Can You Hear Me Now?

It’s November 15, and I did it! I finished my 101 list. And by finished, of course, I mean I finished compiling it. I have a long way to go to get ‘er done!

As mentioned in my last entry, I’m headed back to the pool. I have been going twice/week, and as much as I’d like to say it’s fabulous and everything is wonderful, it hasn’t been working out that way yet. I don’t know why I thought it would be just like old times. I know I use a wheelchair now, and I know I need assistance with every little thing, and I know stairs are not my friend, so I don’t know why I thought once I got to the pool it would be the same as it was 3-1/2years ago.

On the first day, we arrived at the pool and met my caregiver Lara who was there to help me in the change room. She’s great. We got me out to the pool, I headed straight for the stairs into the pool, grabbed the rail, and FROZE. I didn’t know what to do. Stairs? It was like I’d never seen them before. I waited for my dad and with his help we got me down the stairs slowwwwwwwly and into the water. At which point I started flailing aimlessly. I wasn’t able to walk in the water, stand in the water, tread water, move my right arm or leg AT ALL. I was in shock. What was going on? The staff saw me struggling and tossed a couple foam noodles my way which my dad wrapped around me. They didn’t help much, I was still expecting to do a little deep water workout moves and couldn’t understand why my body didn’t get it. What a difference a few years makes in the world of progressive MS. I think I flailed around for a total of 7 minutes before I was exhausted and knew I’d have to get out now if I expected to tackle those stairs up. It took THREE people to help me get up those (5? 6?) stairs, and I don’t know how long, to safely land back in my wheelchair.

It was rough and I came home feeling exhausted and completely defeated. And in utter shock! What a wake up call for my body to realize just what has happened to it! The second time I went, I knew what to expect so it wasn’t as shocking. Now I know to get a foam belt on me before I hit the water, and am able to do the stairs super slow with just my dad’s help. I still flail about in the water, but I try to do some leg movements and my dad will swing my arm around for me. I only stay in 8-10 minutes because the stairs and change room are difficult and tiring, too. I’m unable to lift my right foot at ALL by the time I get out to the car. I just have to believe, that in time, I will get better at it all.

I’m very grateful my dad is available to help me with this! It’s starting to feel exciting to be back in the water, not just terrifying. I can’t wait for the day I can do those stairs without such a struggle.

Another thing that should help me is that I’ve got a NMES machine on the way, should be here next week. We found one that looks pretty good for a great price. The kind I wanted costs $1,300, so, no. I hope the one I’m getting is just as good, for only $140. The specs are similar. Fingers crossed it works for me, and isn’t too complicated to use. I’m hoping using that every day will strengthen those muscles down my right side that don t get used.

I watched some of the Gemini Awards (Canada’s “Emmy”) which happened to take place here in Calgary last night. I just found out that Cory Monteith, who stars as Finn on “Glee., is from Calgary (he was there). I can’t believe I didn’t know that before! I love Glee. I do. I’m a bit of a Gleek. Even downloaded the soundtrack onto my iPod. Other new shows I’m into are Modern Family and Community. I love me some laughs.

Music Minute! My friend Peter Katz has a new CD coming out… soon, I’m not sure when exactly, but Glen Hansard sings on one of the tracks. Who is Glen Hansard, you ask? Why, none other than the lead singer of the Irish band The Frames and the guy who, along with Marketa Irglova, starred in Once and won the 2008 Academy Award for Best Original Song for “Falling Slowly” (and are now known as the duo The Swell Season). That’s all. I LOVE Glen Hansard and am soooooo thrilled for Peter that Glen is a fan of his work and agreed to be involved! Peter is headed for the big time. He’s so damn easy to love.

Also, my New Zealand buddy Phil Madsen released a new CD called Mr Yellow Tree that you can download on iTunes. I highly recommend checking it out! This is the guy I saw in a bar the night before I left New Zealand in 2001 (this time 8 years ago I was there! Wah!) and he (and his voice) left such an impact on me I still try to keep in touch with him and have been waiting for this CD ever since! He is one talented man.

Sweetie.

