Can You Hear Me Now?

Today was a good day. My morning started off as usual with Home Care arriving to help me shower and dress, and then I was to be picked up by Access to go to my salon. My apartment buzzer rang and I heard a strange voice say “Madam, your car is waiting”. I said “thank you” and walked out the door, but thought “no one ever says that… I bet it’s AH being silly” and it was! Hehe What a nice way to start the day. I was disappointed that he was driving me to my appointment and not from, when I’ll have my hair done all nice. He said I’m beautiful anyway so who cares I asked him to walk me in because I have told my hairdresser about him and now she can finally see who I’ve been talking about! So he said “hi” and gave her a quick wave before he left. Ahhhh my hot married friend/showpiece.

Then I proceeded to get my hair cut and highlighted, and a lovely pedicure. It’s been too long and the money I spent was well worth it!

Shortly after I got home, my mom and Bob picked me up for our chiropractor appointments.

I’ve been having tons of pain in my gallbladder. Which is strange, considering I don’t have one anymore. But I have been experiencing major pain in the area, especially after eating or drinking anything and throughout the evening. Last night it hurt to breathe. Tylenol was helping sometimes, but who wants to live off that? I asked my chiropractor about it today, because he knows everything. He said my tissues are reacting to losing my gallbladder… you do need your gallbladder to properly store the bile secreted from your liver to emulsify fats and neutralize acids from partially digested food (stolen from the internet somewhere, not off the top of my head). When your gallbladder is removed, bile is delivered directly from the liver ducts to the upper part of the intestine. But my body is still trying to understand what happened and wants my gallbladder back to do the work, so I’m getting this pain. Kind of like the “phantom pain” a person may experience when they have their leg amputated or something. He gave me a supplement called GB-Plus from Nutri-West which contains the following:

Ox Bile Concentrate 135mg, Collinsonia (root) 310mg, L-Glycine 50mg, Pepsin 30mg, Concentrated Russian Black Radish (root) 20mg, Niacinamide 5mg, Tissue Concentrate (not extract) of bovine source from Liver 30mg, Duodenum 5mg, Pancreas 20mg, Red Beet (root) 25mg, Vitamin B-1 2mg, Vitamin B-2 2mg.

Basically, it acts as a gallbladder so my body thinks I still have one. I need to take one a day for a month or so, then just a couple per week. And you know what? I took one when I got home before eating supper, it is now close to 10:00, and I have had NO PAIN for the first time in a couple weeks. I love my chiropractor!

Blonde bottle dye job: $10. Spray tan: $30. Plastic surgery: $thousands. Pink being presented with an MTV Video Music Award by a “Stupid Girl” and the ex-husband of one? Priceless.

Oh, it’s soooo nice and cool today. I know everyone else around here will be complaining about the signs of fall and the cooler weather, but I am thrilled to pieces. The heat has been affecting me more than usual lately and it doesn’t even have to be HOT for it to bother me… so this high of 12°C (55°F) today and 16 tomorrow with showers in the forecast is making me giddy!

Things have been rather quiet around here. I haven’t been able to spend much time at my computer (my office is the only place I can’t have a fan blowing on me, because my papers will go everywhere! And the kitties do enough damage, thanks) so I’ve been on the phone. A lot! I think AH and I talked a total of at least two hours the other day, and Lindy called (!!!) (I broke down and told him I’m coming to Montreal) and we talked for almost an hour, and Rob, and Shawna, and my Mom and brother and on and on. It’s a good thing I have a new battery in my cordless.

Now that it is cooler I hope to get lots of work done the next couple days before it gets nice and sunny again. Maybe I’ll even get to the stack ‘o emails in my Inbox I need to respond to.

Yesterday my life-saving brother came by again. After he vacuumed and took out the garbage, we went to the mall so I could buy all the stuff on my list (I have been good and keep an ongoing “stuff I need” list and take it with me on these weekly trips) and had dinner. Weekly trips… sigh. I miss my daily trips! There is all this new staff at the Second Cup and they don’t even know me or my usual drink. Yesterday she asked me: “do you mean a vanilla bean latte? And, we charge extra for soy, is that okay?” I hope I can go by myself when the Yogen Fruz opens in there. I may have a new daily ritual.

Have I mentioned I am addicted to Propel Water? The Lemon flavour. Bob bought me some awhile back because the bottle is easy for me to open (once someone else takes the lid off and removes the paper cover thingy first!) so it’s his fault, he created a monster. I love it soooo much, I buy tons of it. I guess I could just add lemon juice to plain water, but I know it won’t be the same. This stuff must have crack cocaine in it. Or, sugar.

Tomorrow I am finally going to get my hair cut and highlighted and having my long-needed pedicure. I’m actually really liking the length of my hair right now… it’s longer, but it showcases my natural curl more and I don’t need to put anything in it… mousse, hair spray, etc. to like it. Just wash and let it dry and it looks cute! But another week and it would drive me nuts. It’s already in my face too much. I’m hoping to keep most of this length though, and just get a little trim. But my feet, ohhhh, my feet need help!

