came by, and she helped me get to the mall so I could pick up a few things, including the shower curtain and handheld shower head for my neighbour. We weren’t able to get it over to her that day, but the rings were put in the curtain so it was ready for hanging. Cindy came by again the other day, and told me Home Care had come by to assess her and she was getting a bathtub bench, raised toilet seat, bars in the tub, pole beside her bed, a NEW wheelchair, and personal care assistance for showers and dressing. Awesome.

That night my dad picked me up and we went to my friend/client/Coach K’s 50th birthday bash. Lucky for me it was held at a restaurant and not his house so I could actually go! (His house has lots of stairs). I could only stay for a couple of hours (bedtime for me these days is between 9 and 10:00) but it was so good to see him and a few other friends of his I know. Coach K is, last I heard, 6′9″ (I’m pretty sure he was 6′6″ when I met him 10 years ago, but after 6′4″ everyone is shorter than you, so who’s gonna argue?) He just competed in and came in 5th at a national body building championship (so yeah, no one is going to argue with him about ANYTHING, except me, ’cause I’m his bookkeeper and make him pay his taxes no matter how much he whines). When he emailed me the photo of him posing on stage in a Speedo, I think I screamed, before I gave him shit. He’s like a brother to me… and no one wants to see their buffed, tanned brother in a Speedo.

On Sunday, my good friend and hero Rob Szabo came by with Ryan Hennessey, whom he is touring with right now. They had a show here that night but since getting out isn’t easy for me and bathrooms at these live music venues are rarely accessible (not to mention the bed time thing) I wasn’t able to go, so it was super appreciated that they made time for me. AND we went over to Cindy’s where they installed the stuff for her shower! I love me some Handymen. Slash musicians, the perfect blend. Cindy is not one to show emotion but I know she was grateful and thanked us. Good Karma Points earned by all. I had never met Ryan before, and he is a super great guy. Of course. Rob surrounds himself with pretty awesome people. He produced Ryan’s CD and gave me a copy… he also produced PETER KATZ’S UPCOMING CD THAT GLEN HANSARD SINGS ON . Not sure If I mentioned that before.

My 101 List is rolling along. I’ve been following the Core Balance diet (”food plan” - not a fan of the word DIET) for the past week, which among other things means no sugar (except in natural forms like fruits, grains). I’m doing good, although my craving for chocolate is starting to hit. Today is my first day of liquids only (one day a week over 6 weeks - not a Core Balance thing, just something I want to do). The other day I was walking up the hall and my pants fell off me, right down to my ankles. It was then I realized all the pants I wear I was wearing around the time of my 40th birthday a year and a half ago, and I have actually lost 50 pounds since then. It’s time to dig through my closet and find more pants. I would say it’s time to “buy new pants”, but I have certainly been this weight before in recent years (and lower… I gained a LOT of weight since breaking my wrist) so I’m pretty sure I’ve got better fitting pants around. But I sure do love my Silhouettes Yoga Pants so I think a trip to eBay is in order as well.

The pool is helping the weight loss too, I’m sure. Even though it’s only twice/week and I’m not doing much in there, I have worked up to 10 minutes and am even able to move my arm and leg a bit, to sorta jog in place or make scissor movements with my legs. It’s getting there! I’m still DEAD when I get out and can’t lift my right foot… and it takes a good 24 hours to recover… but I know it will get better. The staff have all said they can see a big difference from my first day, so that’s encouraging!

I need to clean off my memory card to get to all my cat pics. In the meantime though, I’m just glad to be updating! Pictures soon.

It’s November 15, and I did it! I finished my 101 list. And by finished, of course, I mean I finished compiling it. I have a long way to go to get ‘er done!

As mentioned in my last entry, I’m headed back to the pool. I have been going twice/week, and as much as I’d like to say it’s fabulous and everything is wonderful, it hasn’t been working out that way yet. I don’t know why I thought it would be just like old times. I know I use a wheelchair now, and I know I need assistance with every little thing, and I know stairs are not my friend, so I don’t know why I thought once I got to the pool it would be the same as it was 3-1/2years ago.

