Can You Hear Me Now?

Okay, so, over withdrawal or not, I’ve started doing the Quantum Wellness cleanse of no gluten, sugar, caffeine, alcohol or animal products of any kind for up to 21 days. I’m on Day Two. So far, so good! I’m not looking forward to the sugar withdrawals. The only sweetener allowed is agave nectar or Stevia (and fruit is allowed), so not even pure maple syrup. I found an awesome vegan/gluten free/sugar free protein powder with zero carbs that fills me up like you wouldn’t believe, so that’s good! After I’m done the cleanse I plan to stick to being a (mostly) vegetarian and even a quasi-vegan. I’m not so sure I can 100% give up cheese and ice cream…

I was thinking recently, that I haven’t written about AH in awhile! That’s because he’s in Lebanon, and the last time I talked to him was shortly before he left, on my (our) birthday. We never did go out for our annual birthday dinner, and when (if?) he returns from Lebanon (it’s supposed to be in a couple weeks) he may not even go back to working for Access. Since him picking me up for my Access trips is about the only way I’ve seen him in months, who knows if we’ll even cross paths again. I think our friendship may have run its course, anyway. It’s difficult to be friends with a married man in a bad marriage, especially when you know he will never introduce you to his wife because she’s crazy jealous, and especially after you have discovered all these things about him and his caveman attitudes over the years, that you don’t like so much. Maybe the reason he came into my life was not actually for me, but for my friend Shawna; so she could meet Billy and live happily ever after. (So far so good, she moved here last week!)

Yes, my friend Shawna moved to Calgary from Winnipeg. I am so happy she’s here!! She’s living close by, and she wants to do some of the same stuff I want to do but need help in order to do it, and I know she will help me and be an amazing support. Like go to the pool… OMG it will be so nice to get back in the water!!!

I think I’m almost over my withdrawal, I haven’t cried for *no reason* since… Thursday, I think? Nothing else has improved though, like the physical stuff, so hopefully this cleanse will help. The whole purpose of this cleanse is to “eliminate sources of toxins and allergens, giving the digestive system a break from working overtime to process the substances that inhibit optimum performance the most” so your body can concentrate on other stuff, like healing itself. And my body has a LOT of healing to do! I hope I last the full 21 days, but even the author says “Stay on this program for as many days as you can, up to 21 days, as your ambition, willingness, and ability allow. Just do the best you can and don’t worry about perfection. The first time around, you may go just a day or two. That’s fine. Just give it a try. Take one day at a time. Don’t look too far ahead. Who knows? You may surprise yourself when you find yourself on day 14!” I just know I need to stay away from (plain) potato chips because they ARE allowed, but I’ll eat them non-stop if I get into that mindset. That’s what I did when I tried the no wheat/dairy/sugar thing for a couple months awhile back. I didn’t lose any weight because I practically lived off potato chips!! It’s funny to me that people envision vegetarians and vegans as slim and healthy… when in reality, if you have issues with food addiction and your weight etc., you WILL find things you can eat that will still pack the pounds on. That’s why I need to get back to Weight Watchers soon, too.

Anyway, enough about that. I’m not going to fill this blog up with talk about the cleanse and Weight Watchers! There are many other blogs about that.

Let’s see, what else is new… not much. I went to Calgary Housing on Friday to sign forms regarding the renewal of my rent subsidy, and I’ll be getting a bit more now, which is good because my rent went up in January. I’m a little worried that the agreement ends on March 31 “because we’ve only been guaranteed funding until then”. Come ON!! This province has SO MUCH MONEY (we are the only province I think, that totally benefits from the rising price of fuel and oil) and we have a budget surplus in the multi-BILLIONS. I think the government can afford to help out those of us who do NOT work in the oil and gas industry of this city, who are pretty much on a fixed disability income while costs continue to rise around us… sigh. I really hope my health improves over the next year so I can work more, I hate relying on the government to pay my rent!!

Oh, speaking of money, I’ve almost paid off my Bay card (that should be finished by early August) which will cross another thing off my 101 list. Remember that? Yeah, I wasn’t thinking straight when I put that list together. How, exactly, am I supposed to reach my financial goals of getting out of credit card debt, while buying myself all the stuff on that list and taking all those trips?? It cannot be done on what I make/get. Crazyperson. For the first time in years I’m not planning a fall trip to Toronto or Montreal I really need to concentrate on paying off the ones I’ve already taken hehe

I love my Alien Kitty.

And the totally Not Alien one.

