Can You Hear Me Now?

I must tell you about last Friday, a.k.a. I-Must-Have-Royalty-In-My-Blood night. It was the Polyjesters CD Release Party in their hometown of Didsbury, and I got to go. As Sheldon said a couple weeks ago, “if I have to drive in and get you myself, I will, because you HAVE to be there”. Luckily it didn’t come to that, because that guy did enough that night. He did, however, make arrangements for his girlfriend Joelle to pick me up, his parents to give me a bed for the night, and Joelle to drive me back the next day. Among other things.

I had considered taking my wheelchair, and when talking to Sheldon about seating at the complex, he said it was most likely those folding plastic chairs. So I said I’d bring my wheelchair. He said, “Oh, if it’s a chair you need, I’ll bring you a chair! Yes! I’ll bring a special chair, just for you! Then you don’t have to bring your wheelchair and can be more mobile”. I requested a La-Z-Boy, preferably of the electronic lift variety, okthx.

Joelle picked me up around 3:30 p.m. and after a stop for gas and coffee, we were on our way. I love Joelle, she’s super cool and fun to talk to. Didsbury is about an hour away from Calgary, so we got in some good boy talk. When we arrived at the Didsbury Community Centre, we were greeted with gigantic hugs and I was driven right up to the front door so I could by-pass the ice that hadn’t melted out back. (It’s been so sunny and warm, but that back area is all shade). A good friend of the band named Saunder (I’m not sure that’s how you spell it… he is Dutch and it comes from Alexander, so maybe it’s Xander?) paid an awful a lot of attention to me. I think the guys must have paid him to be my personal slave or something. (He lives in Ottawa and is married with an adult son, so it wasn’t THAT kind of attention!) He was just so helpful and took care of me. As so many others did that night, I’m still in awe of everyone.

Sheldon had yet to arrive with “My Chair”, but him and everyone else had been running their asses off all day. There was a big dinner being served before the show, African beef curry that Sheldon cooked up, and beef satay by Saunder. (If I ever get married, I’ll get Sheldon to cater my wedding, now that I know he can successfully cook and serve 100 people). The band rented the hall so they had to look after all the set up, tear down, food, liquor, etc. themselves. Lucky for them, they have very supportive and hardworking girlfriends, parents and friends! I felt pretty useless as I watched everyone else drag out stacks of chairs and set up big tables. Sheldon arrived with My Chair, and once I sat in it, I knew I would not be getting up. Literally, it was one of those low armchairs you sink right into, and I knew there was no hope. The wooden legs slid along the floor fairly easily, and Sheldon slid me right up to the front of the stage where I enjoyed watching everyone’s soundchecks. It was one of those chairs that even looks like a throne, if you know what I mean! Saunder brought me 7up and chips from Indonesia. They tasted a little too shrimp-y for me to eat many, but I could not refuse after he went through the trouble to wait on me!

The early crowd started arriving for dinner around 7:00. Sheldon moved me to the back again, so I could sit with people I knew. By this time Kim had arrived, looking fabulous as usual. She stood in line for her food and brought me a plate as well. I highly recommend curry with sliced apples and bananas. I think I mentioned this a couple entries ago, the first time I tried Sheldon’s curry. It’s sooooo good! After filling up on dinner, I got a couple strong men to help me stand up, and I was able to get to the bathroom! By the time I got back, the room was packed and the show was about to start. I’m not sure how many people were there, I don’t think anyone knows for sure, but my guess would be 250, which is pretty damn good for a local act in a small town putting on their own show!

First up was Tony Charron, a good friend of the Polyjesters, followed by Dave Taylor, another local singer/songwriter. During Tony’s set Sheldon raced me back up to the front, causing a bit of a commotion (there was some laughter and applause as he ran, pushing me in my chair, to my front row spot). I even got a “hi, Donna” from Tony onstage. Both Tony and Dave played short sets, and were really good! After that, CBC Radio got involved. They were broadcasting the show from that point on, attracted by the multi-cultural evening - a French band from Quebec played next, called Chakidor. They were absolutely brilliant. They only sang one song in English, but that was okay! Music is a universal language. They have an amazing fiddle player, and since the Polyjesters were without theirs that evening, I was wishing she knew their stuff too, so she could play with them! The Polyjesters are used to improvising without certain members when they need to, but I do miss the fiddle the most when they’re short a player.