I wish they would renovate my apartment and get rid of these 70’s mod yellow floors and counters I’ve got in the kitchen and bathroom!

I decided I need to update more often so I don’t end up with these reeeeaaaalllly long entries that take me forever to type and no one wants to read because scrolling down looks so overwhelming! (Well, it does to me anyway).

Yesterday my regular Monday - Friday Home Care lady came by; she’s done me the past couple Saturdays as well. I think she just loves my cats, but I know I’m a pretty easy client to help out too. I’m a “one hour” client, but it only ever takes them about half that. My cats, by the way, LOVE her back. They’re all over her when she is here. Now, if I could just get her to stop talking so much, it would be the perfect relationship. She is one of those people that talks out loud as she is doing stuff, telling you what she is doing… “now I’m going to dry your legs… how’s that? Let me put this lotion on your back. How’s that?” Then I get to hear about her other clients, the good and the bad, and previous clients, all bad (one is my neighbour, actually… I guess she was helping him shortly after his wife left, and he was really mean and cranky so she quit him. He’s very much a “Victim” and has always been “poor me” for as long as I’ve known him). I hear about how she is the best home care worker on the planet and why. Oh, and the best person on the planet period… if I hear the story about the wallet she found and returned one more time I’m going to scream!

Oh, speaking of my neighbour, the day I returned home for good he popped over to see me. He had been wondering where I was all this time, and who that “pretty lady” was that came by almost every day (that would be Lisa… he’s missing you more than my kitties are I think, Lisa! Hehe) He was diagnosed with MS 31 years ago, but recently found out it’s not MS he has had after all, but some sort of spinal cord disease that they operated on… and he is walking much better since then. However, it is too late to do anything more. If he had been properly diagnosed 31 years ago, he would probably be fine today. Can you imagine? I’d be soooooooo angry and looking for someone to sue. But so many years have gone by and my neighbour has fallen into a real rut of depression, being a victim, surviving off his disability cheque and complaining about what is wrong with the system, that I’m not so sure he has it in him to fight back.

Hey, he still owes me $10! Heh. I’ll never ask for it back, but that just hit me.

Anyway, after Home Care left my parents came by to take me to the chiropractor. I hadn’t been there in three weeks, and this was the first time I was able to get up from the waiting room chair without anyone helping me. Woot! They are really noticing my improvements, which are certainly noticeable considering three weeks ago I was still at my mom’s and in a real state. I’m certainly better than that, but until I can dress myself and move like before I won’t consider myself “better”!

We went for pizza later and it was sooo good. Bella Roma has the best pizza in Calgary, if you’re ever wondering. If you have tried theirs and still know of somewhere better here, (since Curbside in Bridgeland closed… sniff) leave it in the comments, because I would certainly like to try it!

So, I have decided I will for sure be going to Montreal in Mid-September for a few days. I’m not sure how my health will be by then, so I booked an accessible hotel room downtown for the time I am there instead of simply hoping I’ll be able to do Emma’s stairs. Better safe than sorry! It’s going to be so much fun… I’ll get to hang with Emma again, meet Lobelia, lots of other people Em has told me about, AND, see my buddies Lindy and Rob Szabo! EEK! I’m not going to tell Lindy I’m coming, I will surprise him. I still have to book my actual flights, but am waiting on a friend to straighten out a Westjet Buddy Pass situation so I can hopefully fly cheap.

I’ve had a rather eventful week, in the world of what is Donna at the moment.

Saturday ~ Before leaving for the music festival, I had a special delivery of a NEW BED! I am so happy, I have been saying “I need a new bed” for years. Goodbye creaky, droopy old mattress and hello Serta Memory Foam! I can finally move around on my bed without it making noises like it is about to break under me, and getting up from it is a breeze because it is higher. Thankfully I got a low box spring, though - new beds these days are so high I would otherwise need stairs to get on it!

Sunday ~ After being in Carstairs the day before and getting home late, I was soooo looking forward to sleeping in my new bed. So much so, that I kicked the cats out of my bedroom at 5:00 a.m. because they weren’t letting me sleep, closed the door and slept like a rock. I didn’t hear the phone ring or my door buzzer when Home Care was trying to reach me. I usually have a fan going in my bedroom so when my door is closed that overrides everything! I slept until noon and then listened to all the worried voice mail messages from Home Care. Oops! I called them back and let them know I was okay, and not to bother sending anyone back because it was a stay-in-my-jammies day anyway. And that’s just what I did. I saw Bend It Like Beckham on TV that night, what a great movie!

