Can You Hear Me Now?

It’s happening. It’s that time of the year. Tax time! I am starting to get bombarded with work. I have to figure out a schedule and stick to it. Something that allows me all the rest time I need, fits in home care, exercises, chi machine, eating, etc. and still allows me to work a couple hours a day so I can get everything done. I hope I survive. I’m going to have to let some clients know I won’t be able to do their 2009 stuff and to start looking for a new bookkeeper. I already told one awhile back that she would have to find someone else to do her 2008 because I know how much work hers is and that I wouldn’t be able to handle it this year! This is rough. I could be rolling in dough if I was in good health! Good bookkeepers are always needed, no matter what the economy. By this time next year, I hope to have no more than a few good friends as clients, and be looking for a publisher for the book I will have completed by then! No more bookkeeping in 2011; just writing and house hunting in New Zealand.

My Frogpad keyboard arrived today but I haven’t even unwrapped it. I’ve had about 4 people come by today to see/talk to me (including my friend Shawna, who brought me my belated Christmas present!) and I’ve been getting work done in my office. So I haven’t had a chance. Plus, change scares me more than one fingered typing on a MacBook.

Pita escaped today behind the delivery guy and he closed the door. It didn’t take me long to realize she was missing, and I’m hoping the amount of time she was stuck out there HOWLING while I slowly (as fast as my legs would take me) made my way to the door to let her in taught her a lesson. In.My.Dreams.

Did I ever mention that I actually did have to get rid of Anna, one of my home care workers, because of how Pita acted towards her? I felt bad because Anna really was good to me. She even sent me a Christmas card. Her supervisors had to investigate to make sure I don’t have an “aggressive” cat (as Anna told them Pita is violent and dangerous, but what she doesn’t seem to get is that it was ONLY around her!) so they called every home care worker, nurse, social worker, P/T, O/T etc. that has ever been here and only heard glowing reviews abut what a sweet, friendly, funny cat Pita is. So I’m not blacklisted, which is good. I do wonder what it was, though, about Anna. She has her own pets and is always sent to homes where there are animals because she is so good with them. So I have no clue what Pita saw that no other animals do. I have to guess it has to do with me; maybe she sensed an accident would happen while Anna was here, I don’t know… super weird.

I made my first step towards stem cell treatment in China by filling out the inquiry form. I’ve been reading the blogs of former MS patients, and it seems like results are rather mixed. They do say it will take time, because you are just being injected with new cells, without removing your old ones, so you need to give them time to grow and replicate. I’m going to look at it as if I’m meant to go, as I take the steps to go forward with it, things will fall into place rather easily. Between now and then, I’m going to up my colloidal silver intake (for my immune system) and take lots of Ambrotose (which works from the cellular level). I also think that upon return from China anyone with new stem cells would benefit from Ambrotose even more, and I will live off the stuff at that point!

I’ve been calling around to wheelchair accessible apartments today. They are few and far between. The ones with automatic doors have no vacancies (”disabled tenants have been here 10-15 years”) or they are managed by Calgary Housing and I can’t get in unless I quit the rent subsidy program I’m in now and go on Calgary Housing’s waiting list, which could mean a year or two without any rent subsidy. Which I REALLY can’t do or I’d be homeless. It’s stupid. I’m in a Calgary Housing rent subsidy program, but instead of my apartment being subsidized, I am subsidized directly as an individual based on my income and rent. Yet Calgary Housing won’t help me get into one of their apartments because the programs are separate and you can’t be in one while waiting to get into the other. Sigh…. I think I’m stuck here, so I sure as hell better improve and not get worse. Gimme your healthy stem cells!!

Tomorrow is Wednesday, and if you’re on Facebook you know that you are to wear PINK to take a stand against bullying. I’m going to be home all day so it’s not like anyone will see my pink, or even ask me about it because I wear pink a lot anyway. But I will wear pink for that reason, and should I need to leave the house for any reason, I will put on pink socks AND pink Crocs.

Family photo my dad emailed me today, taken at my Aunt’s wedding. Year TBA. It’s too late to call anyone and ask.