After Chakidor’s wonderful set, the Polyjesters took to the stage. Oh, yes, and I will mention here that I was very well taken care of. Carol (PolyMom) told me she felt bad that I was up there all by myself, but I’m a listener, anyway, so it’s not like I’d be talking to anyone while the music was going. And I had so many people coming to visit me throughout the night; Barry (PolyDad) brought me drinks, Saunder made sure a second helping of his beef satay was brought to me around 11:00, and many friends popped around during and after. Being as close as I was, I managed to get a bit of video, and here are a couple of my favourites:

My photos from that night can be seen in my Public Facebook album, right here. They are all live shots because of my position for the night. If I’d had more running-around freedom (or wheeling-around, as the case would be!) I’m sure I would have some behind-the-scenes and other friends pictures too!

Following the show, clean-up had to be completed before we could leave for the night. Cut to me feeling completely useless again! Even Kim, in her high heels and no commitments to being a volunteer for the night, ran around tossing empty beer bottles into boxes and helped tidy up. There was garbage and empty bottles to go, chairs to be stacked, tables to be put away, floors to be mopped, a kitchen to be cleaned… it all took a couple of hours, and I just sat and watched. Seriously, I didn’t like that one bit. Even though Jason and Sheldon kept insisting it was their pleasure to treat me like a Queen for a night and pamper me. I WANTED TO HELP! Next time I’m bringing my wheelchair so I can at least carry a box on my lap and toss in empties as I wheel myself backwards, which is my specialty.

There would be no partying after this show, as Jason and Sheldon (I’m thinking, especially Sheldon!) had been running non stop all day, it was now 2:00 a.m., and they had to be in Calgary for a soundcheck by 1:00 p.m. on Saturday. I got my hugs and kisses then left with the PolyParents to stay at Chateau Valleau. Barry and Carol were a great help getting me inside, as there were a few steps up with no railing to face once we got there. Once safe inside and sufficiently tackled by their dog Suzie, they showed me to the spare room. Lucky for me the bed is high, so my struggles to stand up were over for the night! Not that I was going to be getting up again any time soon. I think it was about 3:30 a.m. by the time I fell asleep.

I woke up at 9:30 to the sounds of phones ringing, voices, activity in the house… so I figured I better get up too. I went into the kitchen and was greeted by a fresh pot of coffee and Carol making breakfast: pancakes, hash browns, and crispy bacon. Was this heaven? Turns out Carol didn’t even sleep the night before - “I stayed up on the couch reading. I’ll sleep later”. Non-stop, that woman is!! We had a wonderful breakfast and then I washed myself up. I tried to dress myself, but gave up when I was struggling with my pants, so I called Carol. “You’re a mom, you can help me…” of course, she was more than happy to. Pants on, bra clipped, top on. Easy as pie.

Perfect timing, because as soon as I was dressed, Sheldon, Joelle and their friend Dawn arrived. Sheldon was driving right out to Calgary, but my ride was with Joelle, and her and Dawn wanted to stop in Carstairs for some Chinese food. It hadn’t been that long since breakfast, but I did manage to sneak in a couple spicy won tons and dumplings. Oh, and the Ginger Chicken was delicious! Next time I’m going there on an empty stomach. Actually, next time I’m in Carstairs I want to try the Burger Baron, I’ve heard soooo much about it! Anyway, we had a nice lunch and good conversation. Great ladies!

I’m not sure what time I got home, probably around 2:00 or so. I’m pretty sure I spent the rest of the day lazing about.

Since then, I’ve been back to my usual life. Psychologist on Monday, work at Troy’s on Wednesdays, working at home, Facebook, TV, etc. The excitement starts here! Today I bought some Millionaire for Life tickets, so by tonight I’ll know if I’ll be getting a million dollars a year for the next 25 years. Yippeee!

“That was fun! Do you like your new blue carpet?”

It’s been awhile since I updated, but even if I did a play-by-play of the past two weeks or so, it would go something like this: sleep, work, watch TV, eat, go to the mall, cuddle kitties, sleep. Life has been very quiet lately.

The only thing worth writing about is February 8, when my friend Kim came into trown for the weekend and we headed down to the Ironwood to see The Plaid Tongued Devils. The last time I saw them was at In Klezskavania in April ‘05, a play they wrote which is AWESOME and even garnered them a spot on Jeopardy as an “answer”. Before that, I used to go see them in the mid-90’s at the Ship & Anchor Pub, so it had been many years since I’d seen them live like this! The temperature was minus 150 degrees or something, so kudos to everyone who made it out. I felt so bad for Kim, because I wanted to bring my wheelchair (having fallen enough lately, I didn’t want to take any chances) so I’m the one who gets to sit in the car right away while Kim has to stay in the freezing cold, getting my wheelchair in the trunk and stuff. I always feel bad about that, and like I’m such a hassle to get out anywhere, so I really appreciate how willing my friends are to accommodate me. Especially when it’s minus 378 degrees or whatever.