Monday ~ This was a pretty miserable day. I went back to Troy’s office to work for the first time since the end of May, which would have been fine, except the temperature was 31°C and I was sweating up a storm in there. No air conditioning or even a fan to save me, and I was spending 5 hours there because Access is on a schedule and you can’t get them to come earlier or anything. I was dying in there. I was also by myself because Mel went home sick before I got there (she’s preggers!), the techs were out and Troy was at a golf tournament, which just made it worse because I had no one to complain to or help me get to a cooler part of the building for a few minutes once in awhile. THEN, to make matters worse, when my Access ride finally came to take me home, his air conditioning had stopped working earlier that day. So the car was as hot as the office, even worse, and I didn’t go straight home, we drove all over this mall parking lot trying to find another person he had to pick up. By the time I got home, I wasn’t sure I would make it inside without falling. Thankfully I did, but it was too late in the day to recover fr0m the damage and feel better. (Heat + MS = worsening of symptoms). I stripped off my damp clothes, plopped myself in front of my fan and literally didn’t try to move until I went to bed where my other fan is!

Tuesday ~ Today the Occupational Therapist with Home Care came by to assess me and if I have any equipment needs. We decided I no longer require a pole beside my bed, since I can get in and out easily with the new bed. There goes my dreams of learning to stripper pole dance. He told me lift chairs are not covered by Aids to Daily Living (which is how I got most of my other equipment) but that he could get an Up-Easy Lift seat for me to try out. He also wanted to replace a towel rack in my bathrom with a grab rail, because he said I am using it to help me balance and a towel rack is not safe! I don’t think I do that often, but I guess I reached for it when he asked me to re-enact my usual bathroom routine.

Later that day, I finally got AH out for dinner! He’s never been to the Olive Garden, so I have been trying to get him there for ages. And I keep telling him that early in the week is best, because they are soooo busy on the weekends. He picked me up around 6:30 and I decided to take the two-wheeled walker because it is smaller. That was a mistake, because my walking was awful and I kept teetering over to the side and almost stumbling. Anyway, we made it to Olive Garden and it was very crowded, estimating an hour for a table. Drat! Make reservations next time! Immediately AH suggested Earl’s, because he wanted to order their curry dish that I always get when I go there too. Also, Tuesday night is Bellini night there - not that AH knew what a bellini was, but he found out. We were seated almost right away, got our bellinis, and ordered the Jeera Chicken curry that I think the cook forgot to put curry in. It was so bland and really disappointing. Of course, we should have said something and maybe got our meals for free, but as usual when the server asked how everything was we responded “great, thanks”.

We had a really nice time, talking about everything under the sun as usual. I gave him marital advice because I know so much about how to make a marriage work, being 38 and never married myself (”you know, when she flies off the handle and freaks out about all these little things, it isn’t about that… it’s about something else, probably your relationship and something she isn’t getting from you. Are you a TRUE partner in your marriage? Do you give her time and attention and help out with the kids, or are you always off working on your car or helping out other family members like I know you always are? Do you even ASK her how her day was?”) Fine, maybe I watch a lot of Oprah and Dr. Phil, but he doesn’t ever ask her how her day was (”Oh man, she’d go on forever if I asked her that”) and he said he’s not really happy, he’s just going with the flow and with her for the kids (and the fact that she was going to return to Lebanon with her parents and sister in the Spring, taking the kids with her… but of course since then her family has returned anyway, with the war and all) . I reminded him they have a lot of years to spend together and it would be a lot more enjoyable if they were happy together… if he’s not happy, she’s not either! I suggested it wouldn’t hurt for him to ask her about her day once in awhile and maybe even ask her what she needs from him that she isn’t getting, if he can do anything to support and help her be happier in her life. I know he won’t do it, because he probably thinks I’m crazy, and do couples really talk that way to each other anyway? I dunno. I’d like to think so!

Wednesday ~ Hump day - go ahead and take a break because this is a lot longer than it was in my head.

This morning I went to the hospital for my wrist follow-up X-rays and doctor visit. I was told my wrist looks great, my range of motion is great and they expect everything will be back to normal soon. No need for physio or further check-ups! The wait in the cast clinic was so long, I barely had time for a latte and a scone from Second Cup before my physio appointment with Erin at 12:00. I told Erin what I was told at the cast clinic, and she told me that she had been speaking with the MS Clinic’s OPTIMUS (Outpatient Treatment In Multiple Sclerosis) program, and since I don’t need wrist physio I will be going to the OPTIMUS program from now on. They all figure it’s my best bet because they are so specialized in MS and they have PT, OT, nurses, social workers, etc. I was told they would work with me as long as I need it, and Erin told them I really want to attend regular classes or something, so they will help me with that. I have an appointment there next Friday. I did go there a few times about 6 years ago, and they are great, but it was short term and far away from me. I was hoping I could just go to the hospital closest to me, but I’m sure this will be best in the long run. Even if it means two hour car trips each way with Access grrrrrr!

Thursday ~ Today a guy from Medi-Chair came by to bring me the UpEasy seat for loan and to look at the bar in my bathroom. It was decided that I can’t get a grab rail to replace the towel rack because there are no studs in the wall there. So, I’m just going to have to be aware and not reach out for that. Then, I tested out the UpEasy and hated it, it’s quite useless actually and doesn’t work on soft furniture like my La-Z-Boy or sofa (the only places I need it) so I told him to take it back with him. So, no new equipment for me after all that!