You can disregard my iTunes bitching in the last entry. I bit the bullet and transferred some of my music files from my PC to my Mac and my iPod is now loaded properly. More or less. I have waaaaay more CDs I’d like to put on there! I like that I have a ton of my self-hypnosis and affirmation CDs on there too, and moved my iHome to beside my bed, replacing my old alarm clock and CD player I used to keep there, which has made for much better nights. I can easily flip to various things to help me get to sleep and they’re actually working. I usually drift off to my Louise Hay affirmations CD (which came with her Affirmations Tool Kit and is awesome) and play and re-play my “sleep better” hypnosis CD as I wake up every hour. I fall back asleep pretty quick, even though I awake again within an hour. I haven’t used sleeping pills lately, but I am using the meds my neuro prescribed which I’m sure are no better, they’re just not called “sleeping pills” so I’m telling myself they are.

I am seeing my doctor AGAIN on Friday, to hopefully review whatever the results of my blood tests are. I am going to remember, this time, to ask him about medicinal marijuana. I really think a cuppa cannibas tea before bed will help me sleep and help my stiffness/pain/discomfort. I’ve already decided I am going to do it, whether he approves or not. If I can’t get a script, I have “other” ways. My friend told me I’d be munching down on Cheetos every night. So I guess if overeating becomes a problem, I’ll have to find a cocaine dealer as well. Sigh. It never ends.

Speaking of Cocaine, I understand it’s a great weight loss tool. I’m pretty sure Hollywood is on to this. I don’t believe for one second everyone is doing no-carbs-lemon-water-maple-syrup-cayenne-pepper-Jenny-Craig blah blah. It’s coke, people. Admit it.

Last night I watched an interesting story on W5 about stem cells and MS. It prompted me to spend hours and hours researching online, checking out stem cell treatment centers and articles about people going for it, and every road leads back to that clinic in China (in terms of reputation, stories from people that have been, and the treatment process). I think I’m gonna go for it. First I need to get my passport. Then I’ll follow all the other steps, which will include major fundraising events. It’s too bad our dollar isn’t too good right now, because the cost is in US dollars. So I need to raise about $50,000 CDN. Yup, you heard that right. But I would do pretty much anything to get my life back, even to where I was at as little as 2-3 years ago. And I know a lot of people will support me and it is doable. No matter where you stand morally on the subject… they use stem cells from the umbilical cords of healthy babies and your own bone marrow, so no embryos are involved if you have a problem with that. And I’ll never understand people who do have a problem with that… they go in the GARBAGE. Garbage, or save someone? I don’t get it and never will. And don’t try to explain your opposing view in the comments because you will NEVER change my mind!

I typed this while I watched the Oscars. YAY SLUMDOG!! I predicted all the major categories (and knew Slumdog would win the little ones it was nominated for) so I really wish I had entered some contests somewhere. I thought it was a great show, Hugh Jackman was great! I think I cried through most of it. I’m sooooo easily moved!

Pita is on me and she already deleted half this entry (thankfully I save as I go) so I’m outta here!

Okay, so, Number One: according to some “leaks” surrounding the Bachelor I am waaaay off on my prediction. If the leakers are telling the truth, there is some pretty major stuff happening during the final episodes. Not the finale, but the “After The Rose” show. I hope what I’m hearing isn’t true, because I like happy endings and I honestly thought better of Jason. Especially being a single dad and all. I’m hoping the leaks were planted by ABC to get ratings but they sort of make sense… there’s even videos on You Tube about it. I started watching one but the guy bored the hell out of me and made me feel like if I actually cared enough to watch his videos then I have NO LIFE whatsoever.

Number Two: My laptop keyboard problems may be solved soon when I get a FrogPad. That looks a little confusing to learn, but I think it will be so much easier in the long run. I’ll be able to type even faster than I do on my regular desktop keyboard once I know what I am doing. I certainly can’t be any slower than I am on this laptop with keys I don’t know the meaning of.