On the first day, we arrived at the pool and met my caregiver Lara who was there to help me in the change room. She’s great. We got me out to the pool, I headed straight for the stairs into the pool, grabbed the rail, and FROZE. I didn’t know what to do. Stairs? It was like I’d never seen them before. I waited for my dad and with his help we got me down the stairs slowwwwwwwly and into the water. At which point I started flailing aimlessly. I wasn’t able to walk in the water, stand in the water, tread water, move my right arm or leg AT ALL. I was in shock. What was going on? The staff saw me struggling and tossed a couple foam noodles my way which my dad wrapped around me. They didn’t help much, I was still expecting to do a little deep water workout moves and couldn’t understand why my body didn’t get it. What a difference a few years makes in the world of progressive MS. I think I flailed around for a total of 7 minutes before I was exhausted and knew I’d have to get out now if I expected to tackle those stairs up. It took THREE people to help me get up those (5? 6?) stairs, and I don’t know how long, to safely land back in my wheelchair.

It was rough and I came home feeling exhausted and completely defeated. And in utter shock! What a wake up call for my body to realize just what has happened to it! The second time I went, I knew what to expect so it wasn’t as shocking. Now I know to get a foam belt on me before I hit the water, and am able to do the stairs super slow with just my dad’s help. I still flail about in the water, but I try to do some leg movements and my dad will swing my arm around for me. I only stay in 8-10 minutes because the stairs and change room are difficult and tiring, too. I’m unable to lift my right foot at ALL by the time I get out to the car. I just have to believe, that in time, I will get better at it all.

I’m very grateful my dad is available to help me with this! It’s starting to feel exciting to be back in the water, not just terrifying. I can’t wait for the day I can do those stairs without such a struggle.

Another thing that should help me is that I’ve got a NMES machine on the way, should be here next week. We found one that looks pretty good for a great price. The kind I wanted costs $1,300, so, no. I hope the one I’m getting is just as good, for only $140. The specs are similar. Fingers crossed it works for me, and isn’t too complicated to use. I’m hoping using that every day will strengthen those muscles down my right side that don t get used.

I watched some of the Gemini Awards (Canada’s “Emmy”) which happened to take place here in Calgary last night. I just found out that Cory Monteith, who stars as Finn on “Glee., is from Calgary (he was there). I can’t believe I didn’t know that before! I love Glee. I do. I’m a bit of a Gleek. Even downloaded the soundtrack onto my iPod. Other new shows I’m into are Modern Family and Community. I love me some laughs.

Music Minute! My friend Peter Katz has a new CD coming out… soon, I’m not sure when exactly, but Glen Hansard sings on one of the tracks. Who is Glen Hansard, you ask? Why, none other than the lead singer of the Irish band The Frames and the guy who, along with Marketa Irglova, starred in Once and won the 2008 Academy Award for Best Original Song for “Falling Slowly” (and are now known as the duo The Swell Season). That’s all. I LOVE Glen Hansard and am soooooo thrilled for Peter that Glen is a fan of his work and agreed to be involved! Peter is headed for the big time. He’s so damn easy to love.

Also, my New Zealand buddy Phil Madsen released a new CD called Mr Yellow Tree that you can download on iTunes. I highly recommend checking it out! This is the guy I saw in a bar the night before I left New Zealand in 2001 (this time 8 years ago I was there! Wah!) and he (and his voice) left such an impact on me I still try to keep in touch with him and have been waiting for this CD ever since! He is one talented man.

Sweetie.

“Scratch mah belly”

The family (all of them - this now includes my mom, Bob my Stepdad, my Dad, my brother and his girlfriend) were all here a couple weeks ago for Thanksgiving dinner. They brought the food, of course, and the plan was to use my oven to cook and my kitchen to prepare and serve. Do these things ever work out as planned? My kitchen is not set up for food preparation because I’m not able to do it. Counter space is very limited because I need to keep the things I use the most in easy reach. There is no room for even two people to move around. The oven decided to conk out in the middle of everything. So the food ended up being served in scattered order, while we waited for the main dish to cook and microwaved what we could.