This afternoon my brother came over. He is so awesome… my kitties have been attacking this dried flower arrangement I had in a big vase, so we threw it all out and Darren vacuumed all the pieces up. Then we got me and my scooter out the door so I could do some shopping! There is a new Dollarama store in the mall, which I was more than happy to venture into, and for once there is a Dollar store with wide aisles that easily fit my scooter! I am so happy this store is there, I got a lot of things on my list there (and a few things not on my list… shhh) but it could have been MUCH worse. They had big coffee mugs with sunflowers on them for chrissakes, and I restrained myself!!! I was going up and down the aisles saying “don’t tell me this is only one dollar!” I bought a sealed plastic container to keep cat food in… the same kind of container I bought at Walmart for about $4.29 to scoop the cat litter into. FOR ONE DOLLAR!

I finished off my list in Walmart, and with my scooter basket filled to the rim and Darren carrying three shopping bags, I was ready to go. I stocked up on a lot of stuff I really needed, so that was great. I look forward to the day I can get my scooter in and out on my own so I can get back to regular shopping trips and not needing so much at once! I bought Darren dinner, and then with his free hand he carried my latte home for me.

Once inside/stuff put away, I sipped my latte while Darren cleaned my bathroom. Oh, the life of a princess! He is going to come by every week he said, to help with stuff like that. He rocks.

Darren and the Flying Pita

Friday ~ That’s today. I worked at Troy’s again and it was still hot in his office. Cooler than the other day, but it was hotter in there than outside. Ugh. Anyway, I managed to get all my work for him caught up, so there’s one down… about 6 more to go.

The rest of the evening I’m doing nothing!!

Oh yeah, the other day I went into my bathroom and… the kitties discovered TOILET PAPER!! I have been soooo careful with not letting any hang off the roll but I must have slipped up and they got a hold of it. Hehe

This past Saturday, my buddy Jason held the First Annual Mountainview Music Festival in his back yard. He lives in Carstairs, a small town about 45 minutes from Calgary. I knew his mom and other friends were working REALLY hard to get everything prepared, and Jason was very proud of how his yard looked… even a sandy “beach” area over to the side. They had no idea if 10 people or 100 would show up, but I would say it was a smashing success, with people driving in from Calgary, Red Deer, Didsbury and surrounding areas to spend the day. His yard was jam packed, the music was amazing, and everyone had a great time.

My friends Jay and Katrina picked me up around 1:30 p.m., and luckily they have a van so there was room for both my walker and my wheelchair. They had also come with their supplies still in the back from the Folk Festival a few weeks before, which was a good thing because those blankets, tarps and umbrellas would be needed! Katrina’s sister, Jay’s brother and a friend were also tagging along.

When we arrived at the house, the fabulous Dan Livingstone was on stage. Jason and Sheldon were playing with him (as they would be playing all day - with Terra Hazelton and of course the Polyjesters as well). It was my first time seeing the guys since I broke my wrist and stuff, so it was unfortunate for me that they were so busy we didn’t have time to hang out!

Anyway, as soon as I stepped out of the van Barry (PolyDad) came up behind me and gave me a huge hug. Then I started up the driveway with my walker, and Carol (PolyMom) saw me and ran over for hugs too. “I can’t believe you made it! What a trooper…” She grabbed my wheelchair and set it up front and center, and helped me walk through the sand to get to it. She got me a vodka cooler, Jay gave me one of their big umbrellas to protect me from the sun (it was getting very hot!) and with my walker at my side like a little table, I settled in to watch the show.

After Dan, Terra sang a (supurb as always) set, and then the Polyjesters did a (wheeee!!! as always) set. During all this, various people came by to say hello and look after me! Jay brought me food (they were selling burgers and hot dogs, and they ran out before the night was through!), and my friend Damien ran around getting me more coolers, a cold cloth to wipe my face and neck because I was dying in the heat, and a glass of ice water. The PJ’s were done by around 5:00 or so, and shortly after that my friend Kim arrived from Red Deer. She used my walker for her seat until her husband and daughter arrived, so that meant she had to hold my bottles and/or cups haha She and Sheldon both said I looked “really good - you look like you! I was expecting death warmed over…” or something like that lol Well, I may look fine, but I don’t feel it yet! Anyway, it started to cool off, which I was very happy about, and then the rain began, which no one was happy about. Jay’s tarps and umbrellas came in very handy!

The rain actually passed quickly, so it wasn’t long before Dan took to the stage again, and then Terra. By the time the PJ’s went on again, it was starting to get cold, windy and cloudy. Jay brought me a blanket for around my upper body, and Kim’s husband brought one for my lower body. I love people who are prepared for anything!

