Can You Hear Me Now?

• Elaine named the bear I gave her “Care Free”. That is just so like her to do that.
• Cat fight in the dining room. One old lady with a broken foot and her leg lifted straight out in her wheelchair, hit another old lady in the knee when she pulled herself to her table. “OUCH!! YOU HIT MY KNEE!” “Oh, it wasn’t THAT hard!” “YES IT WAS! That’s my bad knee!” “Well, THAT’S MY BROKEN FOOT!” “Owwwww!!” “Owwwwww!!” and back and forth.
• Blanche found a mobile dentist that will fit her for new teeth. She still hasn’t found the ring, but she believes she will. She is in desperate need of a good sleep and is not looking so good and acting a little irrational. She’s still a sweetie, though.
• AH picked me up some mini-donuts when he went to the Stampede over the weekend. I don’t even care if his kids eat them and they never get to me… just the fact that he did that is enough. A little thoughtfulness goes a loooong way with me!
• Advice from a 90 year old awesome lady: “I recommend all young people, after they have finished their University courses that give them the direction they will be going in life, that they take a minimum of a year - even two - to just TRAVEL.”
• I am so worried about Lebanon, for AH and all the family he has over there.
• Karen is working tonight, but they are so short staffed she has to run around and do the LPN’s job of passing out the meds all evening so I can’t sit and yak with her!
• Jason sent me a text message from Montana that the Polyjesters are “thinking of me”. Well, that’s nice and all, but get your arses back here and give me a private show!! Geez.

~ Skip this part if you can’t handle Poop talk ~

Constipation is a real problem in this place. Everyone is on laxatives/prunes/prune juice etc. I don’t know if it’s all the medications people are taking (many have codeine, which is constipating, but I’m on plain Tylenol so that’s not my excuse!) or the upset in routine or something they put in the food, or what. I just know I eat prunes every day, drink prune juice almost every day, and still need Senekot. Anyway, Elaine hasn’t had one in awhile so they were giving her a suppository today. The nurse said “here, first let me check how much you’ve got in there”. I asked (I am in the bed beside her, I hear all) “how do you do that?” “With my FINGER, just like in the movies!” as she puts on a glove. Shiver. “Ah, Donna”, she said, “I’m gonna get you with this before you leave!” Later on I was lying on my side, and she walked by and said “you’re in the perfect position for me to insert my dart!” LOL I better learn to run soon.

~ Okay, that’s all ~

So I got to thinking about what Andrea may have been talking about regarding the surprises she and her hubby each got. I forgot that they have a couple vehicles and bought his and her cars awhile back too… I figured it may not be pets after all, but something more like motorcycles!

When Andrea showed up, she told me they didn’t have them today… they had just come from visiting someone else and spent more time than they thought they would. She told me to guess what they were, and her hint was “they make a lot of noise”. “PUPPIES?” I asked hopefully. She laughed. “Okay, motorcycles”. Yeah, that was right. But since they didn’t have them today, they said they’d bring them by next week, take pictures of me on them, and email them to my mom and freak her out. “Look what Donna’s doing now!”

After they left, I lied down and put my feet up for awhile. Suddenly I heard faint “help. help. help.” coming from up the hall. It sounded like Clive. No one was responding, so I rang my bell. As the nurse came into my room, she heard the yelp and raced in that direction. Two more nurses came to respond to my bell and then raced to Clive’s room before someone finally shut mine off lol Clive wasn’t at dinner… he fell in the bathroom. He is supposed to get help to go, but he tried on his own. I personally think he wanted to try and prove he is independent and not too much trouble for his wife to care for. He was talking about that again at lunch today. Now he has probably set himself back a bit, but at least he didn’t break anything.

Blanche lost her mom’s wedding ring. First, her teeth, and now, this. I love the lady, but I have to say the woman’s room is a MESS and gets worse every time I see it. I hope she manages to find this one (the teeth are a lost cause) but I kind of doubt it… The nurses kept the cleaning lady out of her room and spent two hours in there going through her crap looking for it. She was a little teary at dinner (which was ham, and it was salty enough without her tears!) because she is driving the staff crazy and they are starting to let her know it. She is always wanting food to take back to her room, and days later that same nurse will be throwing out the moldy food. So now they won’t let her take any, so she’s upset. She refuses to do any physio or help herself in any way, and that is frustrating for the staff, since this place is for rehab and recovery, not just to take care of you forever. Blanche’s daughter wants her moved to a nursing home, but Blanche insists she is going home, whether she gets any better or not. “They can’t tell me I CAN’T go back to my OWN home, it’s my life and if I fall and end it two days later, that’s my problem”. Sigh. The nurse told me last night she won’t be going home, because she is a risk for others. She will smoke there, and she falls asleep in her chair all the time and is sure to start a fire. She lives in a lodge where other rooms can catch fire, too. That is the big reason her daughter will not let her go home (and her daughter does have final say). So that seems to be that… I am the only person I know here that will actually end up back in her real home!