Yesterday I opened my Photo Booth and got a black screen. I have no idea why and searching the troubleshooting forums didn’t help me. I can’t figure out anything on this damn machine! I need a Mac user friend to come over and spend some time with me, but he’s kinda busy these days. I need heeeeeelp!!! Today after a million restarts my camera works again. But I’d like to use it for more than just taking funny pictures. Oh, and I wasn’t able to transfer the songs from my PC’s iTunes to this one even though I gave it permission to, so when I synched my iPod I lost a bunch of songs. I thought your iTunes account was your iTunes account, and any music you have purchased would be accessible from YOUR ITUNES ACCOUNT. Now I don’t know what to do because some stuff is on here and some stuff is over there and you can only synch your iPod with one. You can’t just “add” a song to your iPod, you have to erase and re-synch everything. Grrrrr help!!!

My brother came over yesterday and we went to the mall. I was looking for one of those can holders you put in the fridge and every time you take a can out, another one rolls forward. Know what I mean?

Couldn’t find one. I’ve only ever seen them in the Regal catalogue, anyway. Maybe I can find one on eBay. I need it for all my cans of fruit spritzers I drink instead of pop. (Water can get a little boring).

I also went to get some blood tests the other day. It wasn’t nearly as painful as I’d thought it would be. My scooter fit in fine (the lab is in the mall tower), the staff ran a smooth operation (the crowded waiting room had me worried but it moved fast) and the nurse didn’t argue with me when I told her my ONE good vein is in my left hand above my 1st finger. In and out, very little pain. I’m hoping the results will let me know if my sleeping problems are partly caused by hormone imbalances or thyroid issues.

Anyway, my cats are feeling very neglected these days because this thing has taken over my lap. So I best go and put in some snuggling time.

So, I got me a MacBook. It is just lovely. BUT it is going to take awhile to get used to. The keys are really big and far apart, which for a one-handed typist like me is very difficult. I got pretty damn fast at my left-handed typing on my desktop; now my speed has slowed by about 350%. And this no-mouse thing? ARGH!! I know I can get a mouse, but there really isn’t anywhere to use it. This is truly a LAPtop. I’ll get used to it, and get better, but right now, I’m not so interested in writing.

So my girl Jillian went home on the Bachelor last night. That’s pretty much what I figured, and when they were making out all hot n’ heavy in the hot tub, I was thinking “his fiance (Melissa, probably) is watching this right now and is LIVID.” Hehe I think Jill is on Ellen tomorrow. Maybe she will be the next Bachelorette! I’m looking forward to the finale because apparently “what happened here was so emotional, we kept it as intimate as possible…” or whatever it is Chris said last night. This is what I think happened, and if I’m right, then I am officially psychic. I think the intimacy was needed because Jason flew in Melissa’s parents and because they don’t like the public aspect of the show, (which is why Jason never met them on the home visits) they kept it very intimate and Jason proposed with her parents there. That is my story and I’m sticking to it. Until 2 weeks from now if I’m wrong.

I just had a horrible experience tonight. I won’t go into it because it’s gross. I’ll just say this only happens to you if you’re a baby or a very old person living in a home, or you have a disease like MS. My home care worker is going to love me tomorrow.

I have to practice some copy/paste stuff. So I’m going to copy my “25 Things” note from Facebook that everyone is doing,

1. I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 1996 at the age of 28. It has been… erm… challenging, to say the least.

2. I went to New Zealand in 2001 and it is my most favourite place on earth (I have no other exotic or European places to compare it to, so…) It is my biggest dream to own a home like this one in Russell, Bay of Islands one day and be able to go to Rotorua regularly for mud baths.

3. I can’t remember the last time I was able to sleep for more than 2 hours in a row. I also don’t remember a time before I used sleeping pills to get that 2 hours. (And yes, I have tried or am trying whatever it is you are about to suggest, thanks anyway…) I’m finally going to see a sleep specialist but it’s going to take about a year to get in…

4. I had a rough time in high school, I hated it. I quit Scarlett half way through grade 11, then went to Wise Wood for a month or so before I quit, then went back to finish Grade 11, then I started Grade 12 and quit and moved to Toronto on my own for a few years. So I apologize if I don’t remember you from high school, I mostly remember the people I also went to elementary/junior high with.

