Can You Hear Me Now?

I’m getting a little Croc crazy on eBay. I’ve been going through phases… clothes, then health related things, now shoes. On a positive note, (well, to me finding Crocs on eBay is positive, just not for my wallet) I’ve got 8 items up for sale myself, now. 3 pairs of shoes and the rest are clothes I never wear. I’ll be adding more soon too… a couple cheap purses and more clothes. So far I have received ONE bid on an outfit! Woo hoo! I can make back some of what I’ve spent. I am officially an eBay Addict.

Crocs are cheaper there than buying them in stores or at crocs.com, and they have the styles I can’t find in stores here. I’m getting all of these:

Cleo - black/charcoal

Patra - orange/white

Prima - cotton candy

Mary-Jane - black

Alice - chocolate

Shush, do NOT lecture me. I think I’ll have Lisa beat in the Crocs department, now? That makes… um… 9 pairs. 4 of the ugly normal style and ALL THESE NEW CUTE ONES!!

Oh, there is one more pair I have bid on that ends Wednesday, but I’m almost outbid on them and I won’t bid again. They’re the black Cleo style with a lavendar bottom, and I bid on them before I found the all black ones which I’d rather have. At this moment I am tied for highest bid, so I’m sure by tomorrow someone else will bid higher. Crocs are in demand there. BUT, if I do end up having to buy them… ohhhh, well. I will just have to buy some lavendar tops. Heh (My mom just fainted). I also wouldn’t have bid on the Mary Janes (BIG bidding war! But I waited until there was 20 seconds left, let her think she won, then bid at the last second and got them. HA!) if I’d even known the Alice style existed. But I didn’t see the Alice ones in black in my size anyway, so I will justify the purchase of chocolate brown. How CUTE are those?

Maybe I’ll polish up and sell the other Crocs I have because they’re butt ugly (except the pink ones!)… if these ones are as comfortable!

I’ve bought a few more things from eBay, but not clothes. (I think I have enough). I decided to buy a few health-related items to help me with those goals. The first thing I ordered, after seeing Suzanne Somers on a repeat of Ellen recently, was a Thighmaster. Why not? It’s one of the best selling pieces of exercise equipment ever! And it’s something I can do to strengthen muscles in my legs and arms while lying in bed or sitting back in my recliner watching TV. It is also too small to sit in the corner of my bedroom and act as a clothes rack, so that is a plus.

Then I purchased a Tai Chi DVD for Seniors. My understanding is that the seniors level is one people with MS can do if they can stand at all. I’d love to get into yoga and pilates one day, but even the beginners DVDs are way too hard for me. So I’ll try this and my Gentle Fitness DVD and COMMIT to this DAILY.

Then I bought Season Two of The Office. I won it for about half the price it is on Amazon! Yay! Laughter is, after all, the best medicine. And one of my favourite episodes of all time, The Injury, is in season two.

And finally, the big one… an ion cleanse machine. Ever since that one and only ion cleanse session I went to, I have wanted one. The machine that woman had is about $3,000 US. I’m not really sure what the difference is between these expensive models and the one I bought; I figure the expensive ones can handle more sessions/day for a business, whereas mine will be personal? Other than that, I’m not so sure. I bought mine for about $450 CDN with shipping (thanks, Visa) and this is what I’m getting. It sounds good to me, and the seller feedback is great, so, I’m happy. If I had gone back to that woman for a 10 session package, it would have paid for this one. And I never went back because she is so far away from me, and I knew I was going to end up with my own machine soon anyway, it’s on my “vision board”. I can’t wait to get it! (And the seller is kind enough to mark it as a “gift” so I won’t have to pay customs!)

So… I’m going to use my Thighmaster to strengthen some muscles; Tai Chi and gentle movements to increase my balance, strength and “chi”; laughter for fun and all the goodness that brings; ion cleanses to detoxify and give me energy, and whatever the “chi” belt does that comes with it; and still go to the odd Quantum Release session. That’s my “plan”. As usual, it’s the regular exercise I have a problem sticking with, but I must, I must, I must!!!

