Can You Hear Me Now?

I needed to post something happy to push Ms. WhineyPants further down the page.

My friend Sheldon made this video for me because he’s SO AWESOME. If you’re on Facebook you should be able to view the original here, but the only way I could post it for everyone was to play it on my monitor and film that. So it’s rather crappy quality, but it gets the point across. And that is: Sheldon is awesome, and my friends love me, and for that I am hugely grateful. The opening that was cut off said “this is a song for Donna, for all the Flight of the Conchords stuff she’s been giving me” (I gave him my DVDs months ago when I realized he’d never heard of them, because I knew him and Jason would LOVE them, and be a little jealous that they haven’t been given the opportunity to have their own show which would be even better, and have emailed him a few songs from their hilarious CDs). I recently purchased another DVD set of the series because I don’t expect I’ll ever get those ones back!!

p.s. I realized after posting this that I have another previous entry already titled “THIS Makes Me Happy”, and wouldn’t you know it, it features Jason and Sheldon. Those boys are truly happy medicine!

I’m finally getting caught up on my sleep. A visit to my doctor last week resulted in some new medication which is helping with muscle tension and spasms (I think I’ve got Restless Leg Syndrome which kept waking me up). I’ve stopped using my sleeping pills because they weren’t working anyway, and I think what may be helping the most is the “Insomnia Buster Bundle” I downloaded. I bookmarked that site many months ago because I read somewhere how great those downloads are. I’ve since downloaded and burned several recordings to CD such as this one and this one and this one and this one, and am planning to send myself on a retreat without actually leaving my home, to give myself a good week or so to do nothing but meditate, listen to these CDs, use my Chi Machine, take all my vitamins and supplements and eat healthy, because taking care of myself properly is a full-time friggin’ job!

I’m mega stressed. What about? All sorts of things. My mobility seems to worsen every day and instead of thinking positive and attracting health and well-being, I’m crying and upset and pissed off and only attracting more negativity. I can’t seem to turn it around (hence getting that “stop negative thinking” download). I’m angry because the mat platform I ordered over a month ago, that was to be here within 10 days, still isn’t here. I want to use my Chi Machine because I know how much that will help me, but I can’t without that table. The company finally responded to my several emails asking where it is, and the best they can do is apologize and tell me it will arrive August 29 - September 5. After the website and TWO customer service reps told me 10 days. I’m JUST SO MAD. I know that won’t make it come faster, but I’m JUST SO MAD. I want my fucking table and I want it LAST WEEK.

I’ve been eating well, (except for the few days at the music festival) and I’m not feeling any better or losing any weight. It’s making me a little crazy. I’ve avoided fast food and sugar and all fake sugars, and snacking. Sure, I’ve had pizza, but it’s been thin crust veggie with very little cheese (as opposed to the mile high pepperoni and cheese I used to get regularly). I haven’t been PERFECT, but I’ve been eating a hell of a lot better in the past 3 months than in all the months prior. And I’m so frustrated that my clothes are not looser and I’m not any less of a body to lug around.

A couple weekends ago I was at the Mountainview Music Festival, which was fabulous. You’d think I’d be on some sort of a high from that. But I’m not. With all the good that was around me that weekend, all the help from my mom and Bob and amazing friends, all I seem to focus on is the negative. The stupid bonehead that works at the front desk of the hotel who is SO STUPID I can’t get over it. She doesn’t know the meaning of “no stairs”. When I got the wheelchair room for the second night, she made us sit there in the lobby for half an hour while she insisted the housekeepers must eat their lunch first, in front of us, before they put the clean sheets on the bed (which would have taken all of one minute). Then she double booked the wheelchair room, and tried to kick me out. MORON. Then, of course, we have the fact that I am sitting in a wheelchair all day and can’t move myself around. I was dependant on others to push me and everyone was busy running around. I felt like such a burden. Plus? Sitting in a wheelchair all day? SUPER exhausting. And that was the weekend I started this whole not-getting-any-sleep thing so I was super tired and crabby while trying to be smiley and positive. In reality, I was so angry. Angry I couldn’t walk around. Angry I couldn’t be camping or get myself to and from my hotel whenever I wanted. Angry that I didn’t have the energy or ability to party with my friends during the evening activities at the bars (for the Trailer Park Boys, Barney Bentall, Plaid Tongued Devils) and Jason’s house for the party the last night. Angry that I couldn’t run around the grounds, pitching in to volunteer wherever I was needed. Wah, wah, wah, poor me, bitch, whine, bitch.

I actually put in an application with Accessible Housing for a wheelchair accessible apartment, and I’ve got the application forms to apply for funding to get a motorized wheelchair to use around my home. Oops, here I go again, here come the tears. Hang on….

