Can You Hear Me Now?

Yesterday I went to the dentist. Well, actually, my Periodontist, who I go to every 5 months. My gums are in rough shape, but so far we have been able to keep surgery at bay. It’s difficult to floss and take care of your gums properly with one hand, you know! So I count on my Sonicare to do the work. Of course, when I was staying in the care facility and had NO useful hands, the nurses brushed my teeth for me, and they didn’t like the Sonicaire. It’s hard enough to brush someone else’s teeth, never mind with a fancy motorized brush. So we used a regular one, and didn’t do a very good job. And it showed on this visit, but hopefully by the time I go again after 5 months of Sonicaring (I made a word!), they’ll look better.

But I digress. I was sitting in the waiting room wearing my cute strappy comfy shoes that I bought in Montreal, and there was a woman next to me with the exact same shoes! We talked about how comfortable they are and how much we love them. She told me she bought hers at a specialty shop in Eau Claire Market. I told her I found mine in Montreal, but I didn’t tell her what they cost me, because if she bought hers at Eau Claire Market she spent 5 times what I did. HA!

Naomi, the sweet woman with the pointy instruments that scales my gums, took me to her chair and asked me how I was doing. I mentioned I’d had a hell of a summer, spending a lot of it in the hospital and stuff. She asked, “oh, is that when you broke your wrist?” to which my response was a dumbfounded look. Turns out she spent a good hour and a half reading my blog one night about a month ago. I forgot I had given her the address last time so she could see pictures of my cats! She had never seen a blog before. It’s weird to try to explain it to people who don’t have one or read them regularly… yes, there are millions of us who go online and write about our lives and publish it on the internet for the whole world to see. Yeah, so?

Anyway, my periodontist is a few blocks away from where my brother lives. He came and met me there so he could hitch a ride with Access back to my place, for his weekly visit, vacuuming, shopping, dinner, etc. He noticed a big spot on the rug beside my couch, and said “oh-oh, I think the cats pee’d on your rug!” Nope, the day before my latte was sitting innocently on the side table waiting for me to drink it when Pita decided to knock it on the carpet while oh-so-daintily walking across the table. I saved most of the latte, but the big spot remained. So Darren got on his hands and knees and scrubbed it out! It worked so well, I pointed out that months prior I had fallen with a latte in my hand and there was another big spot on the rug being covered by a plant pot. So he scrubbed that too, and it’s gone! Amazing what a little elbow grease can do. Now if he would just do ALL of my apartment like that… I’ve been here 3-1/2 years, my rugs could use a good shampooing.

We went for dinner and then shopping. I found some things I needed at Dollarama that I didn’t think I would find there. Everything is a dollar. That includes those hooks that hang over the back of your bedroom or bathroom door, with, like, 7 hooks, that Walmart had for $10.96 and Dollarama had for… ONE DOLLAR. Everything is a dollar.

I was flipping channels the other night, and I stopped for a few minutes on the Head of the Canadian Society of Muslims or something. He was talking about this being the month of Ramadan, during which time Muslims are to be their most giving and charitable, helping those in need wherever possible. It is also the time when they fast during the daylight hours, and when the sun sets they “break fast” and have this whole ritual of prayer and food (AH always knows the exact time… “tonight we eat at 6:57″). This man said that Muslims are to open their doors to non-Muslims, invite them to break fast with them, and share their homes, families and food with them. Last night I called AH and left a message that he is supposed to A) give me money, and B) invite me over to his house to meet his entire family and break fast with them. I haven’t heard back…

Pita saw a little bug on the ceiling and was going nuts, so Darren brought her closer.

I’m gonna getcha!

Yeah, let her eat bugs. I’ll sit here and be the Classy AristoCat.

Ahhh my weekends are so quiet again. I need the Polyjesters to hurry up and get home and play a gig around here so I can have a life. I don’t see that happening for awhile though, as they’re in Ontario this month and then they’re heading off to England for the month of November. Big shots.

Rob Szabo is back on November 10 though, with Peter Katz, so THAT is going to be a great night. If anyone asks, I am conserving energy for that!

It was Thanksgiving in Canada this past weekend. My mom and Bob stuffed a turkey and brought it over to my place to cook, along with the usual mashed potatoes, gravy, carrots, corn and buns. Followed by pumpkin pie. A starchy carb-lovers dream, and my most favourite dinner! My brother had plans with dad, so I invited my friend Michelle to join us. I actually own matching place settings for four, so I might as well use them when I have the chance! Hehe. Michelle just bought her first house, so let’s all congratulate her, shall we? ::clapclapclap:: Yay!

I am thankful for my friends and family and music and musicians and my kitties and my computer and the internet and hot water out of the taps and a roof over my head (even if I am still a renter. Sigh) and food in my cupboards and my scooter and lattes and crocs and lots of other stuff.