This morning I was woken up extra early because they are training a new nurse and wanted her to start with the “nice people”. So I was dressed and ready by 7:45 a.m. I went down and got a GOOD coffee before breakfast. Today they served their infamous rubber eggs. I don’t know how they do it… they call them “scrambled” but it’s like they pour the eggs in a baking pan to cook and then cut them into pieces. We end up with this little rubber ball beside our toast. I don’t think anyone eats them.

Yesterday was a very full day. My parents picked me up after breakfast and we all went to our chiropractor. We had a hell of a time getting in there, because a BIG Stampede Breakfast was being held in the mall’s parking lot so no vehicles were allowed. Between my situation and my mom’s, we MUST park closer, so some men in yellow shirts moved barricades and got us to a close parking stall. Ah, the power of the handicapped parking pass.

It was sooooo good to get a nice massage and work done on my shoulders, neck, arms and hips. I can totally feel a difference and slept better last night. He gave me some supplements to help the swelling in my feet, I’d rather take his herbs/vitamins than the drugs they want me on here!

After that we went to find a place to eat. Mom and Bob hadn’t eaten yet, and Bob was set on getting a real breakfast somewhere. Well, you try finding a breakfast-y place that isn’t lined up outside the door on a Saturday morning during Stampede week! We drove all over the place. We found ourselves getting closer to my neighbourhood and I wanted to stop at Shoppers Drug Mart for some stuff, so mom and I went there while Bob went to find a restaurant nearby that we could actually get into.

I wanted to shop for Elaine. She came here straight from the hospital (like we all do), but unlike others she doesn’t have anyone to go back to her place and get her things. We have already supplied her with kleenix, but I also wanted to get her a few other things. So I picked up some Polident for her dentures and the Dove soap she really likes (pink/white striped). Then, because I know she loves to read, my mom and I went through tons of paperbacks trying to figure out what she might like. We ended up with a best selling mystery or something, and a National Geographic magazine. Lastly, there were these absolutely adorable soft white teddy bears I couldn’t resist. She really loves my soft baby seal and the kitty Blanche got me, so I think she needs her own.

Bob found us a restaurant next door, a little hole in the wall greasy spoon place that allows smoking (yuck), but has great food at great prices. I had Chinese food… it’s been a long time since I’ve had that! Yum. And Bob got his all-day breakfast.

We were finally at my apartment by about 2:00. No Christine to be seen. She left me a message… the morning before she returned to her original host. I couldn’t believe it!! After all that trouble and panic, getting AH to bring my keys down and take her to my place and make sure she had a place to stay, she went back the next morning. I told her to get the keys back to me because now I have to get them to AH again. I feel so bad. Not to mention that I told Lisa and Russ they don’t have to worry about the kitties anymore, and then I turn around the next day and tell them they do. Why did I even bother lol Oh, right, because she is my friend and I love her and everyone gets confused sometimes. Especially when it comes to men, that I know for sure!

Anyway, my kitties are fine and cute and playful and affectionate. Lisa bought them a toy on an elastic-y string with a little bird on the end that chirps when touched. Sooooooooo fun!!! The toys on those kinds of strings are the best. They fling so high when they escape from the cat’s claws, and the cats do back flips trying to catch it again. My mom was having a riot with that, but I really wanted a shower, so she finally put the toys away and told the cats “sorry, don’t be mad at Grandma, it’s your mom’s fault, you have a MEAN MOMMY!” lol

So my mom helped me take a shower in myyyy ownnnn shower with myyyy ownnnnn stuff. It felt sooooo good and I felt sooooo amazing afterwards. I smelled like me again! Even right after a shower here, I don’t feel like me and I still smell like hospital.

We got me back here around supper time, but I was still so full from that big lunch that I skipped it and went to my room. My mom and I placed Elaine’s things on her bed. When she returned, she went through everything and was so appreciative. She didn’t notice the bear right away. When she did, she exclaimed “ohh!! I have a little friend!!” She looooved him, as do all the nurses (he gets cuter and softer the more you hold him) and now she is telling people she gave birth lol

The rest of the night I stayed in and rested with my feet up… long day, I was tired and my feet are still puffy! My friend Andrea called and said she’d be by this afternoon with a big surprise that will “knock your socks off”. I need to meet them at the front door to see, so I have a feeling there are little pets involved! I bet her and her husband each got a kitten or a puppy or something. Heehee!