“Scratch mah belly”

The family (all of them - this now includes my mom, Bob my Stepdad, my Dad, my brother and his girlfriend) were all here a couple weeks ago for Thanksgiving dinner. They brought the food, of course, and the plan was to use my oven to cook and my kitchen to prepare and serve. Do these things ever work out as planned? My kitchen is not set up for food preparation because I’m not able to do it. Counter space is very limited because I need to keep the things I use the most in easy reach. There is no room for even two people to move around. The oven decided to conk out in the middle of everything. So the food ended up being served in scattered order, while we waited for the main dish to cook and microwaved what we could.

All in all, it worked out and we ate lots and there was pumpkin pie. I called the office about my oven, then two days later my dad used it (we are on a regular rotation of baking me kale chips -yum) and it worked fine. When maintenance came to look at it they found nothing wrong. And it’s been working fine ever since. Weird… but I’m happy I get my kale chips every time my dad comes over! I’ve got two huge bunches of organic kale in the fridge right now, waiting to be washed, chopped and baked. I never knew it was possible to love healthy greens so much. I highly recommend them.

I’m super, super, super excited to announce after years of hoping and wishing, I will be getting back into a swimming pool TOMORROW. Finally! I worked out a schedule with my dad to get me there and back twice/week and Home Care was able to find a caregiver that can meet me there and help me in the change room. I did go to that appointment with a physiotherapist on the 19th, but we decided their program is not right for me (and they don’t have access to an NMES machine). I’ve decided to do the pool on Mondays and Wednesdays, and apparently I can still see the P/T I was seeing a few months ago, so I’m gong to try to set up a standing Friday appointment with him. I can do only once/week there as long as I’m doing water exercises a couple other days. I’m hoping this will all help me lose weight/get stronger so I can get some independence back. I’ve lost so much recently.

My friend Shawna helped me get out yesterday with my power chair and we took a Handi-bus on a little excursion downtown! I haven’t been there in years, but it’s all a huge construction zone right now so I’m not really interested in going again for at least another year. My chair is a MUCH better ride on the Handi-bus. What a difference from my scooter. I didn’t scream or feel unsafe once! With it being colder and all, I’m not able to get myself out the door as I need help with my coat and stuff. Again, I’m hoping the pool will help my independence because not being able to come and go from my apartment without help puts a damper on my entire LIFE. I actually have a call in to a social worker to discuss my options for assisted living centres/retirement homes (that take youngsters like me). I’ve been checking out some places that have websites, and they sound a lot like Carewest Glenmore Park (see my “Wristomania” section for my adventures in that place) except obviously more private because you have your own living space. I do think I would have a better life in one of those places right now, but of course I’d rather get stronger, more independent, and stay where I am. Or move to a newer apartment with laminate floors, fresh counters, cupboards and appliances, and automatic doors! And an indoor pool, can’t forget that. I want, I want, I want.

I know something’s not right in my world when over in my “category” list my Health posts far outweigh my Music posts. Sigh.

I was starting to work on another 101 List but I’ve already completed a couple of them (taking an excursion downtown with my power chair, finding a way to get back in the pool). I may keep those on the list anyway and be able to start it by crossing off a couple of things. I’m not so sure about making another list though, or if I should just write a basic Bucket List. Or NO list. I only completed 54% of my last list, mostly due to not having the independence to get out there and get the stuff done, and hoping for big dreams like “walking to Walmart and back” again. Oh well, I guess it’s good to have big goals and dreams. I just feel like a failure when I don’t accomplish them. Like “lose the excess weight” has been a goal for… HOW many years, now? Since I was… 10? And not even fat? Sigh.

Oh speaking of walking, my least favourite slogan in life is the one being used by the Weekend to End Breast Cancer walks/events in Canada: “Breast cancer is hard. Walking isn’t”. I’m really flabbergasted that an organization like that would use such an insensitive slogan that is offensive to the thousands of people with diseases, injuries, arthritis, etc. who struggle to take just one step if they are able to at all. I recently found out I am not alone in this thinking, as a friend of mine made the website Walking Is Hard and even got some press coverage for it. Way to go Allie!

That was written yesterday. Then my dad showed up and we went for lunch and there was a ton of Monty Python anniversary stuff on TV so I never got to finish!