5. One of the jobs I loved the most in my life was working on the production of a TV special for YTV in 1988 or 89 (about missing children). Alan Thicke was the host and I had to keep going to get him from his dressing room where he was watching his beloved LA Kings in the playoffs. I told him, “yeah, the Kings may win this round, but then they’ll be up against the Flames, and the Flames will beat them 4 games in a row, and then go on to win the cup…” and that is EXACTLY what happened.

6. I was once the “Answer” to a Q&A in TV Guide magazine. (I can’t remember the question, but I believe the answer was something like “we spoke with the Viewer Relations Coordinator at YTV and she told us…”).

7. The Polyjesters are the best band in the world, in my humble opinion.

8. I have so many friends who are amazing musicians and go out of their way to make sure I get their latest CDs and get to their shows. I’m really blessed that way!

9. I recently had to get rid of one of my home care workers because my cat HATED her. I’d never seen anything like it.

10. I have two cats, Pita and Pepper, and I loooooove them so much it hurts. They will be 3 years old in March.

11. I own every self-help, self-hypnosis, meditation, Louise Hay/Wayne Dyer/Law of Attraction book, CD and DVD around yet I still worry all the time and believe negative thoughts. I don’t know how to STOP and my friggin’ health can’t exactly improve if I don’t.

12. I smoked cigarettes, at least a pack a day, for 10 years and quit cold turkey on January 1, 1996. I haven’t had a single drag since then and I won’t, or I will start again for sure.

13. My favourite “Six degrees of separation”: When I lived in Toronto, I had a buddy named Nick McKinney. Nick’s brother is Mark McKinney from “The Kids in the Hall”. David Foley is a member of The Kids in the Hall. Dave once judged an episode of the improv comedy show “Thank God You’re Here!”. Angela Kinsey appeared on “Thank God You’re Here!” And Angela Kinsey is on THE OFFICE.

14. The Office is my favourite TV show.

15. I have loved Jim Carrey since I was 14 years old and he was about 19 or 20, through the good and the bad and even the very, very bad. I’ve never met him but somewhere around here I have a “Spank you very much” autographed photo.

16. I own stacks of books and CDs I’ve never even read or listened to and I will keep adding to it.

17. it doesn’t matter how many people are around, I am the one everyone asks for the time and “is this the train to…?”

18. I delete 99% of the email forwards sent to me without even looking at them. I used to look at them all in the early days of having an email address, 10+ years ago, but I still get a lot of the same ones. I can’t keep up and life is too short. So if I’m on your list and you don’t “get this back”, it does NOT mean you are no longer my friend or that I don’t care. I just… seriously… too many.

19. My biggest pet peeve is the sound of someone chewing. It grosses me out beyond belief. I have to mute TV commercials where people are chewing (Cheerios comes to mind) and GOOD LORD MAKE THE PEDIGREE DOG FOOD COMMERCIALS STOP. (I cant even find the ones I mean on You Tube so if you’re outside Alberta you may not know what I’m talking about). If I’m eating with you, it’s okay, because I hear my own chewing in my ears. But if you are chewing in front of me, I’m squirming inside and secretly want to stick a knife in your ear. LOVE YOU THOUGH!

20. I’m trying to figure out a way to make money that somehow involves my natural talents but doesn’t involve leaving my home or any physical activity that I can’t do. I once had a very small time business writing personalized poetry (by that I mean, I had a website and sold a few). I can’t sit here for long periods of time and my vision is wonky so accounting is getting harder. I just don’t know… AISH can’t support me and I’d really like to live outside the limits of the government’s fixed income.

21. These days, my days revolve around Home Care, self care, medical appointments, and just trying to make it through another day without needing an ambulance. I appreciate my friends and family getting me out and about more than I can say.

22. When my speech starts to slur I get freaked out because one of my natural talents is talking, and there is always the hope that one day my health will improve and I will be a public speaker who inspires others with her story. Or I’ll make a living talking, one way or another. If I lose the ability to speak I’m screwed.