Anyway, I need a decent cup of coffee. It’s not even 10:00 a.m. on Sunday. Normal people are just getting up!!

• Ken came by to see me last night but no one could find me (I was over here! Everyone should know that about me by now! “Where is the computer?” Just ask that).
• Blanche was at breakfast before me, stop the presses!!
• AH came at 2:00 with another French vanilla/half coffee. I thanked him for all his help yesterday, “not that you minded”. “OH, no, not at all!” he said. hehe
• I haven’t heard from Christine yet today; I hope she hasn’t abandoned my kitties! Russ, did your friend steal her?
• 2:30 was Friday ice cream time. This time we got a few scoops of the good stuff. Sorry you got stiffed last week, Michelle!
• The Rec. Aide was showing me the tattoo on her lower back, a red, black and blue dragon. Elaine was sitting next to me and said, “I have those colours on my body too, but in a different shape”. LOL
• The O.T. gave me some wrist/hand exercises to practice over the weekend. She thinks it is more realistic to think closer to 2 weeks before I go, just to make sure I am fully weight bearing.
• Then my doctor came in (the one I fired, but no one took that seriously and I don’t care anyway, I’m only using him for his painkillers) and said there is no hurry to get me home, “we like having you here”. And I know that is actually true, but I’m not staying longer than needed just because the staff like me haha!
• I am going to see my chiropractor tomorrow for the first time in weeks. I can’t wait!
• I walked lots again today.
• Elaine found out today that she won’t be able to move back into her lodge (where she has lived for years and made many friends); she will need to move into another one, with wheelchair accessibility. She is such a trooper though, taking it so well. One day I need to write an entire entry about her, she is one of the most amazing and inspirational women I have ever met.
• Karen is working an extra shift tonight

Today was an eventful day!

I used the walker and walked everywhere all day, even to this end a couple of times. I didn’t even start using my wheelchair until 7:30 p.m.

After breakfast I went to check on Blanche. The empty space at our table is noticeable and the lost bottom dentures excuse is getting tired! IT’S YOUR BOTTOMS. No one cares and the nurses aren’t impressed that they need to serve her meals in her room for that reason! Anyway, she told me she is okay and would be there at lunch. And she was!

It was our “Stampede Lunch”. Yahooooo!! We ate BBQ beef on a bun, potato salad and baked beans. They brought in a guy to sing country songs and play the guitar and fiddle… he was quite good actually, and the coolest part is that he was totally blind, too. Like the fiddle isn’t hard enough to play in the first place!!

After lunch I started emailing some media to set up more interviews for Rob’s tour. FFWD is doing an article this time! Woo hoo! I hope I can get him some decent coverage. Perhaps I should use the “I am emailing you from the hospital” line for sympathy interviews.

My friend Christine is visiting from Quebec, where she moved to in November. I called her this afternoon and I could tell by the tone of her voice that somethng was up. She asked to call me later. When she did, I realized the situation where she is staying while here isn’t working out when she tearily asked “um… who is looking after your cats?” I said “do you want to stay in my apartment?” and she said yes. So, I told her to get her bags and head over to the hospital and I’d figure out a way to get my keys for her. AH has mine, Lisa has my spares, my mom and Bob have a set and I have none lol

So, I called AH and he said he could meet her at my apartment later as it would be waaaay out of his way to grab her from here after work (he was finishing at the most opposite end of the city). So I called Lisa and left a message, then called Russ to see what they were up to. Off to Phantom of the Opera, they were!! Lucky buggers. Anyway, Russ said worst case scenario they could grab her after that if nothing else worked out.

Christine got here around 4:30 and planted her suitcases in my room. We went for supper downstairs and caught up on life. We haven’t talked much while she has been gone, as she has been crazy busy with school and work. Around 6:00 I called AH to find out when he’d be finished, as Christine would just take a cab to my apartment and meet him there. AH ended up saying he would come and get her, since at this point she was planning to just take a cab anyway, he may as well get the fare! Plus he’s just nice that way.

