Can You Hear Me Now?

• You know you’re old when Hollywood starts releasing remakes of old movies… and you went and saw the original when it was first released to theatres back in “the day”. First there was Amityville Horror, and more recently I shouted “Noooooo!!!” at the TV screen when I saw the commercial for the Bad News Bears. What next? Blue Lagoon? Little Darlings?? Stop remaking my childhood, Hollywood.
• You know you are dedicated to going to your Weight Watchers meeting when your only form of transportation, your mobility scooter, dies on you when you are way across the parking lot and half way over the LRT (train) ramp; yet you manage to get it home, call a taxi, and arrive at your meeting just in time.
• You know you’re a ditz when you realize that the reason your scooter died in the first place is because your battery charger has been unplugged from the wall ever since the cleaning lady was last here and must have removed it, so every night that you have been plugging the charger into the scooter it hasn’t been doing a damn thing.
• You know you’re good at writing business plans when your client writes you back with “WOW!” in the subject after you email it to him.
• You know it’s going to be “one of those days” when a 10 minute chiropractor appointment turns into a three-and-a-half hour waiting/driving festival with Access Calgary.
• You know you’ve got it goin’ ON when the Access Calgary driver practically has an accident because he can’t seem to take his eyes off you long enough to look at the road.
• You know you’re serious about weight loss when you say “no” to an extra piece of Moxie’s focaccia cheese toast, which is only your favourite thing on their menu (besides the desserts. But we won’t go there).
• You know everything is going to be okay when you said “no” to focaccia cheese toast and didn’t feel icicles forming at your feet which proves, in fact, that Hell did not freeze over.
• You know you’re cool when teenagers that don’t have to like you actually do, and even want to hang out with you in public and everything.
• You know you’re a nerd when you get hours of entertainment out of Google, Googlism, and Wikipedia.
• You know you have good karma when a friend calls because she has a “delivery” for you, and shows up with a gorgeous leather La-Z-Boy recliner in perfect condition and just gives it to you because she doesn’t have room for it, and doesn’t expect a damn thing in return.
• You know you have a retail therapy problem when you are sorting through things you want to sell at a yard sale, and realize that a lot of the things you can sell are still in their original packaging.
• You know you’re clumsy when you cut your thumb while using the chopper you bought to prevent you from having accidents in the kitchen and cutting yourself.
• You know you are determined when every day you go to meditate and try to get to the Alpha State but are unable to, yet continue to try every day, believing one day the elusive Alpha Level of Mind awaits you and everything you desire will be within reach. Hee!
• You know you can make a difference when the person you have been voting for the past two weeks on Rock Star: INXS hasn’t been in the bottom three, and she was before you started voting. Yes. You are welcome, Suzie girl, rock on sistah!
• You know you’re Donna when you don’t know how to end your blog entry so you have to ask Emma.

I just realized it has been an entire year since I started this blog. In that time I have written 120 posts (121!), received 292 comments, and now average about 400-500 hits/day. A lot of those hits are probably spam robots, but whatever. Spam Karma keeps them from commenting, so all hits are welcome! The entry that gets the most hits is this one. Louise Hay draws ‘em in!

I need a haircut soooooo badly!! I don’t want to fork over the dough to see Ghazi right now, so I went to book an appointment with my favourite cheap reasonably priced hairdresser today, and she’s not working until Thursday, when I won’t be around. So I booked a pedicure for Tuesday instead. If the top of me has to look like shit, at least the bottom won’t! I think that is a sign to get down to Ghazi this week, though. Hmmm… Read the rest of this entry »

Today I am bitchy.

While working on this business plan today, my computer decided to crash on me several times in a row. Since my computer is slow as molasses no matter what I’m doing, the whole restarting/reloading of programs and documents just to have it crash again is very time consuming and FRUSTRATING AS HELL. So after swearing at my computer many times (have you ever read this entry by Robyn? Ahahaha that was me today!) I decided I better just leave the house before I explode. I hopped on my scooter to go get myself a (3.5 Point) vanilla cone from McDonalds. Now, lately I have needed to keep my right eye closed if I want to see only one of everything, so that can make driving my scooter hazardous if someone sneaks up on me from my right. I haven’t had an accident yet, but it could happen. As I was pulling up onto the sidewalk outside Sears, there was a couple that came out of nowhere (for me) on my right. I stopped immediately and didn’t even come close to hitting them. They both stopped in their tracks and stared at me as I turned my scooter and kept going. I heard the woman mumble something rude under her breath about my pathetic existence. Read the rest of this entry »

You know you eat at Edo Japan too much when the staff ring in and start making your order when you’re still a good 20 feet away.

As promised, my life has been very uneventful since my last entry, but I can always find things to ramble about so I’m updating anyway.

A couple weeks ago, Fred posted an entry in his journal with pictures he took on a hike. He told us if we wanted the full size versions of any of them to just email and ask him. He took a picture of what appeared to be a little sunflower (turned out to be a daisy, but whatever, it looks like a sunflower to me!) so I asked him for that one, and he sent it to me along with a couple more. THEN he went out the next day and took more sunflower-y type pictures FOR ME. He sent me an email with links to where I could download them. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s Stampede time again in Calgary, but you wouldn’t know it from where I am, safely behind my computer holed up in my office. I tend to hibernate this time of the year, like most true Calgarians that don’t have visitors in from out of town. I haven’t heard one person say they are going to the grounds this year! I hear the fireworks every night, but I’m far enough away that they won’t wake me up if I’m already asleep. Apparently the mall next door held their Stampede Breakfast this morning, but I didn’t hear a thing… I must sleep like a rock. Either that, or they passed on the marching band this year. Read the rest of this entry »

Today there was a little ugly flying insect in my bathroom that I managed to grab with tissue and flush down the toilet. I’m not so sure I squished him to death first though. Do you ever do that? Then worry that he survived, and after being exposed to the toxic substances in the sewage system, he will grow 100 times bigger, crawl back out of your toilet in the middle of the night, and eat your face?

Saturday turned out a little different than we had planned. Mom and Bob picked me up at 8:00 a.m. (yuck) and we all had chiropractor appointments. Then it was off to visit some family friends, Andrea and Roger. It ended up being a day of Extreme Shopping and Donna Scores a Whole Lotta Free Stuff. As soon as I walked in the door Andrea handed me her White Stripes CD. “Here, you can hate this as much as I do”. I have heard a lot about White Stripes the past few months (especially since Renee Zellweger married Kenny Chesney so quickly, after having dated Jack White for two years or something) but haven’t actually heard any of their music I don’t think. So no opinion yet, as I haven’t listened to it. I’m certainly not going to turn down a free CD, though! Read the rest of this entry »

I watched “Bye Bye Blues” on TV last night. That is one of my all-time favourite movies, or at least at the top of my Canadian made films. It was released in 1989 and I originally watched it for Michael Ontkean because I had a bit of a Twin Peaks-y crush on him. He is hardly in it though, and what ended up drawing me to it was the music. It’s about a woman (played by Rebecca Jenkins) who becomes the lead singer in a jazz/swing/blues big band in Northern Alberta in the 1940’s to support her family, when her husband goes off to war. I think that’s pretty much what I must have done in a previous life. I fell so in love with the music I promptly bought the soundtrack (on vinyl) and played it alllll the time, belting out the songs as if I were Daisy Cooper myself. Read the rest of this entry »