So TODAY I’m off to the pool. Very soon. I’ve got butterflies in my stomach I’m so excited.

I made another call this morning and finally registered with Meals on Wheels. Something I should have done ages ago, but kept putting it off because I’m a fairly picky eater (don’t like mushrooms, most seafood, little stuff like that which obviously they can’t cater to) and from what I heard from all the seniors at Carewest the food is “gross” and “boring”. So I registered for standard meal service (lunch and hot dinner) 3 days/week. If I HATE it I can stop it. But I think it will be better than the way I feed myself most of the time now, and it’s cheap, and I requested the gluten free diet which will cut out the baked goods/desserts and be gentle on my system which acts up once in awhile from wheat-y stuff. She also said they’d cut up my food for me when I mentioned I only have use of one hand! I won’t get local/organic foods out of them but I have to take what I can get, right? I can still place my orders with Spud for snacks and replace MoW apples with my organic ones.

I’m still on Twitter, but I keep changing who I follow. I discovered, *newsflash*, that a lot of beautiful/famous people are boring as hell and can’t spell, and all the “your” instead of “you’re” gets on my nerves after awhile, (and no, it’s not that they’re trying to keep it under 140 characters) so I stopped following a bunch. Including the guy I mentioned a few entries ago. I still follow every writer from The Office I can find. Oh, and Christina Applegate is NOT one of the stupid beautiful people. LOVE her. I unfollowed people I also have on Facebook who use software to update both statuses at the same time, too many repeats. Except Rob Szabo and Peter Katz, I don’t have the heart to unfollow them. I try to keep my following list around 100 but there are so many updates it’s hard to keep up. And if Louise Hay tweets something meaningful it gets lost in a sea of funny stuff and doesn’t really register. Sometimes I do wish I had stuck to my “I WILL NEVER TWITTER!” declaration.

But I also like seeing “I’ll be on Leno (Letterman, Kimmel, Conan, Fallon, Ferguson, name your talk show) tonight” so I know what to set my PVR for!

Today was quite the productive day. I made it over to the mall (it’s beautiful outside today) and not only did I get to Walmart for cat food and oh-look-it’s-Easter-and-yummy-addictive-Robin’s-eggs-are-out, but I got to the bank and set up a new RRSP plan, AND I got passport photos done. They are FABULOUS! These are the pictures that will proudly be displayed on my “Most Wanted” poster.

Gangsta. So I am one step closer to accepting that dinner invitation to Rome. And for THAT I will wear make up. As a friend of mine said, when you’re on vacation and start to look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home!

By setting up another RRSP account I completed another thing on my 101 list. Yes, I do still look that over to find things I will be able to accomplish, but I also know there is no way in hell I’ll get even close to completing it. I will make a new, more realistic list, when this one expires. Maybe.

I also got myself some cream cheese and Triscuits, so I can go about enjoying the habanero jams I ordered from Crooked Acres. Robyn sent along some cat toys for Pita and Pepper that are stuffed with catnip, so I got to spend the evening laughing hysterically watching them play. Pita excited herself so much, she threw up. I swear I’m making a video of the kitties playing, and that will be in it. (The catnip toys, not the puking).

And the jam… ohhhh boy! Hot stuff. I think it may cure anything.

My brother is here right now and I am virtually ignoring him.

The next couple of days are busy for me, I actually have things to do, places to go! Tomorrow a client is taking me out for lunch to My Favourite Vietnamese Restaurant, and then my Home Care nurse is coming over for my annual Big Assessment. Then on Wednesday I’m having lunch with a friend from school, my friend Lisa; a different friend Lisa than I usually mention! (That Lisa, by the way, is planning her July wedding to Russ, my blog host!) Somewhere in there I need to get a whole lot of work done. Sigh. So much for the attempt at frequent blog updates.

Oh! The Bachelor finale starts in a few minutes. By the time you read this we will know if the rumour he proposes to Melissa and then dumps her for Molly during the “After the Final Rose” show is true. Gotta go!