So AH picked her up (another friend meets AH! I see a trend here) and I asked him to please take her inside and properly introduce her to my kitties and show her where all the cat stuff is. We hugged goodbye, (I’ll see Christine on Saturday when I go home for the day) and 45 minutes later AH called me: “Im in loooooooooove!!!!” Yeah, I’ve told you I have a young, beautiful, sweet French friend! “Yeah, but I didn’t think she’d be THAT beautiful!” Yeah, you and every other man that meets her. I just wish she could see it!! I reminded AH that he is married and even if he wasn’t, he’s not allowed to date my friends. hehe

So, now it is time to put my splint back on and rest the wrist. Karen is working again, so I’m gonna go bug her.

I AM a super special ultra speedy healer!! I GOT MY CAST OFF TODAY! I had to beg a little (as the doctor said, “I’m a little worried you may try to do too much and…” Who. ME?!) but I left with a removable splint, two weeks earlier than he told me I would last time. Yeehaw! He said I can remove it to do non-weight bearing activities and let pain be my guide to how much I can do. Over the next two weeks I can do more and more and then toss it. So, my goal is to be HOME for good a week from Saturday. Nobody here seems to think that is too unreasonable, but it is very important I don’t push it and that I really can do everything I did before on my own first. Blah, blah, blah.

The patient transport driver that took me to the hospital is the same one that drove a bunch of us wheel-chaired folk when I was here four years ago, on a little field trip to Peter’s Drive Inn for burgers and shakes. We got talking about that, reminiscing about the people on that ride and onion rings. She also picked me up to take me back here, and somehow I managed to end up with onion rings from Peter’s for my lunch. I’m not supposed to reveal how that came about, so you’ll have to guess.

When I returned (after a little rest, because spending hours waiting and riding around on a non-air conditioned bus kinda leaves me unable to function for a bit) I visited the physio department. Karen (P.T., not R.N.) unwrapped my splint and gave my arm and hand a nice wash and massaged lotion all over it to get rid of most of that dry skin that accumulates. Ahhhhhhh, the freedom of AIR!!! She showed me some exercises to start doing, and found me a regular 4-wheeled walker I can use now. I told her that is easier for me than the tall one they put together for me, and promised not to press down hard with my left hand. I just want to be able to get up and go from my room on foot more often (without a nurse assisting me) before my right leg forgets it can walk. I still need my wheelchair to get to the computer and far off places, but I feel more independent with the walker.

I got my period today. Try getting that in a place where everyone else is post-menopause. I may as well be wearing Depends.

Karen (R.N.) works tonight! Yay!

Blanche still hasn’t come out of her room because she can’t find her teeth.

Update after supper (read the below part first): I was at supper with Clive, awaiting Blanche’s arrival, when the nurse came and removed her coffee mug. “She’s not coming”. I looked all worried. “Do you know what happened?” she asked me. I said “well, I saw her after lunch, and she’d had a rough night and morning, nose bleeds and stuff, and she was really weak. She hoped she would be okay for supper. Is she doing really bad?” The nurse looked at me funny. “She’s not coming because she can’t find her bottom dentures and doesn’t want anyone to see her like that.”

Drive by shooting through a bedroom window in my neighbourhood last night (news is on in the background). Wonderful.

This morning I attended my usual seated exercise class. We were supposed to straighten one leg, then lift it a little bit and hold. This teeny tiny little old lady named Brenda threw her leg up so high she fipped her robe over her head. Then we were to lift our knee up, towards our chest. You know those petite women who can bend their knees, bring their feet up and set their entire body on the seat of a stool or chair? There may be some of you reading (I’m looking at you, Lisa). That’s Brenda. She was cracking everyone up with her flexibility, and she didn’t understand why we were laughing. “I’m just doing what she’s telling us to!” Well, we can see your panties! It’s not very often you see a 90 year old contortionist. I figure she must have been a gymnast/ballerina/Cirque de Soleil performer at one time.

Shortly before lunch, AH showed up with a Tim Horton’s French Vanilla/half coffee for me He hung out with me for awhile and then walked me to the dining room for lunch. We had samosas today with rice and a spicy curry mango chutney (or a fruit plate). After listening to Elaine talk about how much she loves Ethnic food all the time, including Indian, I called out to her table to try the samosas. “You’ll like them Elaine, if you like ethnic food!” Most people here go “what are samosas?” and take the fruit. So, Elaine listened to me, got the samosas, and after lunch I found her in the bathroom feeling sick. Oops.

I have now been here long enough that all the weekly menus are on repeat. The samosas were here my first week and show up every four weeks. So I have now sampled all the menu items here at Le Chateau Green Beans. (I can make fun of it too).

