March 31st, 2009
i really do NOT like the new Facebook layout, so as such I’ve been spending a little more time snooping around Twitter. I deleted John Mayer from my following list; I decided I don’t really like him. Not my kind of person. Then I deleted Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore because they kinda bore me and re-tweet too much. I think I’m growing up!
I’m really behind on my blog! I blame my lack of energy and patience due to my lack of sleep. It’s been a rough couple of weeks again. If I have a couple nights where I sleep about 4 hours in a row, I get excited and think it’s improving, and then I go right back to sleepless nights and waking up every hour and maybe getting a total of 4 hours all broken up. I know a lot of it is mental, as I go to bed all anxious, stressed and worried that I won’t sleep again. I spent Sunday researching insomnia treatment and am putting a serious plan into action this week!
Last week I had an appointment with a physiatrist (mobility specialist) at the MS Clinic. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but I thought he’d want to see me walk and offer help to get me a lift in my shoe (over the years my right leg has become longer than my left, due to my uneven gait and, he says, my pelvis dropping because of it), or an Ankle/Foot Orthotic I can actually use (when I broke my wrist and was staying at the Care Center they made me an AFO to wear, that helps my right foot lift up when I walk, but I’ve never worn it because I can’t put it on without lots of help. At the care facility physiotherapists put it on me, and I/we assumed wrongly that I’d be able to put it on one-handed when my wrist healed. HA! I even bought two pairs of the same shoes in different sizes, but even with my brother’s help we couldn’t get it on me!) But that was not the case. He listened to me talk about the issues I’ve faced the past few years and kept shaking his head, “I don’t like what I’m hearing. I don’t like this at all.” That was useful. He asked me why I’m not living in a group home with round-the-clock care (thanks for your support) and told me I’m “melancholy and depressed” and referred me to a psychiatrist I’ve already seen. Well, maybe I wouldn’t be so melancholy if I was getting proper sleep! And seeing a psychiatrist who will want to put me on more drugs isn’t going to help. Well, it might for a little while, but not long term. He also referred me back to the same physiotherapy place I went to a few years ago (where they referred me back to the MS Clinic, but when I told him that he assured me I will get long-term physio there this time). One thing he said that I appreciated and agree with is that he believes a lot of my progression isn’t actual MS progression, it’s due to the broken bones, surgeries, being laid up, getting depressed, gaining weight… all that stuff. And how with regular physio and exercise I should be able to get some mobility back. Hence the referral to the clinic in the hospital close to me. I was told the therapist there used to be at the MS Clinic, and will work well with me, and get me a lift for my shoe if she thinks it will help. So, I hope I start soon, because daily exercise is a part of my Beat Insomnia Plan, and there isn’t a lot I can do on my own. Safely.
I also had a visit from my O/T with a power wheelchair. I wish I could renovate my apartment! I need the carpet and door frames removed from this place. I can’t get a power chair if I can’t get it in and out of the rooms in here, even though I need it mostly for going out. He’s supposed to bring another one to try soon, that turns corners tighter. I also need to write a stronger “client impact statement” so the government knows the chair is going to someone who really needs it, and will use it often, “contributing to the community”. I’m not sure how my medical appointments and physio contribute to the community, but if I can get out and about without needing to arrange appointments around when my dad can take me, I will think of other things. Um… I can go back to my “volunteer work in the arts community” (helping out my musician friends again by actually getting myself out to shows). I can make a nice list of the things I’ll be able to do and how often if that’s what they want.
There is big excitement in my family right now, with the arrival of my brother’s girlfriend from Mexico. Trust me, I want to gossip, but I cannot because everyone knows about this blog. Sigh. I’ll just say they met online, it’s a very interesting story I may be able to share one day in the future, (but probably not), and she’s great. She’s actually originally from Europe and speaks 5 or 6 languages fluently. She’s VERY interesting!
Michael J. Fox was on Oprah today. What an amazing attitude he has. I want to get back to that, too! I’m not as optimistic as I once was and that is a huge detriment to my life. I know it’s inside me, and can be persuaded out with a lot of money and pizza. Failing that, I need a) sleep, and b) a swift kick in the butt.
I have LOTS of work to do now. People are starting to get their info in to me and I’m back to being over run by receipts and taxes! Which is good because I need to pay the bills. So who knows when my next update will be. I hope you read this slow!
My brother has my camera so these photos are from my dad’s Blackberry. Comfy kitties.
This picture of Pepper makes me laugh for hours.
Dad didn’t use a flash because he didn’t want to “disturb” Pita. You know, the cat that disturbs EVERYONE.