23. I think I have about the best sense of humour around. I’m not saying I’m funny (although I think I can be), but I know what IS funny, that’s for damn sure. (Leave Jim Carrey out of this, okay?)

24. I think my worst habit is gossiping, or talking about other people. I mean no harm, I just “discuss”, but I wish I didn’t. I don’t, however, tell SECRETS and am very careful when you have said “don’t tell anyone, but…” I like to think I can be trusted. I’ve just got a LOT of opinions and am trying to get better at “live and let live, it’s their life” in my old age.

25. I wear Crocs. Deal with it.

You guys already know a lot of that stuff. Anyway, some of my comments touched on the idea that I should be a writer. In fact, two girls I went to Junior High school with thought I would be well on my way with that by now. I’ve always thought about it, so to be honest, that is what prompted me to get this laptop and get to work on a book or two. I have a couple ideas…

I don’t have any cat pics to upload on here yet. But I DID have a bit of fun earlier with Photo Booth. I was having a bad hair day anyway.

Oh my God, it’s been a month!! I didn’t realize it had been that long. Most days just seem to meld into the next, especially when you CAN’T GET A DECENT NIGHT’S SLEEP.

So, let’s see… first things first. The Bachelor.

When I wrote my last entry, only the first show had aired. Now he’s down to the final three! My girl Jillian is still there. Except for the fact that every other word out of her mouth is “like”, which is, like, really annoying, I like her. I don’t think she will be the “one”, but who knows. So far I have been right on the money when guessing who will go home each week, but now I’m stuck. All three of these ladies are just lovely. I have no clue who he will choose. DeAnna should be back next week, maybe it will be her? And they’re going to New Zealand, so you must watch, because that is the most beautiful place on earth. Apparently, this season ends with a HUGE bomb drop, unlike “anything we’ve seen before in Bachelor history”. Maybe that means when he is talking to the final woman and we think he’s going to propose, he tells her “I really did meet the person I want to spend the rest of my life with during this process…” then turns to the cameraman and proposes.

This past month has been busy but because I take so long between entries I just can’t write about everything. Hopefully that will change soon, because I’m getting myself a LAPTOP, and will be able to update my blog from the comfort of my chair in the living room. Sitting at this desk kills me and it takes me hours and days of coming back and forth to write an entry. Soon I will be able to do everything in comfort, and only need to be at my desk to work. Because I still need my desk area to work at. Damn receipts.

On the sleep front, I’m still trying new things. I was at the MS Clinic last week and told my neurologist about my sleep problems; he prescribed a medication that should help the stiffness and spasms in my legs in case it’s restless leg syndrome waking me up. This is a different medication than the one my regular doctor prescribed for the same thing because it is also supposed to help me sleep and should only be taken at night. The stiffness in my legs is absolutely crippling, none of these meds seem to work. I do stretches as well, but it’s just another one of those symptoms we live with. Anyway, so far my new meds combined with a sleeping pill or two are helping me get through the night. I’m using my Litebook during the day and eye masks at night. The regular use of my Chi machine along with a couple visits to my chiropractor has helped the hip pain, so that is no longer an issue when lying in bed. My doctor is referring me to a sleep specialist but says it will be about a year before I can get in. I hope the Litebook helps; they say it takes about a month to feel a difference. I have to admit the past few nights I have been sleeping better, which I’m sure is a combination of everything. I really want to get off the sleeping pills, though!

I went looking for the sleep eye masks the other day. I went to a couple pharmacies that were sold out, then tried San Francisco gifts, and they only had ones with boobs. The Body Shop only had the kind you wear over your eyes to relax in the tub. The woman there suggested I try Ardene’s, which is pretty much heaven for a 12 year old girl. I said “oh, sure, I’ll get a mask with glitter and feathers…” and sure enough, they had a huge bin of them, 5 for $10. Of course I had to get a pink one with feathers that says “Princess”. The other four are about the tamest they had, with words like “Superstar!” and bright colours and glitter. They’ll do.

