Can You Hear Me Now?

For the first time in a long time, I can honestly say I’m feeling good, and looking forward to the future! My God, it’s been forever since I felt this way.

I think it’s a combination of a few things. For starters, my big shipment of StemEnhance arrived and I’m working my way up to 2 capsules every two hours. I’m really hopeful that this is going to help me a lot. I also met with my new Physiotherapist I’ll be seeing at the hospital near me, and he was so positive that I can get some mobility back, that it made me more optimistic, too. He is really nice, and I’ll be seeing him twice/week for the time being. I’m sure I will eventually be referred back to the group exercise classes at Living Well with a Chronic Illness, which is fine as long as I’m able to do it. But for now, I’m thrilled to have some one-on-one P/T for at least a month or so. Between physio, Range of Motion exercises with my home care and my Chi Machine, I’m getting a decent amount of exercise and will hopefully be able to add walks up and down the hallway to that list soon (when I I feel stronger and more balanced and confident!)

Once I decided to pursue self-managed care, that took a load off, too. Even though it may take 6 months or so to set up, at least I can look towards the future and the possibilities of having a lot more help getting out and about and getting to the POOL and even a fresh salad prepared for me once in awhile (I seriously will not prepare or eat salad on my own, but if it is prepared for me, even from a bag, and handed to me I will not only eat it, but I will enjoy it. I need a wife). I tried to get into the self-managed care presentation on May 7 but it was booked solid. I’ll be going next month. And if you don’t show up, you are BLACKLISTED. They have huge waiting lists. That’s why even if I decide to do it and get my assessment it takes months for the funding to come through. So, in the meantime, if StemEnhance does its job I won’t NEED extra care, thankyouverymuch.

The other thing that has helped lift my spirits is that I FINALLY got the proper forms filled out and went through the numerous channels and made several phone calls to get Access Calgary to change my mobility status from “ambulatory” to the fact that I will mostly be using my scooter (and power chair, if I get it) when I go out, so they stop sending me regular cars and send me wheelchair vans or busses instead. This gives me a whole lot of freedom! Yesterday I went to my physio appointment ALL BY MYSELF! Until I get my power chair I will still need my dad to take me to most medical appointments in my folding chair because my scooter is too big to fit into most offices (and restaurants and live music venues and other places I want to go). But now I can make arrangements to spend an afternoon wandering downtown or in another mall besides the one next door (which is a great little mall and very handy with a Wal-Mart right there, but a change of scenery would be nice. Plus they don’t have a MAC counter or a Purdy’s).

The downside to that status change is that I will never have AH as a driver again because he drives a regular car. Not that I’ve used Access in the past year anyway, and not that AH and I even talk much these days, but it was always a nice thought that there was a chance he’d be the one picking me up and even if the trip was a loooong city-tour one, I wouldn’t complain because I’d have a nice person to talk and laugh with. He’ll just have to get a wheelchair van now, that’s all haha

And that brings me to the next thing that has helped my outlook on life, seeing AH again and having a nice evening out with friends! Shawna and her boyfriend Billy took me out for dinner last weekend, and since Billy and AH are friends (we are the reason Shawna and Billy met in the first place) and our birthdays are the same day, he came along too! I haven’t seen AH in over a year and have barely talked to him. It was so great to see him and reminded me how much I like talking to him and how much fun I have just being around him. And how kind he can be; he reminded me he gets all the movie channels and will record any movies I want to see, and he’s going to bring me pure bovine colostrum (colostrum is really good for your immune system, digestive system, all kinds of things and although you can get it in supplements, AH’s wife gets it directly from the Hutterite’s cows for free). He mixes it with a bit of milk and makes a kind of yogurt out of it. Sounds yuck but it is really good for you.

Billy and Shawna at dinner. Playing with my MacBook photo settings.

Me and AH. I obviously smudged out his features because after everything I have said about him in here, I don’t think it’s a good idea to reveal him completely!