At lunch, Clive told me about his meeting with the doctor this morning. He doesn’t think it went very well. “We just want to be together”, he says of him and his wife. Sooooo sad. Then he said “But I don’t have nearly the struggles or cross to bear that you do”. He thinks that my situation with having MS is much worse than his. I guess because I am so much younger and have so much longer to live with it. No sense in starting a “who’s got it worse” argument, but I know I’m in a better position than him!

Blanche wasn’t at breakfast or lunch, so I was worried about her. I went to the little store downstairs and bought her a little white angel pin (she wears a lot of white) that is for luck and protection and brought it up to give it to her. She was in her room, but at least sitting up in her chair. She said she’d had a very rough night and day so far, and was really sick; had nose bleeds and stuff, but should be at dinner. I left her alone because I know she doesn’t like to talk when she’s not well. I hope she’s at dinner.

This afternoon they were holding a “memory aerobics” gathering in the West side (where this computer is) so I decided to stay in the East side. The last time I overheard memory aerobics I knew all the answers so I didn’t think it would be fair to join in. Heh. So, I am sitting over there chatting with 85 year old Ellen, when the young Rec. Aide comes over. She is one of those petite, cute, perky people you either think is adorable, or she drives you crazy. I think she is adorable in small doses. Ellen whispered to me “I can’t stand that woman, I came over here to avoid her, she’s always riding my ASS!” LOL The Rec Aide decided to hold memory aerobics on our end, because no one was on the West side waiting for it. Immediately Ellen got up and said (to me) “I am outta here, it seems no matter where I go I can’t escape her” lol So I felt pressured, once again, to sit through one of her classes. And listen to her talk about her troubles trying to gain weight (food was one of the topics, so it came up) - her doctor wants to see four more pounds on her size zero frame, but “my metabolism is so high I have such a hard time”. OH, GO AWAY. I knowwwww it’s difficult to gain weight for some people, but when you have a cute, curvy figure like her (not boney at all), and no eating disorder keeping you thin, I am gonna have a hard time not hating you if you complain in my general vicinity.

There were only a couple people at the table joining in, and we got most of the answers except some of the weird stuff non-cooks like me would never know, like “a soup made from potatoes and leeks” Um… potato leek soup? No. Vichysoisse).

Anyway, it’s almost time to head down for supper and IT’S MY SHOWER NIGHT, so that’s my exciting evening. Tomorrow I’m up early to go for x-rays. Fingers crossed that I get special permission to remove my cast after only 4-1/2 weeks instead of 6. Ha.

Two entries today! That makes up for no entry yesterday or the day before.

This afternoon me and a few others helped the Rec. Aide make Stampede decorations for the tables (my job was to stick the little foam hats, cowboy boots, horses, etc. onto straws and staple them so they can put them in vases). I stole a purple cowboy hat one and gave it to Elaine. She always says she wants to wear a purple hat “when she gets old” and she makes me think of that Erma Bombeck writing. I know it wasn’t quite the purple hat she is talking about, but it’s the best I could do right now!

Elaine has lived her whole 90 years in Calgary. She told me that anything above 20th Ave. NW didn’t even exist, and the cemetary down South MacLeod used to be a couple of dairy farms. I even remember when the Calgary Tower was this BIG TALL thing way up there in the middle of a downtown that had no other tall buildings. Now it is surrounded by buildings almost towering over it and you can barely see it at some angles. And the building/growth continues everywhere around here!

See the red top of that skinny tower? Soon it will be buried completely.

Poor Clive is worried about a meeting he is having tomorrow with a few doctors/therapists. I think this is his “what to do with you now” meeting. His wife has moved into senior’s housing, but she’s got her own health issues that are not compatible with Clive’s, so he most likely can’t live with her again. What a scary position to be in. I like to live in a dream world and believe I will simply die in the arms of the man I love while we sleep peacefully, or die simultaneously (quickly and painlessly) in a terrorist attack; not being the partial cause of his nervous breakdown, and living in a nursing home while he lives in another place. Just waiting it out while people you don’t even know wipe your butt. Blanche and her husband are like that too, he is in a nursing home and needs to be locked up, because he’s not all there in the head snd tries to escape. Once they found him wandering up 16th Avenue. Not to mention Elaine, who has outlived everyone and is all alone. I could go on and on.

I.DO.NOT.WANT.TO.GET.OLD.

p.s. Take care of yourself. Seriously. Eat right and exercise and take your vitamins and drink your water.

p.p.s. On a happier note, there is a 92 year old woman here who awaits a phone call from her 93 year old ex-boyfriend in Edmonton every night. Aw.