Oh my God, I am so mean. I just changed a couple of photos that stupid people were hotlinking to from my blog, to this scary naked dude. One of the sites was using a photo I have here as the entire background to the Welcome page of their Chat room. And now everyone will be welcomed by Ugly Naked Guy. I CRACK MYSELF UP.

By the way, Ugly Naked Guy is a man that contacted me on Facebook once (and then I blocked him), and when I looked at his profile, there was only a photo album with 2 naked pictures of him. I laughed so hard I decided to save them to use just for this purpose. He is simply naked, standing over his underwear drawer, sorting tighty whiteys. And he is quite unattractive. If you want to see the picture, you’ll have to email me and ask for it, ’cause I’m not posting it here! Or you can hotlink one of my photos and wait for me to catch you and change it. Hehe. But please don’t.

My mom was here over the weekend. I barely recognize my apartment!! The clutter in the living room, dining room and kitchen is gone. The filing in my office is done. She did SO much to help me sort through crap I’ve been meaning to sort through for ages. But I put it off because it is easier with two hands and some of it involved standing for long periods of time. Last weekend my Stepdad put together my new CD stand, and finally, it is full. And the top of my hutch in the living room is not littered with stray CD and DVD cases and discs. YAY! It looks nice in here again, I actually want to live here.

Oh, update from last entry, my new friend is Sander, not Saunder. He requested me on Facebook so now I know for sure. He also has an 80mb audio file of the Polyjesters‘ show last Saturday which he’s letting me download as I type this. YAY I like new friends.

I am just crushed that Jeff Healey passed away. I only ever met him a couple times myself, briefly, but some good friends of mine have worked really closely with him over the years. So it was very sad news.

Back in December I ordered some tote bags off Make It Right. I finally received them today, exactly 3 months after I ordered them! At the time I ordered them, they didn’t have all the notices they have up now, about how the bags are hand made from the pink material used to showcase where the houses would be going (OMG maybe Brad Pitt touched them!!), and wouldn’t be available until after January 15, and that they’re not in mass production, etc. etc. I had no clue and actually ordered a couple for Christmas gifts!! Then they changed the site. So, Lisa, I have a pink bag for you. Happy belated birthday, even! And Kim, I know pink’s not your colour, but it’s for a good cause, and they don’t come in any other colour. Carry it proudly.

Today was our Provincial Election. I was out all day, as my appointments at the Clinic for Mind/Body Medicine take all day because of the way Access Calgary schedules things. So my day consisted of sitting in a car, sitting at my appointment, and sitting in a car. Long day. I was pretty beat by the time I got home (sitting in a car for well over an hour each way is draining! Especially when the driver is singing songs in Punjabi the entire time) but I still mustered up the energy to get my scooter out and go to the school a few blocks away and vote. My neighbour Richard was working at my polling station, handling all the voters from my apartment complex - about 750 people. He said I was only the 35th he’d seen ALL DAY. That means probably 700 people in my complex didn’t even bother voting! Ugh. Oh well, can’t blame them really, it seems this province will never change parties*, so why bother. PC stands for Political Corporation, not Progressive Conservative, as far as I’m concerned! Hee. Political Corporation. I just thought of that. Did I make it up? Political Corruption. Political Caca. Whatever. Can we get a Hillary over here?

*I’m writing this a couple hours before the election is over, so we don’t actually know yet, but based on the past 37 years it’s an educated guess.

Whoever wins, I hope they do something about AISH (Assured Income for the Severely Handicapped). I still don’t have my benefits for March, which were supposed to be deposited last Tuesday. When I called about it, I was told they couldn’t release my funds because I hadn’t “filed my annual report”. Well, I never received an annual report to file! “Oh, well, my clients are responsible for knowing their Diary Date and getting their reports in on time, I don’t call them if they are late”. Well, in the past 10 years, there was only one other time I didn’t receive the report, and I was called about it, sent another one, and filed it. Every other year, I just file it when I get it. I wasn’t even aware I had a “Diary Date”. And thanks for changing your rules without letting me know. So, she faxed me a report and I filled it out and mailed it (they won’t accept a fax back because they need your original signature). I was able to fax over attachments, however, such as my tax assessment and bank statements. So I did that. And this morning she wakes me up by calling with a million questions, and “fax me this, fax me that” because she doesn’t understand what self-employment means, and I’ve only been doing this for 10 FUCKING YEARS, BITCH! I am NOT ripping you off, but how in the hell do you expect someone to live off $1,050 AISH benefit when their rent is $1,000 and they’re not allowed to earn more than $400 a month before they are deducted benefits. So EXCUSE ME if I collect more than $400 a month, I have write-offs because I am self-employed, it is one of the great benefits of BEING self-employed on the AISH program. And I’ve been doing this for 10 FUCKING YEARS, so why don’t you just ask your boss and stop bugging me. Sigh.