We arrived in good time and saw our friends Sheldon and Joelle right away. Damien made it out, too. It was great to see them! Sheldon is hilarious. The guy seriously makes me laugh so hard I get tears.

Funny in a slightly creepy way, no?

Anyway, the show was great, and we had a blast. Kim stayed until Sunday, but she had other people to see and things to do so I did not get to keep her for myself.

The past couple of days I actually feel like I hit a point in my anti-depressant withdrawal where I’m okay. I’ve been at 20mg for a few weeks now (and staying there for awhile) and I think my brain finally figured it out. I feel like myself again! I’m not going to lower it any more until after my busy work season; it’s too hard on me and I need my wits about me! Some people have asked why I’m going off them in the first place, and the reason is because I don’t need them, I’m only addicted to them because my brain is used to getting that Seratonin Rush every day. But brains can and will produce their own seratonin. I used Paxil to help get me out of a really rough place, but didn’t wean off shortly after. I should have, I know that now. Most people don’t need them long term. It’s just that our brains get used to it, and getting off them is so hard. I AM under medical supervision for my weaning off, no worries. In the long run, this is for the best. THEN, we tackle the sleeping pills…. sigh.

I watched Ellen yesterday, and could NOT take my eyes off Christina Aguilera’s breasts. Am I alone here?

The other day my phone line went dead. It rang at 11:00 a.m., so it was sometime after that. I was in the living room and picked up my cordless to make a call, and it beeped at me “line in use”. So I went into my office, and the light on the phone in there was lit up, with “extension in use” on the screen. Normally when my phone is off the hook, I get a “beepbeepbeepbeepbeep” thing happening. This time the line was just dead quiet. Now, this happened before, a few years ago… my line was in use, just not by me! A utility company used my phone line to transmit data. I figured they just borrow an available phone line to do what they need to do. I dunno. Anyway, my line came back on its own eventually. This time, however, several hours went by and still no phone line, so I emailed my mom at work and asked her to please call the phone company for me. I also filed a repair request online. I was told to unplug everything for 60 seconds, then plug it back in. If that didn’t work, they’d be sending out a technician the next day.

I’m not able to reach everything to unplug it, so I just left it. It wasn’t until I was going to bed that I saw the phone from my nightstand sprawled on the floor, off the hook and unplugged. CATS! Haha I didn’t even bother checking that phone earlier. But I did remember to call the phone company before I went to sleep to cancel the technician for the next day. Can you imagine. That’s like calling the printer repair company to fix your printer just for them to discover it’s not plugged in. Oh, and speaking of, I finally got a guy over to fix my printer so it works with my new computer. It needed a lot more than just to be plugged in I’m not sure what, but I was happy to pay him $63 to figure it so I could print T4s for my clients.

And speaking of repair, my blog is going to be moved over to a new server VERY SOON which means it won’t be going down anymore!! (I mean, no server is perfect, but outages will be limited to minutes and not days). The day of the move, however, I may be down for a day or so. But I can live with that if it means future glitch-free blogging

Tomorrow (Friday) night the Polyjesters are having their CD release party in their hometown of Didsbury, Alberta. I am receiving the Royal Treatment as a special guest, and am very excited!! It’s going to be a great show. They are broadcasting live over Kitchen Radio starting with the opening acts at 8:00 pm my time (7:00 EST or 10:00 EST). Tune in! It’s going to be a blast.

It took a week and a half, but my blog is back… I started one at Wordpress, but I didn’t like it. I like THIS Wordpress blog. I like being able to code my own HTML and not have it wiped out when I save it. I like being able to see what I’m posting before I publish it (for some reason, I wasn’t able to over there… it showed me a few lines at a time only). I like having FTP access and the ability to fiddle around with things the way I want them, and I mostly don’t want to re-post years of archives and photos! I still don’t know why this was down for so long, and I’m really sorry… I’m sure I lost readers over all this time that they were hitting “page can not be displayed”. Those that emailed me and my “regulars” will know it’s back up.

I’ll post a real entry tomorrow!

I’ve been meaning to update for days because I have SO much to talk about, but as each day went by the thought of writing it all out was so overwhelming that I would put it off until I had “more time” and then the days just go by and there is more to talk about and AHHHH!!! So I doubt I’ll get it all in.

