Can You Hear Me Now?

I just got home from the mall and I MUST announce to any and all Wal-Mart shoppers, that they have this kit they’ve put together called “Teen Select for Young Women” (ha ha ha ha! Like that’s gonna stop me) that contains the following:

• A full size bottle of Skintimate shave gel
• A full size bottle of Salon Selectives shampoo
• A full size bottle of Tone Mango Splash body wash (love that stuff)
• A full size Soft & Dri dri gel deodorant
• One of those flip top containers of Crest toothpaste
• Large bar of goat’s milk soap
• Schick razor
• Package of Juicy Fruit gum
• “Advantage” Atkin’s low carb bar
• One Fisherman’s Friend (yes Lisa, only one)
• Can of “The Simpson’s” soda, “Lisa” flavoured (lemon-lime)

I feel the need to point out “full size” because often these kits come with sample sizes, but this is the real deal. All for the glorious price of $6.93. Considering I use a lot of that stuff all the time anyway, how could I possibly pass this up?? I’m picking up a few more when I have money this weekend. Unless, of course, you guys are running out right now to buy them all.

My real reason for being at the mall was to meet with Eric. Holy moley, what a day for this kid. His dad is in Court facing charges for child molestation. Apparently he was charged and sentenced back in 1992 as well (but only for two months before he was set free to act again, YAY justice system!!) His dad is 100% sure he’s going to be let off and plead “not guilty” this time. Eric is 100% positive he will be found guilty and sentenced 3-5 years (again, YAY justice system!! Can you sense my sarcasm). I, personally, am hoping they find him guilty, lock him up, and throw away the key. Do I want this man free to walk among our children again in a maximum of five years?? I think not.

However, the man is obviously sick, and I feel SO bad for Eric. What a load to carry, what a legacy to bear. He’s a wreck today, awaiting the phone call from his mom about the outcome. Eric was placed into the custody of Social Services when his dad was charged last year, and Eric’s own “cry for help” didn’t go over very well. He has been living in the System ever since. His mom, who he does not have much of a relationship with, has Eric’s 6 and 3 year old brother and sister and a mortgage to worry about when good ‘ol dad is put in jail. Only a very sick man would make such a decision as to hurt innocent children, tear apart his family, and land himself in jail. Only a very sick man would not take into consideration the consequences of his actions, the pain he is causing to so many, and the fact he may never see his own children again. Yet, I still can’t bring myself to feel sorry for the man.

Since Eric has been in the “Youth in Care” program for over a year and went from a group home to his current “transitional housing” apartment, the fact his dad is going to prison has no affect on Eric’s living situation. It’s really just a piece of paper… his father will lose legal guardianship of Eric and The Province will gain it. Eric is already living that anyway, nothing will change there. But the REALITY of it all is very hard for him to take. The shame, the embarrassment of knowing your father is in jail and why… the confusion and guilt he is experiencing about whether or not he would visit his dad in jail and continue to have a relationship with him (I vote “not”, but that is for him to decide and me to support either way… as long as he understands that not wanting to see his father again does not make him a “bad” person). Eric fell short in the “Dad” department and it’s not his fault, hopefully he really understands that.

Anyway, we had a good long talk about everything. He still wanted to go to the candy aisle at Wal-Mart because “it’s going to be a rough night, I’m going to need chocolate”. (What, are you a WOMAN?!?) I told him “Eric, if there is one thing I DON’T want you to learn from me, it is to eat when you’re stressed or turn to food for comfort…” The world has enough emotional eaters, save yourself…

And today marked Eric’s “Graduation from Therapy” with his last therapist appointment taking place before he met me at the mall. I found that kind of shocking, considering what is taking place today, and the effect it is having on him. I guess Eric’s therapy simply focused on Eric and only his reasons for going into care in the first place, not his family or how to deal with a father letting you down in such a way as his has. “Social Services won’t pay for that counseling”. Hmmmm… is there not something wrong with the System, when kids are being put into it with these huge chips on their shoulders, usually because they got the raw end of the stick when it came to parents?? And there isn’t counseling available to help them understand and move past that? Geez. The kid I worked with a few years ago had a dad in jail too. Drug charges. When Dad got out of jail, the first place he took John was to a crack house. How do you stand a chance with a father like that?? Get these kids the proper help STAT.