It’s New Year’s Eve day. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas or whatever you celebrate, if anything! Mine was nice and quiet, my brother stayed over and we ate lots and watched The Number 23 and episodes of The Office and Flight of the Conchords. I have to watch The Number 23 again because it’s really weird and I know I missed stuff.

So, a new year is upon us… I don’t want to reflect much over the past year. Overall, I had a really great year… all the great friends, making new friends, the music, the traveling for and with the music and musicians… yeah, it was good! My health, however, is another story altogether, and one I don’t want to get into.

So we start fresh in 2008.

I guess you could say I’ve made some resolutions. Goals, things I’m going to do differently, what-have-you. I took a look at my 101 in 1001 list, and made a couple changes to things I know I won’t be doing (with regards to the no wheat/dairy/sugar attempt I made last year). #16 and #36 are now relevant to the next month. I need to do a lot of things on that list in 2008 in order to reach my deadline!

So this is the rest of my 2008 list:

• Exercise every day. Nothing major, I will know when I’m able to do more and increase it. But just do something - every single day.
• Get up about an hour before Home Care arrives (which has now been increased to 5X/week), to do those exercises and to spend at least 20 minutes meditating.
• Choose what clothes I’m going to wear the following day, before I go to bed.
• Food… well… it has to get better this year, because it can’t get worse!!! With the help of some great friends I’m starting the new year off getting some delicious and healthy meals delivered. I plan to stick with using this service quite often, instead of ordering in pizza!! Breakfast and lunches are easy and I’ve got some no-excuses ideas for those. Less junk, less junk, less junk.
• The Second Cup order: Sugar free vanilla latte with soy or skim milk, (depending on my recent dairy intake), and NO MUFFIN, PASTRY OR BISCOTTi.

As mentioned above, my home care service has been extended to 5 times/week, Monday through Friday. I’m really happy about this! Dressing myself has been a huge struggle lately, so I haven’t even really bothered on Tuesdays and Thursdays unless I had to. So it’s going to be nice that every weekday I’m up and around, showered and dressed at a decent hour. Plus, Harpal does little things like tidy up, wash dishes and take out my garbage when she has time. HUGE help! So, yay for that.

BOO for Access Calgary, however. Today I had my appointment at the Clinic for Mind/Body Medicine, and my ride never showed up. Well, he did eventually, but only after I called them and said “he’s so late now, my appointment is in 10 minutes (it takes half an hour to get there, if you’re lucky enough to get direct) so I’m not going to make it. There’s no point in going.” Buggers! The last time I went to the clinic, I saw their Psychiatrist, to talk about weaning off my anti-depressants and sleeping pills. It is SO REFRESHING to talk to a Psychiatrist who doesn’t want to see you on pills. He even went so far as to say that anti-depressants don’t work in the long term, “for anyone”. I asked “but what about people with a chemical imbalance?” and he said - are you sitting down? - “a chemical imbalance is just a marketing term made up by the pharmaceutical companies to make their drugs sound necessary. It’s not even real.”

Woah.

Anyway, bottom line is, according to him, anti-depressants work to pull someone out of that “dark place” they’re in (which is what I used them for) but then you need to get off them as soon as possible. Our bodies have an “inner pharmacy” that is perfectly capable of producing that which we take the drugs for. Of course, it’s a different story for schizophrenics, we didn’t get into that. But for someone like me, there is no reason to be on these pills. So, I’ve started the weaning off process with the anti-depressants. Then we will work on the sleeping pills. Which will be a lot harder to stop!! I told him I’ve bought a couple CDs to help put me to sleep but as he said, “it’s as much about what you do during the day as it is about what you do at night”. So, yeah, exercise is a key part of that. And I need to invest in some decaf espresso.

I asked my psychologist there, how it is that this clinic even exists. I mean, don’t pharmaceutical companies rule the world? How can there be a psychiatrist alive who doesn’t want to prescribe drugs? How can there be a medical clinic funded by the GOVERNMENT that believes our bodies can heal themselves? Read this!! Can you believe this exists, and it’s not an “alternative health centre” where I have to pay tons of money out of my own pocket to attend, because Alberta Health Care would never cover such a thing? How how how how how???