I can’t talk about it without crying so I guess it makes sense that I can’t write about it without crying, either. It’s a very difficult thing to have to face. I am a long ways from the “acceptance” phase, and I don’t really want to go there. I’d rather have a body that works. I think I’ll save this discussion for another day. Moving on…

Remember when I mentioned that guy banging on my bedroom window at 4:00 a.m. a few weeks ago? I don’t think I have to worry about him anymore. That video also features my neighbour Richard, whom I’ve mentioned in here a few times before. He is officially moving out. The moral of this story is, “always pay your drug dealer”.

Okay, so, I need to talk about something fun and fluffy. Shawna is coming over soon, and we are going to make slushy drinks and talk about our mutual crappy weeks. I haven’t had a slushy drink in SO LONG, I am looking forward to it. Oh, and Shawna’s visit too, of course. Tee hee.

I heard from AH yesterday, he is finally back from Lebanon. I expect we may actually get together for our birthday dinner before the snow falls!

I was watching a biogrophy on Hilary Swank the other night, and learned that the year she won the Academy Award for Boys Don’t Cry, she lost her health insurance because in order to be insured through SAG, you need to earn at least $5,000 in the year, and she only made $3,000 for Boys Don’t Cry. THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS!!! Can you believe that? I admire her even more now. She probably earned at least 20 times that for The Next Karate Kid. Her acting in Boys Don’t Cry was such an amazing performance and that movie stayed with me for a long, long time.

And finally, when the Good Lovelies were here last month, Sue managed to catch Pita with her camera doing what I see her do a million times/day:

Caption This.

I missed yesterday for the same reason I almost missed today. I am SO DAMN TIRED, I am not getting any sleep, and I’m simply dragging myself around. I don’t have the energy to worry about this blog or anything else, for that matter. So I may not continue with this project or updating until I get some proper rest and sleep for more than an hour at a time!

I went looking for flax seed today to put in fruit smoothies. I found this organic stuff with DARK CHOCOLATE SLIVERS!!

Pretty, pretty, pretty Pepper.

A completely reorganized kitchen that should make life and healthier eating a bit easier… toaster oven, microwave, juicer and blender all set up on one side. The coffee/espresso machine is put away because there isn’t room for everything. I figured juicing vegetables and fruit smoothies are a little more important right now.

Thin crust spinach pizza in the oven!

I am fresh off a weekend in Carstairs, Alberta for the Mountainview Music Festival, and I’m in dire need of sleep. I wish I could say I’m so tired because I attended all the late night activities and parties with my friends, but the truth is I just haven’t been able to sleep. Sitting in a wheelchair all day is actually very tiring and I would be back at my hotel room and in bed by 10:00 pm, but sleep would not come. Even with the assistance of medication.

The festival was amazing, I just really wish I was in better health, energy and mobility so I could have enjoyed everything! I am, however, so very grateful to my friends and family that made it possible for me to be there at all!

Instead of uploading my photos into an album, I made a little video. “The Office” fans will get how this was inspired by Michael Scott.

Thanks to the amazing help of great family and friends, I will be attending (and volunteering) at the madness that is the Mountainview Music Festival all weekend, so I won’t be able to post from there. I will be, assuming I can find my camera battery charger today, taking LOADS of happy pictures to show off upon my return, however.

Until then, enjoy my super cute kitties as they play about the house today, and also check out my photo album from when the Good Lovelies were here. I never did write about that, did I! They played at the Ironwood here on July 20, and the following afternoon came to my place to spend the night. We went for coffee and a bit of a mall walk (me on my scooter, of course), then across to Safeway so they could buy groceries to make the best stir-fry I’ve ever eaten. We drank wine, hung out, I forced them to watch Walk Hard, and generally had a nice, relaxing evening. They are the sweetest gals and super fun. All three of them found room to sleep, although I’m not sure if Kerri ever actually left the computer. On Tuesday afternoon, they left to spend a couple days in Banff, while I held all their instruments and gear captive to lighten their load (and leave them no choice but to swing by again on their way to their show in Nanton on Thursday). I got my CD signed and downloaded a couple “sneak peak” tunes from their next CD. Sooooo awesome! Kerri also sings a duet with Rob Szabo on his next album (coming this fall! He’ll be in Calgary November 7!!!) which is amazing. (Rob sent me the mp3. *dies*).

Have a great weekend, but not as good as mine unless you’re at the festival, and see you Monday!!

If I was as clever as Robyn, I would write a story to go along with those pictures. But I’m not.

I do have a happy picture, but first I need to get some complaining off my chest. I’ve had a bad few days with delivery services and I need to VENT.