First of all, my friend Melanie had been staying with me from Jan. 23 - 30. Then she took off for London, England to start a new life over there. Ahhhh, to have dual citizenship and be able to work in other countries… I would have done that for sure when I was younger and healthier! Anyway, Tuesday night was her last night here, so I suggested I take her out to the Olive Garden for dinner. Not the smartest move because the weather was unbelievably cold and everything snowy and icy… it is in my best interest to stay indoors if it gets like that. But, you know, she’s moving to England the next day, we’ve gotta do something.

Melanie was out visiting her mom during the day, so she said she’d call me when she was leaving and meet me at Olive Garden. When I had about 45 minutes to get there, I started trying to get through to a cab. It was about -30 plus the windchill, so if you can even begin to imagine how cold that is, you can imagine how hard it is to get a taxi in that weather. I finally got through and asked for one, then got my coat and boots on, and began my attempts to get out the door without Pita running out. Then my phone rang… but I didn’t know where it was! I guess Mel had used the cordless earlier and just put it down wherever… something I have learned to never do anymore because it must always be within reaching distance of me. So I had to go into my office to answer it, and it was AH, who I had tried calling earlier as well to see if he’d be able to give me a ride. I told him all was fine now, a cab was on the way, but I had to hang up because the Pita Fight for the Hall was just about to begin. As I walked out of my office, my feet didn’t pick up (I hate wearing boots, they’re so heavy… I need summer so I can go back to Crocs) and I fell. It was kind of in slow motion as I fell against my walker and down, and my right eye hit a wheel on my walker, and then it rolled away, sort of trying to take my eyelid with it. I was laying on the floor, knowing I wasn’t seriously hurt, but when I touched my eye and pulled my hand away I saw all that blood, and then worried. I couldn’t see myself and I didn’t know what I had done; maybe it was serious and I needed stitches? I was afraid to move too much. I still didn’t know where my phone was, so it was easier to crawl to my door and yell for help at my neighbour across the hall (now that the drug dealers are gone, I have a nice couple over there!) He came to the door (and he was even wearing pants this time!) and saw me laying there bleeding, and said he’d call an ambulance. While waiting for the ambulance, my cab arrived. My nice neighbour ran to the main door and apologized on my behalf to the cab driver.

Soon the paramedics arrived, and my neighbour went back inside and let this team look after me. There were three women… and they were so awesome! (Although, I have never had Paramedics that were not awesome). They helped me stand up, which I had trouble doing, and started crying again (more on my crying bursts later…GOD) They got me over to my chair and cleaned up my face. They took my blood pressure which was very high and they asked if I had hypertension. Well, maybe at that moment. When I cry I can’t breathe or talk and hyperventilate, so, yeah. I managed to get out “I’m supposed to be meeting a friend at the Olive Garden right now!” After cleaning me up, one of them said “it’s not so bad, you know… you don’t need stitches…” while another one went into my office to get my phone book, and she also found my cordless phone in there. I called the Olive Garden to leave a message for Melanie that I would not be meeting her, but then the paramedics started saying, “it’s not so bad! Put some ice on it, you can still make your dinner date!” I explained that my cab had already come and gone, and it would take forever to get another one. They looked at each other and then said “well… if you don’t tell on us… we can give you a ride”. Seriously??? So I told Mel to hang tight, I would be there. My New Friends helped me get my socks and boots back on, cleaned the rest of the dried up blood off my eyelid, helped me get my coat on and out the door without a cat following, and off we went.

Once outside, they tried to help me in the side door to the back of the ambulance, but the step that pulls down was frozen. They were trying to boost me in, when one of them said “hey, this is an illegal ride anyway, why don’t we just put her in the front?” and so I did. I rode to the Olive Garden in the front seat of an ambulance. Then all three of them helped me out, and walked me inside to make sure I didn’t fall again.

Day 2. It was worse by Day 3, but it seems to be looking better now

So anyway, Melanie and I had a lovely dinner. Breadsticks, salad, pasta, red wine, ice pack for my eye, singing the theme song from “Golden Girls”, expressing concern about how we will get home since it’s so hard to get a cab.