The answer is, that a man who was helped by a psychologist that uses these methods of healing, left millions of dollars to the Calgary Health Region when he passed away, with the specific instructions that they only use the money to fund a clinic like this. YAY Mr. Dead Millionnaire Guy! So now I’m going to plan a fundraiser to raise money for them, too. One of these days. I’d rather give my money to this than the MS Society, or any other Society that raises money for research to find a so-called “cure” for anything, ANY day. I’m really blessed to come across this clinic, and to live in a city that has one. I wonder if any other cities do? I expect to get a lot of help from them this year!

Well, it’s almost New Year’s Eve night, now. Since starting this entry I have been to the mall, visited the rental office, signed a one year lease and paid my (increased again - blah) rent, and made plans for tonight. Those plans include a visit from my friend Melanie, who is staying with me for a few days before she goes back to her job up in Fort MacMurray. We’re ordering in food and watching movies and stuff like that. We also have 10 million things to talk about, as I think we both need to let go of a lot of shit before 2008 starts. There may be tears.

Ciao! Happy New Year!!

Yo. Happy New Year, yo.

Last night, I finally saw the movie Pay It Forward. I bawled at the end… the ugly cry. Wow.

Anyway, it reminded me that I wanted to do another “Pay It Forward” type project this year. Last year’s was a huge success! Thanks to everyone who contributed! This year, I am doing something different, for a very good cause. Inspired by my friend Kim’s sister, Kate, who is also now MY friend (thanks, Facebook!) She works with women in/escaping from abusive relationships. She has started a Facebook group called Sisters in Ending Violence Against Women, which pointed me in the direction of the Central Alberta Women’s Emergency Shelter, and my decision was made. We’re going to raise money for this shelter and to help these brave women!

If you notice on their website, it says “CAWES is in urgent need of the following items”:

• Shampoo/Conditioner
• Deodorant
• Toothpaste
• Toothbrushes
• Combs
• Brushes
• Women’s Pajama’s (all sizes)

Seriously? Who can’t help with that?!? They also have an urgent needs list here. I say… we can do that! You guys send the money, and I’ll do my favourite thing, the shopping! And because I REALLY like their products and their advertising campaign, I’m going to buy Dove brand deodorants/soaps/shampoos etc. None of this Dollar Store stuff. Although, I may hit them up for nail clippers and combs. And I can’t WAIT to buy pajamas. Ohhhh, I love me some pajamas!!

So, here is what I need you to do, same as last year - send me your donations via PayPal. If you are not comfortable with that, you can email me for an address to send a cheque, or an email money transfer. If you’re not comfortable with giving me the money because you haven’t been reading me long and think I’m going to spend it on lattes for myself, you can make a cash donation to the shelter yourself, right here. But I am REALLY hoping you will let me have the pleasure of shopping for these ladies and their children!!! Once I have bought all the loot, I will make arrangements for Kim or Kate to pick it up from me. They don’t know this yet, but since they live in the same city as the shelter and I do not, AND they come to Calgary fairly often (or at least Kim does), I’m sure we can arrange something

Anyway, I’m sure we have all had people do nice things for us this past year, so here is your chance to pay it forward, and eventually it will come back to you again I realize this time of year is a financial burden on many people with the holidays coming up, but I’m not asking you to give much! These woman have taken their children and run from their abusive relationships with nothing but the clothes they are wearing. They need shampoo, people! A few dollars buys a lot of shampoo! Every little bit adds up - last year your $10 here and $15 there added up to over $800 for that family’s Christmas! And the best part was, I got to do the shopping… I LOVE shopping for other people!!

So don’t go thinking you can’t make a difference with only $2 or $5. Skip buying your coffee today and add it to this pot!

Click the button below to contribute and let the Good Karma begin!! Just like last year, I will keep you updated on how much I’m collecting and what I’m buying (pictures included!) And for the record, I have no idea how to move this button up higher:

It’s amazing, the things you can find when you go through everything and completely re-organize your office. Things like, CDs you’d given up on ever finding since you were in the hospital the year before… your brand new, unwrapped Madonna and Johnny Cash CDs and your favourite Paul Anka CD, for instance. Has that ever happened to you? Truly wonderful.

I’m still working on my office, but I found those CDs when I was looking for all my software to load onto my new computer. My brand new, unwrapped Mika CD was in there too!! And I found a tax receipt I have to fax to the government for a client. ‘Whew.