And now that I’ve played around with those photos, I have realized I saved them that way and will never be able to see the originals again. Ack!

Anyway, long time readers know AH and I went through quite a lot there a few years ago when we first met and he was separated from his wife, but I’m pleased to say that although I still think he’s a very attractive man, there is absolutely no physical attraction there anymore. And the more I get to know him as a friend, the more I piece together all the lies he was telling me back then to get me to go out with him (I figured out a doozy last week). It may be water under the bridge now, but man, I don’t understand how any woman could be with a man who lies so often, easily, and effortlessly. That’s scary. At least I’m not the one married to him.

Shawna will be here any minute so I’ll need to take a blog break. I think we are going to see a movie later. Getting out with friends certainly helps a girl going through some rough times handle it better!

So I mentioned about a year ago that I switched my TV from the only choice we used to have, Shaw Cable, to the new service from the phone company, Telus TV. Free digital, one year free service, yadda yadda yadda. So my one year free is up, and when I got my bill yesterday something didn’t seem right, so I called them to ask about it. Also in my mail was a letter from Shaw, asking me to come back to them and they’ll give me a free PVR. I’d also heard Telus was giving away PVRs to new customers. So I decided I am getting a free PVR, too. I called them about my bill, and after that was explained, I told him I’d heard about free PVRs and that Shaw offered me one to go back to them, so what could Telus do for me? He said - get this - “oh, they are not free PVRs. If you agree to a new three year contract, you get a PVR unit and we will set it up for you at no charge. The cost for rental is $20/month, and we credit you back the $20.” So… what you’re telling me is the PVR costs $20/month, but you waive that fee? How is that not free? He put me through to the customer loyalty department where a new guy said “so you want a PVR, and you don’t want to pay for it?” Yes, please. “We can do that.” I asked him if the PVR is “free” for the first year, or the three years of the contract, or what? He said “you don’t pay for the PVR as long as you use Telus TV.” Correct me if I’m wrong, as I’m sure the Telus people will, but that, my friends, is a free PVR. I get it installed next Sunday (yes, their techs work Sundays!) and really look forward to being able to pause live TV so I can go to the bathroom and not miss anything. Apparently I am the first person to say that to the guy on the phone. “Everyone always says ‘go to the kitchen’.” Well. Everyone is obviously LYING.

Shawna and I went to see “17 Again” last night. It was cute. Zac Efron is hot. I’m sorry, but he is. I’m 41 and I’m allowed to say so.

I feel exceptionally good today. I don’t know if the StemEnhance is starting to kick in or what, but I am liking this. I can actually say I like life again, and I haven’t been able to say that for a long time. This is good. Last night I was in bed and I remember feeling sooooo good, snuggled in my comfy bed in my awesome sheets (1200 thread count Egyptian cotton I got for a steal off eBay) and fluffy duvet and just feeling blessed and lucky. I don’t know where it’s coming from, but I hope it keeps on coming. I’m pretty sure listening to Wayne Dyer’s Being in Balance audio on my iPod every day for weeks hasn’t hurt. That stuff has to register at some point.

I am still having a grand ‘ol time on Twitter. I follow some hilariously funny people. Some actors aren’t funny unless they are reading from a script. I don’t follow them for long. But some ARE (Aziz Ansari, I’m looking at you) and even better are the writers that write their funny lines for TV. That’s pretty much what I do on Twitter; laugh and re-tweet things that make me laugh. And toss out the odd original update/observation. I do follow a few friends and authors of blogs I read, and have even connected with some pretty cool people I might not otherwise have come across, but I’m no power-Twitterer. Those people scare me.

Time to fill up the cat food bins and get on my chi machine. Ciao!

I just want to smoosh my face into Pepper. I often do.

