Can You Hear Me Now?

Okay, so, I watched “The Secret” DVD the other night, and I have been sufficiently inspired. I will no longer talk about the negative aspects of my health or fears of getting worse, because it just puts it “out there” in the Universe, and I don’t want that “out there”. Our lives are a manifestation of our thoughts… good and bad. I truly believe that. As I have said before, my MS was in remission and I was doing fine for the first couple years after diagnosis, until I started researching MS and finding out more about it and fearing all these things that “could” happen to me. Whatever you focus on, you get… and I was inadvertently focusing on getting worse and all my fears, and it started to happen. So, no more of that. I want to get better and the only way to do that is to believe I am and will!

Wow, re-reading that old entry was a bit of a wake-up call, too. I need to get back into that frame of mind, it sure was working for me!! I wonder what happened to set me off track? Probably stuff with AH, and then I remember I went to Toronto and that threw me over the “I overdid it” edge. Oh, and messing with my hormones by taking birth control pills again (I’m re-reading old entries, can you tell?? Heh). Anyway, I’m back into visualization and affirmations again, and expect to reap the benefits soon! (Have I ever mentioned that the more I lost use of my right side, the more I would fear falling and breaking my left wrist? “OH MY GOD, what what I do if that ever happened???” I used to think. Well, now I know, because I focused on that fear enough to make sure it happened).

Anyway…

Today was fantastic. I went back to ‘Living Well with a Chronic Illness‘ and re-started the program. Now that I have the walker carrier on my scooter and can actually bring my walker, it is much better. I participated in the 15 minute warm-up, then we all moved to whatever stations we wanted or to education, but since I already attended the first education class on February 1, I skipped that and went straight to exercise. I walked around the gym once, then did some balance exercises, then walked around the gym again, then rested, then sat on one of those big fitness balls and practiced sitting straight and lifting my leg, then walked around the gym 2 more times, then rested, then did strength exercises and stretching with the group. Apparently AH walked in at that time and saw me, because he was picking someone up. Later on he teased me, “I saw you, but you didn’t see me!! You were tying something around your legs.” Ah, the resistance band!

I came home and felt amazing, and still do. I wish I didn’t have to work and stuff, and could just go to classes like that every day. I can’t wait to get in better shape.

There is already a man there with a crush on me. He followed me around for awhile and then finally said “I haven’t seen you around here before”. Wow! Classic!

Speaking of men with crushes on me, that cab driver that lives in my building has never contacted me again. HE is the one that said I was beautiful and “maybe we can get together and watch a movie…” Maybe when/if he found that note I slipped under his door he thought I was being too forward? ‘Cause if he never saw the note, you’d think he would have knocked on my door by now. And HE is the one that said “if you ever need anything or any help, you ask me!”… so I dunno. I’m pretty sure he drove by me when I was on my scooter coming home from the mall a few days ago. He didn’t honk or anything. HMPH.

Anyway…

When I put my right shoe on before leaving today, I felt something in there… I pulled my shoe off and stuck my hand in to pull out a little water bottle cap, courtesy of the kitties. I realized then that I actually went through the entire day yesterday with that in my shoe. I kept thinking, “my toenails sure did get really long, really fast!”

I mentioned to Rob that I want an ion cleanse machine but need about $3,000 US to get one. He thinks we should hold a benefit to raise the money for it, fly me out to Toronto and get him, Lindy, Peter Katz, and a bunch of others to perform. You know, that’s a great idea! Those guys would totally do a show for me, and give all the $$ from ticket sales to me to buy the machine. I know they would! Organizing it and getting me (and Emma, because she must be there too) out to Toronto would be the hard part, but I am “putting it out there” for the universe to take care of. I will get one of those machines, one way or another!

By the way? I love Rob for even suggesting something like that. He is the BEST. I wish I could clone him. Several times over.