I received the bras I ordered today. There is a reason I have never ordered bras over the internet before. Where do they get their sizes from?? I even e-mailed customer service before I ordered and told them the bra size I normally wear to make sure I would get the correct size in theirs. My GOD, I can’t even get my bodacious ta-tas inside the cups!! So much for that. I ordered another one tonight because I think I’ll really like it in a bigger size, and I’ll send these two back… hopefully they’ll take bras back. It’s pretty obvious they were never worn.

I found the secret to getting my cats to come into my office at the same time so I can escape and go to the mall. Print something!! They both come running when the printer/fax warms up and shoots out paper. It’s mayhem, excitement, magic! And momma can get her latte, and be back before they even notice. Sorta.

Today I worked back at the Pub for the first time in four months! I did have fish n’ chips for lunch. There is so much work to do there… months worth of filing has piled up waiting for me, and I added even more to the pile today. I’m a month behind in everything else because early September is the last time Kevin brought me any work to do at home. I worked there for a few hours today and then took work home with me, and will go back again next week. By then I should be almost caught up.

I am so excited, I’m having lunch on the 20th with my best friend from school… since Grade 6! My junior high years with Carolyn (”Pee Wee”, as she was known back then, all 4′11″ of her) were the best. We grew apart as our lives changed; she married a lawyer and had a couple kids, and I, last I heard, did not. She lived in Toronto for many years (just after I moved back here, go figure) and even though she has been back in Calgary for awhile, we don’t see each other. Our lives are just so different, I believe I have seen her once in about 3 years. So it’s going to be great to catch up… she attended her 20 year high school reunion a couple weeks ago so I am excited to hear about what everyone is up to. I changed schools in Grade 11 so I wasn’t in that graduating class, but those are the people I remember from school days. Although I don’t remember much… high school is a bit of a blur, it was troubled times for me and then I took off to Toronto for a few years. But Carolyn… Carolyn I will never forget!!

Sigh…

There just isn’t rooooooom for both of us anymore!!

Fine. I’ll just steal Momma’s chair.

**NEWSFLASH** Donna leaves her apartment with just her CANE in tow. She was wearing her Crocs, and was able to walk into Sport Check, walk all the way to the back of the store where the Crocs were, pick out a chocolate brown pair, walk all the way up to the front where the cashier was and pay, and then walk out to her parent’s van. They also went to the chiropractor and out for dinner. The entire evening was a success as Donna did not require any further assistance while walking and DID NOT FALL.

How COOL is that??

That was a big hurdle for me to overcome, going out somewhere without my walker. Yay for Crocs! Not to say that I wouldn’t be able to do that wearing other shoes, but the Crocs certainly helped give me the courage to try for the first time, because they are so light. Sometimes I stumble simply because my lame right foot is heavier to lift up with a shoe on it, and these babies are like lifting up air. IloveCrocs IloveCrocs IloveCrocs I even talked my stepdad into buying a pair last night, too.

I finally feel like I am almost back to where I was before June 9. Four months this has taken me! Next week, I am overcoming another hurdle. Working at the Pub (for the first time since June 9!) I’ve been doing their stuff at home because they have stairs up to the office and stuff. I knew I would need to go there with just my cane and someone to walk up/down the stairs with me, justincase. I am ready and I am going to the Pub. I think I need to order fish n’ chips and a pint of Guinness for lunch that day, just because. Except I hate Guinness, but whatever.

Yesterday my brother came over so we could return that stereo. We were going to exchange it for another one, but I told him, honestly, I don’t need a stereo. I have a little CD player for the living room and that is good enough. I rarely listen to music out there anyway, usually it’s in here at my computer that I listen. The living room is for TV and laughing at cats for entertainment. It was really nice of him to think of buying me that, but I wanted him to spend the credit on things he needs for himself. He’s not working full-time and is taking online courses, so he’s not exactly loaded at the moment. So we went shopping with his credit and he bought himself lots of groceries and stuff, and I “let” him buy me James Blunt’s CD and some gummy worms. Stereo, gummy worms, same difference. I’ll let him buy me a stereo (with a record player so I can play my hundreds of old records!) when he’s rolling in dough.

Pepper wonders where those sweet sounds are coming from.

Pita sniffs out the stereo for the last time

Noooooo!!!!!! Don’t take our new box away!!!!!!

Today I updated my “Bio” link over on the side – I had in there that I have never been to a funeral. Well, that all changed today as I attended my first one.

My good friend Lisa’s dear Uncle John passed away suddenly on Friday. I wanted to attend his funeral because I had met him several times, and he was such a nice man. The past two Christmases Lisa’s family has included me in their Christmas Eve festivities, and on New Year’s Day 2005 I attended the big family dinner at her Uncle John and Aunt Vincenza’s beautiful home. John always had a big smile for me and was very kind and helpful. It was a real shock to hear of his death at such a young age (55).