Okay, so, over withdrawal or not, I’ve started doing the Quantum Wellness cleanse of no gluten, sugar, caffeine, alcohol or animal products of any kind for up to 21 days. I’m on Day Two. So far, so good! I’m not looking forward to the sugar withdrawals. The only sweetener allowed is agave nectar or Stevia (and fruit is allowed), so not even pure maple syrup. I found an awesome vegan/gluten free/sugar free protein powder with zero carbs that fills me up like you wouldn’t believe, so that’s good! After I’m done the cleanse I plan to stick to being a (mostly) vegetarian and even a quasi-vegan. I’m not so sure I can 100% give up cheese and ice cream…

I was thinking recently, that I haven’t written about AH in awhile! That’s because he’s in Lebanon, and the last time I talked to him was shortly before he left, on my (our) birthday. We never did go out for our annual birthday dinner, and when (if?) he returns from Lebanon (it’s supposed to be in a couple weeks) he may not even go back to working for Access. Since him picking me up for my Access trips is about the only way I’ve seen him in months, who knows if we’ll even cross paths again. I think our friendship may have run its course, anyway. It’s difficult to be friends with a married man in a bad marriage, especially when you know he will never introduce you to his wife because she’s crazy jealous, and especially after you have discovered all these things about him and his caveman attitudes over the years, that you don’t like so much. Maybe the reason he came into my life was not actually for me, but for my friend Shawna; so she could meet Billy and live happily ever after. (So far so good, she moved here last week!)

Yes, my friend Shawna moved to Calgary from Winnipeg. I am so happy she’s here!! She’s living close by, and she wants to do some of the same stuff I want to do but need help in order to do it, and I know she will help me and be an amazing support. Like go to the pool… OMG it will be so nice to get back in the water!!!

I think I’m almost over my withdrawal, I haven’t cried for *no reason* since… Thursday, I think? Nothing else has improved though, like the physical stuff, so hopefully this cleanse will help. The whole purpose of this cleanse is to “eliminate sources of toxins and allergens, giving the digestive system a break from working overtime to process the substances that inhibit optimum performance the most” so your body can concentrate on other stuff, like healing itself. And my body has a LOT of healing to do! I hope I last the full 21 days, but even the author says “Stay on this program for as many days as you can, up to 21 days, as your ambition, willingness, and ability allow. Just do the best you can and don’t worry about perfection. The first time around, you may go just a day or two. That’s fine. Just give it a try. Take one day at a time. Don’t look too far ahead. Who knows? You may surprise yourself when you find yourself on day 14!” I just know I need to stay away from (plain) potato chips because they ARE allowed, but I’ll eat them non-stop if I get into that mindset. That’s what I did when I tried the no wheat/dairy/sugar thing for a couple months awhile back. I didn’t lose any weight because I practically lived off potato chips!! It’s funny to me that people envision vegetarians and vegans as slim and healthy… when in reality, if you have issues with food addiction and your weight etc., you WILL find things you can eat that will still pack the pounds on. That’s why I need to get back to Weight Watchers soon, too.

Anyway, enough about that. I’m not going to fill this blog up with talk about the cleanse and Weight Watchers! There are many other blogs about that.

Let’s see, what else is new… not much. I went to Calgary Housing on Friday to sign forms regarding the renewal of my rent subsidy, and I’ll be getting a bit more now, which is good because my rent went up in January. I’m a little worried that the agreement ends on March 31 “because we’ve only been guaranteed funding until then”. Come ON!! This province has SO MUCH MONEY (we are the only province I think, that totally benefits from the rising price of fuel and oil) and we have a budget surplus in the multi-BILLIONS. I think the government can afford to help out those of us who do NOT work in the oil and gas industry of this city, who are pretty much on a fixed disability income while costs continue to rise around us… sigh. I really hope my health improves over the next year so I can work more, I hate relying on the government to pay my rent!!

Oh, speaking of money, I’ve almost paid off my Bay card (that should be finished by early August) which will cross another thing off my 101 list. Remember that? Yeah, I wasn’t thinking straight when I put that list together. How, exactly, am I supposed to reach my financial goals of getting out of credit card debt, while buying myself all the stuff on that list and taking all those trips?? It cannot be done on what I make/get. Crazyperson. For the first time in years I’m not planning a fall trip to Toronto or Montreal I really need to concentrate on paying off the ones I’ve already taken hehe

I love my Alien Kitty.

And the totally Not Alien one.