All in all, it worked out and we ate lots and there was pumpkin pie. I called the office about my oven, then two days later my dad used it (we are on a regular rotation of baking me kale chips -yum) and it worked fine. When maintenance came to look at it they found nothing wrong. And it’s been working fine ever since. Weird… but I’m happy I get my kale chips every time my dad comes over! I’ve got two huge bunches of organic kale in the fridge right now, waiting to be washed, chopped and baked. I never knew it was possible to love healthy greens so much. I highly recommend them.

I’m super, super, super excited to announce after years of hoping and wishing, I will be getting back into a swimming pool TOMORROW. Finally! I worked out a schedule with my dad to get me there and back twice/week and Home Care was able to find a caregiver that can meet me there and help me in the change room. I did go to that appointment with a physiotherapist on the 19th, but we decided their program is not right for me (and they don’t have access to an NMES machine). I’ve decided to do the pool on Mondays and Wednesdays, and apparently I can still see the P/T I was seeing a few months ago, so I’m gong to try to set up a standing Friday appointment with him. I can do only once/week there as long as I’m doing water exercises a couple other days. I’m hoping this will all help me lose weight/get stronger so I can get some independence back. I’ve lost so much recently.

My friend Shawna helped me get out yesterday with my power chair and we took a Handi-bus on a little excursion downtown! I haven’t been there in years, but it’s all a huge construction zone right now so I’m not really interested in going again for at least another year. My chair is a MUCH better ride on the Handi-bus. What a difference from my scooter. I didn’t scream or feel unsafe once! With it being colder and all, I’m not able to get myself out the door as I need help with my coat and stuff. Again, I’m hoping the pool will help my independence because not being able to come and go from my apartment without help puts a damper on my entire LIFE. I actually have a call in to a social worker to discuss my options for assisted living centres/retirement homes (that take youngsters like me). I’ve been checking out some places that have websites, and they sound a lot like Carewest Glenmore Park (see my “Wristomania” section for my adventures in that place) except obviously more private because you have your own living space. I do think I would have a better life in one of those places right now, but of course I’d rather get stronger, more independent, and stay where I am. Or move to a newer apartment with laminate floors, fresh counters, cupboards and appliances, and automatic doors! And an indoor pool, can’t forget that. I want, I want, I want.

I know something’s not right in my world when over in my “category” list my Health posts far outweigh my Music posts. Sigh.

I was starting to work on another 101 List but I’ve already completed a couple of them (taking an excursion downtown with my power chair, finding a way to get back in the pool). I may keep those on the list anyway and be able to start it by crossing off a couple of things. I’m not so sure about making another list though, or if I should just write a basic Bucket List. Or NO list. I only completed 54% of my last list, mostly due to not having the independence to get out there and get the stuff done, and hoping for big dreams like “walking to Walmart and back” again. Oh well, I guess it’s good to have big goals and dreams. I just feel like a failure when I don’t accomplish them. Like “lose the excess weight” has been a goal for… HOW many years, now? Since I was… 10? And not even fat? Sigh.

Oh speaking of walking, my least favourite slogan in life is the one being used by the Weekend to End Breast Cancer walks/events in Canada: “Breast cancer is hard. Walking isn’t”. I’m really flabbergasted that an organization like that would use such an insensitive slogan that is offensive to the thousands of people with diseases, injuries, arthritis, etc. who struggle to take just one step if they are able to at all. I recently found out I am not alone in this thinking, as a friend of mine made the website Walking Is Hard and even got some press coverage for it. Way to go Allie!

That was written yesterday. Then my dad showed up and we went for lunch and there was a ton of Monty Python anniversary stuff on TV so I never got to finish!

So TODAY I’m off to the pool. Very soon. I’ve got butterflies in my stomach I’m so excited.

I made another call this morning and finally registered with Meals on Wheels. Something I should have done ages ago, but kept putting it off because I’m a fairly picky eater (don’t like mushrooms, most seafood, little stuff like that which obviously they can’t cater to) and from what I heard from all the seniors at Carewest the food is “gross” and “boring”. So I registered for standard meal service (lunch and hot dinner) 3 days/week. If I HATE it I can stop it. But I think it will be better than the way I feed myself most of the time now, and it’s cheap, and I requested the gluten free diet which will cut out the baked goods/desserts and be gentle on my system which acts up once in awhile from wheat-y stuff. She also said they’d cut up my food for me when I mentioned I only have use of one hand! I won’t get local/organic foods out of them but I have to take what I can get, right? I can still place my orders with Spud for snacks and replace MoW apples with my organic ones.