My mom was here this past weekend. We weren’t as productive as we were the time before, when we cleaned out my closets. But we did manage to get some shopping in. My mom recently found the Cotton Ginny gift card I gave her for Mother’s Day in 2006 that she thought she may have accidently thrown out (wonder where I get it from?) and bought some nice tops. I bought a skirt… because I NEED MORE CLOTHES OH MY GOD.

Yesterday I worked at the Pub. That is getting harder and harder to do… not just the stairs, although I’m not a fan of those stairs and they’re REALLY not appreciated when I have to pee, but the entire place isn’t exactly accessible for me. Walking from the inside of the pub through the edge of the kitchen out the back door to the bottom of the stairs outside… is an obstacle course of small, cluttered spaces and uneven ground. I had a fall in the kitchen yesterday. Didn’t hurt myself at all, it’s just annoying, and not a safe place for me. The back door is also close to the gas stove - can’t you just see the day I land on THAT. Reach my hand out as an auto-reaction to break my fall and place it right on the fire. Uhhhh huh. I’ve been trying to do most of their work from home, but I DO need to show up there once in awhile. I only stay for a short time, organize stuff and file, eat my free lunch then bring work home. The Pub is for sale and it looks like it may be sold pretty quick here… at which point I won’t do the books anymore. It will be hard to let go of it after 7 years, but I don’t even want to think about trekking back there in the winter. Plus, I do twice as much work for that place for half the money of any other client. That’s because a) I love that place; b) I love restaurant accounting; c) they treat me well and give me free coffee, food, and a promo account for drinks and stuff; d) I see their cash flow and it’s not great so I feel guilty taking more, and e) I’ve known both sets of the owners I’ve worked for a VERY long time, and it’s always been “in the family” so to speak. The new owners (should this deal go through) are not a part of that “family”, so it’s time to say goodbye. And replace them with a client that will pay me twice as much!

A couple weeks ago my DVD player jammed. I put in a DVD and it took forever to load, and then it said “wrong disc”. I couldn’t even get the DVD out, after many tries and restarting the player, etc. etc. Eventually the tray opened (after… like… a week) and I tried a couple other discs, even a DVD cleaner disc, but the “wrong disc” error message keeps popping up and then the DVD is jammed. Has anyone had this problem? Is my DVD player toast? My mom and Bob have lent me their extra cheapie one they never use for the time being. I will finally be able to watch In Cold Blood since I finished the book a couple weeks ago. One of these days I’ll get a new DVD player. Visa raised my limit another $2,500 but I am NOT taking that as a license to spend. I do, however, marvel at the good timing as I’m off to Toronto and Montreal in a few weeks!

I’ve kind of been slack with my 101 list lately. The new computer one got crossed off, as luck would have it, with no work required from me! I am currently taking all of my vitamins and supplements daily and plan to do that until I go away, which will cross of #11. One thing I’m happy about, is #91, where I wrote a letter to a newspaper in response to this article back in June. I just noticed the other day that they published my letter (and I know they received hundreds, so I’m pleased!) It’s the last letter on this page.

See, I need to get my body acceptance/fat politics blog off the ground to talk about stuff like that. Yes. One of these days.

Self-portrait with Pepper

Pita is so gorgeous in this picture!

Pepper is the Shelf Cat.

I had a really busy week, it was great. On Wednesday, I was visited by my Home Care OT and a sales rep from the medical supply store I deal with, and he installed my stripper pole in the front window. Now I can safely step out and in from my patio doors with something to hold onto. He will be returning soon with another pole for beside my bed, and another grab bar for my shower. He also left me with information on elecronic lift chairs and how to go about getting funding for one. I swear, the recliner I have now is going to break soon, I push and pull on it SO HARD every time I struggle to get up from it. Plus, the cats have clawed it to death so I’d kind of like it replaced with something they don’t recognize so I can train them to NOT claw at it. ‘Cause I CAN train them, you know.

Show times are daily at 3:00, 5:00 and 7:00 pm and involve lots of… um… kitty action.

Pita practices her moves.

On Thursday, I worked at the Pub, although I barely got anything done. I really only had time to organize all the work I’ll be doing when I go back next week. I haven’t been there in awhile, so there was a lot of paper to sort through.