For starters, my mat table/platform still isn’t here. It was supposed to be here last week. In fact, one of the customer service reps, when she called to confirm my order and freight costs, told me it would be here “next week”, which was the week before last. The website said 10 days shipping when I ordered, and two different customer service people I spoke to said the same thing. So where is it? I called them late last week to ask about it, and was told “oh, that item ships in FOUR to SIX WEEKS”. Excuse me??? She didn’t care that the website and two other people told me differently. I wrote a nasty email to them last week, and since they haven’t responded, I followed it up today. I’m pissed.

One of the reasons I’m pissed, is that I can’t use my Chi Machine without that platform. The Chi Machine that finally arrived yesterday, which would have been here last week, if my friggin’ apartment buzzer worked. It has been out of order for almost two weeks. The first time UPS attempted delivery of my Chi Machine, they assumed I wasn’t home, when I was. I saw the notice on my mailbox. So the next time they attempted delivery, I saw them drive up, and went right to my buzzer to unlock the door (that part works, I just can’t hear buzzes and talk). He did not realize I was unlocking the door for him, I guess, because he left. I went to my patio doors as fast as I could and yelled “HEY, UPS GUY!!” as loud as I could and waved at him getting into his truck, but nothing. If I could run, of course, I could have gotten his attention. So I was left with another notice and rather than have them attempt delivery again with the same results, I asked them to leave it for pick-up and my dad was able to get it for me yesterday.

Of course, I asked my office when, exactly, they planned to fix the buzzers, and their answer is, as always, a resounding “we’re on it”. Sure. They said the same thing about my leaky taps and it took 2 weeks and 3 phone calls (and a zillion litres of water wasted) to get that fixed. You know what my landlord said, when I expressed my concern about the amount of water being wasted (as it wasn’t just dripping, it was full-on RUNNING)? “Oh, no, it’s not wasting water. It’s good for the pipes, it cleans them out”. Hm.

Also, on Friday, my groceries never showed up. They “deliver until 10:00 pm” so I literally watched the window all day and night for them (and for UPS/Chi Machine… argh!) and nothing. It was a long weekend, so my phone call and email was not responded to until Tuesday, with an “according to our records, they were delivered at 4:00 pm.” Uh, NO. To this day she swears she doesn’t know what happened (please… as if the driver doesn’t know if my bin is still in his van, or where he delivered it instead of me? I get the same delivery guy every week!) At least they are giving me a credit (they charge your credit card automatically every week) but that still leaves me short a few food items I wanted and can’t get any other way.

Let’s see, what else can I bitch about… oh, at 4:00 am Tuesday morning I was startled awake by a loud banging on my bedroom window (which was open a tad) and a guy yelling at me. I was pretty much scared shitless, frozen… you know, when someone is at your window, and your bed is RIGHT THERE, it feels like they are standing right next to you with nothing in between. I could tell by his voice and the outline of his ball cap that it was one of the three Jamaican dudes that live in the complex and have caused many problems for my neighbour Richard (scared him into moving out, he is looking for a new place). I tried to yell “I’m calling 9-1-1!” but all that came out was a stifled attempt at that sentence as I picked up my phone and started dialing. He mocked me with a “oooooohhhh I’m calling 9-1-1!” and kept banging, until he could hear that I was actually on the phone with the police, describing him. Then he was gone, but the police said they’d send a car out anyway, in case he was wandering around looking for a place to break into.

I did not fall back asleep without the aid of a sleeping pill, I’m not ashamed to say.

I called the office today and told them what happened, so they are aware these guys are causing problems and scaring the shit out of people. They park their vehicle(s) in the stall beside mine, and I swear I have already seen 5 different vehicles parked there this week. They’ve scared Richard into looking for another place by throwing things at his patio doors, hanging out on his patio being jerks when he is right there in the living room, and taping dirty underwear to his door with a note that said “look out, whitey”. Classy. Richard also has MS and is in need of subsidized/accessible housing, so I’m not sure how soon he will be able to move. He is working with Calgary Housing to find something. I hope it doesn’t come to that with me, that this was a one-off incident, and those guys will move along and move out on their own like the drug dealers across the hall from me did awhile back.

Ahhh, life in ‘da Hood.

And on a happy note,

Super thin crust, pineapple, green peppers, diced tomatoes and “easy on the cheese”. My new fave, a step up from “Pepperoni Lover’s”.

Shawna coming over, and bringing me Tim Horton’s,

And the arrival of my Chi Machine!

Another thing that made me super happy today, that I can’t take a picture of, is the fact that it looks like things are working out so that I can go to the Mountainview Music Festival for the entire weekend!!!