I wanted to show my respect and support for the family by attending the funeral service. It was held at this big Italian church, and the entire service was in Italian (except for a few people that performed short readings in English, including Lisa). I had no idea what was being said or when to respond, so I just followed what everyone around me was doing. Stood up when they did, sat down when they did, said “Amen” when they did! There were many, many people. It’s very obvious he was a well loved and respected man.

Anyway, I have now been to a funeral. I didn’t attend the burial as that was at another location and I was using Access and didn’t know what the timing would be like. Plus I had called my mom last night about “funeral etiquette” and she suggested the burial was really more for the family and very close friends.

The thing with funerals is, just like at a wedding, you see people you haven’t seen for a long time and you are tempted to run up and smile and hug and say “how are you?!?” but… you know. DON’T.

When I got home, the cats followed me into my office so it was the perfect time to escape to the mall for a latte. My coat was still on and everything.

Let’s talk about the mall for a moment, shall we? I was there last night with my brother. We were looking at CD players because we have to exchange the one he bought me, which unfortunately died earlier that day. In the mall I saw a woman – and normally, I don’t notice what people are wearing or care, because God knows I have days where I hop on my scooter and race over to the mall in my slippers, blue sweats and a red T-shirt, so who am I to judge – wearing a fancy pink dress, with WHITE shoes, and a SHINY GOLD purse. Fashion CRIME! And her daughter had bare feet. In the mall! That’s worse than white shoes in October. Ugh.

Speaking of fashion crimes, or victim as the case may be, I got myself a pair of Crocs finally. I looooooooooove them and don’t care what they look like or that the snow is going to fall soon. I will be like Lisa and have 43 pairs in various colours by next summer. They’re like walking on air, these things. They’re so light and comfortable! And for the record, mine are the colour pearl (all they had, a grayish white), not white, so I can wear them now.

Because of the holes, my brother said “you can use those shoes to scoop the cat litter… then you’d have a croc of shit”. Heh.

I keep buying shoes and I still don’t have a decent pair I can wear with that ankle/foot orthotic thingy they made for me at the care facility. Oops.

I have a big zit on my forehead. And why do I have a big zit on my forehead? Because Estee Lauder had another “Free Gift with Purchase” last week and we all know I am a sucker for those. I love their “free” gifts. You need to spend $29.50 to get it. So, I’m looking at stuff… don’t really need anything… “the cleanser is $29.50 exactly,” the sales lady tells me. Nah, I like my cheap mud soap from New Zealand. It’s my not-so-secret secret. “So is the toner”. Well, now… I don’t have any toner! So lets get that! And WHY don’t I have any toner? Because I never use it. And WHY don’t I ever use it? Because I don’t NEED that perfumed liquid crap on my face that makes me break out in big zits. Duh. However, I got an awesome make-up bag with another smaller make-up bag and a lipstick I actually like, a lip gloss I actually love, more mascara and face cream, and an eyeliner I’ll never use! For FREE!

Momma’s too busy with her new make-up, she won’t notice us chewing on the blinds or anything.

Crikey! Momma! Did a spaceship land on your forehead, or WHAT??

I received this message from a friend today:

“When I am rich and famous I will buy you a hunky Second Cup bitch. he will exist only to run out and buy vanilla soy latte’s for you at your every whim. he will live in your closet, even though you will be in a mansion. after all his sole purpose is to serve you lattes and look damn sexy doing so. ”

Yessssss.

I figured it was time once again to make fun of the various internet search phrases that land people at my blog. However, most of them have been pretty “normal” this year. A few that caught my eye:

• masturbating in front of doctor (ewwwwwww!)
• hot paramedics (So, I am not the only one who notices this).
• Saskatchewan gay blog (Yes. I can see why you ended up here).
• marry me a newfie girl (With grammar like that, who would want you?)
• where montreal fashionistas hang out (Chez Cora’s! Duh!)
• donna and cats and ms and blogs (You found me!)
• single sluts calgary (You found me again!)
• what does “we should go out sometime” mean? (He’s just not that into you. Unless, of course, he follows up).
• mall dress-up games that i can i can play right now (Huh?)
• what to do if you don’t hear i love you back (Realize that he’s just not that into you).
• my girlfriend put me in a dress and put lipstick on me (Hi, Jason!)
• sex with my housekeeper (ewwwwwwww! NOT MINE!)
• emma needs to trust new humans (Hee!)

I got a call from my brother last night around 9:30. “Are you going to be up for awhile?” I said yes, (because, you know, Desperate Housewives is on at 10:00 p.m.) and he said he had a surprise for me and would be by in about half an hour.

He showed up at my door with a STEREO. A nice 5-CD player (I have a super cheap one disc player). He said “this was on sale, and I figured you need one. I’ll come over on Tuesday and set it up.” And with that, he was off.

My brother bought me a stereo.

I’m still in shock.

This position just cracks me up.

Pita likes to play with the writing as it scrolls across the screen.