Christine made me a stir fry for lunch, most of which ended up on my white shirt, and my Tide to Go pen didn’t help much. Needless to say, I didn’t feel classy enough to be going to the salon we went to afterwards. Kevin drove Christine and I to Scentorini for our pedicures. It is one of those beautiful, tranquil spas where before your treatment you sit in this comfortable lounge with those BIG armed chairs and sofas and are served coffee or tea while you wait. Because it was my first time there, I had to fill out a bunch of forms about my health, and because filling out forms isn’t something I do anymore without a computer, Christine did the writing for me. She actually wrote “too many to list” when they asked if I’d ever had any accidents or surgeries. We just sat there and laughed as we went over everything that has happened to me over the years. What else can you do?? Christine remembers cooking meals for me and bringing them over after a surgery I had about 12 years ago, and then she did it again this past August, and she has pretty much been around for everything in between.

Anyway, we had our pedicures and it was lovely. Paraffin wax and everything. I also found out, via the girl doing my pedicure who lives near me, that there is a new Nail place in my mall I didn’t know about. It’s tucked away in an area I never go to, and last time I checked it was a hair salon that didn’t do nails. So, YAY, I now have a place next door again where I can get cheap pedicures. ‘Whew.

It was POURING rain, so we had time-called a taxi to pick us up at 4:30 (and it took forever to get through). We sat in their reception area and our cab never showed up. We kept calling, but we couldn’t get through. We ended up having to wait for Kevin to finish up at the Pub so he could pick us up. I was finally home by 6:00.

Shortly after that my mom and Bob arrived, bringing McDonald’s with them because we had all had long days and they just wanted to grab something quick on the way here. I said “get me something, too!” because I was too tired to do anything food-prep wise. Bob returned to Strathmore to face life on his own for two days while I kept my mom. You know, he really doesn’t know what to do without her. It’s kind of sweet, but it’s also kind of annoying for me when the phone rings constantly and it’s him. At one point I yelled “you’ve had her all week! Give me two days!” Heh.

We watched TV (Yay for the Office!) and then went to bed.

The next morning we did a few things around here, and my new duvet arrived, before we headed out for the afternoon. I’m not going to go into great details about what we did, because it involved seeing a psychic/medium/medical intuitive/energy healer type woman, and I know lots of people don’t believe in that stuff and I don’t want to go into it too much here. However, she was amazing, right on about so many things and so many people, and had a lot of interesting things to say about my health. Basically, she confirmed a lot of things that I already knew and believed, but it was nice to hear it from someone else who has never even met me before. Then I went for a biofeedback treatment, and I’m going to go back a couple more times. My health problems, I believe and she confirmed, are mostly caused by my emotional health and things from my past and issues with my Father. (I haven’t spoken to my father in almost 4 years). Although I have disconnected from him physically, I still have a lot of work to do to disconnect from him emotionally. So that is my goal this year, and she said this is MY YEAR. That I will be in much better health once I accomplish that, and I’m 50% there.

Oh there I go, already saying more than I wanted to! Anyway, she was the real deal. She said so many things about me and people in my life that was right on the mark (even AH, she talked about him having been estranged from his son, [and how did she even know he has a son, never mind that he was separated from him?], and that I can trust him as a friend. She said he is trying to be a better person now and needs to be forgiven for his mistakes from the past. Which is so true. And that he has “managing issues” (whether she meant time-management or control-management I don’t know, but she would be right on both accounts!)

This woman put any other psychic-type person I have ever seen to shame. But I still say, even a meeting with a not-so-good psychic is worth more than paying a therapist. You just get so much more out of one visit, they are such intuitive people. You walk out feeling very hopeful about your future and how to make it better. My mom was with me during everything (she was my note-taker, Pat doesn’t record sessions) and gets why I think that now.

I’ll be going for another biofeedback session soon. I want to give it a good three tries before I make up my mind about its benefits.

After all that, mom and I went for a bite to eat at a nearby Vietnamese restaurant and tried to get through to a cab company. It took awhile (it was pouring rain again), but we finally got one and made it home. Flaked out, watched Thank You for Smoking, and went to bed.

Saturday (a beautiful day), we went to our chiropractor and for a quick lunch, then came back here, hopped on our scooters, and headed to the mall. My mom has a mobility scooter too, and it was finally removed from the back of their van so she could use it while visiting me. It’s not possible to talk while shopping when you’re both on scooters, so it’s really more about getting from A to B without hitting people and making sure not to lose the other person. We went to Cotton Ginny (I bought a top, mom bought pants), Wal-Mart, and I showed her the wonderfulness that is Dollarama. She spent $10 and came out with loads of great stuff. All hail Dollarama!

