Can You Hear Me Now?

I now have access to the statistics for my blog… how many hits/unique readers, how long they stayed, what they’re reading, what/who brought them here, etc. I also know who you are all bwahahaha! Kind of. IP addresses can reveal a lot about a person sometimes if you know how to dig! I have a lot more readers than I thought… just over two months has brought in 1,849 unique visitors, many who even stayed over an hour. So few comments and notify list subscribers though… I wonder if spammers register in the visitors category?? Heh. That would explain a lot. I like to see the searches people did that brought them here… some of my favourites are:

• LOTS of music… every artist I have ever mentioned in here has been searched and linked to here… I mean every single one! All variations of their names, band members, songs and everything. Glad to know there’s lots of fans out there!
• Someone was looking for my hairdresser. Comment here if you really are looking for him, he has his own salon now and his old one isn’t telling people where!
• Many variations of the words “N@te Berkus, Br@d Pitt, Pothe@d” (I have a feeling N@te may have got a wrist slap for that one. The girl who wrote about it removed it from her blog later the same day I found it!).
• Is my boyfriend gay?
• Lick my own nipple
• I’m in love with my best friend
• Wheelchair xxx porn (Wha? Huh? How?)
• Wife xxx sex amateur picture (Wha? Huh? How?)
• How to get a body like Beyonce (no answers here, sorry)
• Artificial hair implants
• My friend’s sexy feet
• Cindy Crawford getting vitamin shots
• Best lasagna in Calgary (actually, it was Medicine Hat at my friend Kim’s house, but thanks for looking). Pictures of breadsticks was requested too. Kim, you’re famous!
• Teri Hatcher needs a pedicure
• If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
• Have fun with lipstick Lisa (Hee!)
• Flashdance chair splash (because I do that every day!)
• Bartender class in Montreal (actually, it was a cute bartender in Montreal, but whatever!)
• Butt cheek implants
• I’m too sexy for my life

And so many other things about Jen Schefft and breast implants, MS, Disabilities, sunflowers, Montreal, Toronto, horoscopes, lollypops, restaurants, etc. I guess I talk a lot.

Last night we had a surprise birthday party for my mom at a great restaurant in Strathmore. I had SO MUCH FUN. Sometimes I forget just how crazy my mom’s friend Andrea is. Andrea used to drive for Handi-Bus and met my mom when she picked her up about 25 years ago to take her to a job interview. 10 years later Andrea was at a retirement party for one of the employees where my mom worked, and approached my mom and said “so, I guess you got the job, huh?” and they’ve been friends ever since. She is a RIOT. Why she isn’t doing stand-up comedy I’ll never know, except her brand of comedy is so politically incorrect she would be kicked off the stage (but maybe put on HBO, which would be a good thing!). She is an equal opportunity offender though, and you have to know her heart and who she really is to understand that she really is kidding. We were all in tears with sore bellies from laughing so hard. Oh, and when in Strathmore, the Strathmore Station has grrrrreat food!!

I watched The Notebook on Friday night. I have never been much of a Nicholas Sparks fan… I read a couple of his books a few years back and didn’t like them. This movie though, I really loved! Very sweet, heartwarming love story that makes you wonder (if you’re single, that is) if you will ever find that…??? I felt so alone after watching it and bawled like a baby. Damn movies, setting my standards so bloody high!! (Side note: Ryan Gosling is HOT).

Today Michelle and I are being poster girls again, this time for Lindy. We’re off to staple the town, then go for dinner somewhere. That’ll be fun!

Will Ferrell hosted Saturday Night Live last night and I was too much of a wimp to stay up late and watch it so it’s waiting for me in the VCR right now. Off I go to laugh until my sides hurt again!!