Hopefully regular ion cleanses will get me off my sleeping and anti-depressant meds eventually!! I’ve been trying to cut back on Paxil again on my own, but it just doesn’t work. I’m at 40mg/day, so I was doing 40-20-40-20 for a few days, and then last night I struggled like mad to get my bra off and then once I finally did, I threw the FUCKING BRA across the room, fell onto my bed and bawled like a baby. Yeah. I think I need to stay at 40mg for the time being. Although, you know, every couple weeks I think I should be allowed a 5 minute pity party to cry and get it out, and then just get on with it. I mean, sometimes it just sucks, you know? It can be very frustrating when you can’t do a simple task, so I shouldn’t think it isn’t normal behaviour to react like that once in awhile. Yeah. Okay, glad I got that sorted.

It’s amazing, the things you can find when you go through everything and completely re-organize your office. Things like, CDs you’d given up on ever finding since you were in the hospital the year before… your brand new, unwrapped Madonna and Johnny Cash CDs and your favourite Paul Anka CD, for instance. Has that ever happened to you? Truly wonderful.

I’m still working on my office, but I found those CDs when I was looking for all my software to load onto my new computer. My brand new, unwrapped Mika CD was in there too!! And I found a tax receipt I have to fax to the government for a client. ‘Whew.

My mom was here this past weekend. We weren’t as productive as we were the time before, when we cleaned out my closets. But we did manage to get some shopping in. My mom recently found the Cotton Ginny gift card I gave her for Mother’s Day in 2006 that she thought she may have accidently thrown out (wonder where I get it from?) and bought some nice tops. I bought a skirt… because I NEED MORE CLOTHES OH MY GOD.

Yesterday I worked at the Pub. That is getting harder and harder to do… not just the stairs, although I’m not a fan of those stairs and they’re REALLY not appreciated when I have to pee, but the entire place isn’t exactly accessible for me. Walking from the inside of the pub through the edge of the kitchen out the back door to the bottom of the stairs outside… is an obstacle course of small, cluttered spaces and uneven ground. I had a fall in the kitchen yesterday. Didn’t hurt myself at all, it’s just annoying, and not a safe place for me. The back door is also close to the gas stove - can’t you just see the day I land on THAT. Reach my hand out as an auto-reaction to break my fall and place it right on the fire. Uhhhh huh. I’ve been trying to do most of their work from home, but I DO need to show up there once in awhile. I only stay for a short time, organize stuff and file, eat my free lunch then bring work home. The Pub is for sale and it looks like it may be sold pretty quick here… at which point I won’t do the books anymore. It will be hard to let go of it after 7 years, but I don’t even want to think about trekking back there in the winter. Plus, I do twice as much work for that place for half the money of any other client. That’s because a) I love that place; b) I love restaurant accounting; c) they treat me well and give me free coffee, food, and a promo account for drinks and stuff; d) I see their cash flow and it’s not great so I feel guilty taking more, and e) I’ve known both sets of the owners I’ve worked for a VERY long time, and it’s always been “in the family” so to speak. The new owners (should this deal go through) are not a part of that “family”, so it’s time to say goodbye. And replace them with a client that will pay me twice as much!

A couple weeks ago my DVD player jammed. I put in a DVD and it took forever to load, and then it said “wrong disc”. I couldn’t even get the DVD out, after many tries and restarting the player, etc. etc. Eventually the tray opened (after… like… a week) and I tried a couple other discs, even a DVD cleaner disc, but the “wrong disc” error message keeps popping up and then the DVD is jammed. Has anyone had this problem? Is my DVD player toast? My mom and Bob have lent me their extra cheapie one they never use for the time being. I will finally be able to watch In Cold Blood since I finished the book a couple weeks ago. One of these days I’ll get a new DVD player. Visa raised my limit another $2,500 but I am NOT taking that as a license to spend. I do, however, marvel at the good timing as I’m off to Toronto and Montreal in a few weeks!