Oh my God, I am so mean. I just changed a couple of photos that stupid people were hotlinking to from my blog, to this scary naked dude. One of the sites was using a photo I have here as the entire background to the Welcome page of their Chat room. And now everyone will be welcomed by Ugly Naked Guy. I CRACK MYSELF UP.

By the way, Ugly Naked Guy is a man that contacted me on Facebook once (and then I blocked him), and when I looked at his profile, there was only a photo album with 2 naked pictures of him. I laughed so hard I decided to save them to use just for this purpose. He is simply naked, standing over his underwear drawer, sorting tighty whiteys. And he is quite unattractive. If you want to see the picture, you’ll have to email me and ask for it, ’cause I’m not posting it here! Or you can hotlink one of my photos and wait for me to catch you and change it. Hehe. But please don’t.

My mom was here over the weekend. I barely recognize my apartment!! The clutter in the living room, dining room and kitchen is gone. The filing in my office is done. She did SO much to help me sort through crap I’ve been meaning to sort through for ages. But I put it off because it is easier with two hands and some of it involved standing for long periods of time. Last weekend my Stepdad put together my new CD stand, and finally, it is full. And the top of my hutch in the living room is not littered with stray CD and DVD cases and discs. YAY! It looks nice in here again, I actually want to live here.

Oh, update from last entry, my new friend is Sander, not Saunder. He requested me on Facebook so now I know for sure. He also has an 80mb audio file of the Polyjesters‘ show last Saturday which he’s letting me download as I type this. YAY I like new friends.

I am just crushed that Jeff Healey passed away. I only ever met him a couple times myself, briefly, but some good friends of mine have worked really closely with him over the years. So it was very sad news.

Back in December I ordered some tote bags off Make It Right. I finally received them today, exactly 3 months after I ordered them! At the time I ordered them, they didn’t have all the notices they have up now, about how the bags are hand made from the pink material used to showcase where the houses would be going (OMG maybe Brad Pitt touched them!!), and wouldn’t be available until after January 15, and that they’re not in mass production, etc. etc. I had no clue and actually ordered a couple for Christmas gifts!! Then they changed the site. So, Lisa, I have a pink bag for you. Happy belated birthday, even! And Kim, I know pink’s not your colour, but it’s for a good cause, and they don’t come in any other colour. Carry it proudly.

Today was our Provincial Election. I was out all day, as my appointments at the Clinic for Mind/Body Medicine take all day because of the way Access Calgary schedules things. So my day consisted of sitting in a car, sitting at my appointment, and sitting in a car. Long day. I was pretty beat by the time I got home (sitting in a car for well over an hour each way is draining! Especially when the driver is singing songs in Punjabi the entire time) but I still mustered up the energy to get my scooter out and go to the school a few blocks away and vote. My neighbour Richard was working at my polling station, handling all the voters from my apartment complex - about 750 people. He said I was only the 35th he’d seen ALL DAY. That means probably 700 people in my complex didn’t even bother voting! Ugh. Oh well, can’t blame them really, it seems this province will never change parties*, so why bother. PC stands for Political Corporation, not Progressive Conservative, as far as I’m concerned! Hee. Political Corporation. I just thought of that. Did I make it up? Political Corruption. Political Caca. Whatever. Can we get a Hillary over here?

*I’m writing this a couple hours before the election is over, so we don’t actually know yet, but based on the past 37 years it’s an educated guess.

Whoever wins, I hope they do something about AISH (Assured Income for the Severely Handicapped). I still don’t have my benefits for March, which were supposed to be deposited last Tuesday. When I called about it, I was told they couldn’t release my funds because I hadn’t “filed my annual report”. Well, I never received an annual report to file! “Oh, well, my clients are responsible for knowing their Diary Date and getting their reports in on time, I don’t call them if they are late”. Well, in the past 10 years, there was only one other time I didn’t receive the report, and I was called about it, sent another one, and filed it. Every other year, I just file it when I get it. I wasn’t even aware I had a “Diary Date”. And thanks for changing your rules without letting me know. So, she faxed me a report and I filled it out and mailed it (they won’t accept a fax back because they need your original signature). I was able to fax over attachments, however, such as my tax assessment and bank statements. So I did that. And this morning she wakes me up by calling with a million questions, and “fax me this, fax me that” because she doesn’t understand what self-employment means, and I’ve only been doing this for 10 FUCKING YEARS, BITCH! I am NOT ripping you off, but how in the hell do you expect someone to live off $1,050 AISH benefit when their rent is $1,000 and they’re not allowed to earn more than $400 a month before they are deducted benefits. So EXCUSE ME if I collect more than $400 a month, I have write-offs because I am self-employed, it is one of the great benefits of BEING self-employed on the AISH program. And I’ve been doing this for 10 FUCKING YEARS, so why don’t you just ask your boss and stop bugging me. Sigh.