The Plaid Tongued Devils had arrived and were supposed to be headlining that night, but when the PJ’s finished at 9:00 the rain started again. Equipment and people hid under tarps and umbrellas, hoping it would soon pass. Kim took that as her cue to leave (so glad you made it out and thanks for your help!! xoxo) Soon we were in the middle of a massive hail storm! I cowered under the big umbrella and pulled my blanket tighter while chunks of hail the size of golf balls landed around me. You could hear people under tarps yelling “ow! ow!” as the hail hit them lol

By close to 10:00 the storm was passing, but it was too late. Between residential noise by-laws and a soaking wet stage, the show could not go on. Jason made the official announcement that the music would not continue, but the party would as they lit bonfires and the bar still had some booze left! I was tired, cold and wet, so I secretly hoped Jay wouldn’t want to stay. Thankfully, Katrina felt the same as me and Jay was fine with leaving. So they packed up their stuff, helped me walk back through the (now wet, and sticking to my feet and sandals) sand and get settled in the nicely heated van before they went back to get my wheelchair and their stuff. (SO thoughtful).

Next year, they are hoping to hold the festival in another part of Carstairs. Some of the money made by this one is going towards building a town gazebo of sorts where they hope to hold it. The Mayor of Carstairs was even there, so I think they have a pretty good shot at making this an annual event. I sure hope so! It was a blast and will be even better for me next year, as I will hopefully be able to make it to the bathrooms!

Special thanks to Jay and Katrina for bringing me and all my equipment out there, having the smarts to keep umbrellas, blankets and tarps in the van, for air conditioning, and taking good care of me. To Damien and Kim for their help too, to Carol for all her hard work, to Terra, Matt, Jason and Sheldon for hugs and great music, and to beautiful Angie for seeking me out to introduce yourself. Not that any of them except Kim read this, but whatever!!

I wanted to write about the last couple days I spent at that care facility and going in for surgery, before I forget stuff. I never want to forget how amazing some people in my life are and to never take for granted all the little things I can still do (especially once I can do them again!)

Tuesday night (July 25) is when I started feeling a little sick to my stomach, but I chalked it up to something that would be gone by morning and didn’t let it bother me. That was the day my friend Shawna was driving in from Winnipeg, and she arrived around 9:30 p.m. She came up to my room to say “hi” and get my keys. She was quite vibrant and energetic for someone who had just spent about 14 hours in her car! She looked great and very happy. Probably just happy to finally be here!

I gave her my keys and explained where all the cat stuff is and reminded her which cat is which (although, it’s pretty safe to say, “Pita is the one that will be all over you the second you walk in the door”) and wished her luck with her allergies. I told her if the cats drove her nuts, to sleep in my room with the door closed.

The next morning, I still felt sick but it wasn’t too, too bad… the nurses kept me in bed again and brought me breakfast, which I ate and probably shouldn’t have. By lunch time I could barely touch my food, which was sweet n’ sour meatballs and I really wanted them! I ate half a meatball and then switched to soda crackers and gingerale.

After lunch I headed for physio to get fitted for a new splint with velcro that I could easily pull on and off, and while there Kevin and Christine from the Pub came to visit. We hung out for awhile, and I told them I was leaving the next day, so Christine said she’d get some food ready for me and Kevin would drop it by on Friday, along with the two months of work they have sitting there for me.

After they left I crawled into bed, my tummy was really acting up by this time. I asked the nurses if they had anything for gas, because that is what I was so sure it was. I was given a Gravol and told they can’t give me anything else unless a doctor sees me and prescribes it. So, I can go to the store and buy my own Diovol or Pepto-Bismol or whatever and take it, but they can’t give me any because it’s not on my “PRN”. They’re so strict with that stuff - I am glad I had my own stash of vitamins and supplements they never knew about, or they would have been taken from me.

Anyway, Shawna glides into my room with some Tim Horton’s and Purdy’s chocolate for me!! I almost cried, because I was too sick to have any. Still thinking I had gas, I was wishing for some baking soda and water to burp it away. Before I knew it Shawna was asking where the nearest grocery store was, and she took off to get me some! What a sweetie. I took several doses of that and did get a few good burps out, but no relief. Shawna hung out with me for a few hours. Karen, my favourite RN, came on shift so we went out there to say hello.

Knowing it was my last night there, Karen had a “surprise” for me. She went down to her car to get it… and came back with this big basket she put together for me!!! It was in a tin pail that had sunflowers and a bee painted on it. Inside she put a sunflower bookmark, sunflower push pins, some candles, toffees and caramels, a nice smelling hair conditioner and a card. The card had a little silver kitty charm hanging on the front, and she wrote inside: “Gonna miss our talks together. I am really glad you are recovering well. Keep in touch, you are very special”. I was dumbfounded. I did not expect that!! Is it any wonder that she became my favourite from the night I arrived there at 2:00 a.m. and she did my intake report? We hit it off right away.

I was in bed early again, and Shawna left taking a bunch of stuff with her back to my apartment to lighten the morning’s load. I had trouble sleeping because I was in pain, so around 5:00 a.m. I begged for something. Karen phoned the doctor on call and he recommended some kind of medication that is for nausea and helps gas pain too. I had not been feeling nauseous (although I was wishing I could throw up, because maybe it would help!) I took the pill and it allowed the pain to subside enough to get a few hours sleep.