I’ve kind of been slack with my 101 list lately. The new computer one got crossed off, as luck would have it, with no work required from me! I am currently taking all of my vitamins and supplements daily and plan to do that until I go away, which will cross of #11. One thing I’m happy about, is #91, where I wrote a letter to a newspaper in response to this article back in June. I just noticed the other day that they published my letter (and I know they received hundreds, so I’m pleased!) It’s the last letter on this page.

See, I need to get my body acceptance/fat politics blog off the ground to talk about stuff like that. Yes. One of these days.

Self-portrait with Pepper

Pita is so gorgeous in this picture!

Pepper is the Shelf Cat.

Grab a coffee! As previously warned, it’s a long one!

Topics for today:

1. Mountainview Music Festival
2. Hangin’ with Michelle
3. Lynda, my Childhood BFF
4. New Computer
5. Weight Loss Industry

1. Mountainview Music Festival

My friend Jay and his brother Marc picked me up around 3:00 to head out to Carstairs, about 45 minutes North of Calgary. Last year, this festival was a back yard party at Jason’s house. This year, it has grown into a big festival that all the surrounding towns are wanting to take place in their area next year! I was blown away by the size, and the number of people! (Probably around 850 - 1000?) The Polyjesters, their parents and a ton of volunteers had worked ’round the clock to get this thing off the ground. And was it ever worth it!! Rather than me go on and on about it, you can click these links and check out some great photos:

PDF file - Didsbury Review

PDF File - Didsbury Review pg. 2

Poster 1

Poster 2

Most of my day was spent hanging about the “backstage” area (where the beer was free hehe) and chatting with people while taking in the great live music. My friend Kim and her hubby were volunteers and had their motor home parked there, so I spent some time in there where Kim fed me lunch and gave me coffee. Woo hoo! I have awesome friends.

It was a beautiful day

Sponsorship is a very good thing.

One of the fun highlights of the Festival was the appearance by Randy and Mr. Lahey (Patrick Roach and John Dunsworth) from the Trailer Park Boys. I had to laugh because my friend Kim was chosen to drive them to their hotel the night before from a show they did in another town, and pick them up from the hotel and bring them to the Festival. The TPB designated driver (and she doesn’t even watch the show).

Mr. Lahey chats backstage

Mr. Lahey dances with a couple celebrating their anniversary

Randy is served a LARGE cheeseburger made special, just for him. His character on the show was once a male prostitute to fund his cheeseburger habit, FYI.

Read the rest of this entry �

Seriously, I have to update more often so I don’t find myself in this position where I have soooooooo much to talk about, it takes me three friggin’ days to complete the entry and upload all the photos and video and stuff. I’ve been working on an entry forEVER it seems, and it’s still not ready, because I need to add all the linkage in the body and upload the first batch of photos and unload the second batch of photos off my camera and blah blah blah.

It’s coming, and it’s long. Heh.

Not to mention that almost every time I go to work on an entry, the server for my blog is down.

And by the way, thanks so much to the Donna who made that comment at Blog Interview… we’ve never *met* and I wasn’t aware of you as a reader (like many other lurkers, I’m sure) and I really appreciated your comment!! That was so nice. Made my day, thanks

I made an outline for today’s entry. You know, to keep it neat and orderly, and so you can skip certain sections if you don’t want to hear about it.

Today’s Outline:

1. eBay
2. Home Care Bitching
3. Menstrual Cycle (see? Now men can skip that part. Easy peasy)
4. Blog Interview
5. Quantum Release Stuff
6. Worst Thing That Could Ever Happen, Ever
7. Weather

1. eBay

So far I have been nothing but pleased with my eBay experience. Except for how long it takes for items to ship to Canada, I haven’t had a complaint. Until yesterday. I received an order that was supposed to be a pair of casual Capri pants. When I opened the parcel, they were obviously shorts, and a grey fleece material at that. Way beyond “casual”, these were like Wal-Mart cheap grey shorts that would be worth about $5. I was surprised that the sale page had referred to them as Capris! Even the packaging (new) clearly stated “shorts”. Every time I receive an item I head straight to the feedback page and give feedback, which has always been positive. This time I chose “negative” and wrote “these are shorts, not Capris; not what I thought I was getting” and shortly after that I received an email from the seller BLASTING me because I was her FIRST negative feedback, and how dare I, and “I hope you’re happy with yourself!” and that she was going to report me to eBay. Hmm. Report me for what, exactly?? Anyway, I wrote her back and told her if she refunded me then I would withdraw the feedback, which she did. So her perfect score is back. I wanted to ask her if that is how she kept a perfect score… by threatening her customers? Heh. I know now that I should have contacted her about it first, before leaving feedback, but I was just so shocked, it was my automatic reaction.