It’s New Year’s Eve day. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas or whatever you celebrate, if anything! Mine was nice and quiet, my brother stayed over and we ate lots and watched The Number 23 and episodes of The Office and Flight of the Conchords. I have to watch The Number 23 again because it’s really weird and I know I missed stuff.

So, a new year is upon us… I don’t want to reflect much over the past year. Overall, I had a really great year… all the great friends, making new friends, the music, the traveling for and with the music and musicians… yeah, it was good! My health, however, is another story altogether, and one I don’t want to get into.

So we start fresh in 2008.

I guess you could say I’ve made some resolutions. Goals, things I’m going to do differently, what-have-you. I took a look at my 101 in 1001 list, and made a couple changes to things I know I won’t be doing (with regards to the no wheat/dairy/sugar attempt I made last year). #16 and #36 are now relevant to the next month. I need to do a lot of things on that list in 2008 in order to reach my deadline!

So this is the rest of my 2008 list:

• Exercise every day. Nothing major, I will know when I’m able to do more and increase it. But just do something - every single day.
• Get up about an hour before Home Care arrives (which has now been increased to 5X/week), to do those exercises and to spend at least 20 minutes meditating.
• Choose what clothes I’m going to wear the following day, before I go to bed.
• Food… well… it has to get better this year, because it can’t get worse!!! With the help of some great friends I’m starting the new year off getting some delicious and healthy meals delivered. I plan to stick with using this service quite often, instead of ordering in pizza!! Breakfast and lunches are easy and I’ve got some no-excuses ideas for those. Less junk, less junk, less junk.
• The Second Cup order: Sugar free vanilla latte with soy or skim milk, (depending on my recent dairy intake), and NO MUFFIN, PASTRY OR BISCOTTi.

As mentioned above, my home care service has been extended to 5 times/week, Monday through Friday. I’m really happy about this! Dressing myself has been a huge struggle lately, so I haven’t even really bothered on Tuesdays and Thursdays unless I had to. So it’s going to be nice that every weekday I’m up and around, showered and dressed at a decent hour. Plus, Harpal does little things like tidy up, wash dishes and take out my garbage when she has time. HUGE help! So, yay for that.

BOO for Access Calgary, however. Today I had my appointment at the Clinic for Mind/Body Medicine, and my ride never showed up. Well, he did eventually, but only after I called them and said “he’s so late now, my appointment is in 10 minutes (it takes half an hour to get there, if you’re lucky enough to get direct) so I’m not going to make it. There’s no point in going.” Buggers! The last time I went to the clinic, I saw their Psychiatrist, to talk about weaning off my anti-depressants and sleeping pills. It is SO REFRESHING to talk to a Psychiatrist who doesn’t want to see you on pills. He even went so far as to say that anti-depressants don’t work in the long term, “for anyone”. I asked “but what about people with a chemical imbalance?” and he said - are you sitting down? - “a chemical imbalance is just a marketing term made up by the pharmaceutical companies to make their drugs sound necessary. It’s not even real.”

Woah.

Anyway, bottom line is, according to him, anti-depressants work to pull someone out of that “dark place” they’re in (which is what I used them for) but then you need to get off them as soon as possible. Our bodies have an “inner pharmacy” that is perfectly capable of producing that which we take the drugs for. Of course, it’s a different story for schizophrenics, we didn’t get into that. But for someone like me, there is no reason to be on these pills. So, I’ve started the weaning off process with the anti-depressants. Then we will work on the sleeping pills. Which will be a lot harder to stop!! I told him I’ve bought a couple CDs to help put me to sleep but as he said, “it’s as much about what you do during the day as it is about what you do at night”. So, yeah, exercise is a key part of that. And I need to invest in some decaf espresso.