I’m still on Twitter, but I keep changing who I follow. I discovered, *newsflash*, that a lot of beautiful/famous people are boring as hell and can’t spell, and all the “your” instead of “you’re” gets on my nerves after awhile, (and no, it’s not that they’re trying to keep it under 140 characters) so I stopped following a bunch. Including the guy I mentioned a few entries ago. I still follow every writer from The Office I can find. Oh, and Christina Applegate is NOT one of the stupid beautiful people. LOVE her. I unfollowed people I also have on Facebook who use software to update both statuses at the same time, too many repeats. Except Rob Szabo and Peter Katz, I don’t have the heart to unfollow them. I try to keep my following list around 100 but there are so many updates it’s hard to keep up. And if Louise Hay tweets something meaningful it gets lost in a sea of funny stuff and doesn’t really register. Sometimes I do wish I had stuck to my “I WILL NEVER TWITTER!” declaration.

But I also like seeing “I’ll be on Leno (Letterman, Kimmel, Conan, Fallon, Ferguson, name your talk show) tonight” so I know what to set my PVR for!

Today was quite the productive day. I made it over to the mall (it’s beautiful outside today) and not only did I get to Walmart for cat food and oh-look-it’s-Easter-and-yummy-addictive-Robin’s-eggs-are-out, but I got to the bank and set up a new RRSP plan, AND I got passport photos done. They are FABULOUS! These are the pictures that will proudly be displayed on my “Most Wanted” poster.

Gangsta. So I am one step closer to accepting that dinner invitation to Rome. And for THAT I will wear make up. As a friend of mine said, when you’re on vacation and start to look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home!

By setting up another RRSP account I completed another thing on my 101 list. Yes, I do still look that over to find things I will be able to accomplish, but I also know there is no way in hell I’ll get even close to completing it. I will make a new, more realistic list, when this one expires. Maybe.

I also got myself some cream cheese and Triscuits, so I can go about enjoying the habanero jams I ordered from Crooked Acres. Robyn sent along some cat toys for Pita and Pepper that are stuffed with catnip, so I got to spend the evening laughing hysterically watching them play. Pita excited herself so much, she threw up. I swear I’m making a video of the kitties playing, and that will be in it. (The catnip toys, not the puking).

And the jam… ohhhh boy! Hot stuff. I think it may cure anything.

My brother is here right now and I am virtually ignoring him.

The next couple of days are busy for me, I actually have things to do, places to go! Tomorrow a client is taking me out for lunch to My Favourite Vietnamese Restaurant, and then my Home Care nurse is coming over for my annual Big Assessment. Then on Wednesday I’m having lunch with a friend from school, my friend Lisa; a different friend Lisa than I usually mention! (That Lisa, by the way, is planning her July wedding to Russ, my blog host!) Somewhere in there I need to get a whole lot of work done. Sigh. So much for the attempt at frequent blog updates.

Oh! The Bachelor finale starts in a few minutes. By the time you read this we will know if the rumour he proposes to Melissa and then dumps her for Molly during the “After the Final Rose” show is true. Gotta go!

Okay, so, over withdrawal or not, I’ve started doing the Quantum Wellness cleanse of no gluten, sugar, caffeine, alcohol or animal products of any kind for up to 21 days. I’m on Day Two. So far, so good! I’m not looking forward to the sugar withdrawals. The only sweetener allowed is agave nectar or Stevia (and fruit is allowed), so not even pure maple syrup. I found an awesome vegan/gluten free/sugar free protein powder with zero carbs that fills me up like you wouldn’t believe, so that’s good! After I’m done the cleanse I plan to stick to being a (mostly) vegetarian and even a quasi-vegan. I’m not so sure I can 100% give up cheese and ice cream…

I was thinking recently, that I haven’t written about AH in awhile! That’s because he’s in Lebanon, and the last time I talked to him was shortly before he left, on my (our) birthday. We never did go out for our annual birthday dinner, and when (if?) he returns from Lebanon (it’s supposed to be in a couple weeks) he may not even go back to working for Access. Since him picking me up for my Access trips is about the only way I’ve seen him in months, who knows if we’ll even cross paths again. I think our friendship may have run its course, anyway. It’s difficult to be friends with a married man in a bad marriage, especially when you know he will never introduce you to his wife because she’s crazy jealous, and especially after you have discovered all these things about him and his caveman attitudes over the years, that you don’t like so much. Maybe the reason he came into my life was not actually for me, but for my friend Shawna; so she could meet Billy and live happily ever after. (So far so good, she moved here last week!)