I also received a (cheap) necklace that was broken, but they refunded me no problem, and the two tops I got from this store are SO GORGEOUS I certainly can’t be upset about that. I will order from them again, for sure - I highly recommend Hollywood Diva!! (For Plus sized gals).

2. Home Care Bitching

I know I said awhile back that I wasn’t going to talk about needing Home Care or the negative aspects of my MS. Well I lied. I just had an issue with my Home Care worker this week and want to bitch about her! I receive help on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. This past Monday was a holiday in Canada, not a stat., but a long weekend for most people, nonetheless. People who receive less than 7 days/week home care do not always get help on a holiday, even if it’s their “regular” day. So I wasn’t sure if she would be coming on Monday or not. But she called me at 8:30 a.m. (and woke me up) to tell me she would be here at 10:30. (Whyyyy call me so early, then??) Normally my help is supposed to come at 9-9:30 am. but I’m not picky if I’m going to be home that day, anyway. So… 10:30 came and went, and no Home Care. She never showed up and never called.

On Wednesday, I had to work at a client’s and Access was picking me up at 10:40 (I always make M-W-F workdays start later to give home care time). By 9:30 I figured if she wasn’t coming again, I better get myself ready. So I did, and she called me at 10:15 to say she’d be here within half an hour. I said “I’ll be gone by then,” and mentioned my time is supposed to be 9-9:30, which she knows, she has been coming here for weeks and knows that I often work Wednesdays. Anyway, she said she thought I’d be “sleeping”. I asked her about not showing up on Monday, and she said “after I called you I checked my schedule and noticed you weren’t on it, after all.” I asked her why she didn’t call me back then, and again she said that I wasn’t on her schedule, and I argued that she had called and SAID she was coming, and if she then realized I wasn’t on her schedule, how am I supposed to know that?? Grrrr. I called my Home Care nurse and requested that the woman I get on Fridays be my M-W-F helper if possible, because even though she barely understands English, at least she is reliable, plus she tidies up the bathroom after we’re done (which they are all supposed to do, but the other one never does) and does a little more to help me. I’m not sure if their schedules have been changed or not… I may not get what I want, but Harpal (my Friday lady) told me she would like to come all the time, if they ask her. “I like you, and I like your cats”. Heh

3. Menstrual Cycle (Move along, men).

I am every 28 days like CLOCKWORK. I literally know the exact day my period is going to start, and it’s only ever been off by a matter of hours. Well, it came a week early last time… it was supposed to be August 4, but it started July 28. I’m thinking the heat wave may have messed with my hormones or something, since it messes with MS. So, that screws up everything. Because now my next one will be August 24 and the one after that will be around September 21 and I will be in MONTREAL!!! Argh. Fingers crossed that it is late, okay??

4. Blog Interview

I forgot to post about this before. I was interviewed by this blog website thingy. You can read my interview and rate my blog (thumbs up, please!) right here. Oh, and the 3 top rated blogs in August win a few dollars, and you can vote once/day, so I am asking you, my dear readers, to support me and vote away!

Also, they are giving away prizes every day to a random comment contributor: “The more comments you make per day the more likely you are to be chosen. Ask your readers to vote for your blog interview and make at least one comment…maybe they’ll win something! Check back daily to see the previous day’s prize.”