Further to my previous post, I have decided feeling sorry for myself is not going to help or change my situation in any way (newsflash!) and I need to seriously look at my options. This comes after I received an email from a dear friend of mine, Jaz. Jaz has muscular dystrophy and has much less use of her body than I have of mine. I’m not even sure of her age anymore, but she wasn’t more than 19 or 20 when I met her, so “mid-20’s” is a safe bet. Anyway, she is wise beyond her years and one of the most inspiring, optimistic people you could ever hope to meet. I met her first online and we’ve only met in person once, back when I was a positive and inspiring person myself. Qualities I’ve been lacking recently. Jaz lives in a small town I have never been to but I fully intend to get my dad to take me out there one weekend so I can see her and give her a much deserved hug for all the kicks in my butt she has so gently given me via email and Facebook.

So Jaz wrote me after reading my last blog post and encouraged me to seriously look into self-managed care, which is where the health region assesses your needs and funds you for a personal caregiver based on your needs. The difference between this and Home Care is that I am responsible for hiring the person myself, and paying them, taking care of payroll deductions and all that stuff. The main reason I have put off getting registered with this service is because you can’t be on Home Care at the same time, so if the person you hire is sick or doesn’t show up one day, you’re screwed. It sounded like too much stress to me, since I can’t dress myself and stuff. But Jaz made quite a few good points and got me thinking about how the pros outweigh the cons, especially since I live alone and could probably get funding for someone pretty much full time, to help with shopping, cooking, cleaning, appointments, even to accompany me to the pool and help me in the change room. And if Jaz can find someone reliable in her small town, I should be able to hire someone in the city. I’m not sure how much money the health region provides you with for pay, but since the economy isn’t what it was, it should be easier to find someone now than it would have been a year ago. As Jaz said, in all her wisdom, “we have to accept the changes that happen to our bodies like it or not. All we can do is adapt our surroundings to maintain our happiness. Being happy is vital.” Jaz, you need to write a book.

So I will be talking to my home care nurse about this next week. It will take awhile to set up, but will hopefully work out for the best.

Another thing I decided since my last post was to increase my StemEnhance shipment to two bottles a month, so I can see how I do on 4 capsules/day instead of 2. So I emailed the guy I ordered from and asked him to increase my autoship, because I didn’t see a way to change my order myself from his website. This prompted him to call me, and put me on a 3-way call with the head office to confirm. After we did that, we continued chatting for a few minutes (without the head office on the line) and I told him I have MS and figured I should try an increased dosage before I give up altogether, since I have this condition I hope to see improved, and I’m not just taking it for “overall health”. Now, understand, this man had never spoken to me before and as far as he was concerned, I’m just one of his many random online customers (he is very high up in the company and has many of those) and did not know I have MS or anything. He said, “hey, I have a friend in the company who has a daughter with MS and he has a really good story, do you want me to see if I can get him on the phone so you can hear what he has to say?” I said sure, why not.

So he calls Dennis in Spokane, makes introductions, and explains to Dennis that I have MS and would like to hear about his daughter. I explain that I’ve been taking 2 StemEnhance per day and was just increasing to 4 per day because I’m not noticing anything, and Dennis said “no, I don’t imagine you would at that low a dose…” He asked me a bit about my health and disease progression, then went into his story:

“My wife and I got involved with StemTech a few years ago and take 6 capsules/day. We are in our mid-70’s and our health was declining, so it has been great for us as we are back to being healthy, active seniors and we are very involved with our church and social activities and love to dance and travel… (etc., etc.) Our daughter lives in San Diego and when the was 47 she was diagnosed with MS. They said she’d had it for about 15 years but sometimes the diagnosis takes a long time. Anyway, when she told us she was needing to use a walker to go to the bathroom because her foot dragged so much when she walked, I insisted she give StemEnhance a try. I told her to take 6/day and let us know how she was doing after a couple months (we don’t really talk very often). So a couple months later we talked, and I asked her how she was doing on the StemEnhance, and she asked `do you want the truth, dad?` I said of course, and she said she didn’t notice ANY difference at all. I was very upset by this, so I called the company to speak with (one of the scientist/doctor types that work on the development of the product) and demanded to know why it wasn’t helping my daughter. He suggested that since the MS has been in her body for many years, she has a lot of myelin damage and would need to take a lot more StemEnhance to fix that (editor’s note - my words, because I can’t remember exactly what he said and StemTech isn’t allowed to say its products fix or cure anything, as is the way it is for all health products that aren’t FDA approved drugs blah blah blah) He said she should work her way up to taking 2 capsules EVERY TWO HOURS throughout her waking hours, and if she gets up in the middle of the night to pee, take 2 more. So I passed this on to my daughter, and since she and her husband are well off money isn’t an object so she started doing that right away. Within two months she was running on her treadmill again.”