Yes, my friend Shawna moved to Calgary from Winnipeg. I am so happy she’s here!! She’s living close by, and she wants to do some of the same stuff I want to do but need help in order to do it, and I know she will help me and be an amazing support. Like go to the pool… OMG it will be so nice to get back in the water!!!

I think I’m almost over my withdrawal, I haven’t cried for *no reason* since… Thursday, I think? Nothing else has improved though, like the physical stuff, so hopefully this cleanse will help. The whole purpose of this cleanse is to “eliminate sources of toxins and allergens, giving the digestive system a break from working overtime to process the substances that inhibit optimum performance the most” so your body can concentrate on other stuff, like healing itself. And my body has a LOT of healing to do! I hope I last the full 21 days, but even the author says “Stay on this program for as many days as you can, up to 21 days, as your ambition, willingness, and ability allow. Just do the best you can and don’t worry about perfection. The first time around, you may go just a day or two. That’s fine. Just give it a try. Take one day at a time. Don’t look too far ahead. Who knows? You may surprise yourself when you find yourself on day 14!” I just know I need to stay away from (plain) potato chips because they ARE allowed, but I’ll eat them non-stop if I get into that mindset. That’s what I did when I tried the no wheat/dairy/sugar thing for a couple months awhile back. I didn’t lose any weight because I practically lived off potato chips!! It’s funny to me that people envision vegetarians and vegans as slim and healthy… when in reality, if you have issues with food addiction and your weight etc., you WILL find things you can eat that will still pack the pounds on. That’s why I need to get back to Weight Watchers soon, too.

Anyway, enough about that. I’m not going to fill this blog up with talk about the cleanse and Weight Watchers! There are many other blogs about that.

Let’s see, what else is new… not much. I went to Calgary Housing on Friday to sign forms regarding the renewal of my rent subsidy, and I’ll be getting a bit more now, which is good because my rent went up in January. I’m a little worried that the agreement ends on March 31 “because we’ve only been guaranteed funding until then”. Come ON!! This province has SO MUCH MONEY (we are the only province I think, that totally benefits from the rising price of fuel and oil) and we have a budget surplus in the multi-BILLIONS. I think the government can afford to help out those of us who do NOT work in the oil and gas industry of this city, who are pretty much on a fixed disability income while costs continue to rise around us… sigh. I really hope my health improves over the next year so I can work more, I hate relying on the government to pay my rent!!

Oh, speaking of money, I’ve almost paid off my Bay card (that should be finished by early August) which will cross another thing off my 101 list. Remember that? Yeah, I wasn’t thinking straight when I put that list together. How, exactly, am I supposed to reach my financial goals of getting out of credit card debt, while buying myself all the stuff on that list and taking all those trips?? It cannot be done on what I make/get. Crazyperson. For the first time in years I’m not planning a fall trip to Toronto or Montreal I really need to concentrate on paying off the ones I’ve already taken hehe

I love my Alien Kitty.

And the totally Not Alien one.

Oh my God, I am so mean. I just changed a couple of photos that stupid people were hotlinking to from my blog, to this scary naked dude. One of the sites was using a photo I have here as the entire background to the Welcome page of their Chat room. And now everyone will be welcomed by Ugly Naked Guy. I CRACK MYSELF UP.

By the way, Ugly Naked Guy is a man that contacted me on Facebook once (and then I blocked him), and when I looked at his profile, there was only a photo album with 2 naked pictures of him. I laughed so hard I decided to save them to use just for this purpose. He is simply naked, standing over his underwear drawer, sorting tighty whiteys. And he is quite unattractive. If you want to see the picture, you’ll have to email me and ask for it, ’cause I’m not posting it here! Or you can hotlink one of my photos and wait for me to catch you and change it. Hehe. But please don’t.