The next morning the nurses left me in bed again, but I got myself up and started organizing my stuff to go home. I felt sooooo sick. Bob arrived to take me home, so we packed everything, signed the discharge papers and left. I felt too sick to make a proper round of goodbyes… I figured I’d come back in a couple days when I was feeling better and say goodbye to Blanche and Clive and some of the staff I missed.

When we arrived at my apartment Shawna was nowhere to be seen, but her car was outside and my bedroom door was closed so I figured she was in there sleeping (it was about 10:00 am) . I settled in my La-Z-Boy for a bit and cuddled my kitties. I finally decided I needed my bed and would have to kick Shawna out. I knocked, waited, knocked again, waited, and then opened the door and she wasn’t even in there! I was quite puzzled. But too sick to really put any thought into it so I crawled into bed. Shortly after, Shawna walked in wearing shorts, a tank top and headphones… she had been out for a walk! Duh. Anyway, she was tired too so she went to lie down on the couch and we both tried to sleep.

By 4:00 I decided I better get myself to the hospital. I was only feeling worse, and this had gone on too long, it couldn’t be “just gas”. Shawna offered to drive me of course, but I figured arriving in an ambulance might get me in faster. (Wrong!) I called the non-emergency ambulance line and they sent the EMT and paramedics. They helped me on to the ambulance, put in an IV (taking my one good vein on my right hand!), took my vitals, etc. To get me from the ambulance into the hospital they used one of these hard white plastic wheelchairs that are terribly uncomfortable. Once inside, the emergency paperwork was taken care of without me needing to stand in a line, but then I was placed in the waiting room with everyone else to wait my turn. Okay, okay, I guess “tummy troubles” isn’t exactly more of an emergency than “brain bleeding” so FINE. I will wait.

And wait and wait and wait. In that hard plastic chair. I was so uncomfortable and in so much pain and sooo tired and three hours had passed (this is the same waiting room a woman recently suffered a miscarriage while waiting) that I figured I may as well go home and be in pain there, at least I could lie down. I called Shawna to come get me and just as she walked in they called my name. Perfect timing! So Shawna was there to hang out with me while I was tested and seen by a doctor and stuff. On a side note, I was so tired and out of it I didn’t even notice how HOT the doctor was until later, when my pain had subsided a bit. Then I looked at Shawna and was like “woah, he is CUTE!” and she said “I was wondering when you were going to notice that!” She just kept shaking her head because all the doctors sent my way were cute. Hehe! They figured it was my gallbladder, and wanted to admit me for more tests in the morning. I slept on the emergency cot until a bed became available at around 1:30 a.m. and they put me in a room.

The following morning I was wheeled down for an ultrasound. I was introduced to a student and told she would be doing it. That was fine with me, however, she took 3 times as long as any other pelvic ultrasound I have ever had, and all that pressing down on my painful parts almost brought me to tears. It was an hour and 20 minutes of sheer torture. After she was finished, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and then another technician came in and said “okay, my turn!” He had to do everything over again to make sure the student didn’t miss anything. THEN I did cry. Just a slight whimper but I was tired and stressed and in pain… at least he only took about 20 minutes.

Then it was back upstairs where I was immediately jumped on for another attempt at drawing blood (a lab tech had failed earlier… my damn veins!) This one’s attempts were worst than the first and she poked me and shoved the needle around in my arm to the point that I screamed, made her jump, which hurt me more, and soon I was all out crying and hyperventilating. I guess it was the fact I had just been subjected to two hours of intense pain and was tired and stressed and this threw me over the edge. So they left me alone for awhile and didn’t attempt to get blood again for several hours.

The doctor came by and told me, yes, indeed, my gallbladder is very inflamed and needs to come out. Since the chances were fairly good I would not be getting surgery that afternoon, he allowed me “fluids only” until 6:00 p.m. (you can get called for surgery at any time of the day or night, and you can’t have anything in your system!). So I started drinking water, and when Shawna arrived I sent her right back down to get me a coffee lol They brought me a supper tray - a popsicle, jell-o, vegetable broth, tea. It was Friday afternoon and the last time I had eaten was soda crackers on Wednesday afternoon, so bring on the jell-o!

From 6:00 p.m. on I was not allowed anything, and was finally called for surgery the following night at 6:00 p.m. 24 hours without so much as a glass of water! I was back in my room close to midnight and was given a popsicle. Mmmmm. The next couple days were kinda like that, all fluids. When they finally brought me a roast beef sandwich for lunch on Tuesday, I just about cried! It was the best sandwich EVER. (Totally not, but it seemed like it at the time).

As mentioned in another entry, my MS meds block narcotics so no pain killers helped, yet they kept pumping them in me to see if I could get some relief. It didn’t work. It was hell! The first day after surgery I was hooked up to a catheter THANK GOD because I would have rather killed myself than try to get up for the bathroom. I was in so much pain it hurt to breathe and the nurses kept FORCING me to take deep breathes to prevent pneumonia or a collapsed lung (while in surgery they turn off your lungs and the machines breathe for you, filling your lungs with phlegm, so it is very important to cough that up and work your lungs back into breathing mode!)

