Can You Hear Me Now?

I know, I know, my blog was down for days. So, I have a lot to babble about, even though I haven’t done anything exciting, like go on a road trip with a band.

I’m hoping our major heat wave is over! The weather is great today and it looks that way for the next few days, anyway. Last weekend I escaped to my mom’s in Strathmore, where there is an air conditioner in the office/spare room. I sat in her awesome electronic lift La-Z-Boy and read for two days. It was wonderful.

Speaking of reading, a couple nights ago I finished She’s Come Undone by Wally Lamb. Throughout the entire book I was mostly laughing out loud at Delores’ smart ass remarks. Then, I reached the end, read the last sentence, closed the book, and started to BAWL. I cried and cried and hugged the book, hugged Delores. I will never, ever forget Delores Price.

Reason why my cats are the cutest and smartest cats on earth #2,176

You know that toy I buy for them all the time, because they keep ripping the red fuzzy ball off, and the red fuzzy ball ends up ripped to shreds all over my apartment including my bed, but they love it so much I get them a new one? Yeah, so, the most recent one has lasted the longest, finally reaching its inevitable demise sometime Thursday night.

I got up yesterday morning and found the red fuzzy ball, almost completely intact, on the floor in the hallway. I snatched it up before certain felines noticed and tossed it into the bathroom garbage bin. The bathroom garbage bin that is nicely hidden beside the toilet, has a lid, and has never been tampered with by the cats. They would never know!

Later that evening, I came out of my office to find red fuzzies all over the living room carpet. “What the…?” I wondered. I followed the trail of red fuzz up the hall, and into the bathroom. Where the lid to the garbage can had been pushed in, and various tissues and handi-wipes had also been pulled out.

Unbelievable, those two are.

I went for my Quantum Release session yesterday, and have decided to cut back to about once/month. I don’t want to quit altogether, because I know it is helping me, but I can’t afford weekly sessions. I could really see Kevin’s frustration yesterday… he was so quiet after the session and seemed so disappointed. I think he usually sees the results we have gotten in the past few months a LOT faster with other people, like maybe after a few sessions. I am, in every way possible, stubborn. Even when it comes to healing and letting go of stuff. Emotionally, I am far better off than I was before I started. Physically, very little has changed (but there have been some small improvements). Certainly not what Kevin was hoping for, and I can see the frustration in his eyes. He even said there is no way of knowing if the QRT is helping the physical stuff, or if it’s just the up and down nature of the disease itself. He said my mind and body need to meet up and work together, and it’s just not happening. Personally, I think it will, in time. I’m so much happier with the person I feel like on the inside, so I do believe that will affect my outsides over time, as well.

My eBay clothing purchases are still trickling in. Partly because I continued to order things, and partly because receiving mail from the US can often take forever. I really want my In Cold Blood book… the DVD (original 1967 movie) arrived in my mailbox yesterday from Cinemail, but I want to finish the book before I watch the movie! Anyway, I love the clothes I’ve been getting, although some of them have been too small (my own fault for not checking measurements properly, and gaining weight this past year) and some are a bit big, too. The big ones I can still wear, but the shoulders fall down and show my bra straps. So, it’s a good thing I bought new bras too, because if you’re going to ‘accidently’ show your straps, they best be new and pretty. Today, I decided to wear one of these new bras. It was a real struggle to get it on… the size is bigger than some of my other bras, but I guess being new, it hasn’t stretched out at all, plus, every brand is different. So it took me, I swear, half an hour to get the clasps done up in the front and then turn the bra around on me so the clasps were in the back. By that point, I was pretty worn out. I could tell the straps needed to be adjusted and were a bit tight, but I wasn’t able to do it with the bra on. And I wasn’t about to take it off and do that all over again. So, I struggled to get my arms through the straps and get them up on my shoulders and then FINALLY I was wearing the bra. And it looked damn good! Fits really well, once it’s actually ON. Now, I needed the straps adjusted. I called the rental office, because Michelle over there knows me, but she wasn’t in. So I hopped on my scooter and went to the mall, (well, I put clothes on first) and rode into La Senza. I figured, they sell bras and lingerie, they are used to fiddling with women’s bras. I asked a sales clerk to assist me, and she did without question. I then decided to buy a night shirt that was on sale (that will probably never fit me) because I felt guilty going in there asking for that kind of help, and not buying anything. Then, just to add some icing to the cake, on my way out my scooter latched on to, and pulled down to the floor, a large rack of silky robes.

Oh, and dare I mention, that when struggling to put on a bra, in my bedroom and on my bed, certain things come out of my mouth such as groaning, sighing, “aaauuuuggggghhhhh”, “come ON!”, “you’re ALMOST THERE!” and “Dear GOD!”.

Next week I will be working AT the Pub, for the first time in months. I’ve been doing their work from home lately, because my walking was so bad that I didn’t trust myself at their place, with the obstacle course out back and the stairs up to the office. But, I have improved that much at least, that I feel safe about going there and using my cane out back and up the stairs. I’m almost to the point where I should be able to just take my cane when I go out (where limited walking is involved, i.e. to restaurants and stuff) although I’m not quite there… I think it’s more fear, than anything. My walker has become a part of me and I feel so safe and balanced with it.

I can’t remember what else I was going to talk about. So, I’ll spare you the babble and just put up cat pics.

Pita is so DAMN CUTE!!

Pita Paws

Eeeeeeeee!!

Ahhhhhh….. what a life.

Pepper likes to hang out on top of the kitchen cupboards.

Pepper always stands up like that when I bring the food over. So cute!!

Pepper Paws