5. Quantum Release Stuff

I had an epiphany! I was thinking about a session I had a few weeks ago, which was the best one ever, and I think I understand what it was all about and why I have been feeling so great. During that session, Kevin and I talked quite a bit, because my energy was “going nuts” and he had questions for me during it. (Usually we are very quiet, and I just lay there and relax with my eyes closed). First, a little “life background”… I think when I was 6, 7, 8 years old, was the happiest time of my life. I had a great childhood, and at that time, we lived in a house on a street in Winnipeg where there were lots of other kids. All I remember when I think back to that time, are the summers. The summers where all us kids played outside on the street (not much traffic at all, very nice residential neighbourhood) and in our yards; tag, hopscotch, hide and seek, etc. My best, best, best friend was Lynda, who lived next door. Her and I were inseperable and always upside down, doing cartwheels and handstands, playing on the swing set in my yard and the in sandbox. That was a very happy time for me and my brother; it was before my mom hurt her back, before we moved to Calgary, before I was old enough to want to have a mind of my own and my dad started his negative and controling behaviour, before my first diet (that was age 10, and it lead to a cycle that has obviously been VERY successful *cough cough*), before body/self image and self-esteem problems, etc. etc. etc. I could go on and on.

So… during that session, Kevin asked me where my family went on vacations when I was a kid. I said we didn’t really take big vacations; we did a lot of camping; we would go away for the weekend once in awhile and stay in a nice hotel with a pool/waterslide; we did go out to Alberta (Banff) when I was really little but I don’t remember that. Kevin mentioned that he was “seeing all these kids playing together, sand but no beach, stuff like that…” I said “oh, that was just our street and our house! We had a sandbox. We were always playing outside with the other kids.” He then said “I see a Lynda… I don’t know who she is to you, but I’m getting her energy” and I said “that was my best friend back then!”

Since that session, I have been feeling better and better emotionally; I just feel like I have no baggage or bad memories inside me. I feel so GOOD and happy inside. And it hit me… maybe that’s what happened… he brought my energy back to a time when I was happiest in my life! Pre All-the-shit-that-has-happened-since-then. That… is cool. And explains a lot.

6. Worst Thing That Could Ever Happen, Ever

I broke the carafe from my espresso maker. I wish I could blame a cat, but I cannot. It broke in the sink because of MY carelessness.

7. Weather

Okay, so the heat wave(s) have passed, and we’re “cold” now. As in, some rain and clouds. Big DEAL!! It’s not SO bad, and I totally prefer this Spring-like weather to being in the 30’s. What I don’t get, is all the same people who were whining about it being too hot, are now whining about it being too cold. Gimme a break! Is there no pleasing you? “I’m tired of this cold weather”. Oh, please. Tomorrow is +19°C and sunny, which I think is perfect. And I’ll be outside at the Mountainview Music Festival, so YAY!! More on that, next entry

I know, I know, my blog was down for days. So, I have a lot to babble about, even though I haven’t done anything exciting, like go on a road trip with a band.

I’m hoping our major heat wave is over! The weather is great today and it looks that way for the next few days, anyway. Last weekend I escaped to my mom’s in Strathmore, where there is an air conditioner in the office/spare room. I sat in her awesome electronic lift La-Z-Boy and read for two days. It was wonderful.

Speaking of reading, a couple nights ago I finished She’s Come Undone by Wally Lamb. Throughout the entire book I was mostly laughing out loud at Delores’ smart ass remarks. Then, I reached the end, read the last sentence, closed the book, and started to BAWL. I cried and cried and hugged the book, hugged Delores. I will never, ever forget Delores Price.

Reason why my cats are the cutest and smartest cats on earth #2,176

You know that toy I buy for them all the time, because they keep ripping the red fuzzy ball off, and the red fuzzy ball ends up ripped to shreds all over my apartment including my bed, but they love it so much I get them a new one? Yeah, so, the most recent one has lasted the longest, finally reaching its inevitable demise sometime Thursday night.

I got up yesterday morning and found the red fuzzy ball, almost completely intact, on the floor in the hallway. I snatched it up before certain felines noticed and tossed it into the bathroom garbage bin. The bathroom garbage bin that is nicely hidden beside the toilet, has a lid, and has never been tampered with by the cats. They would never know!