My mom was here over the weekend. I barely recognize my apartment!! The clutter in the living room, dining room and kitchen is gone. The filing in my office is done. She did SO much to help me sort through crap I’ve been meaning to sort through for ages. But I put it off because it is easier with two hands and some of it involved standing for long periods of time. Last weekend my Stepdad put together my new CD stand, and finally, it is full. And the top of my hutch in the living room is not littered with stray CD and DVD cases and discs. YAY! It looks nice in here again, I actually want to live here.

Oh, update from last entry, my new friend is Sander, not Saunder. He requested me on Facebook so now I know for sure. He also has an 80mb audio file of the Polyjesters‘ show last Saturday which he’s letting me download as I type this. YAY I like new friends.

I am just crushed that Jeff Healey passed away. I only ever met him a couple times myself, briefly, but some good friends of mine have worked really closely with him over the years. So it was very sad news.

Back in December I ordered some tote bags off Make It Right. I finally received them today, exactly 3 months after I ordered them! At the time I ordered them, they didn’t have all the notices they have up now, about how the bags are hand made from the pink material used to showcase where the houses would be going (OMG maybe Brad Pitt touched them!!), and wouldn’t be available until after January 15, and that they’re not in mass production, etc. etc. I had no clue and actually ordered a couple for Christmas gifts!! Then they changed the site. So, Lisa, I have a pink bag for you. Happy belated birthday, even! And Kim, I know pink’s not your colour, but it’s for a good cause, and they don’t come in any other colour. Carry it proudly.

Today was our Provincial Election. I was out all day, as my appointments at the Clinic for Mind/Body Medicine take all day because of the way Access Calgary schedules things. So my day consisted of sitting in a car, sitting at my appointment, and sitting in a car. Long day. I was pretty beat by the time I got home (sitting in a car for well over an hour each way is draining! Especially when the driver is singing songs in Punjabi the entire time) but I still mustered up the energy to get my scooter out and go to the school a few blocks away and vote. My neighbour Richard was working at my polling station, handling all the voters from my apartment complex - about 750 people. He said I was only the 35th he’d seen ALL DAY. That means probably 700 people in my complex didn’t even bother voting! Ugh. Oh well, can’t blame them really, it seems this province will never change parties*, so why bother. PC stands for Political Corporation, not Progressive Conservative, as far as I’m concerned! Hee. Political Corporation. I just thought of that. Did I make it up? Political Corruption. Political Caca. Whatever. Can we get a Hillary over here?

*I’m writing this a couple hours before the election is over, so we don’t actually know yet, but based on the past 37 years it’s an educated guess.

Whoever wins, I hope they do something about AISH (Assured Income for the Severely Handicapped). I still don’t have my benefits for March, which were supposed to be deposited last Tuesday. When I called about it, I was told they couldn’t release my funds because I hadn’t “filed my annual report”. Well, I never received an annual report to file! “Oh, well, my clients are responsible for knowing their Diary Date and getting their reports in on time, I don’t call them if they are late”. Well, in the past 10 years, there was only one other time I didn’t receive the report, and I was called about it, sent another one, and filed it. Every other year, I just file it when I get it. I wasn’t even aware I had a “Diary Date”. And thanks for changing your rules without letting me know. So, she faxed me a report and I filled it out and mailed it (they won’t accept a fax back because they need your original signature). I was able to fax over attachments, however, such as my tax assessment and bank statements. So I did that. And this morning she wakes me up by calling with a million questions, and “fax me this, fax me that” because she doesn’t understand what self-employment means, and I’ve only been doing this for 10 FUCKING YEARS, BITCH! I am NOT ripping you off, but how in the hell do you expect someone to live off $1,050 AISH benefit when their rent is $1,000 and they’re not allowed to earn more than $400 a month before they are deducted benefits. So EXCUSE ME if I collect more than $400 a month, I have write-offs because I am self-employed, it is one of the great benefits of BEING self-employed on the AISH program. And I’ve been doing this for 10 FUCKING YEARS, so why don’t you just ask your boss and stop bugging me. Sigh.