Bob picked her up around 6:00 and they went back to Strathmore. I stayed home and tried to watch Clerks 2, but I couldn’t do it. Sorry Clerks fans, I just couldn’t make it past the first half hour. Yes, Joi, it was worse than the Trailer Park Boys movie. I was in bed by 10:00.

Today, my friend Pam came by to take me for dessert and coffee at Olive Garden. We ended up starting off with a pizza to share before going into the lattes and dessert, because it’s really hard to go to Olive Garden and not eat breadsticks (which come with everything). It was lovely. Afterwards, Pam came back here and put my new duvet into my new duvet cover, so my bedroom is FINALLY complete! We even went to the mall and bought new pillows to fill the shams that came with the duvet cover. My old shams were smaller and the thin pillows I had were fine, but the new shams are a lot bigger and needed bigger pillows! So, the bedroom re-decorating project is now complete:

I can’t wait to sleep there tonight!

My birthday present to myself? My new bedroom (decor and bedding). I told you about a week or so ago I bought the duvet cover and pillows and stuff. My brother’s birthday present for me was a picture to hang over my bed, and I picked up a runner for one of the dressers the other day. AND just last night I ordered a new duvet. I did! Not a $1,000 one, but I went to hbc.com and ordered their goose down one. I’m sure I’ll be thrilled with it, and be able to cross #37 off my list. Last night I was attempting to put my new duvet cover on my old thin duvet, and I realized just how sad it is, and the cover was way too big for its flimsly thinness. So I did what I do best, solved the problem with shopping. Now I have more charges to pay off on my Bay card, BUT I didn’t order it from Sears, so that card is still paid off, and I plan to keep it that way. Anyway, it’s my BIRTHDAY.

I should have the new duvet by the end of the week, hopefully by Thursday because my brother is coming over. He can help me put it all together (I realized I can’t put the duvet cover on myself). And my Mother will be the first person to sleep with my new bedding… how is that fair?? Heh. She’s staying over Thursday and Friday nights.

Anyway, yeah, it’s my birthday. I’m 39. I didn’t make any plans with friends this year, I’m laying low. I was hoping to meet up with AH for our annual “our birthday is on the same day, so we should go out” dinner, but that didn’t work out. Not surprising, it’s so hard to see him. I wish he would just let me meet his wife so she knows I’m not after her husband, and we could all be friendly. But, apparently, she thinks every woman that talks to her husband wants to marry him, so she would have NONE of that. It’s complicated, but he continues to be someone I yak on the phone with a lot and he helps me with banking runs and stuff. Other than that, we don’t really see each other. We’re just going to win that house on May 22, because I know we met for a reason, and I’d like that to be the reason!

My mom gave me what I wanted for my birthday, a spot at Eva Marsh’s workshop on May 12. She is an incredible woman who healed her MS many, many years ago. She does tons of research and has multiple degrees (she got her Masters in Electrical Engineering and a BSc in Physics so she could understand the research she was reading, and the physics of a nerve cell). I attended her workshop several years ago, and she is amazing. Apparently she has learned a lot more and has tons of new stuff to talk about, so I look forward to this. I think there will only be about 8 people, it’s a very intimate and interactive workshop.

So, that is from my mom, who also dropped off a gift bag yesterday filled with little goodies such as sunflower placemats and perfume and stuff, which I did not expect. And THEN, as if that wasn’t enough, today she had flowers delivered to me:

I’m so lucky. Beautiful flowers, and beautiful cats!

My friend Christine from the Pub is taking me for a pedicure on Thursday, BLESS HER SOUL!!! I haven’t had one in ages. She is taking me to this fancy salon she goes to. It’s a good thing I wear Crocs most of the time, because they don’t show my toes. Now I can wear open-toed sandals if the mood strikes me.

Tax season is over, and all tax returns I needed to get done were filed on time. I’ve still got lots of work to do that didn’t have that deadline, but I’m over the big hump. I took today off, because it is my birthday, and I just wanted a “me” day. I went to the mall and got a latte and a piece of their pineapple coconut cake (it was either that or buy an ENTIRE McCain chocolate cake from Wal-Mart) for my on-my-real-birthday cake. (I’m sure there will be more opportunities to eat birthday cake in the next week, but there is just something about THE ACTUAL DAY). I also paid my rent, which is the worst thing about having your birthday on the 1st of the month. I always think I should get this month free, but “they” don’t see it that way. I still haven’t heard about being subsidized, I hope they can get that in place before June 1st!