Anyway, I was in the hospital about a week, much longer that usual “day surgery” gallbladder removal patients. Shawna left a couple days before I was discharged, but while in my apartment she unpacked my stuff, fed my cats, etc. She had to spend the last few days in a hotel because she was ready to scratch her nose off by that point. Lisa and Russ continued to take care of my kitties after Shawna left, and AH came by to visit me and get keys back as well. He needed to take over that weekend shift (and even brought his kids and made his son clean the litter boxes… he has been bugging his parents for a cat, but that cured him! “Dad, it SMELLS!” “Finish it!” “But it STINKS!” “I don’t care, you finish it! This is what you have to do with a cat!”) Hehe

I was then sent to my mom’s where I stayed for a week, feeling completely helpless and pathetic. I could barely walk, I was in pain, I couldn’t do anything for myself and at that point I wasn’t even able to get myself to the bathroom in time so I was wearing Depends at night. Yes, you heard me, I admit it! I would just sit there and cry every day, I was so depressed and hated my life. It’s like, over the years I have gotten used to my limitations and what I can and cannot do. I have learned to live with it and am okay with it. But take that and make it 10 times worse, and I am one depressed and grumpy bitch. THAT I don’t want to live with and get used to, it ain’t gonna happen, that is too much to ask of me at this point… My friends Jay and Katrina drove out to visit me one evening and brought me trashy gossip rags, which cheered me up a little. Talking on the phone with my friends helped, and knowing Rob would be here soon helped… I just prayed I would be in better shape by the time he got here.

Luckily, I only needed the Depends for a few nights… that was the first amplified MS symptom to go away. I got to the point where I could wash myself (but not shower) and dress (in sweats and a T-shirt, no bra!) and by the time I moved back home I wasn’t much better than that, but I knew I would get better faster at home and being forced to walk around more and get stuff for myself. Rob arrived the day after I got home, and the rest you’ve read about.

Oh yeah, that ambulance ride?? Who knew - I was sent a bill for $364.00 or something. Holy cripes! My health insurance covers it but I guess they never got that info so I called them to re-bill. I had no IDEA it cost that much though!!

Next up, I need to write about yesterday!! But my wrist needs a big ‘ol rest first.

Slowly, slowly… I believe I am improving. I am sooooooo tired though, I want to sleep sleep sleep and am dragging my ass from A to B and I can’t stop yawning! My mom says it’s because I am doing more that I am used too. Which isn’t much at all, but certainly more than lying in bed! I hope she’s right. I want my energy back!

Home Care has settled on one woman to come help me Monday to Friday, and then “whoever” on the weekends. My regular lady is nice and everything, but she talks WAY too much. I know her entire life story and the troubles she has had in her marriages; you know, I really don’t need to know that your first husband said he wouldn’t have sex with you because you were fat, so you lost 80 pounds, and he still wouldn’t have sex with you, but he had no qualms about gathering up blankets and tissues and all out masturbating in front of you. Really. I DON’T NEED TO KNOW THAT. She talks non-stop and all I do is grin (or frown, depending on the required response) and nod and look away. She loves my cats though, so that helps.

Speaking of, my cats are freakin’ adorable. I have taken more pics but won’t be able to get them up for awhile. They are… so… MY cats. Cuddly and affectionate and playful and funny and purring all the time. They’ve been sooooo good, especially the past few days now that they are used to having me around again. They leave me alone to work when I am on the computer, and don’t keep me awake by pouncing on me all night. They still curl up on me every chance they get, though!! I love it.

Yesterday I went to physio over at the hospital which turned out to be just a meeting with an O.T. because they were so late… I arrived before 1:00, told reception I had a 1:00 with Erin, and was told to go sit down and they would let her know I was there. 40 minutes later I returned to the desk and let them know I had been waiting for over half an hour. Erin came to get me and said she never heard the page earlier. I had Access booked to pick me up so we had to hurry it along. I answered the same questions I have answered a million times over the past two months, and will have to keep answering because Home Care is also sending an O.T to visit me here (he keeps cancelling… now we are scheduled for Tuesday) and the MS Clinic’s therapy team wants me going there too, my first appointment is September 1. I am demanding long term treatment this time, there has got to be a place I can go for physio on a regular basis to help my MS.

My brother came by on Tuesday, which was a Godsend. He helped me get my scooter out to the mall so I could buy tickets for my Access rides, and stock up on granola bars for easy to reach lunches! (My mom is making me a bunch of sandwiches and bringing them by later to assist in that department as well. I’ve got the food thing covered). He also bought me dinner in the food court and I got my latte before heading home. Once here, he cleaned out the cat boxes really well, took out the garbage and gave my apartment the best vacuuming it has ever experienced in the three years I have lived here. He took a good hour to do it!

