Can You Hear Me Now?

I realize it’s been awhile since I’ve updated and the reason is I’m just not having the best time as of late. I’m still super stressed and frustrated about a lot of things, and having a difficult time emotionally dealing with a lot of things, so I’ve decided to go on a meditation retreat. Of course, I can’t actually go on one, so I’m setting it up so I can do it at home. I was going to wait until I received my exercise mat platform so I could include daily stretches and Chi Machine sessions, BUT, I STILL DON’T HAVE THAT DAMN TABLE (the last email from the company said delivery was planned for Aug. 29 to Sept. 5, yet I still don’t have it, have not heard anything, and they’re not responding to me yet again. For the record, never ever ever ever order anything from Sammons-Preston) so I’m just going to go ahead and get started without it. I’m about ready to have a nervous breakdown, no thanks to Sammons-Preston for the role they are playing in that, so I need to take a step back. My little daily meditations aren’t helping so I need to do something more drastic, just like the way people jump start healthy eating by doing a detox first. I need to go drastic and then maybe a little bit every day will be enough.

Of course, I work on Wednesdays, and I can’t take time off from that right now (year end was Aug. 31 so I’ve got a lot to do, plus we’re switching software programs) so the plan is to do this for the next 4 days, then take Wednesday to work and catch up on emails, then do another few days. I also need to do it now because the season premiere of The Office is Sept. 25 so I must be done before then. I’ve also got a motorized wheelchair coming on Sept. 22 to test out in my apartment, and visits planned with various Therapists and an MS Case Manager that week (a new position in the Calgary Health Region, created to help us MSers better navigate through the System). (Yes, you read that right, I mentioned The Office season premiere before the other stuff!). There is going to be a lot to deal with so I need to be prepared.

So, the next few days look like this for me:

• Home Care still has to come so I won’t be taking a TOTAL vow of silence;
• No telephone, TV, computer or internet;
• Lots of healing tea drinking and chocolate eating (more on that another day, after I’ve had more time to try it out)
• My freebie little Silva Ultra Mind mp3, 3 times/day
• Hours of self-hypnosis CDs every day
• Lots of meditation, with and without guided CDs
• Law of Attraction study time
• Louise Hay and Deepak Chopra DVDs (the only TV allowed!)
• Half an hour/day of decluttering

Oh, call me selfish or crazy or whatever, I don’t care. I really feel like I need to do this. If I could afford to travel to an Ashram in India and to Bali to see the Medicine Man, I TOTALLY would!!