The Princess and the Pee
July 26th, 2006
Around 3:00 a.m. the night nurse came in to re-stock towels by my sink. Knowing it would be my last chance to see her (she’s not working tonight), I called her over so we could have a proper goodbye. We chatted for a few minutes, I thanked her for all her help, etc. and then she left my room, never to be seen again. Or so I thought.
I realized I had to pee, very badly. So I did my usual… raised the bed up so it’s easier to stand, then stand up, and then I was to get in my wheelchair and roll into the bathroom. But instead, when I stood up my left ankle decided to give out on me, so I landed back on the bed… except just the very edge of the bed, and then I slid onto the floor. I swear I didn’t feel a thing and don’t really know how it happened exactly, but there I was, sitting on the floor next to my bed.
I was trying to figure out if there was a way I could get up by myself, but no go. I needed to turn onto my knees and would not be able to do that without using my wrist because the bed was too high. So I rang the bell for the nurse. I still had to pee, really badly now, so while waiting I remembered the bed pan was in the bottom drawer behind me. I pulled it out, stuck it under me, and let it go.
The nurse I had just said my big farewell to walked in, saw me sitting on the floor with a pan of pee under me and a chesire grin on my face. The look on her face was, to say the least, priceless.
Anyway, with the help of another nurse and a transfer belt we got me up without any trouble. I just needed the bed lowered so I could climb on it, really! Just as I was all snuggled up to go back to sleep, the nurse came in again to take my blood pressure and vitals because, you know, if anything out of the ordinary happens they need to make sure you’re not all of a sudden at death’s door!
I’m fine, I will live, don’t worry mom!
Uh oh-you gotta be SUPER careful when you get home with that ankle of yours..that fall is what got you in the carecenter in the FIRST place!! lol
You are soooo graceful! I would have probably peed on the floor.
That’s classic, Donna! The picture conjured up is just great, especially for those of us who know what it’s like to deal with a less than trustworthy bladder, lol. I’m so glad you’re doing so well and that the wrist is healing.
good job catching the pee!! lol
You aren’t trying to stay in the hospital now are you?
You have such a good approach to things, darn thing you didn’t have any more frappacino’s in that bottom drawer, you could have had a treat while you waited.
Well, only you could manage that - I don’t think I could have; I would have peed everywhere? Don’t worry????? Who do you think you are talking to???? I’m so glad Shawna is there with you this week……………I wish I could be there every minute to make sure you’re okay, but I know that is impossible. Even if I lived right next door I couldn’t prevent something like that happening. It really sounds kind of funny though! We’ll see you on Saturday a.m.; MJ hasn’t given me an appointment time yet. Hope your “you know what” is better now. Did you eat the spaghetti sauce, or did you order in? Say “Hi” to Shawna and tell he I’m looking forward to meeting her on the week-end.
Love, Mom