Can You Hear Me Now?

It’s a bloody miracle:

After two months and 3 days of waiting patiently (HA!), I finally got my exercise mat platform on Thursday. My dad and brother came over in the evening and set it up. So, welcome to my new dining room! Everything fit perfectly, the cat food table and garbage just fit to the left and my recycling basket fits at the foot of the table beside the hutch (behind my big chair). My chair still goes all the way back in reclining position without hitting anything. Purrrrrfect.

On top of it is my Chi Machine, which I have been using for a few minutes/day. You have to work up to 20 minutes/day slowly, and I can see why. It’s a little harder than it looks, especially when you’re as out of shape as I am. Plus, like everything else on this planet, it’s made for skinny people who can easily fit their ankles in the end and lay back straight without any discomfort (i.e. perhaps your legs are not sticks and your thighs need a little more room so they’re not squished up against each other). But fat people don’t really exist, do they? Except in the “before” pictures on diet ads. So we don’t need to worry about bodies that come in different shapes and sizes, oh no no no.

Anyway, I’m just going to keep using it every day and hope for the best! I know it’s doing something and I can feel the “whoosh” of my chi flowing when I turn it off. I need to lie there, and then sit there, for a few minutes before I can get up again because I do feel like I’ve worked out and need to re-group. Unfortunately, I find it really hard to stretch on that table or do anything myself because I am so out of shape and can’t move my right limbs on my own. I do have another home care worker who will be doing range of motion exercises with me twice/week, starting soon I hope. Actually, I’m getting a new home care worker altogether because I hit my breaking point with Harpal yesterday. My needs and the way I need to do things have changed over the past 6 months, and she’s not changing with me. The supervisor has been here twice to go over things with her, but she still can’t/won’t do it the way she’s been told. She doesn’t understand English or basic, simple instructions and we’re always arguing. Simple things the supervisor went over with her she argues aren’t her job and won’t do them or wants to do them her way, which doesn’t work for me. I had a long talk with her supervisor yesterday and we’ve given up on trying to teach Harpal and someone new should be here this week. It’s too bad, because she was great in the beginning, when my needs were very simple and she barely had to help me. I pretty much only needed real help putting on my bra. Now I need more help and she doesn’t seem to like it. Well, neither do I, but it’s your bloody job and if you’re not going to do it right they will send me someone who will.

I’ve been keeping to a fairly steady regimen of meditating/self hypnosis for two hours/day. I mean, if Gwyneth Paltrow can work out with her personal trainer for two hours/day, 6 days/week, I can certainly meditate. I may not have the money for a trainer, but I do have the time and plenty of CDs to de-stress! No excuses, really. I’m also remembering to say affirmations as often as possible. I do have to commit to doing the personal work I need to do in order to heal… I’ve ordered the Love Yourself, Heal Your Life Workbook and an affirmations toolkit (I was ordering the Sex and the City movie, anyway, so the added items gave me free shipping and I consider it a good investment). I have a LOT of work to do on myself, and if I have to commit to it like a full-time job, I will. Just keep me away from daytime TV and I’ll be able to do it.

Lately I’ve been visualizing that Louise Hay is my long lost great Aunt and upon discovering my existence and the trouble I am in with my health, she invites me to come and live with her for 3 months and work one on one with me. Ahhhhhh, I wish!!!

I’ve got more to talk about, like chocolate, but I have to go fit in an hour of self hypnosis before my dad gets here, and then work on this “client impact statement” I have to write to tell the government why they need to give me a motorized wheelchair. Hopefully it is the last “woe is me” related thing I ever write.