Later that evening, I came out of my office to find red fuzzies all over the living room carpet. “What the…?” I wondered. I followed the trail of red fuzz up the hall, and into the bathroom. Where the lid to the garbage can had been pushed in, and various tissues and handi-wipes had also been pulled out.

Unbelievable, those two are.

I went for my Quantum Release session yesterday, and have decided to cut back to about once/month. I don’t want to quit altogether, because I know it is helping me, but I can’t afford weekly sessions. I could really see Kevin’s frustration yesterday… he was so quiet after the session and seemed so disappointed. I think he usually sees the results we have gotten in the past few months a LOT faster with other people, like maybe after a few sessions. I am, in every way possible, stubborn. Even when it comes to healing and letting go of stuff. Emotionally, I am far better off than I was before I started. Physically, very little has changed (but there have been some small improvements). Certainly not what Kevin was hoping for, and I can see the frustration in his eyes. He even said there is no way of knowing if the QRT is helping the physical stuff, or if it’s just the up and down nature of the disease itself. He said my mind and body need to meet up and work together, and it’s just not happening. Personally, I think it will, in time. I’m so much happier with the person I feel like on the inside, so I do believe that will affect my outsides over time, as well.

My eBay clothing purchases are still trickling in. Partly because I continued to order things, and partly because receiving mail from the US can often take forever. I really want my In Cold Blood book… the DVD (original 1967 movie) arrived in my mailbox yesterday from Cinemail, but I want to finish the book before I watch the movie! Anyway, I love the clothes I’ve been getting, although some of them have been too small (my own fault for not checking measurements properly, and gaining weight this past year) and some are a bit big, too. The big ones I can still wear, but the shoulders fall down and show my bra straps. So, it’s a good thing I bought new bras too, because if you’re going to ‘accidently’ show your straps, they best be new and pretty. Today, I decided to wear one of these new bras. It was a real struggle to get it on… the size is bigger than some of my other bras, but I guess being new, it hasn’t stretched out at all, plus, every brand is different. So it took me, I swear, half an hour to get the clasps done up in the front and then turn the bra around on me so the clasps were in the back. By that point, I was pretty worn out. I could tell the straps needed to be adjusted and were a bit tight, but I wasn’t able to do it with the bra on. And I wasn’t about to take it off and do that all over again. So, I struggled to get my arms through the straps and get them up on my shoulders and then FINALLY I was wearing the bra. And it looked damn good! Fits really well, once it’s actually ON. Now, I needed the straps adjusted. I called the rental office, because Michelle over there knows me, but she wasn’t in. So I hopped on my scooter and went to the mall, (well, I put clothes on first) and rode into La Senza. I figured, they sell bras and lingerie, they are used to fiddling with women’s bras. I asked a sales clerk to assist me, and she did without question. I then decided to buy a night shirt that was on sale (that will probably never fit me) because I felt guilty going in there asking for that kind of help, and not buying anything. Then, just to add some icing to the cake, on my way out my scooter latched on to, and pulled down to the floor, a large rack of silky robes.

Oh, and dare I mention, that when struggling to put on a bra, in my bedroom and on my bed, certain things come out of my mouth such as groaning, sighing, “aaauuuuggggghhhhh”, “come ON!”, “you’re ALMOST THERE!” and “Dear GOD!”.

Next week I will be working AT the Pub, for the first time in months. I’ve been doing their work from home lately, because my walking was so bad that I didn’t trust myself at their place, with the obstacle course out back and the stairs up to the office. But, I have improved that much at least, that I feel safe about going there and using my cane out back and up the stairs. I’m almost to the point where I should be able to just take my cane when I go out (where limited walking is involved, i.e. to restaurants and stuff) although I’m not quite there… I think it’s more fear, than anything. My walker has become a part of me and I feel so safe and balanced with it.

I can’t remember what else I was going to talk about. So, I’ll spare you the babble and just put up cat pics.

Pita is so DAMN CUTE!!

Pita Paws

Eeeeeeeee!!

Ahhhhhh….. what a life.

Pepper likes to hang out on top of the kitchen cupboards.

Pepper always stands up like that when I bring the food over. So cute!!

Pepper Paws