I asked my psychologist there, how it is that this clinic even exists. I mean, don’t pharmaceutical companies rule the world? How can there be a psychiatrist alive who doesn’t want to prescribe drugs? How can there be a medical clinic funded by the GOVERNMENT that believes our bodies can heal themselves? Read this!! Can you believe this exists, and it’s not an “alternative health centre” where I have to pay tons of money out of my own pocket to attend, because Alberta Health Care would never cover such a thing? How how how how how???

The answer is, that a man who was helped by a psychologist that uses these methods of healing, left millions of dollars to the Calgary Health Region when he passed away, with the specific instructions that they only use the money to fund a clinic like this. YAY Mr. Dead Millionnaire Guy! So now I’m going to plan a fundraiser to raise money for them, too. One of these days. I’d rather give my money to this than the MS Society, or any other Society that raises money for research to find a so-called “cure” for anything, ANY day. I’m really blessed to come across this clinic, and to live in a city that has one. I wonder if any other cities do? I expect to get a lot of help from them this year!

Well, it’s almost New Year’s Eve night, now. Since starting this entry I have been to the mall, visited the rental office, signed a one year lease and paid my (increased again - blah) rent, and made plans for tonight. Those plans include a visit from my friend Melanie, who is staying with me for a few days before she goes back to her job up in Fort MacMurray. We’re ordering in food and watching movies and stuff like that. We also have 10 million things to talk about, as I think we both need to let go of a lot of shit before 2008 starts. There may be tears.

Ciao! Happy New Year!!

Yo. Happy New Year, yo.

Last night, I finally saw the movie Pay It Forward. I bawled at the end… the ugly cry. Wow.

Anyway, it reminded me that I wanted to do another “Pay It Forward” type project this year. Last year’s was a huge success! Thanks to everyone who contributed! This year, I am doing something different, for a very good cause. Inspired by my friend Kim’s sister, Kate, who is also now MY friend (thanks, Facebook!) She works with women in/escaping from abusive relationships. She has started a Facebook group called Sisters in Ending Violence Against Women, which pointed me in the direction of the Central Alberta Women’s Emergency Shelter, and my decision was made. We’re going to raise money for this shelter and to help these brave women!

If you notice on their website, it says “CAWES is in urgent need of the following items”:

• Shampoo/Conditioner
• Deodorant
• Toothpaste
• Toothbrushes
• Combs
• Brushes
• Women’s Pajama’s (all sizes)

Seriously? Who can’t help with that?!? They also have an urgent needs list here. I say… we can do that! You guys send the money, and I’ll do my favourite thing, the shopping! And because I REALLY like their products and their advertising campaign, I’m going to buy Dove brand deodorants/soaps/shampoos etc. None of this Dollar Store stuff. Although, I may hit them up for nail clippers and combs. And I can’t WAIT to buy pajamas. Ohhhh, I love me some pajamas!!

So, here is what I need you to do, same as last year - send me your donations via PayPal. If you are not comfortable with that, you can email me for an address to send a cheque, or an email money transfer. If you’re not comfortable with giving me the money because you haven’t been reading me long and think I’m going to spend it on lattes for myself, you can make a cash donation to the shelter yourself, right here. But I am REALLY hoping you will let me have the pleasure of shopping for these ladies and their children!!! Once I have bought all the loot, I will make arrangements for Kim or Kate to pick it up from me. They don’t know this yet, but since they live in the same city as the shelter and I do not, AND they come to Calgary fairly often (or at least Kim does), I’m sure we can arrange something

Anyway, I’m sure we have all had people do nice things for us this past year, so here is your chance to pay it forward, and eventually it will come back to you again I realize this time of year is a financial burden on many people with the holidays coming up, but I’m not asking you to give much! These woman have taken their children and run from their abusive relationships with nothing but the clothes they are wearing. They need shampoo, people! A few dollars buys a lot of shampoo! Every little bit adds up - last year your $10 here and $15 there added up to over $800 for that family’s Christmas! And the best part was, I got to do the shopping… I LOVE shopping for other people!!