Speaking of money, AISH overpaid me by $227 this month. I actually called them and told them, because I am THAT honest. She called back after looking into it and said it was a computer glitch, and she has no idea why or how it happened, (in other words, “we never would have known if you hadn’t said anything, you IDIOT! Now I have to do extra paperwork!”) and they will deduct it off my next payment. Sigh. I hope I earned some karma points for that one.

Oh! The cutest thing happened today. On my way back from the mall, I saw this little girl, about 3 years old, walking with her father in my parking lot. I couldn’t take my eyes off her, she was soooo cute. Shortly after I got inside and parked my scooter, I opened the patio doors to see the little girl (and her dad) standing across the way from my patio, staring at Pita, who was in the window. I beckoned the little girl over, that it was okay, she’s a friendly kitty. As she came to the door, I started to open the screen just a little bit so she could pet Pita, but without letting Pita run outside. The little girl FLUNG the screen door all the way open and cooooed at Pita. I held Pita in place (she is now at the point where she wants to run out there… I need to watch it! The hallway is one thing… but outside and cars is something else all together!) The little girl pet her, and then planted a quick kiss on Pita’s head before she ran back to her dad. It was so cute I almost pissed myself.

Wondering what to do with your tax refund?? Help Shawna raise money for Breast Cancer research! She’s got more great reasons she is doing this in her blog.

I would like you all to know that I have completed 26.73% of the items on my 101 in 1001 list. Not bad, considering I have almost 2-1/2 years left! So far I’m most proud that my Sears card is paid off completely and I’ve been saving the $1/day. This afternoon I’m going for an eye exam which will eventually lead up to completing #7. I’m also pretty sure I have completed #27, but I have to wait until my bed gets all made up with the new duvet cover and everything and make sure. That should be sometime this weekend, when my mom and Bob are here to help.

Yesterday I finally got everything worked out with my Shaklee account, so I cancelled my order of eco-friendly cleaning stuff from the organic delivery place and ordered a kit from Shaklee instead. WAY cheaper, and a lot more stuff! I just won’t be getting the toilet paper now, but since I needed TP, I went to Wal-Mart to buy some… 24 rolls for $4.97 as opposed to 12 rolls for $16.97 of the recycled materials variety. I’m not so sure I’ll be switching to recycled toilet paper! I’ll just pat myself on the back for the changes in cleaning stuff and call it a day.

I also bought more energy saving light bulbs, so they will be everywhere now. Plus I’m doing a bunch of other little power-related things, so I look forward to seeing the changes in my electric bill next month

This morning my Home Care is starting. They, like everyone else, are short staffed and can only get me someone for an hour one day/week instead of the 3 days I’m supposed to. Eventually they should be able to get me the 3X/week plus the two hours once/month for laundry help. Anyway, one hour a week is more than I had before, and at least I’ll get my toenails trimmed and my legs shaved! I still have knicks all over my legs from my last attempt.

Now that I’ve started Home Care again, I need to have yet another occupational therapist come over for yet another assessment of me. She’s coming tomorrow morning. I’m going to try to get a couple poles and bars out of her that the guy I saw in August didn’t think I needed. I need something beside my bed should I ever fall in my bedroom again, and my mom suggested a pole by my patio doors which is a great idea. It’s a big step up and down from my floor to out those doors, so something to hang on to and steady me is needed. The cat tree just won’t do.

I can only imagine the comments from my neighbours about the stripper pole, front and center in that window!

On Monday morning the Social Worker was here to finalize the paperwork to hopefully get my rent subsidized. Keep your fingers crossed for me! A few extra hundred a month would certainly help me accomplish #18, 19 and 20 on my list a lot sooner.

So, I guess this is another week of trying to get my personal poop in a group, as well as finishing TAXES. I’m only typing this now because Home Care is coming at 10:30 and I don’t want to be in the middle of something work-related when she arrives. Then I need to work for a few hours before my eye exam, after which I won’t be able to do a damn thing because my pupils will be dilated.

It looks like I won’t get everything done by April 30. I mean, all taxes will be filed and first quarter GSTs paid (except one client who hasn’t sent his first quarter stuff yet) but I have other bookkeeping that isn’t as urgent sitting here. I was hoping to have it ALL done by April 30, but, that may not happen with all my other appointments and personal stuff going on. Such is my life! It will all get done, it always does.

I’m getting my ass kicked, no BIG surprise, but if you can spare a few minutes…