After paying the bill we went to the front entrance to enquire about a cab. The bartender could not get through. We borrowed his cell phone for a bit, but could not get through. Mel ran outside a couple times to see if she could flag one down, but no luck, and she was getting frostbite. The hostess asked “where do you live?” and I said “so close! Just beside the mall, but I can’t walk that far!” and she said “…maybe I could give you a ride?” Mel and I looked at her, and then her boss, and begged “could she??” He couldn’t really think of a reason why not, since there were two hostesses on, and the restaurant was very quiet with no one but US being stupid enough to venture out in that weather.

So, off we went with the sweet, wee little blonde hostess with the cute accent from Bulgaria. Walking out to her car, I slowly and carefully stepped off the curb, but managed to fall anyway. ARGH! It was too icy to stablize my walker, and my legs were already jell-o from my earlier fall, and it was clear we would need help. So Wee Hostess ran inside to get her boss, and then we finally got me up and safely into the car and my walker in the trunk. SUCH a production.

Wee Hostess refused to take any money from us, but when we pulled up to my apartment and both her and Mel got out to get my walker, I shoved a $20 bill into her plastic thingy in the front that holds all the driver’s junk thingy. I mean, come ON! She was going way above and beyond the Call of Olive Garden Hostess Duty.

Finally, I was inside, warm, safe, in my chair. Melanie made me a hot chocolate and then took off to meet a friend for a few drinks at a nearby pub. Her last night, and all… freezing or not, she wasn’t going to sit around!

So that was Tuesday night. Melanie left Wednesday afternoon, and arrived safely in London. I was so sore from the two falls the night before that I don’t think I really moved much on Wednesday or Thursday. Thursday night my mom and Bob picked me up to go to the Chiropractor, and I don’t think I’ve ever needed a treatment so bad! My right shoulder is in such bad shape that it has resorted to stabbing pain in my upper right chest area every time I breathe. We came back to my place after, ordered Chinese food, and Bob did a whole bunch of things around here. Such as remove that walker carrier from the back of my scooter and hook up my new DVD player because I broke the other one when I hit my TV a couple weeks ago, with the walker carrier on the back of my scooter. Those cheap DVD players don’t respond well to falling to the floor. So now I am on DVD Player #3 and hoping for the best.

As mentioned previously, I have been weaning off my anti-depressants. Because they come in 20mg tablets and I can only split them in half, I have had to wean off in 10mg increments. I was at 40mg, then would go 30-40-30-40 alternating days for a couple weeks, then to 30mg for a couple weeks, and so on. A couple weeks ago I stopped my 20-10-20-10 alternating days and went straight to just 10mg/day. Holy CRAP. I have never cried so much in my life as I have the past two weeks. Every little thing and nothing at all could set me off. The entire process of weaning down has not been fun, but this was the worst. I had even been thinking about suicide for real… just wanting the crying to end, the feeling so shitty. I haven’t been sleeping, even if I took up to 3 sleeping pills. I don’t like the person I have been and my attitude has sucked. So yesterday I took 20mg again, and ZING!! Whole new person. Withdrawal is HARD, people. If you ever need anti-depressants to get you out of a dark place, by all means take them if you need to, but then wean off them right away when you feel better. Do not get caught up into taking them for years, to the point where it is hard, if not impossible, to stop. I went to my pharmacy today to see about getting my pills sliced up smaller, or if there was a smaller dose so I could cut down by 5mg instead of 10. The pharmacist totally sympathized with me… she said she tried weaning off her SSRI and just wasn’t able to. She still takes it because she can’t get off it. She told me Paxil does come in 10mg tablets that I can then snap in half for my 5 mg, so she would refill my prescription with those. Then she punched something into the computer and frowned… “your insurance doesn’t cover the 10mg size”. HOW STUPID IS THAT??? But being the sweetheart she was, she refilled my prescription with 20mg tablets, and cut each and every one into 4 pieces for me. So hopefully I can go to 15-20-15-20 for awhile then 15 instead of dropping right to 10. God, I hope it works. Withdrawal sucks!!

So, to sum up this past week: Paramedics, Hostess, Pharmacisit, Melanie, My mom and Bob: Divine Grace is everywhere.

I watched Sicko on Friday night (and again last night, and all the special features). I cried and cried and cried and cried and got so mad and cried some more. And I really want to move to France. I may bitch about our health care system here (it really is “sick care”, not preventative as in other countries, and Big Pharma still rules in the end), but at least we don’t have to pay for our doctor visits and necessary treatments and surgeries. I can only imagine how many times I would have filed for bankruptcy in the past 6 years alone!

STOP clawing at mom’s chair!

I seriously cannot take a picture of Pepper looking at the camera without the result being glowing eyes. Space Kitty!