So don’t go thinking you can’t make a difference with only $2 or $5. Skip buying your coffee today and add it to this pot!

Click the button below to contribute and let the Good Karma begin!! Just like last year, I will keep you updated on how much I’m collecting and what I’m buying (pictures included!) And for the record, I have no idea how to move this button up higher:

It’s amazing, the things you can find when you go through everything and completely re-organize your office. Things like, CDs you’d given up on ever finding since you were in the hospital the year before… your brand new, unwrapped Madonna and Johnny Cash CDs and your favourite Paul Anka CD, for instance. Has that ever happened to you? Truly wonderful.

I’m still working on my office, but I found those CDs when I was looking for all my software to load onto my new computer. My brand new, unwrapped Mika CD was in there too!! And I found a tax receipt I have to fax to the government for a client. ‘Whew.

My mom was here this past weekend. We weren’t as productive as we were the time before, when we cleaned out my closets. But we did manage to get some shopping in. My mom recently found the Cotton Ginny gift card I gave her for Mother’s Day in 2006 that she thought she may have accidently thrown out (wonder where I get it from?) and bought some nice tops. I bought a skirt… because I NEED MORE CLOTHES OH MY GOD.

Yesterday I worked at the Pub. That is getting harder and harder to do… not just the stairs, although I’m not a fan of those stairs and they’re REALLY not appreciated when I have to pee, but the entire place isn’t exactly accessible for me. Walking from the inside of the pub through the edge of the kitchen out the back door to the bottom of the stairs outside… is an obstacle course of small, cluttered spaces and uneven ground. I had a fall in the kitchen yesterday. Didn’t hurt myself at all, it’s just annoying, and not a safe place for me. The back door is also close to the gas stove - can’t you just see the day I land on THAT. Reach my hand out as an auto-reaction to break my fall and place it right on the fire. Uhhhh huh. I’ve been trying to do most of their work from home, but I DO need to show up there once in awhile. I only stay for a short time, organize stuff and file, eat my free lunch then bring work home. The Pub is for sale and it looks like it may be sold pretty quick here… at which point I won’t do the books anymore. It will be hard to let go of it after 7 years, but I don’t even want to think about trekking back there in the winter. Plus, I do twice as much work for that place for half the money of any other client. That’s because a) I love that place; b) I love restaurant accounting; c) they treat me well and give me free coffee, food, and a promo account for drinks and stuff; d) I see their cash flow and it’s not great so I feel guilty taking more, and e) I’ve known both sets of the owners I’ve worked for a VERY long time, and it’s always been “in the family” so to speak. The new owners (should this deal go through) are not a part of that “family”, so it’s time to say goodbye. And replace them with a client that will pay me twice as much!

A couple weeks ago my DVD player jammed. I put in a DVD and it took forever to load, and then it said “wrong disc”. I couldn’t even get the DVD out, after many tries and restarting the player, etc. etc. Eventually the tray opened (after… like… a week) and I tried a couple other discs, even a DVD cleaner disc, but the “wrong disc” error message keeps popping up and then the DVD is jammed. Has anyone had this problem? Is my DVD player toast? My mom and Bob have lent me their extra cheapie one they never use for the time being. I will finally be able to watch In Cold Blood since I finished the book a couple weeks ago. One of these days I’ll get a new DVD player. Visa raised my limit another $2,500 but I am NOT taking that as a license to spend. I do, however, marvel at the good timing as I’m off to Toronto and Montreal in a few weeks!

I’ve kind of been slack with my 101 list lately. The new computer one got crossed off, as luck would have it, with no work required from me! I am currently taking all of my vitamins and supplements daily and plan to do that until I go away, which will cross of #11. One thing I’m happy about, is #91, where I wrote a letter to a newspaper in response to this article back in June. I just noticed the other day that they published my letter (and I know they received hundreds, so I’m pleased!) It’s the last letter on this page.

See, I need to get my body acceptance/fat politics blog off the ground to talk about stuff like that. Yes. One of these days.

Self-portrait with Pepper

Pita is so gorgeous in this picture!

Pepper is the Shelf Cat.