So other than that, my days around here have pretty much consisted of getting out of bed when Home Care buzzes, getting showered and dressed, making a coffee, spending time at the computer getting work done and emails, using my walker to get around and feed myself, feed the cats, trying not to make a mess or drop anything, watching TV, talking on the phone, and resting. Nothing too exciting. AH dropped by today for a few minutes, and my mom and Bob are coming by after work. They’re heading off camping (in their new motorhome!) this weekend so they’re coming to see me today instead. They will change my bedsheets, drop off/pick up laundry, and help me with whatever around here. I am so blessed to have all this help, I am soooo lucky! I wish I could win the lottery so I could book a private cruise ship or something for my family and friends (and me!) to take off for a couple weeks and paaaartay. Ohhh that would be fun!

Speaking of fun and partying, on Saturday I’ll be heading out to my buddy Jason’s for the day, he’s got some live music happenin’ in his back yard. There are quite a few people hoping to see me there and willing to help me get around with my big walker! That will be fun. I miss those guys (the Polyjesters) and Terra Hazelton will be there too, so yay! I wish I was in better shape for this, but no matter what it’s going to be good for me. Sunshine, fresh air, music, good friends and TONS of laughter does a body good.

Ahhh it’s good to be home. Even though it’s a real struggle to do every little thing, it’s good for me to be trying. I can see an improvement just in the few days I have been home - the walking I have to do around here is helping. I won’t even take one step without my walker, though!! Lesson learned.

Rob left this morning. I love him and want to keep him. We had a lot of fun hanging out, but aside from that he did so many little things that were such a great help to me. Here is a run down:

• Walking beside/behind me every step, putting my walker in the van, helping with doors, etc.
• Swept up the broken glass from a dish I broke and all this stuff I dropped while trying to arrange my freezer at one o’clock in the morning;
• Brought a fresh pineapple, sliced it all up, served me some (and himself), and left the rest in my fridge for me;
• Said “we have to get you a latte” on Saturday and helped me get my scooter out so we could go to the mall. We stopped in the Sears tire centre and he helped the guy put air in my flattened scooter tires. He helped me get whatever I needed off the shelves in Walmart, carried my latte home, unloaded all the shopping bags and put my stuff away. etc.
• He cleaned the cat litter boxes;
• He didn’t mind that I wanted to go to a trendy Chain restaurant that I like for dinner because I had a hankerin’ for their foccaccia cheese toast and Moxie size bellinis, and he wouldn’t let me contribute anything to the bill afterwards;
• He helped me get up from the low seated booth;
• He poured the wine and brought me cereal (yes, at the same time - late night snack!) while we listened to all kinds of music;
• He recorded a wonderful message off my phone that I’ve had in my voice mail from Susan Jeffers for years and made it into an MP3 so I finally have a real copy of it and can delete it from my archives!!
• He asked questions and listened to me talk until my speech started slurring (from MS, not the wine!)
• He washed all my dishes, took out the garbage, opened water bottles, etc.
• He gave me one of his T-shirts;
• He was very gracious (as always) to my parents and the friends of mine he met while he was here.

I could go on. He is so awesome and I’m so glad we have become friends. He (also) really wants me to go to Montreal next month and will do anything he can to help, but of course it depends on my health and finances. His girlfriend works in the hotel business and can most likely get me a deal on a room (Em and I will stay downtown on the weekend). Oh, and his show on Friday night was great too! A few girls arrived at the end and only caught a couple songs. They were upset because it took them “all night to find where he was” and they had heard him on CKUA radio and wanted to see him so badly! So he played another set.

Different women from Home Care have been coming in every morning to help me shower/dress and stuff. I said to Rob, “now every person who has been in my apartment this weekend has seen me naked except you”. Hehe (even my friend Andrea, who came by yesterday and brought me more clothes - she helped me change into the clothes she brought me at the care centre that day lol). I have no modesty left. I’ll strip for any stranger that walks in haha

So yes, Andrea brought me more clothes. A couple pairs of pants and several tops. I reminded her there are these things called “receipts” that you can use to return clothes you decide you don’t actually want when you take them home. She says she never keeps them and can’t be bothered with store credit. So, you know, this is working in my favour. I wore a pair of pants and a white top she gave me out for dinner last night (Rob said I looked “like an angel” when the sun shone on me! Tee hee hee I WANT TO KEEP HIM). I can’t believe she doesn’t keep these clothes, they are totally casual and stylish and brand new!!

Speaking of friends that do things for me and give me stuff, (of which I have so many, I could cry sometimes when I think about y’all) when I was at the Pub on Friday for Rob’s show, at the end of the night I asked the bartender to check the freezer for food with my name on it - Christine said she was making me some meals I would just need to heat up and that they’d be waiting for me. The bartender came out with this big box full of trays of lasagna, chicken alfredo, chicken pot pies, panini sandwiches, hamburger patties… enough food to overload my freezer (hence the 1:00 a.m. re-arrangement mentioned above) and keep me stuffed for a good two weeks!! A m a z i n g .

I got a pot pie in the oven, so I am outta here. Wrist rest required!