The weekend of January 30/31 was unlike anything I have experienced for quite some time. On Friday, Jeremy Fisher (and again, you can’t deny that is an AWESOME song when you click that link!!) was here! And on Saturday, The Polyjesters played at the Ironwood! I am THRILLED I finally got out to see some awesome live music again; I just wish they had been spaced out a week apart because two nights in a row was too much for me and I couldn’t make it to the end on Saturday

My friend Kelsey picked me up on Friday and after a yummy dinner at the Olive Garden, we went to the venue to see Jeremy. It was a sold out show, and the venue was The Gateway at SAIT, which is pretty big. Jeremy is moving on up! After his amazing show he wandered out to talk to some fans… I rolled on up to him and when he turned to me he said “hi, Donna, how are you?”and leaned in to hug me. To which my response was something cool and casual while inside I was freaking out that he’d actually remembered me. We are Facebook friends, after all. Hehe. Yeah, he wrote on my wall a couple days later and I flipped out because he doesn’t write on walls, he just accepts friend requests and updates his status. ANYWAY, I finally got all my CDs autographed. Kelsey, the sweetie that she is, actually bought me Back Porch Spirituals that night because I didn’t have it yet. Kelsey is awesome. It was the first time I had spent any time with her outside of something Polyjester related. It was well after midnight by the time I got home.

Because I get Home Care in the mornings I’m not always able to stay in bed for as long as I want/need. And I tried to nap during the day, but no luck. So I pretty much knew I wouldn’t last the night on Saturday. My friend Kim and her husband, daughter and a friend came to get me and take me over to the Ironwood. They helped me settle in at the big section the PolyFamily had reserved for close friends I was able to hang out there with Sheldon and Jason a bit, but the room packed up pretty fast and since they knew most of the people there, they were busy mingling. When PolyDad Barry arrived he tripped over my wheelchair wheel and went FLYING SMASH BANG BOOM to the floor. I was scared shitless (because in my life, falls are a pretty big deal) but he got up with no struggle and apologized to ME for being such a klutz and Jason yelled “get that drunk guy outta here!” from across the room. Oh, to be a healthy and vibrant 60+ year old man!

Anyway, it was so good to see everyone I hadn’t seen in so long (Sander even flew in from Ottawa for the show!) and I’m definitely having dinner at the Ironwood again soon. Their new menu is even better than their last one and the food was amazing. My friend Shawna arrived during their second set, and since she had a headache and I was dead tired, her and Kim helped me out of there just as the set was ending and Shawna took me home. So I missed the encore(s) and being able to hug and say good night to everyone, but I know they understand.

You can see photos from that weekend on my Facebook page if you’re my Friend, or the public album is right here. Also, check out the boys stepping outside their “zone” and doing a little Metallica:

On Monday my friend Pam came over and we went to the mall for some lunch and shopping. I decided to buy the supplies I need to grow a bunch of cat grass… Pepper loves the stuff, and the Chia grass I got for Christmas is dead and gone. So I bought some seeds and a couple small pots and a big bag of soil. Then we passed San Francisco gifts where they had a display of battery operated puppies barking away… and I caved. It would have been like walking past suffering puppies in a puppy mill and not taking one home. Only not. Ah, it was 8 bucks, gimme a break. He doesn’t bark though… he plays music and says “hello? Hello? Hellooo?” and my cats are scared of him. Pam had taken a Reiki course the day before, so she practiced on me later and gave me a really good treatment. I have trouble ‘receiving’ those treatments though - as proven during the many Quantum Release Therapy sessions I had a couple years ago and my mom also giving me Reiki - because I have a lot of blockages. A LOT. I don’t know when the break through will happen, but I hope it is soon.

Anyway, aside from all that, my life has been its now-normal quiet self. I should have my laptop (Macbook!! When I’m going to add to my credit card debt, I do it right!) very soon and then I hope to write witty observations on a very regular basis. In fact, I plan to write a book because somehow I have to buy a house in Russell, Bay of Islands, New Zealand and hire my own caregivers and stuff. I have no clue what it will be about, but I need to do it and make a shitload of cash like a certain stay-at-home mom who woke up from a dream and wrote Twilight.

“I would like to audition for the next ‘Twilight’ movie, please”