Dennis went on to say that they know another women with MS they met at a StemTech conference who used to be in a wheelchair, but over the course of a few months taking 2 capsules every 2 hours she went from the wheelchair to a walker to a cane to not needing any assistance to walk. “I mean, she’s not running marathons by any means, but she’s getting around pretty good.” When you take 2 capsules you are releasing millions of adult stem cells into your body, “so imagine a push like that every two hours”. I mentioned that unlike his daughter, money IS an issue for me. Of course I was given the spiel about how much money I would save if I joined as a distributor and started selling the product myself, you know the drill. I made it clear I am NOT comfortable selling anything PERIOD, but especially something I can’t say really works until I have experienced the results myself. And since, after making a few calculations, I’d need to take around 7 or 8 bottles a month for 4-6 months to know if it was going to help me, (and then wean down to 3/month) that’s a hell of a lot of $$ I don’t have. Dennis simply suggested I look for help and support from friends and family (or “my church” but I don’t have one so that’s not an option). My rep told me if I signed up at the $1,000 level I’d get 24 bottles which is a great start, and of course he would help me with the “business” end of it (”I made $8,000 my first month…”) (gulp).

I hung up the phone and started to cry. I cried because, oh, wouldn’t it be amazing to improve, even a little? And what if I COULD walk without assistance again? I cried because, how many success stories do I nave to hear about from people who take these MLM health products and convince me to sink money into it, just to find out it doesn’t work like that for me? I cried because, I do believe in stem cells and how they can cure diseases, but WHY WHY WHY will it take 20 years before the current research being done will be available to treat us, if not longer??? And in the meantime, we have to shovel out thousands of dollars, searching for help? I cried because even though taking large amounts of StemEnhance is a lot cheaper than going to China, I still don’t have that kind of money.

I called my mom and told her about the phone conversation I’d just had. She told me “you have to try. Don’t even think about the cost. Talk to your dad, and if he is willing to go half with me, then sign up. Or even if he’s not. You have to try it for at least 6 months and we will help you. You can’t give up”. So, I talked to my dad, and this is the result. I should receive my shipment early in the week and I’ll certainly let you all now how it works for me. When I start noticing real, lasting improvement I will shout it from the rooftops. And if it doesn’t work for me and it’s just more money down the drain, well, at least I’m not sitting here wondering “what if?”. I truly believe in stem cell treatments, so, as long as this product really DOES increase the number of adult stem cells being released, then I am hopeful.

Speaking of “what if”, I have watched The Rocker 6 times in the past 8 days and am addicted to the soundtrack. FYI.

Friday was my 41st birthday. I didn’t really want to do anything, because 40 was the big one so I’m not interested in anything major until, like, 50. But my family would have none of that! So my brother and his girlfriend came over on Friday night and made me a yummy dinner (Duska cooked) and I made them watch The Rocker (which they loved). Then on yesterday my mom, Bob, my dad, my brother and Duska (and me) all went to Red Lobster for lunch and birthday cake/wait staff singing, followed by a drive out to Cochrane for ice cream. Later on my friend Shawna came over to hang out (and watch The Rocker), which was nice. Her and Billy are taking me out for dinner next weekend, yay!

I do have my camera back, but haven’t taken any photos yet. So here is one my bro took of my yummy cake yesterday:

I still have one piece left so I’m going to go eat it now.